Anxiety and Happiness
The professor ordered them, “Calm Yoo Ji-min’s agitation and make sure you escort him home together.”
“Yes, Professor.”
The professor who had dragged me outside the auditorium dumped the cleanup on Ha-eun and Nam Yeon-woo before turning back.
“Senior… let’s get you treated first….”
“Y-yeah, that’s right! You’re bleeding a ton right now….”
During the last rank match I barely had any wounds, so I skipped the infirmary. This time, though, the bleeding was noticeable enough that I figured it was smarter to go.
“You bastard! You’re the one who bit me and caused this! Why are you pretending to worry?”
“It wasn’t me, it was Mochi….”
“What?”
“Ah… never mind… sorry….”
This guy really is ridiculously timid no matter what. Still, thanks to him my head felt a little cooler.
“Forget it… Anyway, thanks for stopping me. I got too heated myself… If I’d actually caused a real incident I would’ve been disciplined.”
“No… I’m the one who should thank you….”
“Ha-eun, I’m always grateful to you.”
“Not at all. Hehe….”
Honestly, the moment Yeon-woo started getting cursed at, my emotions surged and I went off harder than I meant to.
Do I regret it?
Fuck that. As if!
Those shitty cadet bastards! From now on I absolutely refuse to endure any more insults or harassment. Even if it kills me, I will never bow again!!!
With that, I headed to the treatment room with the others.
On the way, Nam Yeon-woo spoke in a voice so small only I could hear.
“U-um, but you know, Ji-min….”
“Yeah? What?”
“Is… is that junior… your girlfriend…?”
“…….”
Aah. Girlfriend, huh….
Was he asking whether Ha-eun and I were dating? Whether we loved each other? That was the question Nam Yeon-woo was really asking?
Without realizing it, the corners of my mouth began to rise. Just hearing the question sent my happiness rocketing straight up.
But I needed to stay calm.
Sure, we ate lunch together every single day. Yesterday she had straight-up asked me on a date. Last week we had even kissed (and it wasn’t just a peck).
I desperately held down my twitching lips and answered as coolly as I could.
“No. We’re not like that.”
“Huh? Why?”
Nam Yeon-woo’s eyes widened in genuine confusion.
Why? Wasn’t it weirder that he even had to ask?
“You’re together every day, so I assumed you were dating.”
“……We’re still not.”
“I see….”
Together every day. I never knew those words could tickle my heart so much.
“Seniors, what are you talking about…?”
“Huh? Ah, it’s nothing.”
“Ah… okay….”
We reached the treatment room anyway.
The moment the door opened, a completely different scene from the usual infirmary greeted me. Multiple beds were lined up, and the cadets who had fought in the rank match were receiving treatment.
I waited a moment before meeting one of the high-rank healers stationed at the academy.
“Is it you?”
“Yes?”
“The one who sent that Kwon Si-hoo kid with major injuries last time. That was you, right?”
“Ah… yes….”
Was she going to lecture me for going too far again? Whether it was this person or that one, they never said a word while I was the one suffering, but the second the roles reversed they started bitching. It pissed me off.
“Do you know how many days’ worth of mana I’ve wasted because of that bastard? Go easy from now on. You’re seriously the one who annoys me the most.”
“Ah… yes… understood….”
So that was her complaint? This woman really never changed.
“What are these wounds? Did a dog bite you?”
“Ah… yes… something like that….”
“It’s nothing serious? Just go over there and get treated by the healer cadets. I’m busy and don’t waste time on minor stuff like this. So scram.”
“Yes… thank you….”
The healer shooed me away with a lazy wave.
She was a very strange person, but I didn’t dislike her. She had been the only one who actually treated my serious injuries last year and worried about me. If she hadn’t been married, I might have developed a small crush.
I was heading to my assigned bed when—
“Could you look at this cadet first?”
“Yes! On my way!”
I ran into Han Min-young working there.
She was healing another cadet.
Come to think of it, it was obvious. Healer-track cadets didn’t participate in rank matches; they helped with treatment instead. So Han Min-young being here was completely normal.
But the instant I saw her healing someone else, an image flooded my mind without warning.
Han Min-young treating me.
Her eyes were filled with utter contempt. She used only her index finger and thumb, as if touching filth. She begins healing such a dirty, repulsive me.
Obviously that kind of touch meant the heal wouldn’t work properly. You can’t perform proper treatment while hating the patient.
I only feel pain. My body and mind are endlessly torn apart and shattered, and the torment continues.
“Huk… huk…!!!”
My vision darkens. My breathing grows ragged and I can’t do anything. It feels like I’ll pass out.
It’s too hard. Too painful.
“Senior… are you okay?”
“Ji-min, what’s wrong all of a sudden?”
Ha-eun and Nam Yeon-woo’s voices reached me. The two of them hadn’t gone home yet and were still watching over me.
Thanks to them my vision returned quickly. My breathing steadied and my frozen muscles loosened.
“I-I’m fine… it’s nothing….”
“Senior….”
“Ji-min, are you really okay? You look like…”
“I said I’m fine. Just… don’t say anything right now.”
“Okay… I understand… sorry….”
I’m fine. It doesn’t affect me at all!
I don’t have any feelings or interest in her anymore! I’m not even crushing on her anymore!
Having trauma just because I was ostracized is ridiculous. I don’t get hurt simply because the girl I used to like hates me.
I’m not that weak.
So it’s fine.
I’m okay.
Haa…….
