Jackpot
"I made a new game, you know."
"Yeah."
"..."
"I'm looking forward to it."
".....I made a new game, you know."
"If you don't tell me right now, I'm gonna drop dead."
"Hehe. Well then! Guess I have no choice!"
The Demon King clapped a hand over her mouth, grinning so hard it looked like she might burst just from imagining the game.
"...What is it?"
"Listen up. Today's game is If I Win the Lottery. What would you do?"
Just from the name, it was a fantasy-escape daydream of a game.
"The rules are—"
"We list what we'd buy if we won the lottery, right?"
"Ah! You already know this game?"
"...I think I get it."
"Then we're starting? If I win the lottery, if I win the lottery..."
The gestures were the exact same as Going to the Market.
"If I win the lottery, I'll buy tons of ketchup."
The rules were identical to Going to the Market. You just kept reciting an ever-growing list of what you'd do if you won the lottery. I was a little worried the Demon King might turn into a plagiarist like James.
"If I win the lottery, I'll buy a donkey, get my own house, buy ketchup bottles, buy Samsung Electronics, and buy a new apron."
I had never once beaten the Demon King at Going to the Market. Her memory defied all common sense. Whenever it looked like I was about to lose during our bedtime rounds, I always pretended to fall asleep. That was how I postponed it into a draw, every single night.
In the end, I hit the limits of being human and lost to her. Instead of a forehead flick, I paid the price by letting her ride me around like a donkey for the rest of the day. With that, she'd finally gotten her revenge for all the humiliation she'd suffered these past few days.
"But why a lottery all of a sudden?"
"I looked at the lottery ticket I'd been saving and it reminded me. Hehe."
"What lottery ticket?"
"Ohoho. This one."
What she showed me was an unscratched, gold-foiled pension lottery ticket. You know the kind — the little ones you scratch with a coin.
"Where'd you get that?"
"Heehee. It was stuck on the back of a magazine as a freebie. It was gold and pretty, so I saved it. It says it's a hundred-million jackpot lottery. But how much is a hundred million, anyway?"
She didn't seem able to wrap her head around the size of a hundred million.
"Hey. What's your favorite thing?"
"You."
"...No. Among things you buy with money."
"The Orb of Eternity."
"...Besides that."
"Uuum... then there's too many... pork belly's good... and a new fairy tale book, and a pot without holes, and laundry soap, and thunderbird meat, and paper, and a ball of yarn..."
...What an absurdly modest king of demonkind.
"Even if you bought a hundred of everything you just listed, you'd still have money left over."
"A h-hundred?"
The Demon King's eyes bulged like they might pop right out of her head. Her crimson irises spun as her happiness engine kicked into overdrive. After running the numbers on her mental abacus, she split her mouth into a crescent-moon grin and snickered.
"Th-then I wouldn't have to sniff empty ketchup bottles anymore! I wouldn't have to lick the lids of bean cans!"
Shut up already! My heart's going to break!
"Sh-should we try it?"
"Try what?"
"This. It might actually win, you know."
...Don't.
It's a little late to mention this, but my luck is godawful. Back on Earth I was always getting pushed around by bastards like Sergeant Koh. Getting summoned to this world was unfair enough, but then I couldn't even awaken — I ended up a Luggage Porter, and in a party of complete lunatics at that. That pretty much said it all.
It was painfully obvious that the Demon King — who'd never once lost to me in a game of luck — would get her hopes up for nothing and end up disappointed. I shouldn't have gone on about what a hundred million was worth.
"Don't do it."
"Huh? Why not?"
"It's not going to happen anyway. The odds are about the same as a star falling into your outstretched hand."
It was a little cruel, but better than getting her hopes up only to dash them. I told her the truth as it was.
"Then I still want to try. A star might fall, just like last time."
Ignoring me, the Demon King went to the piggy bank where she collected coins from the invaders. She came back clutching one.
"I told you, it's not going to happen."
For some reason, I felt irritated at the Demon King for stubbornly insisting on looking, only to be disappointed.
"What if it does win? Will you grant all my wishes?"
"And if it doesn't?"
At my counter, the Demon King's crimson eyes dropped to the floor. She wasn't confident either, then.
"If it doesn't, it doesn't. You already said it definitely won't, so grant my wish."
...What kind of logic was that.
"Got it?"
She asked in a firm tone.
"Fine."
Whatever. It wasn't going to win anyway.
"Hold on."
I said it to the Demon King, who was nervously holding out the coin.
"If it wins, I'll grant your wish. So if it doesn't, you grant mine."
"...Huh? What is it?"
"Even if it doesn't win, don't get disappointed or make a sad face. It was never going to win in the first place."
"...Okay! Of course not! When have I ever made a sad face?!"
You do it all the time.
She scratched the lottery ticket that had zero chance of winning.
?
"W-woooooaaaah!!"
It won.
The Demon King bounced up and down, batting at my arm. I felt even less grounded in reality than she did.
...
...
Circumstances make a person banal. With my imagination shriveled under the weight of overwhelming reality, the only thing I could think to do was pinch my own cheek.
