Roping Them In
Come to think of it, barring anything unusual, my days were remarkably dull and repetitive.
Dealing with the occasional visitor was about the only thing that felt somewhat new. Other than that, I spent the vast majority of my time lounging around, indulging in distilled liquor and hand-rolled cigarettes.
Lately, however, Muriel had been blatantly closing the distance, seducing me at every turn and making it impossible to let down my guard. Call it an underlying dread born from not knowing what scheme she might pull next. At any rate, she was far from an ordinary human being, and the twisted madness lurking beneath her composed facade made her actions entirely unpredictable.
"Nnnh..."
"Did you sleep well, Lord Han-gil?"
"Yeah..."
"Good morning."
"Mhm..."
Acknowledging Muriel's morning greeting, I reached out with a limp hand to grab a liquor bottle and poured the fiery liquid straight down my throat.
"Pheeew..."
Only then did my senses clear enough for me to sit up. Muriel stood before me, hands folded neatly below her navel as she offered a polite, graceful bow. Looking at her like this, she seemed like the very paragon of an ideal maid.
"Did you sleep standing up again?"
"Yes."
"Is that actually comfortable?"
"I have grown accustomed to it, so it poses no issue."
"No, I'm the one who isn't comfortable. Whenever I wake up in the middle of the night and make eye contact with you, feels like my heart is going to stop. And why on earth do you choose to sleep right beside my bed, staring down at me?"
"So that I may meet eyes with you whenever you wake up and look up at me, Lord Han-gil."
"...Wait, you were awake?"
"No. Even while asleep, watching and listening present no difficulty."
"How does that even make sense? Please, just sleep like a normal person. Are you trying to give the person you serve a heart attack?"
At my muttered complaint, a radiant smile bloomed across her lips.
"Since you put it that way, I shall sleep in a bed starting tonight."
"Oh, finally listening to me? I'm genuinely touched."
"I have always been faithful to your commands, Lord Han-gil. I am quite looking forward to it."
"Looking forward to what? Were you actually hoping to sleep lying down all along?"
"No. My heart simply flutters at the thought of sharing the same bed with you, Lord Han-gil."
"......"
I glared at her through half-lidded eyes, but her expression didn't waver in the slightest.
"Use your own bed. Why crawl into mine?"
"I do not possess a bed. For your information, I have not been assigned a room either."
"Uh... seriously?"
"Yes."
I was momentarily taken aback. But when I thought about it, I really couldn't recall ever seeing her enjoy any semblance of a private life. She had always stayed glued to my side, attending to my every need. A prick of guilt brushed against my conscience.
"You should have said something sooner. I'll get you a room right away."
"No. There is no need for that. This is only natural for a Shadow Knight."
"Do all Shadow Knights get treated like you?"
"At least within the Ducal House, yes. I cannot speak for the Shadow Knights serving other families."
"Hmm..."
The exact treatment of Shadow Knights hadn't been detailed in the game's setting documents. But considering they were fundamentally assassins raised in the dark, they certainly wouldn't be afforded any luxuries.
"...If you're ever uncomfortable or need something, speak up immediately. Don't bottle it up."
"Fufu. Yes, I understand. Thank you for your consideration."
"Right... You really don't need a room?"
"Yes."
"...So you're dead set on crawling into my bed?"
"Yes."
I released a heavy sigh at her brazen response. Bickering back and forth was exhausting, and I lacked the energy to argue. Whatever. Let future me deal with future problems. In all likelihood, if Muriel pushed hard enough, I would probably end up resigning myself to it... but she wouldn't cross the final line. Probably.
"Lord Han-gil. It is time to wash. Allow me to assist you."
"...Out of nowhere? Not needed."
"No. I shall assist you."
"......"
What kind of stunt was she pulling now? Up until now, I had always bathed entirely on my own without any attendants. Having the mindset of a modern person, doing it myself was infinitely more comfortable.
"What is it this time? Are you just looking for new ways to bother me?"
