Chapter 107
Chapter 107
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Translator: Vine
Chapter: 107
Chapter Title: Suicide Isn't a Good Method
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"Watch me never go anywhere without Raphael again."
[Haven't you ever thought that someone who can't fight without help might have a problem, nya?]
"Raphael can't fight either. I can't fight without her, and we're a burger combo. I'm the burger, and Raphael's the cola."
[So what's Levatein, french fries, nya?]
I nodded at Lachesis's question. French fries are important. Can't have a combo without them.
"And without Raphael, I'll never summon this damn demon again."
「That's a bit hurtful.」
Look at that tone. Hot and cold—it'll drive you crazy. The second she gets the upper hand, she slips into that cutesy 'Master' bit. Is that a maid for you?
No way. We're settling this when we get back—you were way too cheeky today.
"Sigh."
I didn't even have the energy to snap at Lily anymore and just kept walking. Lily had already hopped off my back and was walking beside me. Her outfit had switched back to the maid uniform too.
[Why'd you go and do something nobody asked for, nya?]
"What if I hadn't delivered the ring? She'd either pick a fight with Isia or come after me. Better to just hand it over."
I'm exhausted. After that, we ran all over the sewers picking up those rings. I thought wrangling the out-of-control ragdolls would be the death of me.
But I got the rings, took care of all the ragdolls, and even bagged the progenitor. Good results mean it's all good.
Fatigue? I'll crash at home and sleep it off.
I hadn't walked far when the dorm came into view, so I stashed Lily in my [Inventory] and took it slow. The sun was dipping low.
"Today was brutal."
Tomorrow, I'm doing absolutely nothing. I risked my life too many times. Especially that progenitor.
Luckily, that progenitor was a total idiot. If it had fought with even a shred of brains, I'd be dead a hundred times over.
Instant death on contact, tough as nails vitality, and it spams insane magic?
I never would've beaten it normally. But it was stupid. Arrogant from its overwhelming powers, too.
It just ignored everything I did and charged straight in, making it impossible to lose.
[Even half of Silvia's intelligence would've meant defeat, nya.]
I know. Quiet. A win's a win.
That thing probably never imagined a human could kill it. Progenitors don't go down easy.
[Without me, you'd be dead a hundred times, nya.]
Thanks a lot. Bickering with this damn cat brought me right to my door before I knew it.
The dorm room that now felt completely like home. I quietly swiped my keycard and slipped inside.
The door was louder than expected—I flinched. I crouched low, holding my breath to sneak in.
Why act like a burglar in my own place? Obviously because—
"You're back."
[You're home!!]
Because of these two. Ugh. I tried so hard not to get caught, and they spot me instantly. Depressing.
I looked up to see the blonde cradling the little blonde, gazing down at me. The little one looked pitiful too.
What is this? Why am I the husband sneaking home late from drinks?
"Did you have fun?"
[Fun?!]
"What is this, an interrogation?"
I could just say I don't remember. But why am I breaking out in cold sweat? Is this what it feels like for a guy caught coming home late from the bar?!
We aren't even married yet—isn't this too soon?!
"You even ditched me mid-mission for Lily—must've had a blast. Bet you ate something tasty too, huh? Meanwhile, Levatein and I starved all day!!"
"Can't you just cook...?"
"Don't talk back!! What makes you think you're off the hook!!"
What did I even do wrong? I glanced at the cat for backup, but she shook her head. Then she pondered, leaped, and landed on Raphael's shoulder.
She's Team Me. Or so it seemed.
The world's so unfair. They say dads have no allies at home, and it's true. Daughter and pet cat, both siding with Mom.
This is ridiculous. I pulled out the one guy who might take my side from my [Inventory].
The moment Lily emerged, she shot me and Raphael a glare—
「Lady Raphael. I wanted to cook for you, but I was summoned away.」
"It's okay. Don't worry. That trash—no, Seong-hoon—will buy dinner!!"
And just like that, she sided with Raphael. Real maids, daughters, pets—no one you can trust.
"Raphael. I was literally brushing death today. Nearly died. So—"
"We nearly died too!!"
[Starving to death!! Give us food!!]
Half a day without food won't kill you. I swallowed the words rising in my throat.
Saying that now would put me in a bad spot.
"What do you want?"
The answer came instantly.
"Pizza!!"
[Chicken!!]
[Burger, nya.]
「Souls.」
Okay. Everything but souls—order it up.
That's what I wanted to say, but there was one big problem.
"Raphael."
"Yeah? Should I order now? I finally figured out this delivery app!!"
"Lily blew through all our house money."
She froze.
Raphael stiffened at my words. She was beaming a second ago—now that expression is even scarier.
Raphael turned to look behind her. Lily backed away. She shook her head, but yeah, Lily spent it.
「I-I did it for the comfort of the household—」
"This house is comfortable when my stomach's full!!"
Aaaahhh!!
I whipped out my phone to contact Isia amid the demon's echoing shriek.
[Ordered it.]
I fired back a reply right away. My maid's so efficient—love that.
[OK]
[Your replies are too short.]
[Thanks.]
