A Lucky Day (2): Poker

A little while ago.

I hadn't expected a poker face to be useless against a Demon King this hopelessly naive.

"Huh? Really? You're actually going to pick that one?"

Every time she reached for a card that wasn't the joker, I pressed her with a perfectly straight face. It didn't matter.

"Yeah. I want this one."

The Demon King was, to my surprise, an unshakable competitor. Piece by piece she assembled her matches, cards sliding into place, until we arrived at a situation where I held the joker and the diamond seven, and a single seven remained in her hand. She chewed her nail, thinking it over, then stretched a pale hand toward the diamond seven.

If she takes that, I'm dead.

"You sure you won't regret this?"

"...Huh?"

"If you get this wrong, an arrow's going to fly straight into your heart. Still no regrets?"

"Yeah. I'll just catch it."

"...No. That's not what I—"

I stalled with whatever I could think of, trying to turn her mind around, but her hand was already hovering right in front of the card.

"...Why are you switching their places?"

"Ah, my hand slipped—"

No.

"Ah! It's the diamond seven! That means it's over, right?"

She took one look at my already-collapsed poker face, flung the card aside, and started bouncing up and down.

"I won! I won!"

It was the first time I had ever lost to luck. Radiating thrill in every direction, the Demon King ricocheted around the castle like a super ball.

Is she really that happy?

Watching her beam from ear to ear after winning by luck for the first time, the tension from a moment ago vanished without a trace, and even I found my mood lifting to match hers.

For about five seconds.

"Come here. Time to settle up!"

That line. I was sure I had said those exact words months ago, during our second game together—Barrel Roulette.

"Ohohoho. Do you have any idea how long I've been waiting for this day!"

And then the super-ball Demon King, forehead-flick hand already clenched, came bounding over like a wild hare. Wound up as she was, her feet got tangled and she went down in a spectacular sprawl. The impact knocked a black book off a storeroom shelf. I snatched it up. The cover was scrawled in a crooked, uneven hand. The Demon King's handwriting.

"...What's this? Slap... Note?"

"W-wait! Give that back!"

Before she could get back on her feet, I flipped open the cover and read the first page.

Below that, every hitting bet we had ever made was recorded in meticulous detail.

"Th-that's... it's not like I was burning with vengeance or anything... I-I just wanted to keep a record. I-I wrote it a long time ago... back when we were in the middle of all those hitting games..."

"What dark magic! If anyone used it, it was you. And you were the one who wanted to play all those games!"

"W-who said anything about that!? This notebook is just so I can ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠practice games harder... f-for motivation!"

"Cut the bullshit! This thing is vibrating with hatred! Have you been charging up this whole time so you could wreck me!?"

"Uuut! B-bullshit? That's a bad word! You said that's a bad word! You just said a bad word to me—your favorite friend in the whole world!?"

"So to the friend you said you liked more than the Paper Crane, the one you wanted to sleep in the same bed with for the rest of your life—you've been sharpening your blade of revenge this whole time? That's pretty twisted, you know?"

"T-twisted!? Eeh... eeeeh! Th-then that means... you... you hate me!?"

"I like you, though."

"Me too!"

She hopped and threw herself at me. The girl who had been arguing at full heat a second ago slipped into my arms and all that steam went right out of her.

So innocent.

This was it. If I sweet-talked her now, while her feelings had gone all soft and fluffy, I could walk out of this slaughterhouse in one piece.

...Still. I never thought she'd been keeping a notebook like this.

I looked down at the Demon King's pretty face.

"Let's never fight over a hitting bet again."

"Mmm. No."

Wait.

"What?"

"No. I've been the only one getting hit this whole time, you know? You should get in trouble every once in a while too. Ah—and I'll say it again, this is not revenge."

That is literally revenge.

"My friend sure has a lot to say today. Now come here!"

"W-wait a second!"

The forehead flick that had sent any number of powerful challengers to an early grave came sliding in close.

Should I ask her to hold back?

No. I couldn't.

Asking the Demon King to hold back that monstrous strength when she hit me was no better than feeding my life into a pachinko machine. Sure, maybe I wouldn't die. Maybe it wouldn't even hurt that much. But the risk of dying was still very real, and I could not stake my life on a gamble that uncertain.

So what if I went the persuasion route instead? Tell her I might die because I'm weak.

If I said that to her...

"So while we were playing, you thought it was fine to hit me as much as you wanted, and you wouldn't take a single hit yourself? I was just a punching bag you could beat and squeeze without a second thought, is that it?"

...

I'd just go with my usual method.

"Double or nothing."

"Double or nothing?"

"Let's roll it over. I'll credit you one hit for this one. And from next time..."

"Mmm, no. I just wanna hit you. There's a saying, right? If you save it up, it turns into a carrot?"

Oh, for fuck's sake!

A Demon King who had acquired the ability to learn. She came at me quoting a mangled proverb, and the naive girl who usually went along with everything was not going along with anything today.

