Mist Lake (1): The Way There
After a night of pouring rain, the tent should have been thick with damp. I'd already braced myself for a clammy morning.
...Huh?
Instead, a pleasantly cool breeze filled the tent, as if someone had left the air conditioner running on low. Her magic, most likely. The chill felt so good I kept my eyes shut long after I'd woken.
There was one other pleasant thing. Her light head and soft cheek, still using my arm as a pillow.
I opened my eyes. The Demon King's crimson irises, which I'd been watching until I fell asleep, were still fixed on me. Her eyes, which had been cracked open just a little past a crescent moon, suddenly sprang wide as a full moon and blinked, blinked.
"Y-you're up! Finally."
"...Were you about to use Roar of the Berserk Dragon again?"
"What? Do I look like that kind of person to you?"
You try it every single time. And you're not even a person.
"Come on, get up. They say the early bird gets an extra rice cake."
Her world of proverbs remained as inscrutable as ever.
She'd been lying on my arm, then sprang up and revved her whole body like a sprinter about to explode off the blocks. She'd gone to bed later than I had... Having good stamina was one thing, but this was ridiculous. If she ever became a boot-camp instructor, the recruits would drop like flies.
"...Hey."
"Hm?"
"Can we just lie here a little longer?"
I wanted to linger a bit more in the tent's cool breeze.
"Mmm... okay. But I..."
She raised a pale index finger and poked my arm, tap-tap. It didn't take long to figure out what she meant.
"Go ahead."
"Okay."
She flopped back down, using my arm as a pillow just as before.
She'd been lying on it all night, and yet my arm hadn't gone numb at all. Was her head just that light? She even had a long horn growing from the left side — how was she this weightless? Maybe the horn was made of styrofoam. I had a feeling she'd get mad if I asked.
She'd said we should head straight for Mist Lake, but the place she dragged me to by the hand was that plant from last time — the one with five leaves. Or rather, four now.
"Why'd we stop here?"
"Haaah... this is why Softie..."
Softie?
The look on the Demon King's face as she coined yet another bizarre nickname and smacked her own forehead with her palm, sighing, was infuriating as hell.
She swung the bag on her back around to the front and rummaged through it.
"Ta-da."
"..."
A camera.
"We've gotta leave a photo from Ghost Plateau too!"
"..."
Then she grabbed my hand, held the camera lens in front of her own face, and clicked the shutter.
No flattering angles. No cheap tricks like pulling her face back from the lens. Even if someone pulled every last one of those tacky techniques, they wouldn't come within a mile of her beauty.
"Got it? Let's go."
"Ah, wait. We need to take it again. I just closed my eyes..."
"Okay, look here and smile!"
Click.
We arrived in front of the Up-and-Down Box with the Demon King. She turned and swept her gaze around the surroundings, then wore a satisfied smile.
"That was so much fun!"
"Same here."
It had only lasted a single night, but I'd genuinely enjoyed every bit of it. I felt like I'd piled a cart high with cabbages. And the trip was only halfway done.
A low hum. The moment mana poured into the power unit, the box shot upward this time. Floor 66 — Mist Lake. I hoped our veteran elevator girl wouldn't make any mistakes.
A whoosh. A screech.
And then.
"Aaaah!"
"...! Wh-what? What's wrong? Did something break?"
Elevator or Up-and-whatever Box, an emergency stop was enough to scare the hell out of me.
"This is bad! The mana power core's going haywire! At this rate we'll crash all the way to the first floor!"
"What!? What are you talking about!"
"It's over! Our butts are going to be wrecked!"
I'd just been handed a fucking death sentence.
A creak. The door of the Up-and-Down Box opened.
A forest of tangled, winding vines and towering bamboo. Unlike the humid air of Ghost Plateau, a cool mountain breeze rolled in. This was clearly the woods beside Mist Lake.
We'd arrived just fine?
"...?"
"Hehe. Scared! You! Didn't I~!"
She flapped her palms beside her face and pulled a ridiculous expression.
"A Journey That Never Gets Boring said jokes make a trip way more fun. The example they gave was 'A moon bear is chasing us!' but I came up with this box gag all by myself."
Between this and yesterday's impressions, her jokes were downright catastrophic. Do not go around telling jokes. If Nine had been standing here, she'd have started with a slap across the face. Of course, then that bitch's palm would have shattered.
"Where... mmm... this is..."
She unfolded something. This time it actually seemed to be a map. I snuck a glance.
Crab claws, maple leaves, star-shaped drawings. As expected, a completely indecipherable chicken-scratch of a map.
She pointed at a spot on the map with her fingertip.
"This is where we are now... and this is Mist Lake!"
...I can't make out a single thing.
"Great, then let's get moving!"
She rolled the map back up, tucked it in her bag, and spoke.
"...Hey."
"Hm?"
"If you used a movement buff like Haste, we'd get there in no time, right? Someone at your level could even use the Wings of Zephyros."
Back when I traveled with my old party, Dorothy would often cast Haste so they could walk with light steps. Of course she never cast it on me, so while those bitches walked, I had to run. Those assholes.