This counts as long, right?
[...Cancelling the order.]
[I deeply respect our Head Maid Isia. I love how quick and reliable you are.]
Close call. Nearly got booted by Raphael. But why no reply?
She was instant before—now over 30 seconds and nothing.
I waited, wondering, and then the phone rang.
"What?"
I picked up. Caller ID: Isia. But no response.
Prank call? That's what I thought when I heard—
—Kyaaahhh!! So cuuute!!! Wh-what do I reply?!
"Hey. What're you doing?"
No answer. Wait, is she...?
—C-calm down. Isia, calm. Ahem. First, pick up the phone. No, wait. Steady your heart. Yeah. Tosuni. Tosuni, what do I say? You don't know either?! Me neither!!
"....."
What the hell? Looks like I dialed wrong. And she dropped her phone somewhere—
It was too entertaining to interrupt, so I stayed quiet.
—Uwaaaah. Calm. Deep breaths. Hoo haa. Hoo haa.
Isn't that Lamaze breathing? Not for you, dummy.
—Where's my phone? Phone? Here. Yeah, heeere...?
Ah, she found it. Levatein trotted up just then, so I scooped her up and spoke.
"Hi?"
[Hewwo?]
Shh.
I pressed a finger to my lips, and Levatein mimicked me with a nod. So cute when she grins—I petted her head.
—......
"Answer when someone talks to you. You called me."
—No way......?
Whoa. Hold up. That clattering—is she shaking so bad it's rattling? This is gold.
—Did you... hear everything?
"Pretty much. See you Monday? Suicide isn't a good method."
—Ah.
A soft sigh. Short pause. Then one sound.
—Aaaaaaaaahhh!!!!
A shriek that pierced my eardrums. Call dropped.
I rubbed my ringing ear and fiddled with my phone. Levatein pawed at my hand, wanting to see, so I hugged her and we peeked together.
[Talk it over with Tosuni. No need to go that far.]
No reply. Read, but no response.
[Daddy. What's Tosuni?]
"Sounds like her bunny doll?"
[Doll?! I want one too!!]
"I'll get you one next time."
[Really?!]
Levatein threw her arms up and hugged me, rubbing her cheek against mine. Is this what raising a daughter feels like?
Something inside me was melting. No way I'd lose—I stroked her head back, then sent Isia one more text.
But an unexpected screen greeted me.
[Blocked contact.]
"Well, damn."
Wonder if we'll meet Monday. Should I call? Then the bell rang.
—It's here!!!!!!!!!!
Hearing the distant cheer, I scooped up Levatein and headed to the living room.
Stomach was growling anyway. She won't actually off herself. Probably.
"So good!! Delivery food after half a day—this is heavenly!! Sweeter than the fruit of knowledge!!"
"You can't say that!!"
"I'd have scarfed the fruit down instead of pizza!!"
"That means you're quitting as an angel, got it?! "
"Mohaho!!"
"Swallow first!!"
Raphael gulped down her mouthful at my shout and grinned.
"You wouldn't get it, Seong-hoon. Heaven Realm food is disgusting. No seasoning at all. God just eats ramen every day. Oh, I snuck some too."
Bragging. I wiped Levatein's messy mouth while she ate. She insists on sitting in my lap even with her own seat.
Means I barely get to eat. Shouldn't Raphael be doing this?!
I glared with that sentiment, but she was too busy stuffing her face. Cat and demon were inhaling theirs next to us.
"Lily."
「Yes.」
Stop eating when you talk. I sighed and asked.
"Don't demons not need to eat?"
「By that logic, swords and cats don't either.」
Fair. I glanced at Levatein. She tilted her head.
Asking why she eats here would get a 'Cuz tasty!' so I skipped it.
She doesn't need to, but it's yummy, so she does.
Amid these maniacs—not just scarfing, but vacuuming—their food, I slowly ate a slice of pizza.
Levatein kept dropping bits, so I plated and cut hers. Fork helps—she spills less.
Nice. Do it this way from now on. She beamed like she approved.
In this chaotic dinner of delivery food despite having a maid, I checked my phone.
A text had come in.
[Photo.]
[Ate it. Sorry. And thanks.]
Sender: Sophia. Just a pic of her sipping a blood pack—did she have to send proof?
'Ate it' would've sufficed. And her outfit? Total exposure—shirt only, no face, just lips.
No way I'd show Levatein.
[Why the photo?]
[Proof.]
[Not needed.]
Now a tongue-out selfie. Arguing more would just spam pics, so I ignored.
She drank the blood pack, went down fine—that's what matters. Her being stupid pretty is separate.
"Seong-hoon, games after we finish. No fighting today—FPS."
"You win those too. Pass. Doing that puzzle with Levatein from last time."
"Eh? We finished that!!"
"Different one."
I asked if there was, and Levatein nodded with a fork in her mouth.
See? There is.
"Grrr!! Ignore it all day then back at it?! No way. Unacceptable. Game with me today. No. Absolutely not."
"Yes."
"No!!!"
[Daddy. Play with Mommy. I'll play with Lily.]
Who's the kid here? Seriously.