Wow, Look at Those Tits
It was only after extracting a firm promise that he would replace my Shadow Knight that we could finally sit down for a civilized conversation.
"Do you even comprehend the situation you are in right now?"
"Uh... my situation? Hmm... not really, no."
"...Allow me to explain." Urtega pressed a hand to his temple, speaking in a slow, measured cadence.
To sum it up, it basically boiled down to this:
Word of my so-called exploits had been spreading like wildfire both inside and outside the castle walls. Because those exploits were so bizarre and uncanny, people had inflated and distorted them beyond recognition, sending wild rumors rippling out to the neighboring territories. Among the common folk, I was being hailed as a prophet, an enlightened sage, a divine vessel, an avatar of god... and on and on. If you went solely by the gossip, I had already transcended mortal limits altogether.
"Haha, there isn't a single grain of truth in any of that."
"The problem is the Elixir."
"The Elixir?"
Gulp!
I tilted the bottle back, chugging straight from the mouth, before slumping limply against the seat. "Phew... But I never said a single word about any Elixir."
"That makes no difference. A man who knows history from centuries ago and can see right through the inner workings of a High Demon... People are whispering that you might know where the Elixir is hidden, or even how to brew it."
"Heh~"
When I let out a long, bored groan of complete indifference, Urtega's brow twitched.
"Whew... That is precisely why I assigned a Shadow Knight to you."
"Right, got it. Still, I can't stand rubbing shoulders with some grim-faced bloke, so send me a pretty girl instead. Big tits, fat ass."
"...Lay a finger on a Shadow Knight, and I will not let it slide."
"Hahaha! No need to worry about that. I'm completely done with that kind of dirty, debauched trash. I've washed my hands of it entirely."
Urtega wore an expression that said he didn't believe a word of it, but he gave a faint nod as if willing to let it slide for now.
"At any rate, refrain from going outside for the time being."
"Naturally~ I was planning on doing just that anyway. I suffered so much this time that my whole body's aching."
"...Aljen. So, do you know the whereabouts of the Elixir?"
"Of course. I know."
When I answered instantly without a shred of hesitation, his penetrating gaze bore deep into me. I merely smirked back, studying his reaction.
"...I will pretend I didn't hear that. You may leave."
"Aigoo, thank you for your hard work. Your worthless son will take his leave now~"
I strolled out of the office with insolent, swaggering steps, instantly met by the barrage of stares from the numerous retainers waiting outside. Suspicion, vigilance, doubt, wariness, respect, favor... Feeling their eyes prickling all over me, I let out a dry smirk.
"Lord Aljen. In this battle, truly..."
"Excellent work, Lord Aljen."
"Lord Aljen, perhaps you would join me for a meal later..."
"Alright, alright~ out of the way, everyone. I plan to head back to my room, drink myself silly, and pass out. Ah, maybe I shouldn't be saying that in front of all of you working so hard for the ducal house, huh? Heheheh..."
Pushing my way past them with a swagger, I leisurely made my way back to my quarters. Sprawled on the sofa, killing time with booze and a cigarette, a shadowy silhouette smoothly rose from beneath the table, kneeling prostrate on the floor.
"Hmm...? Did I drink too much?"
"I am Muriel. I have been assigned to protect and attend to Lord Stanashila Aljen."
"Ah, the Shadow Knight. Hmmm..."
I widened my bleary eyes and scanned her from top to bottom.
Deep navy hair and navy eyes that shone like the predawn sky. Clear, defined features that radiated overwhelming sensuality despite her emotionless expression. And on top of that, a figure boasting curves so steep my jaw practically dropped.
"Holy shit, look at those tits."
"......"
An exclamation blurted out of my mouth before I could stop it.
She's walking around with twin peaks bigger than her head... and to top it off, her hips are as round and plump as a full moon... Can someone with a body like that even function as a Shadow Knight?
"Are you seriously a Shadow Knight?"
"Yes."
"Really? What was your rank?"
"...I was ranked first."
"Oho. Then you must've slaughtered plenty of comrades you broke bread with."
The corner of her eye twitched slightly. Her face practically screamed, How could you possibly know that? Still, damn, those eyelashes were ridiculously long and dense, like velvet curtains.
"Well, not that it matters... You said your name was Muriel? First off... huh?"
Since I couldn't take my eyes off her face and body, she seemed to have misunderstood something. Springing to her feet, she stripped stark naked right then and there without a word of warning.
"...Damn."
This wasn't what I had asked for, but I certainly didn't look away. The dizzying, sharp curves honed to the absolute limit kept dragging my eyes up and down. The scars etched across her body, large and small, stood out all the more against her healthy skin and taut muscles, but to me, they didn't look like flaws at all. If anything, they made her hotter.
