Never Saw This Coming
A harsh screech of clashing steel jolted me awake, but all that met my eyes was murky darkness and sparks flying through the air.
Clang! Schwing! Skrrrrt!
It looked like Wendy was locked in a fierce brawl with someone, but it was so pitch-black I couldn't see a damn thing.
"Haaah..."
Dragging myself up with a heavy groan, I grabbed the nearest bottle of booze, took a swig, and let out my sleep-deprived annoyance in a raspy grumble.
"Wendy, what the hell are you doing? Light the place up first."
"...!"
Fwoosh!
Instantly, a burst of sacred radiance imbued with the power to banish evil illuminated the room.
"Now that's too damn bright..."
Squinting through half-closed eyes, I grumbled and scanned the chamber.
Three intruders in total.
One was locking blades with Wendy, while the other two lingered behind with their arms crossed on standby.
"Of course, wouldn't be assassins without wrapping themselves up like mummies..."
Draped head to toe in black cloth and masks, the only visible parts of them were their eyes. Sighing, I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and checked on the kids first.
"Phew... phew..."
"Mmm..."
"Zzz..."
Vivian, Cecilia, Leona... Fortunately, they were fast asleep without a scratch on them.
Considering they hadn't stirred through all this racket, they had clearly been put under by some special means—most likely magic or an artifact. The Holy Guardian Fortress must have shielded me. Otherwise, there was no way I'd be the only one awake.
"Now let's see..." Turning my head, I looked between the three assassins. "You folks from Greenjack? Nice to meet ya, I guess."
I gave a lazy wave and lit a cigarette. I could feel all three pairs of eyes snap toward me.
"Hmph!"
Claaang!
Seizing the opening, Wendy shoved her opponent back with brute force and swiftly positioned herself in front of me.
"I am relieved you are awake, Lord Alzen! Please look after the Saintess and the others!"
"Hmm? Well... not sure I can do much in a situation like this."
Despite my words, my mind focused on the Absolute Ring Set as I looked the intruders up and down. I couldn't use it on the bastard Wendy had been clashing with, but the two spectating in the back probably hadn't entered the combat phase yet, meaning they were fair game. In a pinch, I could also unwrap the Silk of Atonement bound around my left arm. It might look unassuming, but as a Unique-grade relic, its abilities were nothing to scoff at.
Hmm...
Though if I did that, my demonized arm would be exposed, which would be a massive pain in the ass...
"...Wait." Looking at the assassins standing motionless as statues, a flicker of doubt crossed my mind. "Hey, why are you guys so damn relaxed?"
Their assassination had essentially already failed. Not only was the target awake, but Wendy, a powerhouse in her own right, stood glaring daggers at them. In other words, backup could be summoned at any second. They ought to be scrambling in desperation, yet the three of them just stood watching—showing no intent to pounce, nor any sign of running away.
"...Stanashila Aljen. There is something I wish to ask."
"Ho? An assassin asking for a chat? Now that's pretty amusing."
"We did not come here to kill you."
I stared at the assassin who stepped forward to speak with an incredulous look.
"You sneak in here in the dead of night and cross swords, yet you're telling me you didn't come to kill me?"
"It was your escort who drew first blood. We harbored no intent to slay you from the start."
"Hmm. Is that true, Wendy?"
"It is true that I struck first. Perceiving them to be assassins infiltrating through stealth, I engaged."
"Did they counterattack?"
"...They did not."
"Is that so..."
A smirk tugged at the corner of my lips. That meant none of the three assassins had made their 'first strike' yet. Which gave me a hell of a lot of room to play with if things went south.
"Still pretty hard to swallow, though. Aren't you just flustered because I woke up and making excuses?"
"Though we had no intent to kill, our original mission was your abduction."
Well, aren't you scary.
"...Well, fine. Infiltrating my room is grounds enough for execution, but... out of the goodness of my heart, I'll grant you an audience."
"Very well. What we wish to hear is—"
"Hey. I said I'm showing mercy by hearing you out. Shouldn't there be something you say first?"
"...?"
"Haaah, look at you struggling to keep up. Is it because you uneducated brutes never had proper manners beaten into you? Don't you even know how to say thank you?"
"......"
The assassins fell into stunned silence while Wendy's jaw dropped in disbelief, but I kept right on grinning. Eventually, grasping the absurd dynamic, the lead assassin lowered his head.
"...We express our deepest gratitude for your mercy."
They actually went along with it? Guess they really aren't here to murder me.