"I have merely realized my duty at last, Lord Han-gil. No high-ranking noble ever bathes without attendance. This is a matter directly tied to the family's prestige and dignity."
"Aren't you blowing this way out of proportion? And bringing this up out of the blue... you just want to see me naked, don't you?"
"To be frank, yes."
"...Right. Honesty is a virtue. Good job."
"Thank you."
"Still don't need it."
"Is it because you are shy? Worry not. I shall disrobe alongside you, Lord Han-gil."
"Oh..."
In an instant, vivid memories of her naked form flashed through my mind.
"Fufu..."
Flashing a triumphant smile, Muriel glided forward and hooked her arms snugly around mine.
"Then let us proceed. I shall scrub you down with utmost care."
"Wait, no, hang on—"
Before I could even put up a token resistance, I was dragged off, and just as she had promised, I ended up being scrubbed down thoroughly from head to toe.
By some miracle, I managed to narrowly defend the line that must not be crossed. When I told her in no uncertain terms that I wasn't ready for that yet, she backed off understandingly.
"I'm exhausted..."
That was that, but wrestling to rein in my primal desires and cling to my sanity had completely drained every ounce of my stamina. As I lay slumped like a corpse across the sofa, Muriel approached with glowing, radiant skin and a blooming smile.
"That was a most fulfilling time. Please entrust your bath service to me in the future as well."
"As if. I let it slide just this once. There won't be a next time."
"Fufu... Who knows? I wonder if that will truly be the case."
Seeing her radiate shameless allure with that sly expression parched my throat, prompting me to chug down more alcohol in great gulps.
"Phew... Whatever. I have visitors today, right? How many?"
"A total of forty-six visitors are scheduled for today."
"Damn it, that's way too many..."
"Hang in there, Lord Han-gil. I will assist you."
"...Fine."
"Ah, shall we have breakfast first?"
"Not hungry."
"Worry not. I shall feed you myself."
"......"
If there was one thing Muriel harbored an inexplicable stubbornness about, it was meals. I quietly surrendered.
"...Ugh."
Right then, a mental dial tone echoed inside my head. Demon King Rubias was requesting a psychic connection.
"Tsk."
Dealing with her first thing in the morning was far too bothersome and exhausting, so I focused my mind and severed the prompt without a second thought. Surprisingly, Rubias didn't attempt to reconnect. Knowing her relentless obsession, it was hard to believe she had given up so easily, but perhaps she had used her spatial authority to peek at my situation and decided to show some rare consideration.
Shortly after finishing breakfast under Muriel's firm spoon-feeding, Wendy arrived—accompanied by Cecilia, who was stuck to her side like glue.
"What's going on?"
"Lord Alzen. Do you perhaps desire something else as a token of gratitude?"
"Huh? What brought this on? Did you give up on treating me to a meal?"
"No, that is not the case... but after discussing the matter with Lady Cecilia, we reached the conclusion that you must desire something else from me..."
"I'm curious how on earth you arrived at that conclusion."
Cecilia was the one who answered my question.
"Because you blatantly avoided Wendy's repayment, Lord Alzen! We figured there would be no reason to act like that unless you had something else in mind!"
"...I have no idea why your mind is so twisted, you little brat."
"Wh-What did you just call me?!"
Shaking my head at her sharp glare, I inhaled a long drag of cigarette smoke.
"Pheeew... I didn't blatantly avoid Wendy's repayment. I just teased her because it was funny. In fact, if you hadn't insisted on tagging along, Cecilia, I probably would've accepted her meal yesterday."
"...Is that true?"
"It's true. Probably."
"......"
A hollow chuckle slipped out at the narrow, deeply suspicious glare she shot me.
"A kid shouldn't be so needlessly distrusting. Take a page out of our Vivian's book."
"Wh-What kind of rude remark is that?! Besides, you're partly responsible for us reaching this conclusion, Lord Alzen!"
"What did I do?"
