Pointy-Eared Bastards
In all likelihood, the Great Forest was the most vast, deep, and towering expanse of woodland in both the Divine and Demon Realms.
Naturally, fitting its staggering scale, it served as an immense cradle of biodiversity—a perilous, mystical domain teeming with bizarre flora, strange fauna, and grotesque demonic beasts.
"Ah... man, this brings back memories."
"Orabeoni, have you been to the Great Forest before?" Vivian asked, scurrying over after excitedly peering around at the towering greenery, looking up at me with wide, curious eyes.
"No, never."
"Then what are you feeling nostalgic about?"
"I used to come here all the time to level grind. The EXP was pretty sweet."
"Level grind? EXP? What in the world are those?"
"Just things."
"Hmph... You never give me a straight answer, Brother."
"Did I? My bad."
I chuckled and ruffled her hair as she pouted, sticking her lower lip out. A refreshingly cool breeze swept past us, flowing clean and crisp across my skin.
"Phew..."
The pure, invigorating air prompted me to take a deep, unconscious breath before I tilted my head back to survey the vast panorama of the forest.
When most people imagine a massive wilderness bursting with untold wildlife, they picture something like the sweltering, overgrown canopy of the Amazon rainforest. The Great Forest, however, was the exact opposite.
Enormous trees stood spaced apart at generous, calculated intervals. In the gaps between them, lush shrubbery and vibrant flowers bloomed in pristine harmony, all bathed in air completely devoid of sticky humidity. Despite clearly being a dense, primeval forest, walking through it didn't feel the slightest bit uncomfortable—which was honestly bizarre.
If anything, it felt like strolling through a meticulously manicured royal park.
I knew this was the sacred territory of the World Tree and that the elves tended to it with obsessive care, but since the original game had never featured such vivid descriptions, the scenery stirred a subtle sense of disconnect. Then again, even if the game had described it, I probably wouldn't have cared back then. I had never been interested in anything other than hunting monsters.
"This way."
"Nemeth. I get that you're anxious, but slow down a bit. We can't keep up with that pace."
"...My apologies."
Nemeth, who was leading the way at the front of the group, bit her lip and offered a quiet apology. We had already disembarked from our carriage and were cutting through the interior on foot, but her stride had grown so brisk that I was starting to run out of breath.
By the way, the carriage had been stuffed whole into my Subspace Pouch. Honestly, I never dreamed an entire carriage would fit inside, but figuring I had nothing to lose by trying, I gave it a shot—and lo and behold, it slipped right in.
Skrrrrt...!
Right then, a colossal creature plummeted from a thick branch just a short distance away.
Slash!
Before my reflexes could even activate the Absolute Ring Set, Nemeth's blade carved a brilliant arc of light through the air. Her physical motion was entirely invisible to the naked eye, but the outcome was unmistakable—the mangled, severed chunks of a carcass rained down onto the forest floor in a wet shower.
"......"
Judging by the rigid exoskeleton, it was probably some kind of giant insect monster. It had been diced into so many microscopic ribbons that I couldn't even tell what species it used to be.
"We do not have much farther to go."
"Right, right. We'll pick up the pace, so stop rushing us."
"......"
Nemeth held her tongue and resumed walking, and the rest of us quietly fell in behind her.
"Oh, right. Nemeth, I forgot to mention something."
"...What is it?"
She glanced over her shoulder, and I spoke in an utterly nonchalant tone.
"If I end up pitching a fit and raising hell with the elves, just roll with it. Got it?"
"Pardon?"
"You know how those pointy-eared bastards act. I really don't have the patience to put up with their bullshit."
"...Please, I beg of you. Do not do anything reckless."
"Listen to you, talking like all I ever do is cause trouble. Relax. If they act like civilized gentlemen, I'll be on my best behavior too. Just like you, Nemeth."
"......"
I curled the corner of my lips into a sly grin, prompting Nemeth to look back at me with an expression of profound dread.
Origin World was unquestionably a masterpiece of a game, but it was by no means an immaculate sanctuary devoid of annoying flaws. It was weighed down by its fair share of stale, outdated tropes—reeking of archaic boomer design and tedious narrative choices.
And sitting right at the absolute pinnacle of that stench were the elves.
The developers had leaned so heavily into every worn-out fantasy cliché imaginable that the players naturally grew sick to death of them.
Raised in complete isolation from the outside world, they were uncompromising, narrow-minded bigots who treated only what they had seen and heard as absolute truth. Add to that an insufferable superiority complex inflated to astronomical heights by their racial longevity and the World Tree, topped off with a stubbornness harder than tempered steel and a sense of time utterly divorced from humanity. It was a setup so transparently engineered to spark cheap, forced drama that the community forums had practically overflowed with venom.