"Hmm, still not using honorifics rubs me the wrong way, but... whatever, I'll let it slide. Expecting refinement and etiquette from cutthroats would be asking too much."
"I suggest you curb your provocations, Stanashila Aljen. You cannot be foolish enough to misunderstand the situation you are in."
"Heh. And what situation would that be? Waking up in the dead of night to chat with a bunch of uncultured thugs? Gotta admit, it is pretty pathetic. How my life ended up like this, I have no damn clue. I already get enough headaches from the uninvited guests knocking on my door every day."
"......"
Meeting their murderous glares head-on, I merely shrugged.
"Alright, let's cut to the chase like you wanted. What business do you have trying to kidnap me? Agelmeyer."
"...!!"
Hearing his name out of nowhere, the assassin's eyes trembled for a fraction of a second.
"...Indeed. It seems the rumors and Berik's report were true after all. Yet it remains an enigma. How on earth did you discern my identity?"
"Do I look like an information booth to you?"
When I dodged his question with a sly, mocking smirk, he stared at me for a beat before nodding slowly.
Truth be told, it was just an educated guess. A figure with the authority to deviate from a straight assassination and take the initiative on-site, combined with the visible gender, mannerisms, eye color, and vocal timbre... There were plenty of clues, but I hadn't been a hundred percent certain.
"Fine. Then to the point. Stanashila Aljen, do you have any intention of joining Greenjack?"
Hearing his offer, I was glad my guess was right. If I'd been wrong, things could have gotten awkward.
"...I already heard that pitch from Berik. Didn't we settle that? Sounded pretty close to a declaration of war, if I recall."
"That is not a matter Berik has the authority to decide."
"Hmm, which means your higher-ups still want me, huh?"
"Correct. Rare talents like you do not come along every day."
"...Hmph."
Come to think of it, it wasn't all that surprising. Even the lore bible noted that the Third Princess had an insatiable greed for talent. Founding Greenjack in the first place was practically the byproduct of that obsession.
The problem was, this proposal was made on the assumption that I knew nothing of the relationship between them and the royal court. If I accepted, I'd undoubtedly be made to cough up information non-stop... but unfortunately, I lacked the delicate touch needed to classify information by its secrecy, category, and depth.
It made sense. I experienced this universe through a game, while they were born and bred here. An insurmountable gulf existed between our values and perspectives. That was why I had simply hurled information around haphazardly and watched their reactions until now. That had been my playbook so far, and that was how it would stay.
If an intelligence specialist born in this world looked closely at how I operated, what conclusion would they reach? They'd figure it out eventually. Even without solid proof, the suspicion would crystallize. They would realize that I knew everything.
"...And if I refuse?"
"You will die."
"Well, damn. That's just a straight-up threat. How are you any different from Berik?"
"Uncovering Greenjack's existence and using a Sword Master to flush us out is proof enough of the threat you pose. Thus, if you cannot be recruited, you must be eliminated."
"Is that the higher-ups' stance as well?"
"......"
Seeing him remain silent, I stroked my chin. According to the lore settings, the Third Princess tended to be fiercely possessive of talents that caught her eye, showing them immense leniency. The fact that these assassins hadn't lunged at me despite all my taunts was living proof of that.
Even so, there was a line. I doubted she would let someone who figured out the link between herself and Greenjack walk away alive.
Ah, this was a total checkmate scenario. Accept the offer, and I'd be found out and killed before long anyway. Refuse, and it was immediate war.
"...Ah, dammit. Dear old Dad, why the hell did you have to do that?"
A sigh slipped past my lips as my resentment toward Urtega grew in real time for orchestrating this mess. In truth, my choice was already made, but having to deal with this headache in the first place was pure stress.
"What to do, what to do..."
"You need not answer right this instant. I will grant you one week. Make your decision within that time."
"Huh? Ah, that's a flat no. Don't bother waiting."
"...What did you say?"
His body went rigid, and a creeping bloodlust began to bleed into the air.
"Do you not comprehend the weight of those words?"
"I know full well. It's war, isn't it?"
"...Curious. Why make such a choice? Are you somehow ignorant of Greenjack's might?"
"I know it inside out. You're that terrifying organization that could even assassinate the almighty Duke Urtega if push came to shove, right?"
"Knowing that, why?"
"Oh, well, you see... If I accept your offer, I'm the only one who suffers like a dog. But if I refuse, everyone gets dragged into suffering together. That's why. It wouldn't be fair if I was the only one getting screwed over."
