You Don't Have Any Friends, Do You?
Ever since her visit on the very first day, the Third Imperial Princess had been frequenting my room at every available opportunity. It wasn't even a daily thing anymore; she was dropping by practically every single hour. And to make matters worse, she dragged along Nazareth Nemeth, an assassin of Sword Master caliber, as her shadow escort.
Sure, the booze and cigarettes she brought as gifts were welcome, but still—that alone was causing me an immense amount of stress. Yet infuriatingly enough, she wasn't the only source of my headache.
With the banquet drawing near, hordes of nobles had arrived ahead of schedule and taken up residence within the Duke's Castle. The fallout of an event that should never have been particularly massive swelling exponentially all because of the Third Princess was finally rearing its ugly head.
Sycophants trying to make a face-to-face impression on the Princess or the Duke.
Scavengers snooping around to see if they could scrounge up some scraps.
Chumps trying to leverage this opportunity to build petty little schemes.
Social climbers out to expand their networks.
Fools looking to brag about their wealth and achievements.
Et cetera, et cetera.
As all those bastards gathered, split apart, and clamored endlessly, the castle grounds were thrown into sheer bedlam.
And was that all? Far from it. Her presence had faded slightly into the background as of late, but none other than the Saintess herself was currently staying in the castle as well. As naturally as thread follows a needle, scores of high-ranking church dignitaries had flocked here too, turning the place into an utter shitshow.
"Haaah..."
Under normal circumstances, none of this would have stressed me out in the slightest. As long as I holed up in my room and did nothing, nothing would ever happen. But unfortunately and tragically, both the Third Princess and the Saintess were parading in and out of my personal sanctuary on a daily basis. Nobles with political instincts honed like razors were hardly going to overlook that.
As a result, it wasn't just the princess crossing my threshold anymore; nobles of every stripe began beating a path straight to my door.
Turning them away with various excuses worked once or twice, but when you kept slamming the door in their faces without any apparent reason, rumors would start flying and they'd inevitably take it as a personal insult. Damned aristocrats, drunk on their own self-importance.
"You look terrible. Are you feeling fatigued? Shall I have some restorative tea brought to you?"
"..."
Because Pitora and Urtega had personally visited to lecture me sternly about minding my manners, I couldn't even brush those noble visitors off half-heartedly. I was reduced to listening to hours of pointless prattle from several nobles a day—including the Third Princess herself.
In my heart of hearts, I wanted nothing more than to march into Urtega's office and piss all over his desk, but that wouldn't fix anything. If a stunt like that could have solved the problem, I would have done it ages ago.
"Your Highness. It feels a bit awkward to ask, but... do you actually find talking to me enjoyable?"
"Yes! Very much so!"
Her platinum-blonde hair swayed and her matching platinum eyes sparkled as she beamed broadly, drawing a heavy sigh from my chest.
"What on earth could possibly be so entertaining? I don't recall saying a single amusing thing."
"Wouldn't you say that very aspect feels refreshingly fun in its own way?"
Beaming from ear to ear, she reached for a cookie on the table and nibbled on it. It wasn't proper etiquette by any stretch, but she didn't care in the slightest, munching away with evident relish. At first, she had kept up some semblance of decorum, but with each successive visit, her guard had steadily melted away until she was lounging about as if she owned the place.
"..."
Wait, is this that classic trope? The rude, reckless delinquent who inadvertently piques the interest of high-and-mighty nobility... the exact kind of cliché straight out of a romance fantasy novel?
Utterly absurd.
I had gone out of my way to draw clear boundaries and act in the most off-putting manner possible just to lower the Third Princess's opinion of me and kill her interest. And this was the result?
Then what the hell was I supposed to do? Drop my trousers and take a dump right in front of her?
"To be blunt, Your Highness, you're giving me a massive headache."
"My goodness." Her eyes widened in surprise before she let out an amused giggle. "I believe you're truly the very first person to say something like that to my face. What could possibly be troubling you so much?"
"Well... Your Highness visits far too often. It's uncomfortable."
"Is that so? Even hearing that, however, I have no intention of giving up, you know. If you want me to stop, then become mine, Stanashila Aljen."
"...Ah, forget it."
With her constantly shoving an offer in my face that would cause disaster whether I accepted or refused, my blood pressure was through the roof. Half in despair, I pulled out a cigarette, lit it, and took a long drag.
"...Sir Stanashila Aljen. That crosses the line into outright insolence. Extinguish that cigarette this instant."
Apparently unable to overlook this brazen disregard for courtly etiquette, Nazareth Nemeth, who had been standing at attention like a statue, finally spoke up.
"Pheeew... Your Highness, surely one cigarette won't hurt, right?"
"Of course! The smoke stings a bit and makes me cough, but... I will bear with it!"
"Gee, thanks."
While I was at it, I swigged a mouthful of liquor, slumped my shoulders, and regarded her through half-lidded eyes.
"Your Highness. There is something I don't quite understand."
"Oh? Ask me anything."
"I understand you desperately covet my ability. But..."
"Ah, wait just a moment." Raising a hand to cut me off, she wore a solemn expression. "It's true that until a few days ago, my sole objective was your rare and dangerous ability. But that is no longer the case. Now, including that ability, I have taken an interest in you as a person."
"...Why on earth would you do that?"
"Who can say? Perhaps because your insolence, lack of manners, and pathetic attempts to play hard to get are rather endearing? You're a type of person I've never had by my side before."
"..."
Well, aren't we coming on strong.
I bared my teeth slightly around the filter and inhaled another plume of smoke.
"You have rather peculiar tastes."
"I hear that quite often. Now, what was it you were trying to ask?"