"C'mon, c'mon. Just take the hit first. Then we'll play the next game!"

There is no next, I'm telling you.

"Hold it. Wait just a second."

No choice, then. I was going to have to put more bribes on the table. It couldn't be helped.

"Paper dolls!"

"...Huh?"

Just like when I first met the Demon King, I shouted it the instant her flick-hand had come far too close.

"If you roll this one over, then from now on, every time you win, I'll throw in an origami doll on top of the hit."

The Demon King swallowed, a loud gulp. For a girl who played with paper houses every single day, it would be an offer too sweet to refuse.

Goddammit.

Last time, when I'd caught a cold and gotten kicked out, she had given me those yellow clothes. I'd been making them as a surprise thank-you gift...

Didn't think I'd be cashing this in now.

I really didn't like burning one of the cards I'd been saving to make her happy, but I didn't have a choice.

All I had to do was not lose.

"What's it going to be? Today's you is invincible, right?"

".....Mmm."

Her hesitant crimson eyes spun in circles. She set the paper-doll gift on one side of the scale and immediate revenge on the other, then made up her mind at once.

"Yeah! Okay!"

"Mind if this humble minion picks the next game?"

"M-minion?"

"Obviously. You're better at this ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠than I am."

"Kihihi. Okay. Okay. Let's do that. But it has to be a card game."

The Demon King, swaggering for all she was worth, gave her permission.

So I picked poker.

Like any other game with a deck of cards, luck was the dominant factor—when it came to winning any given hand, that is. What actually let you survive in this world for any length of time was the cold-blooded judgment to get out fast on a losing hand and wring every last coin from a winning one.

...That's what they say in gambling manga, anyway.

"If the same numbers are all lined up in a row..."

"Mhm, mhm."

She really did have a sharp mind. I explained the rules and the hand rankings once, and she understood them immediately.

"Then if I have a spade ace-two-three-four-five straight, and you have a diamond ace-two-three-four-five straight, who wins?"

"Normally that'd be a tie, but in the country I'm from, the order is spades, diamonds, hearts, then clubs."

"Ahh. So spades are the strongest."

She even posed special-case questions and tidied up the rules with care. But a good head and cold-blooded judgment were two different things. I had a hard time picturing this emotional, sometimes childish Demon King looking at a garbage hand, accepting it, and walking away from the money she'd already put in.

"Kihihi. This is going to be so much fun. So much."

"Yeah. Me too. I'll deal, then?"

That foolish hope that my friend might win by luck even once—I threw the whole thing out. From here on, I would play at full strength. If she whined, I could just hug her tight and soothe her. That would be enough.

The first hand was dealt.

♥6, ♥K, ♥7, ♦7

A good hand right from the start, with nothing worth throwing away. I could chase a flush with all five suits matching, and I already had a pair of sevens.

"Huh? You're not swapping either?"

"Mhm! I like these!"

The rules let you swap one of your first four cards, but it seemed the Demon King had caught a decent hand too, same as me.

Did she pick up something like 1-2-3-5? Or two pair?

Beginners had a habit of chasing a straight off a hand like that, or convincing themselves two pair was already a full house. She was always positive, her head a garden in full bloom. I doubted she'd be any different.

"Let's bet. You want to go first?"

For money, we brought out the bills we'd made last time we played Monopoly. Each of us started with ten thousand gold. Real betting systems had things like half-pot and quarter-pot, but we kept it simple: if you bet an amount the other person could match, the hand continued. If they couldn't, they folded that hand and just paid the hundred-gold ante.

"Okay. Then I'll bet three thousand gold."

"Ghk—!!"

The number hit me like Nine had just smacked me in the back of the head.

"Th-that much!?"

"Mhm. Why?"

I'd been planning to toss a little money back and forth and slowly bleed her dry. What was this? Going for the throat before the sun was even down?

...No way. Was the Demon King—was the Demon King running a mind game on me?

"Hihi. The picture's pretty."

This morning she had hung a whole string of buffs on the Paper Crane, and just now she'd gone and said something about a picture, casually revealing that one of her cards was a jack, queen, or king. And she was running a mind game?

Not a chance.

Whatever she'd been dealt, it was a good hand. Three of a kind at minimum, maybe.

Don't get cocky.

I'd just been calling her emotional, calling her childish—and the fact that I was sitting here inventing a mind game for this simple Demon King was proof that I was the one thinking emotionally.

"Die."

"...W-why?"

The Demon King jumped at the sudden curse.

"I die in the game..."

"...Huh? You're surrendering already? Then this hundred gold you put in as the buy-in is mine, right?"

"Yeah."

"Yahoo!"

Right. A Demon King who got this excited over a measly hundred-gold ante could not possibly be wearing a poker face that innocent on purpose.

And after that.

"Three thousand gold!"

"Die."

"Two thousand gold!"

"Die."

"Twenty-five hundred gold!"

"Dead."

...

Was this girl actually just betting whatever?