"You know what! Getting completely drunk, wearing that suspicious smirk, and casually dropping earth-shattering secrets with a totally deadpan face! Always speaking in cryptic riddles and outright lies! Acting like some grand mastermind behind the curtain! How could anyone not be suspicious?!"
"...Did I do that?"
I tilted my head, searching my memories, but nothing concrete came to mind. I gave an indifferent shrug.
"L-Look at that! See! Right there! That's exactly what I'm talking about!"
"Muriel. Do you have any idea what Cecilia is talking about?"
"Yes. Forgive me, but you do indeed possess such tendencies, Lord Alzen."
"Oh, really? Hmm..."
It was a remarkably novel perspective. Back when I lived as Kang Han-gil, not a single soul had ever described me that way. Then again, ever since landing in this world, I had been living pretty recklessly. And more often than not, I was completely hammered.
"...Well, if my attitude caused you worry, I suppose I should apologize. My bad, Cecilia."
"Oh, I didn't expect a straightforward apology..."
"That covers all future apologies as well, by the way. Because I have zero intention of changing my behavior."
"Whaaat?!"
Her voice cracked in sheer exasperation, before she collapsed into a defeated sigh.
"Haaah... Seriously. You are truly peculiar, Lord Alzen. I've never met anyone like you in my entire life."
"I've never met someone like you either."
"...Is that a compliment?"
"About half of it?"
"Grrr...!"
Fuming, she barely managed to rein in her temper before grabbing Wendy's hand with a prim, stubborn huff.
"Anyway, that means you have no ulterior motive, and you'll accept Wendy's meal, right? I'll consider the matter settled."
"Does that mean you won't be tagging along, Cecilia?"
"No? I'm definitely coming!"
"Then I'm not accepting."
"Why?! Is Wendy's body your real objective after all?!"
"Yep."
When I flashed a greasy grin and affirmed it without missing a beat, she was left utterly struck dumb, staring at me in bewildered shock.
"Lord Alzen. If my body suffices as repayment, anytime..."
"I told you no! Wendy! Didn't we agree you wouldn't say things like that anymore?!"
"However, Lady Cecilia. Shouldn't one provide what the recipient desires for it to count as repayment?"
"There are exceptions to everything!"
"...I have no particular intention of making an exception."
"Excuse me?!"
"That is simply how deeply grateful I am to Lord Alzen."
"Urk...!"
Confronted head-on by Wendy's terrifyingly sincere resolve, Cecilia shrank back, thoroughly overwhelmed.
"Oh. Looks like Cecilia lost. So does that make Wendy mine now?"
"Who belongs to you?! Don't even dream about it!"
Watching Cecilia throw a fit and stomp around was immensely entertaining.
"Lord Alzen. It is almost time..."
"Ah, right. You two should probably get going. This banter is fun and all, but I'm actually a bit busy."
"What? You're busy, Lord Alzen? Do you actually have work to do?"
"...Oho, dishing it right back at me? Bold, aren't we..."
"N-No, that's not what I meant! I was just genuinely curious!"
Lighting a fresh cigarette and blowing a ring of smoke, an amusing thought struck me. A grin crept across my face.
"I'm just handling the visitors. If you're that curious, want to sit in and watch?"
"Uh... me? Would that be alright?"
"Doesn't matter to me. It's not like it's top-secret state affairs... More than anything, wasn't your goal in coming here to figure out what kind of person I am? Am I wrong?"
"...Well, yes, that's true."
"Then this worked out great. Watch me work and you'll figure it out. Probably."
It was a somewhat impulsive suggestion, but there was no harm in it. Besides, if things got tedious, I could just pawn the work off on her—an absolute stroke of genius. In fact, most people would probably be thrilled to be received by the Saintess rather than a notorious delinquent like me.
"Mmh... Well, alright."
"Great. Muriel, bring in the first visitor."
"...Understood."
Muriel stared at my face for a quiet moment, but without voicing any objection, she moved to usher the visitors inside.