"Ah, right... Anyway, I understand that you want me. But why are you sticking strictly to moderate methods?"
"What do you mean by that?"
As she tilted her head curiously, I flashed a smirk.
"You wield omnipotent imperial authority, Your Highness. That means you have no reason to limit yourself to sweet incentives. Extortion, sowing discord, political sabotage, economic pressure... you could pull off whatever you wished if you truly set your mind to it. Why haven't you resorted to such measures?"
"...Are you saying you find it baffling that I haven't turned those methods against you?"
"Precisely."
"Fufu... Lord Aljen really is eccentric. Most people might think such things in secret, but they would never dare say them out loud." Smiling radiantly, she began swinging her legs back and forth like a cheerful child, unable to contain her amusement. "There's no grand reason. Leaving aside the fact that I dislike such methods, obtaining what I desire that way brings neither joy nor a sense of fulfillment."
"Hmm..."
So, being a default heroine, she had a fundamentally good-natured core after all.
"Besides... wouldn't that make things far too easy? Things obtained easily are just as easily discarded. To truly treasure something, doesn't it require a difficult, arduous process to win it?"
"..."
Scratch that. She's not normal at all.
And what cheek, spouting that nonsense when she had tried to openly flaunt her connection to Greenjack during our very first encounter. Though naturally, I kept that thought to myself—no need to poke a sleeping hornets' nest.
"Haaah..." Letting out another sigh, I tossed back another gulp of booze.
"..."
"..."
Once more, an awkward silence settled over the room.
Most of our interactions had unfolded like this. Aside from a few brief exchanges, I remained tight-lipped while she sat there, watching me intently with a grin. And each time that happened, a creepy foreboding and an uncomfortably vivid sense of crisis washed over me. It felt like being locked in the sights of an apex predator.
"...Fufu. Lord Aljen, would you care to play a game of riddles with me?"
"No."
"How disappointing. I trust you'll indulge me next time, though."
My temples throbbed so painfully that my face twisted into a scowl. Dealing with a brat who outranked me was infuriatingly exhausting. I couldn't fathom what went on inside that head of hers...
As I grumbled inwardly, a brilliant idea struck me.
"Everil."
"Y-Yeees?!"
I had merely called her name, yet Everil's shrill shriek echoed loudly across the room. She was clearly petrified. In fact, I had noticed her trembling in the corner for a while now and deliberately ignored it.
"Fufu... How adorable."
The Third Princess smiled warmly as she watched Everil. Did she even realize they were the same age?
"Everil. Go fetch Vivian, Leona, and Cecilia. Tell them to bring cards and board games."
"P-Pardon? Why would..."
"..."
"H-Heeek?! I-I'll bring them right away!"
Watching Everil scurry out of the room, I sighed. I had put her on attendant duty somewhat impulsively, but she fell dreadfully short when compared to Muriel.
"Vivian is the youngest of the ducal house, Cecilia is the Saintess... though I don't know who Leona is. But why call them here?"
"You look like you don't have any friends, Your Highness. I figured I'd make you some."
"...Pardon?"
Ignoring her dumbfounded stare, I continued drinking. Before long, the three girls tumbled into the room in a noisy herd.
To my eyes, they looked like saviors descended straight from the heavens.
Fighting fire with fire was good, but handling a kid with other kids was even better.
"Brother! Did you call for—gasp?!"
"The Princess is here...?"
"Y-Your Imperial Highness...?!"
Vivian, dashing in with an innocent smile, gasped and froze stiff the second she spotted the Third Princess. Cecilia warily read the room to gauge my intentions, and Leona went deathly pale.
"Welcome. Go on, set up the board. Let's play a game for old times' sake."
"U-Um... is Her Highness playing with us too?"
"Of course. You expect her to just sit there and watch?"
"...I never said I would play," the princess murmured.
"Come on, just one round. You'll love it."
Seeing the Third Princess looking utterly flabbergasted gave me a delightful spark of petty satisfaction.
"T-Then... shall we play the Game of Life? I actually made an updated version of my own..."
"Oho. Did you? Sounds great. Let's play that."
"Yes!"
Unsurprisingly, the one who adapted with pure, unadulterated innocence was Vivian. Having flowers in one's head was usually an insult, but in Vivian's case, it was a genuine virtue.
As a delighted Vivian spread the game board, pieces, and play currency across the table, the Third Princess observed with intrigue.
"What are all these? Some sort of board game?"
"You could say that. It's not particularly difficult, so you'll pick it up in no time. Come closer."
"...Well, very well. I shall humor you."
Letting out a small sigh, the Third Princess straightened her posture, suddenly resuming the poise of royal decorum that she had cast aside moments ago.
"However, playing for nothing is rather dull. Shall we make a wager?"
"A wager... such as?"
"Hmm, how about granting any single wish the winner desires?"
"I'm in, provided Your Highness doesn't use your 'Voice.'"
"...You speak as though you are thoroughly acquainted with my Voice. Could it be that you know something?"
Instantly, her platinum eyes flared with sharp light.
Damn it, slip of the tongue.
While it was widely known that her voice was extraordinary, the exact nature of its specialty—the concrete power and authority woven into it—was surprisingly kept under wraps.
Shit, this was precisely why I had tried to keep my mouth shut.
"Who knows...? Maybe I do, maybe I don't. More importantly, let's begin."
"Fufu. Very well. This should be quite amusing. Ah, and I swear upon my name that I will not use my Voice."
"Gee, I'm truly touched."
Flashing a wry, twisted smirk, I picked up the dice. After giving a brief explanation of the rules and mechanics, I took charge of the match as both host and player.