"Here."

"You just keep dying, huh? Unlucky, aren't you?"

"..."

"Kihihi. That's seven in a row~"

The Demon King needled me, having pocketed seven hundred gold in antes alone. Hearing her, of all people, tell me I was unlucky was a novel experience.

The feeling-out was over. She hadn't swapped a single card this whole time. She was just betting whatever she felt like. She might not even have understood the rules properly.

From the next hand on, I would play at my own pace no matter how much gold she threw in. I was not getting swept up again.

"Kihihi. This is so easy. You're such a cheapskate, huh?"

"I told you not to use that word."

Oh, you are so done. Time you got schooled.

♦J, ♥J, ♣J, ♥A

There it was.

"Three thousand gold!"

"Call."

For the first time, I took her reckless bet without flinching. If I couldn't take a pot like this, I would spend the rest of my life getting beaten without ever lifting a hand.

"...Aww. Yours is strong, huh?"

The Demon King, who had been tossing out huge numbers out of habit, hesitated for a moment. Which meant her own hand wasn't complete yet either.

Full house. Four of a kind if I'm really lucky. Three jacks even if I'm not.

Three of a kind was not a weak hand. Even if we went to showdown right now with these four cards and nothing else, I would almost never lose.

The next card came. ♥3. Nothing useful.

"Three thousand gold."

".....Huh?"

Was three thousand gold the only thing this kid knew how to say?

"Call."

I couldn't back down here either. I'd called the first bet holding three jacks—and now I was supposed to get scared and walk?

I'd be better off begging the ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠Demon King to let me put on a strip show if she'd just pretend none of this had ever happened.

The bets climbed so fast that, thanks to her, it became an all-in game for everything we had in the blink of an eye. Now we were waiting on the seventh card—the last one. And nothing meaningful had attached itself to my three jacks. The situation was starting to look uneasy.

"I'll deal the last card."

"No. I'll do it."

I was worried she'd cheat if she took the dealer role, so I dealt the last card myself.

"...Aww."

The Demon King's expression was not a good one. Fortunately, it seemed some terrible catastrophe had not been completed. A reaction like ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠that—couldn't I win even with three of a kind?

Still, I was nervous.

I needed something here. Something that would finish the hand. I wasn't even asking for four of a kind. Full house. Come on. Full house.

The way I'd once opened the college admissions results page, I carefully flipped the face-down card.

"..."

I swallowed.

"..."

...♠J

"...Sorry. I won."

I won.

Not a full house. Four of a kind.

Did I take that too seriously?

The thrill lasted only a moment. Once I'd actually cleaned her out, it didn't feel that pleasant. Watching her fidget with her cards, disappointed, made it even worse.

"...Aww."

The Demon King of inescapable misfortune wilted. All that money she'd been scraping together a hundred gold at a time was about to be wiped out... An unplaceable guilt even crept in, the kind you feel when you arm-wrestle your little niece at a holiday dinner and slam her arm through the edge of the table with everything you have.

I'll make her a paper doll later.

Yeah. One night of holding her in bed and she'd bounce right back. She always did.

I reached to sweep up the pot, and the Demon King asked,

"Hm? Why are you taking that? Did I lose?"

"...Yeah. Sorry. I have four of a kind."

"What? What!?"

The Demon King's eyes went round. I figured the gap was so far beyond reach that she'd lost the will to fight—

"Y-you have four of a kind too?"

"...What?"

I'd looked at her face and decided there was nothing more to see. Then her hand was revealed.

Four kings.

"...Ah? Then mine's higher, right? K is higher than J, and you have four jacks."

The bundle of bills in my hand spilled everywhere. No—they weren't my bills anymore.

...

"...Then why did you look so disappointed at the end?"

I had seen it clearly. When she received that last card, her face had been the disappointment of something that should have been completed and wasn't.

"Look, look. I had two sixes too, so I was trying to make four and three, but I just barely missed it."

...

She hadn't been going for a full house. She'd been going for a whole palace.

No, wait—she'd pulled four of a kind and still made a face that calm?

"...Do you have any idea how rarely four of a kind actually comes up?"

I remembered a probability chart I'd seen written up once. It hadn't even been 0.05 percent.

She'd been dealt a hand like that and managed her expression like it was nothing?

It was one of two things. Either this purehearted Demon King was a master of the poker face, or she had no idea what four of a kind was worth.

"Hm? I kept getting four of a kind from the very start, though? That's why I bet so much! Kihihi!"

...

"What?"

"I kept getting four each time. Last hand, and the one before that, too."

...

Does that even make sense?

"Hehehe. Then that's two hits for you... plus one extra paper doll."

"..."

Was this even the same jinxed Demon King I knew? The Demon King of today was far, far too lucky.

If her usual luck had been bad beyond all explanation, today was the complete opposite.

At this point, it was starting to scare me.

What if she really was?

What if she was drawing on a lifetime of luck and spending every last bit of it, right here?