I pinched it.
That hurt.
...!!
She'd actually won the lottery.
"Wooooah! We're rich now!"
...
I'd heard somewhere that when you win the lottery, your emotions surge so hard through your whole body that you can't even move.
...
Yeah. I really couldn't move.
How was this even possible.
Then what did that make me — the guy who'd just gone on about what a hundred million was worth?
It was an Earth lottery ticket.
There was no way for her to claim the prize.
The Demon King, unlucky all year round, finally gets one jackpot of a day — and it's an Earth lottery ticket she could only cash in if she died?
How cruel. Her lot in life.
And now this mouth of mine was going to have to be the one to disappoint her.
"First I'll buy ten bottles of ketchup — no, twenty — and oh, I'll buy tons of that meat you like. And I'll get the pot with the hole repaired... ah! Or I could just buy a new one, right?"
...
She turned to look at me.
"Ah! Don't worry. Of course I'll buy you everything you want! We don't have to skimp on food anymore."
"...No, that's not—"
"Honestly, we were just about to run out of food! I guess all those prayers I said every now and then actually worked! And beans have to be eaten with ketchup! Obviously!"
She was too excited to sit down, circling the table over and over as she talked.
...
This was too much.
Who the hell made it win, expecting me to clean this up?
"Hihihi, kihihi. I've always felt so bad that I couldn't feed you anything tasty in this cramped little place... Solved! It's solved!"
...
Just once.
Should I do it just one more time? Lie.
If I just dumped it on some far-off future version of her, I wouldn't have to see her sad face right now, would I?
I'm scared. So scared.
I'm telling you I'm scared. I can't look at her anymore.
...
Fine. I'll say it. I've already piled up so many lies. What's one more going to change?
It's what I'm good at, after all.
"About that lottery ticket."
"Yeah, yeah! Ah, wait a second! I'll go get paper and a pen, so write down everything you need—"
"We can't claim the money from that lottery ticket."
Looks like I couldn't be a selfish bastard all the way through.
Idiot.
"...Huh? What did you just say?"
"We can't get the money. The place that pays out the prize is really, really far away."
"...I don't understand. What do you mean?"
"Give it here."
Riiip.
!!
I hated seeing the Demon King grinning over a lottery ticket she couldn't even cash in, so I tried to snatch it — and ended up tearing it.
"...Ah."
"Ah."
The ticket split in two, one half in my hand and one in the Demon King's.
...
"...I'm sorry."
"...It's okay."
"But I meant it when I said we can't claim it. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I just assumed it wouldn't win."
"...Yeah. It's okay."
The Demon King took the half of her first-ever stroke of great fortune that I'd just torn. Then she held it up against her own half.
"...I knew it...!"
Then the Demon King hurriedly put on a bright smile. It was clumsy, but I could tell how hard she was trying.
"I knew it! Canned beans are delicious even without ketchup, right?"
"...Huh?"
I was briefly thrown by her suddenly spiked energy.
"Are they tasty? Not tasty? Answer me. If you don't, I'll punish you."
She formed a forehead-flick with her pale fingers as she said it.
"...Beans taste good even on their own."
"What about the pot with the hole? The old blanket?"
"..."
I think I knew what she was trying to tell me.
"Was that so? I never even noticed anything was uncomfortable. This whole time."
"That's riiight!!"
...I'm sorry.
In the end, you cleaned it up for me again this time.
...
I wanted to do something for her. Anything.
"What are you doing in there?"
The Demon King asked from outside the storage room. She couldn't come in because I'd locked the door.
"Just wait. I'm making something fun for you."
"Y-you're not hiding in there because you don't want to be with me anymore, right?"
...Are you actually the Demon King? How did a kid who thinks such pathetic things every single second ever reign as the king of demonkind.
...
The Demon King had no luck.
Including the lottery ticket that won today.
I wanted to give her real luck. Luck she could see, luck she could hold in her hands.
I hoped she'd be happy. This was all I could do for her.
"Wh-wh-what is this!?"
The Demon King couldn't hide her shock at the paper pull-tab board I'd made. A pull-tab game decorated with drawings of stars and dinosaurs — the things she loved.
When I was a kid, I'd spend a hundred won at the stationery store to pull one of these. Inside you'd find everything from banana bread to in-store gift certificates to a skateboard. The grand prize was a golden carp taffy. I got the idea from that memory.
"What, what is this? Huh? Huh?"
"Today's game is a pull-tab game."
It felt a little awkward delivering the line she always said out of habit.
"A pull-tab game!?"
"Yeah. The rules are simple. We take turns peeling off the papers stuck here. The game ends when someone pulls the first prize from inside."
"Are there penalties too? Like forehead flicks... or water torture."
Why the hell would I put something like that in? And what even is water torture.
"No penalties, but there are blanks. For example."
I peeled off a paper I'd memorized in advance.
"Aah, look at that. A blank. That's a miss. So, wanna try?"
"Of course!!! I wanna try! I'm definitely doing this!"
