Field Test
We cleared the dungeon and got the relic we came for, so all that was left was to head home.
Or so I thought, until Weller sidled up to me with a deeply dissatisfied scowl, poked me in the ribs, and glared.
"Hey. What about us?"
"Huh? What are you on about all of a sudden?"
"The dungeon rewards, obviously. You took everything for yourself. Where's our share?"
"There isn't one."
"Look at this bastard. Why do you sound so proud of that? All you did the entire dungeon was chug booze and puff cigarettes."
"Whoa, hold on. What are you talking about? I acted as our mental resistance totem! If not for this, we couldn't have even cleared the dungeon."
Pulling out the Holy Guardian Fortress, I gave it a gentle waggle, which only made Weller narrow her eyes in pure irritation.
"Are you kidding me right now?"
"What's there to be so upset about? Didn't you follow along knowing all of this beforehand?"
"Even so, I didn't think you'd hog every single thing! Fine, say you leave me out, but shouldn't you at least take care of Vivian, Muriel, and Rebecca?!"
"...Do I really have to? Can't I just say experience is the greatest treasure of all?"
"You little sh— Do you honestly think that'll fly? How would you feel if someone told you that?"
"Hmm..."
I gave it a moment's thought. If I were Vivian, and my so-called older brother told me something like that after dragging me on a journey...
"If it were me, I'd beat him to death no matter what it took."
"Right? And besides, even putting Vivian aside, you're supposed to take care of your subordinates. Isn't that basic decency?"
"Subordinates? You mean Muriel and Rebecca?"
"Who else, you brainless little brother?"
"...Calling those two my subordinates is a bit of a stretch."
Muriel was essentially dispatched under Urtega's orders. Her top priority was still whatever Urtega commanded. My relationship with Rebecca was more horizontal, but just as businesslike. Even if she had ninety-nine free commissions left to fulfill for me, that didn't make her my subordinate.
"Haah... Just stop arguing and look after them. Listening to your big sister never hurts."
"...Mmm."
To be fair, boosting favorability on a personal level certainly wouldn't hurt. Those invisible stats always had a subtle way of swaying morale and enthusiasm.
"But I don't have anything to give them right now. The only relic from the dungeon is this set of rings."
I showed her the Absolute Ring Set, split between my hands—two on the right, one on the left. Weller's expression soured.
"Can't you just give them one each?"
"Then the relic's effect won't trigger. It only functions when all three are equipped as a set."
"Tsk, annoying... Then how about we dig up that tomb over there?"
"The tomb?"
I glanced toward the burial site deeper in the cave. There was a grand royal mausoleum surrounded by smaller burial mounds.
"You want to rob a grave? That can't be good for Vivian's moral development..."
"We just have to do it quietly. Tell Lira to take her outside the cave for a bit."
"...Sister. Was that your goal from the very beginning?"
"Don't go pinning ridiculous accusations on me. I'm purely trying to help you out of the goodness of my heart."
"Yeah, right. Good grief... Fine. It's not like it's difficult, so let's do it."
Her logic was somewhat persuasive, but to be honest, I was also genuinely intrigued. In the game, that cemetery was an indestructible, uninteractable piece of terrain. Now that this world was reality, what would happen?
"Oh, by the way, changing the subject for a second."
"Yeah?"
"Those rings really suit you. You look just like a trashy, nouveau-riche delinquent drenched in luxury and hedonism."
"...Gee, thanks for the compliment."
Weller smirked mischievously, her eyes curving up in sly amusement.
The grave robbing proceeded at a brisk pace. After sending Vivian outside with Lira, Weller used earth magic to sweep away all the soil and masonry in one clean sweep.
"Ugh, dammit..."
Naturally, there was a minor hiccup along the way. According to the lore, this site was the royal tomb of a kingdom that fell in the distant past; an ancient royal crypt was hardly going to be left defenseless against grave robbers. Weller took a bit of internal damage after triggering a hidden defensive ward and trap.
"Sister. You alright?"
"Phew... I'm fine. It's nothing serious, so you guys go see if there's anything useful."
I scrutinized her complexion, but seeing as it looked no different from usual, it really seemed to be minor.
"Drink a potion just in case, though."
"I heard you, so hurry up and search! Are you slacking off on purpose?"
"Can't even worry about you without getting nagged..."
Shaking my head, I took a hearty swig of alcohol and strolled leisurely toward the unearthed crypt.
"Lord Alzen. I have found an item that appears to be a relic."
"What? Really?"
Hearing Muriel's report as she searched ahead, I hurried over.
"Oho..."
What she held was a matched pair of twin daggers. Despite being buried for ages, they were in immaculate condition. However, I had no way of knowing what effects they possessed. It was an item I had never seen in the game or read about in the lore books.