After receiving light treatment from another healer cadet, I headed home with Ha-eun.
Nam Yeon-woo’s house was in a different direction, so we split up midway. Ha-eun and I chatted about random things until we reached the area near my house.
“Ha-eun, you lived in my neighborhood?”
“Yes! You didn’t know, Senior?”
“Of course I didn’t….”
How could I know if you never told me?
“Senior, what do you usually do on weekdays?”
“Me? I work out, train, that kind of thing. Nothing special.”
I decided not to mention playing rhythm games. Since Happiness had called otakus trash, I figured I should keep it hidden for now.
“Really? Then what about right now?”
“Hmm… I don’t have any particular plans. I’ll probably hit the gym late tonight anyway….”
“Then, do you want to get ice cream with me?”
“Oh, hell yes! Let’s go right now!”
We headed to a handmade gelato shop near the neighborhood. They made it fresh in-store and the prices were insanely cheap—an absolute hidden gem.
“I’ll buy. What do you want?”
“No, Senior… I’ll pay….”
“Still, I’m the senior, so I should pay. I just want to, so don’t feel burdened.”
“Okay… then….”
“What flavor?”
Ha-eun thought for a moment, then started glancing at me nervously.
“Um… Senior… please don’t think I’m weird…?”
“Huh? Why?”
“I… really like mint chocolate….”
“What?!”
“See… you don’t like it either, right…?”
No. This was destiny.
“What are you talking about? Ice cream is obviously mint choco.”
“Huh…?”
“I was going to get mint choco too! Or should we just grab a pint and pick three flavors to share?”
“Yes! But do you actually like mint choco, Senior?”
“Yeah. I’d be fine if all three were mint choco.”
“Wow!!! Senior, you’re the best!!”
We ended up choosing two mint chocos and one cookies-and-cream and devoured them happily.
It really is a scientifically proven fact that mint-choco fans are kind and pretty. Today reminded me of that once again.
Though it tasted exactly like the mint-choco gelato I got from the gacha last time. Must just be my imagination.
After happily finishing every last bite and leaving the shop, evening had already arrived.
We walked side by side, steps perfectly matched.
This alley that I would normally trudge through while staring at the ground looked inexplicably beautiful today.
Whenever the path narrowed, our shoulders would brush lightly. Each time, the kiss I shared with Ha-eun kept flashing through my mind.
“Senior.”
“Yeah?”
“Next weekend I’ll buy you something delicious.”
Expectation sparkled in Ha-eun’s wide, round eyes.
“Sure. I’ll look forward to it.”
“Hehe. Good!”
After walking a little farther we reached the front of Ha-eun’s house. It was part of a brand-name apartment complex near my place.
“So this is where you live?”
“Yes! Let’s see each other often from now on!”
“I’d like that.”
“Hehe, it’s a promise! See you tomorrow!”
Ha-eun smiled brightly, waved both hands wildly, and disappeared inside. I stood there in a daze until her figure was completely gone, then finally started walking again.
Ah… Ha-eun really is too damn cute.
My steps heading home—no, to the gym—felt as light as if I were walking on clouds. The entire time I lifted weights, I couldn’t stop the stupid grin from leaking across my face.
The next day.
When I arrived at the classroom, the state of my desk was strange.
What the hell is this?
Something was written on top of it. No—carved into it with a knife.
「Don’t act up. You dirty sex offender bastard.」
It’s rank-match week, so only D- and E-Class guys should be here. They’re starting shit this openly?
The academy’s ability-based classes formed a strict pyramid. The number of D-Class students was overwhelmingly high, while A-Class was tiny.
On top of that, during rank-match week, cadets ranked C-Class and above received exemptions from regular classes. For those with enough skill, personal training in the arena was far more helpful than regular lessons.
That meant everyone in the classroom this morning had to be D- or E-Class. A few C-Class students might be mixed in.
I quickly turned my head and spotted several guys sneaking glances at me and snickering.
One is Jo Ji-ho from D-Class. The other is also D-Class, but I don’t know his name.
Anyone could tell those bastards were the ones who messed with my desk.
Honestly, I had experienced this so many times that I had grown numb to it. My desk already carried plenty of malicious scribbles.
Poor desk… You keep suffering because you got stuck with the wrong owner….
But I had decided not to endure it anymore starting today.
I lifted the entire desk. Then I strode straight toward Jo Ji-ho.
“Huh? Uh…?”
Jo Ji-ho’s eyes widened in shock, freezing like an idiot. I slammed the desk down onto his head.
BANG—!!
But an awakened doesn’t go down from something like that. So I looked down at the collapsed Jo Ji-ho and spoke.
“I received your letter. Thanks.”
“You crazy sex offender bastard! You wanna go right now?”
He clutched his bleeding head, shot to his feet, and charged at me.
Yeah. This was it. Why the hell had I been waiting for the rank match?
Trash like them were everywhere. The harassment directed at me hadn’t only happened during rank matches.
I should just pay them back the same way.
From now on, your daily lives are going to become hell too.
Look forward to it.
Even if my body breaks and my life ends,
I won’t hold back anymore.
They’re only doing it because the classroom is full of weaklings and I’m an easy target?
Yeah. That’s right.
But here’s the thing.
They wouldn’t dare mess with A-Class students, right?
If I had been B-Class, they wouldn’t have harassed me, right?
Then this is fair.
That’s what I think.
“Heh heh heh heh heh heh.”
For some reason, I couldn’t stop laughing.