Settling the Spoils
Lampon Pashtra was the first to break the heavy silence that hung over the room, the sudden and frantic shift in events still leaving her bewildered.
"Wh-what on earth just happened...?"
"Exactly what you saw and heard."
"...I don't understand. Please explain it to me."
I stared into her earnest, pleading face. Must be that barbarian blood of hers. Even if she couldn't wrap her head around the specifics, her instincts told her just how momentous this was.
"Seven hundred years ago. When your ancestors stood at death's door, they had no regrets about how they'd lived their lives, but they harbored a single lingering sorrow and worry."
"......"
Looking down at her wide, innocent eyes—like a child hanging on every word of a bedtime story—I caught myself absentmindedly patting her head.
"......"
Had spending so much time wrangling the kids turned this into an automatic habit? Well, she didn't seem to mind, so it was fine.
"That worry concerned an evil, depraved lich they hadn't managed to destroy. A madman who believed every living creature in this world was born solely to serve as his test subject."
"That monster we just killed?"
"Yeah. Didn't look like much of one, did he? That was only because I rattled him and drove him into a frenzy. When a person gets blinded by rage, they lose their cool."
"...Incredible."
"I wouldn't go that far... Anyway, at the end of their lives, your ancestors resolved to lay that lingering regret to rest. They offered their flesh and souls to Kubel, the Beast God, and in return, secured a promise to eradicate the future threat."
"Then that wolf just now was...?"
"Probably not Kubel himself. But certainly one of the divine beasts under his command."
"Then why did it only appear now?"
"Because a single divine beast couldn't kill that lich on its own. So your ancestors made their own preparations—even if it meant leaving the execution to their descendants."
When I hoisted the staff, Pashtra's eyes widened.
"Under normal circumstances, you were supposed to drive this weapon straight into the lich's body to incapacitate him. Then Kubel's divine beast would step in to deliver the finishing blow."
"I see...!"
"However, if you can kill him once without using the staff, you can force that opening wide open yourself. And that's what you just witnessed."
"So that's how it was."
Nodding in awe, she suddenly began to shed fat, heavy tears.
"...What's with the waterworks all of a sudden?"
"N-no... Huh? Ahaha. What is wrong with me...? I'm not even sad; I'm actually happy... but the tears won't stop."
Watching her sob silently while grinning like a lunatic was honestly a little unnerving.
"...Lord Alzen. I'm certain now. I think... I can do it now."
"Do what?"
"I think I can finally take a step forward. I think I can plunge headfirst into the wide world. Just like my ancestors did... so can I."
"...Not bad."
So she was finally becoming an adventurer, then. It was a familiar trajectory from the game, so I simply nodded along.
In Origin World, clearing the dungeon naturally boosted her affection, but unless you selected her as your heroine, she ended up taking off as an adventurer, roaming the four corners of the continent.
...Though to be honest, I doubted more than a handful of players ever passed up making her a heroine. Those colossal breasts and hips exerted a terrifying gravity even through a computer monitor. Not even hardcore, multi-clear veterans were immune.
"An adventurer, huh... Need anything? Gold, gear, artifacts. Name it, and I'll sponsor you. Connections with top-tier talent are forged at times like this, after all."
"Pardon? An adventurer? What are you talking about?"
"Huh? What do you mean, what am I talking about? Weren't you just saying you wanted to become an adventurer?"
"That sounds very tempting, but I have no intention of doing that right now."
"What?"
I blinked dumbly at her.
"You're not becoming an adventurer?"
"Nope."
"Then what are you going to do?"
"Why, obviously..."
Flushing shyly, she reached out and gently clasped my hand.
"I have to follow you."
"...??"
My brain stalled out, unable to compute the situation.
"Follow me? Why?"
"Oh, honestly... Didn't you say you would guide me?"
"...Well, yes, I suppose I did."
"Was that a lie?"
"It wasn't a lie. I really did guide you here, didn't I?"
"Fufu, that's true. So please take good care of me from now on as well."
"Uh... wait, that didn't mean I was going to keep guiding you indefinitely... Don't you want to travel? Don't you want to become an adventurer, braving trials and tribulations on heart-pounding quests?"
"If I follow you, I have a feeling I'll experience all of that whether I want to or not. Just like today."
"......"
I had zero intention of doing any such thing, but I couldn't outright deny her either. Defeating the Demon God was my ultimate objective, which meant more unwanted adventures like this were practically guaranteed down the line.
"...Look, I'm fundamentally a guy who wants nothing to do with adventure. My idea of heaven on earth is holing up in my room all day, knocking back booze, and puffing on cigarettes... If you follow me around, it's going to be boring as hell."
"Then I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. Even if I end up regretting it, I want it to be my own choice to regret. Besides, it's not like I hate being lazy, you know? I've spent my whole life grinding away at hard labor... Lounging around in bed all day is actually one of my lifelong dreams."
"Fair point..."
I nodded in defeat. She had shouldered all the village chores and defense duties by herself, so her life had been one long string of grueling toil. How she'd endured it without throwing in the towel long ago was a mystery. I wouldn't have lasted a single day in her shoes.
"A-and... ahem. Wouldn't you regret letting me slip away, Lord Alzen? To be honest, I noticed, you know... That, um, heated gaze of yours devouring my body."
Assuming a bashful pose that was nonetheless brimming with absolute confidence, she deliberately thrust out her chest and arched her hips back.
"......"
Well, she wasn't wrong. It'd be an absolute crime to let someone else have all that.
...Come to think of it, both in the game and here in reality, this girl had a sneaky habit of deploying the honey trap. She knew full well what kind of firepower those massive knockers packed.