And there wasn't a single hair in sight down there... Was she naturally like that? Or did she shave it herself?
"You may take me as you please without worrying about heirs."
Snapped back to reality by her voice, I met her gaze.
"...Did my father permit this?"
"I merely do whatever is necessary to fulfill my mission."
"Hmph...?"
I caught a faint trace of evasion in her tone. There was no way the old man would have approved something like this, meaning this was entirely her own initiative... What the hell was she thinking?
"Right, well... put your clothes back on for now."
"...? Understood."
Though her face stayed blank, a subtle hint of confusion lingered as she put her clothes back on.
"Do you usually stand by in the shadows?"
"That is correct."
"Mmm, nah, that's no fun... From now on, show up in a maid uniform."
"Pardon...?"
"You said your mission is protection and attendance. Then that makes far more sense."
"...Understood."
I couldn't claim I was entirely free of personal desires. Booze poured by a stunning beauty would definitely taste better, after all.
Having promptly changed into a maid uniform, Muriel stayed glued to my side from that moment on.
"Khh... Quite a feast for the eyes."
"...Thank you."
Even though it was the exact same uniform the other maids wore, the fit was on an entirely different level on her. Just taking in her captivating beauty and steep curves was enough to make the alcohol slide down effortlessly.
Gulp, gulp!
Using her as my side dish, I kept the bottleneck jammed between my lips for a while before exhaling hot breath and trying to steady my spinning head.
"Phew... But if you're guarding and serving me all by yourself, when do you sleep?"
"You need not worry, as I can obtain sufficient sleep whenever opportunity permits."
"...What does that even mean? How?"
"I am capable of sleeping with my eyes open. Alternatively, through a state of half-sleep, I can rest while maintaining conscious awareness."
"......"
"I have been trained to detect presence and react even while asleep, so I can assure you there will be no lapses in your security."
"Just lie down and sleep like a normal person when you need to."
"I cannot do that. Protecting and attending to Lord Aljen is my duty."
"Fine, whatever... if you say so."
Gulp.
Downing another swig, I tossed a few snacks into my mouth.
"Oh, right. How strong are you?"
"While it cannot be measured with absolute precision, under the standard classification for knights, I fall into the category of a Top-Grade Aura User."
"Oho..."
The tier right below Sword Master... The old man actually put some real thought into this.
"Nice. Let's get along well from now on. Though you probably won't have much to do."
"Yes. I look forward to serving you."
I took a sip of liquor as I watched her bow politely. Outwardly, she was here for protection and service, but gathering intel on me and keeping me under surveillance were undoubtedly part of her assignment as well.
"......"
I didn't have the slightest intention of trying to hide anything at this point and would just keep acting like I always did, but it still didn't leave a great taste in my mouth.
Believe it or not, I was actually a rather busy man.
Though I spent the entire day stumbling around with liquor in one hand and a cigarette in the other, my mind was constantly digging through every bit of lore and storyline, calculating events that would unfold in the future.
...Honestly, even if someone called it pure delusion, I wouldn't have an argument.
With the ducal house completely intact when it was originally supposed to fall, and Urtega having stepped into the realm of a demigod, the future was veiled behind a thick shroud where I couldn't see an inch ahead. Combat-wise, it was impossible for me to do anything myself, so I'd been brainstorming various ways to support and buff the protagonist... but frankly, I didn't know if it was even feasible.
Because the game known as Origin World had a notoriously steep difficulty curve.
The overarching scenario was about as simple as it gets: a Hero chosen by the Holy Sword gathers five divine relics and uses their power to slay the Demon God. But the journey itself was brutal. I felt that way even when playing it as a game; now I had to guide an oblivious real-world Hero all the way to the Demon God and have him finish the job... and do it without even being able to predict the future... Tsk, was this actually possible?
A suffocating frustration welled up inside me.
To kill the Demon God, the Holy Sword was an absolute prerequisite. If there had been any means of destroying the Demon God other than the Holy Sword, I could have put together an optimal clearing build even in this trash body of Stanashila Aljen. With the ducal house backing me now, it wouldn't have been all that difficult either.
Unfortunately, however, only the protagonist could wield the Holy Sword.
"Haa..."
I might have to resign myself to death and regression a few times. Yeah, a few times. But what if the count climbed into dozens, or hundreds...?
"...Dammit."
Seized by helplessness and sheer weariness, I guzzled down the booze.
"......"
Muriel stared intently at me. With her dense navy lashes lowered like curtains and her expression utterly blank, she looked just like a doll. Well, she was gorgeous, and that alone was plenty.