And so on, and so forth.
Personally, I leaned toward agreeing with those sentiments. I couldn't stand the haughty elven attitude either. But why do clichés become clichés in the first place? Because they work. They survive the test of time precisely because people find them entertaining.
Watching an arrogant, high-and-mighty elf realize her place, secretly strive to earn the protagonist's respect, slowly open her guarded heart, and eventually flounder in adorable confusion upon realizing her feelings had turned to romantic devotion was, without question, a thoroughly satisfying narrative.
...However, that was strictly when viewed from the safe, detached perspective of a gamer staring at a monitor. Now that this world was my reality, if some snobbish prick tried pulling that routine directly in front of my face, I had neither the patience nor the charity to indulge them.
"Look out."
Case in point: the arrow that came streaking out of nowhere this very second.
To think they would announce our proximity to their settlement with an unprovoked lethal shot. How remarkably hospitable.
"...Attacking without so much as a warning. Is this typical behavior for elves?" Muriel asked calmly, having effortlessly cleaved the arrow in two mid-flight before turning her flat gaze toward Nemeth.
"N-No! This is a misunderstanding! There must be some mistake!" Nemeth frantically waved her hands, then snapped her head toward a cluster of distant branches and bellowed at the top of her lungs. Her voice, thoroughly laced with mana, reverberated like thunder across the canopy. "Hold your fire! These people are guests invited by my hand!!"
After a deliberate, tense pause, a chorus of voices echoed back like a mocking choir.
"Is that Nazareth Nemeth? The coward who fled the forest dare show her face here again? What shameless insolence."
"Who granted you the authority to invite guests into this sanctuary? Impudent dark elf."
"To incur the wrath of the World Tree, bear its divine curse, and then drag filthy, foolish humans into our home... Have you finally lost your mind?"
Naturally, the response was anything but welcoming.
"Kh...! These are the companions I brought to lift that very curse!" Nemeth shouted back, gritting her teeth.
"Bringing humans to pacify the fury of the World Tree? It seems you possess not a single shred of elven pride."
"As if mere humans could ever unravel the curse of the World Tree. Has the affliction completely rotted your intellect? You are an utter disgrace to our kin."
"We will not permit humans to defile the realm of the World Tree. By all rights, you should be barred entry as well... but even cursed by our mother, elven blood still flows through your veins. As an act of mercy, we shall overlook this transgression if you submit to the penitence chambers. You need only reflect upon your sins there for roughly a hundred years."
"Listen to these self-righteous bastards run their mouths," I remarked, shoving Nemeth aside as I strode to the forefront. "I knew better than to expect basic human decency from pointy-eared snobs."
"Lord Alzen! Please, wait! I can still reason with them!"
"Reason with what? From the sound of it, they aren't just racist against humans—they're knee-deep in discrimination against dark elves too. Besides, what kind of suicidal nerve does it take to talk down to a Sword Master like that? Do they have a collective death wish?"
"Mind your tongue, human. You have already stepped into the territory of the World Tree—its innermost sanctum, no less. A lesser creature like you is not even permitted to breathe this sacred air."
"If you believe you can flaunt such insolence merely because you hide behind Nazareth Nemeth's coat-tails, it is you who throw your life away so cheaply. Do you truly believe there are no warriors comparable to Nemeth serving beneath the World Tree?"
"Huh? Elves of the Master rank?" I scoffed. "At best, aren't there only two—Latipi and Benoite?"
"...What?! You bastard! How do you know those names?!"
"Nazareth Nemeth! Did you dare leak our people's greatest secrets to a filthy human?!"
"Tsk, tsk. Always measuring the entire world against your own pathetic, narrow standards..." I clicked my tongue loudly. "Dietz, your rotten personality has always been your fatal flaw."
"...How do you—?!"
The moment his name left my lips, an unmistakable tremor of shock rippled through the invisible presence in the trees.
"Well, whatever. That's between you and your god," I said casually. "Since you fired first, it's only polite that I return the favor, right?"
"Lord Alzen!"
"Shut up, Nemeth. If you actually want to achieve what you came here for, keep your mouth shut and follow my lead."
When I glared down at her with cold, unyielding eyes, Nemeth bit her lower lip hard and bowed her head in submission.
"...Ha! Submitting to a human, Nemeth! How fitting for the wretched traitor who brought down the wrath of the World Tree!"
"You truly are a fallen—"
"Will you shut the fuck up already?"