"...Fine. If that's what you want. Suit yourself."
And just like that, completely mesmerized, I ended up nodding my approval.
"Yay! Thank you so much! Please take good care of me!"
She threw herself forward in a crushing embrace, burying her face into the crook of my neck.
"...Whoa."
An involuntary gasp slipped past my lips at the sheer, overwhelming mass flattening against my chest. There was simply no resisting that kind of weight and texture. Muriel and Rebecca were boring holes into the back of my skull with their glares, but I did my best to pretend I didn't notice.
"Ahem. Well then... time to start gathering our loot."
With the boss dead, it was time to check the spoils. Honestly, I had high hopes. As a dungeon unlocked at the end of an extensive quest chain, its first-clear rewards had been extraordinarily lucrative in the game.
Brushing aside the ashes where Hegellina Krenkel had perished, my fingers closed around a plain, narrow ring barely large enough to fit on a pinky.
"Let's see here..."
Channeling mana into it, I focused my mind as if activating an artifact. Though my mana pool was pitifully small, the Key to Hegellina Krenkel's Storeroom functioned without a hitch.
Zziiing—
A thin crimson beam traced along the laboratory wall, etching borders before drawing a complex geometric pattern.
Rrrrrrrumble! Clack-clack-clank!
Once the full sequence was drawn, a pale light flashed, and the solid wall split down the middle, parting smoothly to the left and right.
"Ooh..."
What lay revealed was an enormous vault. Organized meticulously by category, weight, and volume, the treasure trove bore the unmistakable hallmarks of its master's compulsive, germaphobic obsession.
"...I had high expectations, but damn. This is a jackpot."
Stepping inside first, I let out a breathless chuckle at the staggering collection of relics and artifacts filling the room.
In Origin World, dungeons were notoriously stingy with rewards. Typically, as with the Bottom of Rancor, a player could only hope for one or two top-tier relics per run. And even then, low drop rates meant grinding the same dungeon repeatedly was standard practice.
From a game design perspective, that was only natural. If a single dungeon dumped every high-end prize on you at once, players would have zero reason to explore the rest of the world. Leveling up was easy enough through main quests and field grinding anyway.
Hegellina Krenkel's Sealed Laboratory had followed the same principle. While it offered far more high-tier loot than average because of its prerequisite quest chain, securing the full set still required multiple playthroughs.
Yet the sight before me laid bare the glorious discrepancy between game mechanics and reality.
Three radiant Legendary Grade relics. Six Unique Grade relics. Dozens of lower-tier artifacts, along with heaps of rare crafting materials and consumable items stacked in orderly piles.
Looking at all this, one might almost wonder if we could scrap our remaining schedule and march straight into the Great Forest.
...Not that I'd actually be stupid enough to try. Without airtight preparation, someone would end up dying, no question about it.
"Whoaaa! What is all this?! Don't tell me these are relics and artifacts from the Mythic Era?!"
Weller's eyes practically blazed with naked greed as she drank in the treasure vault.
"This is..."
"A truly magnificent sight."
"Now I understand why adventurers risk life and limb seeking undiscovered dungeons..."
While less unhinged than Weller, the rest of the party examined the vault with visible awe and excitement.
"Alright, alright, eyes on me."
Clap, clap. I clapped my hands, pulling everyone's attention away from the shelves.
"I'm going to distribute the spoils as I see fit... Anyone got a problem with that?"
Most of them shook their heads, exchanged cautious glances, or offered wry, accepting nods.
"I have an objection."
Naturally, our dear Stanashila Weller couldn't let it slide without a fuss. Chin jutted out arrogantly, she crossed her arms and glared at me.
"And what might your complaint be?"
"I admit your contribution was massive. But clearing this dungeon was only possible because we had Master Ranks on our side, wasn't it? Therefore, it's only right to give the Master Ranks first pick."
"Hoh? Making a surprisingly fair and reasonable point, are we?"
"...Are you trying to pick a fight?"
"About fifty-fifty."
Chuckling, I waved a dismissive hand.
"Then if the Master Ranks waive their first pick to me, problem solved. What do you say?"
I glanced toward Muriel, Rebecca, and Nazareth Nemeth. The three women exchanged brief looks before nodding in unison.
"I have no objection. Please choose as you see fit, Lord Alzen."
"The same goes for me. Finding this dungeon and clearing it was largely thanks to Lord Alzen, after all..."
Nodding at Muriel and Rebecca's answers, I turned to Nemeth, who had yet to speak.
"...I trust you will make the best choice to resolve my situation. I will respect your decision."
"Oho. Built up that much trust already? Flattering."
Grinning, I turned and strode toward the shelf displaying the Legendary relics in all their glory.
"Let's see. First up..."
The moment I reached out a hand, a bizarre, suffocating pressure froze me in my tracks.
"...?"
Glancing over my shoulder, I found every single member of the party staring holes through me, watching my every movement like hawks.
...They'd talked a humble game, but apparently, the itch for shiny new gear was universal.
With a wry chuckle and a shake of my head, I bypassed the Legendary relics... and reached down to pull out a heavy wooden crate stacked beneath the bottom shelf.
"Huh? What's that? I can feel an ominous magic radiating from it..."
Ignoring Weller's question, I flashed a wicked grin and pried the lid open.
Squirm! Writhing and undulating!
"Ugh?!"
"Wh-what is that?!"
Packed tight inside the box was a mass of dark, ominously pulsing flesh.
"Here you go. This is the very first reward for all of you."
"...?"
"......"
At my announcement, the expressions across the entire room twisted into sheer, horrified disbelief.