So digging into world objects produces loot I've never seen before, huh? This was remarkably fresh and intriguing. Countless indestructible objects from the game flashed through my mind in a panoramic reel. Realistically, excavating every single one of them was out of the question, but it was a fascinating discovery worth keeping in mind.
"Hmm. What do you make of them?"
"I have no discernment for appraising relics, but judging by the mana radiating from them, they are undoubtedly extraordinary."
"Glad to hear it. It feels a bit sketchy to wield them as-is, so we'll need to have them appraised, but if there's no issue, they're yours."
"Pardon? Are you certain?"
"Yeah. We dug up this grave to find something for you guys in the first place."
"...Thank you, my lord."
As she took the daggers, the corners of Muriel's mouth curled upward ever so slightly. I suppose no frontline combatant could resist the allure of a new weapon.
"Lord Alzen! Please come over here! It's incredible!"
"Hm?"
A short distance away, Rebecca, who had pried open the central sarcophagus of the royal mausoleum, was waving her arm vigorously to call me over.
"What's going on?"
"It seems the occupant of this coffin held the highest status of all. There is an absolute mountain of precious metals and relics!"
"Let's see... Whoa."
Just as she said, the massive interior of the coffin was packed to the brim with gold bars, glittering gems, ornate accessories, and items that appeared to be relics. It looked just like a treasure chest. Right in the center lay a corpse tightly bound in pure white silk, but neither of us paid it any mind.
"This really is a jackpot... Hey, Sister! Get over here!"
"What's all the fuss about?"
Weller strolled over while shaking an empty potion vial, but the moment she peered inside the coffin, her eyes lit up.
"Oho...! This truly is an unbelievable haul!"
"Does anything stand out through a mage's eyes?"
"Obviously. Oh, that's perfect for Vivian's reward."
Picking up a pair of bracelets, she smiled with deep satisfaction.
"Mana pool expansion, magic power amplification, elemental power boost, mana regeneration... It's a top-tier relic loaded with all sorts of bonuses."
"A mage-exclusive relic, huh? Hmm. Then we should grab a sword too."
"What? Don't bother. She doesn't need a sword."
"Don't kid yourself. Vivian will probably like this sword way more than those bracelets."
I casually picked up a sword resting beside the corpse's head and brandished it. Weller's brows furrowed sharply.
"Stop talking nonsense. Vivian is destined to become a magnificent mage."
"We'll see about that once she lays eyes on it."
Shrugging, I jerked my chin toward Rebecca and Cacciola.
"You two pick out a suitable relic each, too."
"Wh-What?! N-No... I couldn't possibly accept! I accompanied you on a free commission in the first place!"
"For real?! Then I won't hold back!"
Their diametrically opposed reactions drew a laugh out of me.
"Rebecca, just take one. If you're going to carry out ninety-nine more commissions for me, you'll need at least one decent weapon."
"...Mmm. No. I still cannot accept."
"Stubborn as a mule, aren't you..."
Oh well. I could always hand one to her once they were all appraised.
"By the way, how are we supposed to haul all this stuff?"
"We'll manage somehow. Hire hands in the city, or contact the ducal house."
"...Don't tell me I have to carry luggage too?"
"Why ask when you already know the answer? I'll even pitch in this time, so show some enthusiasm!"
"Haah..."
As Weller smacked my back to urge me on, I sighed and took another heavy gulp of alcohol. Fortunately, I was spared the agony of manual labor. Among the uncovered treasures was a relic similar in nature to the Infinite Pouch. Seizing the opportunity, I dubbed it the Subspace Pouch and stuffed every last speck of gold, jewel, and relic right into it.
"Wait, you want me to wear this?"
To my surprise, Weller shoved the pouch into my hands. She had been acting so greedy about rewards just moments ago, so I couldn't fathom why she was entrusting it to me.
"Are you sure about this? What if I take the loot and run?"
"Pfft. You? Run away if you think you can."
"..."
Come to think of it, that was utterly impossible. I desperately needed the backing of the ducal house, meaning I could never afford to break away from House Stanasila. She couldn't have handed it over knowing that, right?
"Whew... Anyway, we got everything worth taking, right? Let's get out of here. The humidity in this place is driving my misery index through the roof."
"Tell me about it. My dress is completely ruined. Ugh..."
I stared dumbfoundedly at Weller as she grumbled over a smudge no bigger than a pinky fingernail on her hem, then shook my head and started walking.
By the way, when Vivian received both the bracelets and the sword as her reward, she jumped up and down in pure ecstasy.
With my spirits already high from the unexpected windfall, an even more delightful event presented itself.
"Man, that Zebran fellow really staked his entire life on this, didn't he?"
"Is this really the time to laugh? To me, this doesn't look like a situation we can take lightly."
"Heheh. Just sit back and watch."
Halfway down the Wyrm Mountains.
Looking around at the dozens of assassins encircling us, I flaunted the Absolute Ring Set on both hands. Conveniently enough, I needed a place to test them out anyway.