Focusing my will into the Absolute Ring of Taunt, a crimson pulse of energy rippled outward, washing across the vast expanse of the forest canopy.
An instant later, three arrows came streaking toward me like blinding flashes of lightning. Imbued heavily with nature spirits, their trajectories twisted erratically through the air, defying ordinary physics.
Kzzzzzt!
Unfortunately for them, against an initial strike, I was practically an invincible god.
The Absolute Evasion Ring twisted my frame with supernatural perfection, letting the deadly projectiles whistle harmlessly past my cheek, before the Absolute Counter Ring immediately roared to life.
Three massive pitch-black spears, each as thick as a grown man's torso, materialized out of thin air. They obliterated every tree trunk, branch, and foliage barrier in their path, surging into the canopy before eliciting a trio of sharp, agonized shrieks.
"They're supposed to be sturdy elves, so something that weak shouldn't have killed them," I said, rolling my shoulder. "Muriel. Rebecca. Go pick them up."
"Understood."
"Right away, my lord."
Muriel replied with deadpan composure while Rebecca offered a wry, helpless smile, the two of them vanishing into the brush. Watching their retreating figures with mounting distress, Cecilia reached out and tugged worriedly on my sleeve.
"...Lord Alzen. What do you intend to do?"
"Who knows? Basically, I'm going to tear this place apart, but the exact severity will depend entirely on how they react."
"Hey, are you seriously going to cause a scene here?" Weller remarked, raising an eyebrow.
I simply shrugged at my sister's question. "Eh, things have a way of working out."
"So you don't even have a plan. Unbelievable, as always..." Weller muttered, clicking her tongue in exasperation. Wendy sighed deeply as if she had long accepted my madness, and Lira let out an awkward, bitter chuckle.
What a supportive bunch. None of my party members ever treat me like a proper leader.
"Lord Alzen! I'm completely on your side! Just give the word, and I'll chop every last one of them down for you!"
Leave it to Lampon Pashtra to be the only one genuinely backing me up. Watching her vigorously swing her massive battle axe while her colossal bust bounced wildly with every movement was an absolute feast for the eyes, instantly lifting my foul mood.
"Pashtra. Stay just the way you are. You're a good girl."
"Hehe...? Y-Yes, my lord!"
Even though she clearly didn't understand what I meant, the way she grinned like an innocent, lovable airhead was absurdly endearing.
"We have retrieved them."
"None of them are dead. I suppose we should consider that a blessing."
Muriel and Rebecca emerged from the thicket carrying three unconscious, bloodied elves and dropped them unceremoniously onto the mossy ground. Cecilia immediately fidgeted, looking up at me with pleading eyes.
"U-Um, Lord Alzen. May I heal them?"
"Knock yourself out."
"Thank goodness! I'll begin right away!"
"Nazareth Nemeth. What is the meaning of this? Are you actively betraying the World Tree?"
While Cecilia channeled her golden divine arts to mend the elves' shattered bones, another cold, resonant voice echoed through the trees.
"...Lord Alzen. Step behind me."
"Hm? Are there that many of them?"
Muriel gently tugged my arm, stepping forward with her guard raised as she gave a slight nod. "Yes. There are easily several dozen closing in."
"Man, they sure gather fast... But why won't any of them show their faces? Hiding up in the branches and whispering like creeping shadows is really starting to piss me off."
Channeling my senses through the Absolute Ring Set, I turned my gaze toward Nemeth.
"Nemeth."
"...Yes, Lord Alzen."
"To be brutally honest, we don't actually need these elves to resolve this crisis. In fact, they're nothing but a nuisance. Sure, we need someone to guide us to the World Tree's root, but beyond that, they have zero practical value to me."
"......"
"So make your choice right now. What do you want to do?"
"...Will you truly honor my decision?"
"If possible. We've spent enough time together for me to care that much."
"That... is very comforting to hear. Phew..."
Nemeth closed her eyes tight and took a slow, deliberate breath. Beside her, Arpe looked on with quiet concern, reaching out to gently squeeze the dark elf's trembling hand.
"...I will follow your will, Lord Alzen."
"Music to my ears," I said with a smirk. "Honestly, losing a high-tier combat asset like you would've been a massive pain in the ass."
"......"
"Alright, here we go. Everyone, battle stations."
Watching my companions draw their respective weapons, I didn't hesitate for a single second. I flared the power of the Absolute Ring of Taunt once more, washing the ancient woods in an overwhelming, taunting wave of crimson intent.
Fwwwoooosh!
With an ear-splitting howl that ripped through the very atmosphere, several dozen spirit-charged arrows descended from the canopy, carving eerie, lethal arcs through the sky as they converged on my head.