Out of forty-nine pull-tabs, forty-six were first prizes, and the remaining three were blanks.
I'd considered just making them all winners and telling the Demon King to pull right away, but then she'd obviously figure it out.
"H-hey, so. I trust you, but..."
The Demon King asked, unable to take her eyes off the pull-tab board.
"You know where everything is, don't you?"
"No. I mixed up all the written papers first and then drew the pictures, so I don't really know."
A little lie.
"Okay. Got it."
The innocent Demon King believed me without question.
And so the paper pull-tab game began.
"Can I go first?"
The Demon King asked, looking like she wanted to peel one off that very second. Just as I'd expected.
"No. Let's decide the order with rock-paper-scissors."
"Whaaat!? That's not a thing!"
"I made this, remember. Ready — scissors, rock..."
How to draw luck with the Demon King's own hands.
I'd obviously win at rock-paper-scissors.
Then I'd pull one of the three blanks whose positions I'd memorized. That would leave two.
Then the Demon King would be pulling from forty-six winners, technically.
But given how unlucky she was, she might still pull one of the two remaining blanks.
That's why I'd put in three. If she pulled one of the two remaining blanks, I'd just pull the last one.
Then. Nothing but first prizes would be left.
Then the Demon King would be given a real first prize.
The thought of her beaming as she received first prize made me so happy.
"Paper."
"Paper!"
...
Huh?
"Wait? Wait? I-I won!?"
I couldn't believe it.
Why?
How? Even this?
The Demon King had beaten me at rock-paper-scissors for the first time.
...
"I-I go first!"
Pop.
With a look of disbelief still on her face, she pulled a paper.
It was a paper that said blank, all right.
...
"...So close... Heehee. Your turn."
...
I couldn't to pull anything but a blank. The first prize had to be hers.
Pop.
"Huh? You're a blank too? Then it's my turn...!"
...
Please.
Please don't let her pull a blank.
I know I can't give her a hundred million. I know I can't give her the Orb of Eternity.
Just let her win the lousy first prize I made. That's all I'm asking.
Pop.
"...Hehe. Another blank. It's okay. There's still lots left."
...
...
This is too much.
What was I even hoping for?
"You can do it."
She said it from beside me. Looking at her made my chest ache, so I turned my head away.
...
No matter what I pulled, it was inevitably the worst prize.
Pop.
"Wooooow..."
"..."
The first prize in my hand was a paper house. I could fold more than just paper cranes — dinosaurs, rabbits, all sorts of things. I'd put those inside the paper house. It looked slapdash, but I'd spent a long time making it.
"You're, you're, you're so lucky."
The Demon King sent me a look of naked envy. I'd wanted her to receive it from a tab she'd pulled herself.
If I'd known it would turn out like this, I should have just made them all winners and told her to pull right away. I should have done it even if it meant she kept suspecting me. It had never even occurred to me that I'd lose at rock-paper-scissors — a game I hadn't lost to her once in months.
I held it out.
"...Here. You take it."
"N-no. I didn't say I was envious because I wanted it."
"For tearing the lottery ticket earlier... this is my apology. Please take it."
"...But."
The Demon King accepted the paper house with trembling hands. And then her eyes welled up all over again.
"...Sniff. I'll treasure this for the rest of my life. Thank you. Thank you so much. Demeter's—"
"...Yeah."
If I'd known, I should have just given it to her from the start. I'd only done this because I felt so sorry for the Demon King, whose jackpot had been made to never happen. I shouldn't have bothered.
That said, the Demon King was completely absorbed in the paper house, staring at it without pause. She tried tucking the paper crane from around her neck inside it, then shifted it this way and that. From the maker's standpoint, it was a pretty wonderful reaction.
Pad, pad.
Satisfied at last, the Demon King climbed up onto the bed.
"...Fwaaah."
She grabbed the body I'd been lying on my back in and pulled me into a hug as she lay down.
"...Thank you so much."
How many times had she said that by now. Since receiving the paper house, she must have thanked me several dozen times. I was that sorry.
"Don't mention it. I'm just glad you like it."
"Thank you. Thank you."
Anyone watching would think I'd given her a diamond ring.
"Hey. This."
She held something out to me. It was the lottery ticket I'd accidentally torn earlier. It had been clumsily taped back together. It looked so fragile it might split apart again at any moment.
"...?"
"...Hehe. I looked at the instructions on the bottom. It says even if it's torn, you can still cash it in if you tape it back together."
"..."
"Someday you and I might go to the place that pays out, right?"
"..."
"Then let's definitely buy something tasty with the prize money."
"..."
"Okay?"
"...That's never going to—"
"..."
"Okay?"
"Alright."
She pressed the lottery ticket into my hand.
"...Why?"
"You hold onto it."
"...I mean, why?"
"Hehe. Just because."
"..."
"Thank you for the paper house."
"...Yeah."
Same as always, I wrapped both arms around the Demon King.
Behind her head, I could see the back of the lottery ticket she'd given me. The date by which the prize could still be claimed had less than a year left on it.