"...Are you serious?"
"Yeah. Dead serious. Oh, and working under someone isn't really my style anyway."
"I see. You truly are a fool." His eyes flared as his form blurred, melting into the shadows like ink in water. "I suggest drafting your will in advance."
"Spoken just like Berik. What, do you guys have an employee manual for this?" Sneering shamelessly, I channeled my awareness into the Absolute Ring Set. "By the way, you aren't thinking of killing me right here and now?"
"...Wait quietly. For the hour of your death."
"Bullshit. You just can't lay a finger on me because you don't have orders from above, can you? Hehehe."
As I openly mocked him, a flash of genuine fury finally surfaced in Agelmeyer's gaze.
"I will slaughter you with my own two hands. Steel yourself."
"Ooh, shivering in my boots. But hey... did I ever say I was letting you leave?"
Before the words even left my mouth, I focused my will onto the Absolute Ring of Taunt. A crimson radiance flared out in an instant, seeping into Agelmeyer and the two assassins flanking him.
"Kugh?! What is—?!"
"Graaaagh!"
"Dieeeeee!"
Agelmeyer seemed to retain a shred of sanity, but his body betrayed him all the same, lunging forward with madness just like the other two.
"Lord Alzen?!"
"Stay back! You just clean up the mess afterward!"
"Pardon?! What do you mean—"
Wendy never got to finish her sentence.
Swiiish!
In an imperceptible fraction of a second, a violet aura erupted, contorting and bending my body in impossible angles to cleanly evade every incoming strike.
Flash!
Next, a black aura surged through me.
Thud! CRACK! SNAP!
"Gaaah?!"
"Kahaaak!"
"Gurk...!"
An undodgeable, unblockable counterattack that pulverized bone and tore through muscle. Vomiting chunks of shredded internal organs with caved-in chests, two of the assassins were blasted backward, dead before they even hit the ground.
"...Wasn't planning on killing them... Well, one's still breathing, so good enough."
It was the natural outcome. To assassins whose entire craft relied on delivering strikes far deadlier than their own physical durability, the Absolute Ring Set was their ultimate natural counter.
"Ughhh... Wh-what in the world...!"
If anything, Agelmeyer was impressive for having survived at all. He had only pulled through because his realm far surpassed that of an ordinary cutthroat. An executive of Greenjack was no pushover after all.
Looking down at him collapsed in a heap, gasping raggedly for breath, I flexed my left hand. Every single counterattack just now had been executed through this left arm, but the complete lack of physical sensation felt bizarre.
"...You are formidable, Lord Alzen."
"Huh? What nonsense are you spouting? It's all relic powers, and you know it."
Wendy, having been present during the battle against the Demon King, was one of the few who had witnessed me reflecting even the Demon King's attacks.
"Truth be told, until moments ago, I had forgotten. The spectacle was simply too detached from reality."
"Pfft. Really? Well, can't blame you. Honestly, it feels pretty unreal to me too." Chuckling softly, I took another swig from the bottle and jerked my chin toward Agelmeyer. "Anyway, patch that one up just enough so he doesn't kick the bucket, then tie him tight. I'm off to have a word with Urtega, who's been conspicuously absent through all this."
"Understood."
I ambled lazily out of the bedroom.
"Unbelievable... What was it he said? 'No assassination will ever be tolerated within the Duke's Castle'? Bullshit. I'm gonna give him an earful."
Gritting my teeth, I marched toward the Duke's study, but Urtega was nowhere to be found. Then again, look at the hour. Even if Urtega was an absurd powerhouse who had transcended human limits, the man still needed sleep.
"Bedroom, then?"
Without a second thought, I headed straight for Urtega's bedchamber and slammed the doors wide open with all my might.
"Hey, big-talking Father! Your beloved son just crawled back from the brink of—!"
"Eeeek...?!"
"......"
My eyes locked squarely onto the two of them, intensely devoted to the baby-making production line.
Speechless, my eyes darted back and forth for a second before genuine admiration slipped out.
"...Whoa. So even down there, a Demi-God is a Demi-God. Absolute monster."
"......"
"Ah, Mother looks magnificent too. The smoothness and firmness of your skin rivals a young maiden's. And it's such a lovely shade of pink down there as well. Well then, excuse me!"
Slam!
I yanked the door shut and bolted at full speed.
"Where do you think you are going in such a hurry?"
Naturally, I was caught in a matter of seconds.