"Muriel. Come pour me a drink."
"Yes, Lord Aljen."
The moment the order left my mouth, she moved to sit beside me and poured the liquor with neat, disciplined motions.
"Oh, nice."
Drinking from a glass instead of swigging straight from the bottle for the first time in a while somehow made the liquor taste completely different. Is this the power of an unrivaled beauty? Swapping my Shadow Knight was truly the best decision I'd ever made.
"Phew..."
Draining the glass in one gulp, I felt the room tilt and leaned back against the cushions.
"......"
In truth, throwing a tantrum at Urtega to give me a pretty female Shadow Knight had only been half-serious. The other half was just wanting to land a petty strike on the old man for trying to keep tabs on me.
"Shall I pour another glass?"
"Yeah. Please do."
"Yes."
Glug, glug.
Pressing so close her shoulder brushed mine, she tilted the bottle with a polite, deferential posture. Her subtle body warmth seeped through her clothes alongside a pleasant fragrance.
"......"
I only realized it once she was right in front of me, but an "overwhelming beauty" seemed to inherently possess the power to soothe the mind and relieve stress. My body felt strangely warm, endorphins pumping through me... Could this be Stanashila Aljen's body reacting on its own?
Whatever the reason, being able to enjoy my drinks more was a blessing, but I didn't have the slightest intention of touching her. If some slip-up led to an accidental pregnancy, I knew I wouldn't be able to bear it. A child born from this body wouldn't be mine; it would be Stanashila Aljen's child.
Living someone else's life was already suffocating enough, and now I'd have to raise another man's kid? Plainly speaking, that would be nothing short of pure hell.
"......"
My mood turned completely foul in an instant.
Knock, knock!
Just then, a crisp, vigorous knock echoed through the room.
"...Who—"
"Who is it? Please state your name." Before I could even get the word out, Muriel politely excused herself and rose to her feet.
"......"
The more I looked at her, the more I liked her.
From beyond the door came a deep, dignified voice carrying the weight of years.
"I am Butler Billette. By order of Lord Stanashila Berga, I have come to escort Lord Stanashila Aljen."
At those words, Muriel turned her head toward me.
"......"
A grimace twisted my face at the immediate wave of annoyance, but I gave a brief nod toward the door. Catching on swiftly, Muriel opened it. Stepping inside, Billette bowed his head the moment his eyes fell on me.
"Greetings to Lord Stanashila Aljen."
"Right... My brother summoned me?"
"That is correct."
"Where to? And why is he calling for me?"
"I was merely ordered to escort Lord Stanashila Aljen."
"Haa... Seriously, why drag people back and forth like this?" After a moment's thought, I jerked my chin toward Billette. "Tell him I'm not going."
"P-Pardon?"
"I said tell him I'm not going."
"W-Well, uh... Understood. Then..." Bowing respectfully, the butler exited the room with measured, orderly steps.
Muriel, who had maintained an impeccably poised posture the entire time, offered a slight bow to see him off with proper decorum.
"Phew... Muriel. Sit back down and pour me another drink."
"Yes, Lord Aljen."
As I went back to enjoying my drink, it wasn't long before another knock sounded at the door. When Muriel moved to excuse herself and stand, I shook my head.
"Who is it?"
"I am Quino, adjutant to Lord Stanashila Berga."
"What are you here for?"
"By order of Lord Stanashila Berga, I have come to escort Lord Stanashila Aljen."
"Haa... What's this about?"
"...He wishes to speak with you regarding the information you possess, Lord Aljen."
"Aigoo... Tell him I don't know either. Tell him it just popped into my head out of nowhere one day. Satisfied? Now get lost."
"Th-That... ah, understood."
Quino hesitated behind the door for a second, seemingly about to turn around, before calling out once more.
"Lord Stanashila Aljen."
"What now?"
"Thank you. Thanks to you, Lord Aljen, my hometown was spared."
"...What kind of nonsense is that now?"
"Had the ducal house been overrun by those wicked demons and fallen, my hometown within the territory wouldn't have survived either. Just as you once told me, Lord Aljen, it would have met a horrific end. Therefore, to our village, you are nothing short of a hero who saved us."
"Spinning bullshit is a genuine art form for you, huh. Cut the crap and go deliver the message."
"...Heh. Yes, understood."
I sighed as Quino's footsteps, which sounded deliberately loud, gradually faded into the distance.
A short while later.
"Excuse the intrusion, Aljen."
"Insolent brat. Did you really have to make us come all the way here?"
In the end, the eldest son had come himself.
And for some reason, the second daughter as well.
"Aargh..."
I pressed a hand to my forehead as a throbbing headache hit me, as if foretelling the disaster to come.