"Kyaaaaah!"
At my suggestion she clapped both palms over her ears in horror. She looked like she'd just laid eyes on three months of overdue apartment maintenance bills.
"Urgh, Camper-baby! Raw carrot! Kurdan of Destruction! I'm disappointed."
The way she even shook her head side to side, overacting the whole thing, told me I'd scuffed the soul of a hardcore camper yet again. Ha, goddamn it, this was so fucking annoying.
...More than that, the fact that she still held a grudge against Kurdan for breaking that porcelain was chilling.
...Wait, was he even the one who broke it? Hell if I know. As long as it got resolved.
"You. You can't live relying on magic all the time, got it? In the end, humans have to live according to the laws of nature."
Said the girl who had, just this morning alone, hung a Paper Crane around her neck layered with dozens of apocalypse-grade buffs — lecturing a civilian Luggage Porter who couldn't even cast Fireball. Haha. I was going to lose my mind.
"Sorry. Guess I've been a convenience junkie living off magic."
"Be more careful from now on."
The distance from the box to Mist Lake was considerable, but I didn't tire at all. I felt refreshed. The air here moved in and out of my lungs and cleaned out every stale breath.
Nice.
Even my steps felt lighter. I'd slept well last night, so today my condition was at its peak.
"Hehe."
The Demon King tugged me along by the hand. The way she walked, looking every which way in a frenzy, I couldn't tell if I was holding her hand or taking a puppy for a walk.
"...That much fun?"
"Huh!? What? Oh, it's a Paper Crane-shaped rock."
She was so absorbed she couldn't even hear the person whose hand she was holding. She picked up a strangely shaped stone from the ground and dropped it in her bag. Following the mosasaurus rock she'd picked up a moment ago, this was the twenty-fifth. Honestly... the more I watched her, the more unique and charming a character she was.
A good idea occurred to me. When I got back to Earth, I'd write a novel with her as the protagonist. It would definitely be a masterpiece to follow in the footsteps of Omniscient Donkey Perspective.
Thanks to her scampering around, we'd taken a bit of a detour, but we eventually arrived at Mist Lake.
"Wow!"
"Oh."
We pushed through the grass and finally arrived at Mist Lake.
A pale mist hung over everything, veiling the stars — but aside from that, the still, settled atmosphere was a work of art. The water was calm without being stagnant, clear all the way through, and short grasses grew around the lakeshore. I'd have believed an immortal sage lived here. It was also one of the rare places I'd actually liked while climbing the Tower.
"Hehe."
The Demon King, who'd been walking ahead, came trotting up to me. Her flushed cheeks told me she'd thought of another cute prank. She wrapped her arms around my waist.
"...What now."
How long had she been holding this in? Had she been dreaming of this place? She hugged my waist tight, rested her chin on my chest, and said,
"Take off your shoes. Your socks too."
"...Huh?"
"We're gonna play a game... hehe."
I took off my shoes and socks at her words. What wouldn't I do for her? With a face that happy...
Whoosh!
?
Huh?
When I came to my senses, I was flying through the air.
The Demon King had promptly seized me in a giant swing and hurled me into the water.
Splash!
"Pwah!"
Luckily she'd thrown me somewhere shallow, so I surfaced right away. I'd nearly kicked the bucket without ever fulfilling my precious dream of someday cracking Dorothy over the back of the head with a soju bottle.
"...Camping Master. Care to explain?"
I had a rough idea, but I needed the footnotes.
"At a lake, starting with this is the golden rule."
...Of course.
I made a decision. Next time a fire-attribute invader like Nephilim showed up, I'd steer them toward incinerating the Demon King's travel guidebooks.
"..."
"..."
She must have caught the murderous intent in my eyes, because she hurriedly turned her back at the water's edge.
"W-well then, I'll go get the barbecue party ready..."
"Oh, a dinosaur-shaped rock."
"Where? Where?"
I grabbed her around the waist from behind and launched us both into the water. Last time I'd given her a waist massage, no buffs had triggered, so grabbing her waist was safe. She'd had something about wrestling on her bucket list — with this, that wish of hers was granted. Congratulations!
Splash!
This was, quite literally, humanity's first counterattack. You watching? Nine, Dorothy, Blockhead, Yuria? You took one hit and got completely wrecked. She and I were in a whole different league now.
"Pwah!"
"Pff."
The Demon King who emerged from the water was soaked to the bone, a drowned-rat look just like mine.
Don't tell me... she's going to be petty over something like this...
"Oh my. You dare drop a suplex on me just because I played a little prank? This is why you should never play with a Luggage Porter. I have no further business with you. Goodbye."
...Imagining something like this after I was the one who pulled the prank. I was being way too pathetic.
"Pffhuhu... uhohoho! Ahaha!"
The Demon King threw her mouth wide open and cackled like a child. Even soaked, even with the pale mist veiling her a little, it was a laugh of such vivid, brilliant color that it stood out against everything.
She splashed water at me with her small white hands. I thought a tidal wave was coming.