If You Were to Travel, Where Would You Want to Go
Having lost Red Hare in the end, the Demon King had been wearing a long face for several minutes running.
"...Want me to give it back?"
"...Give what back?"
She stuck her lip out in a pout and played dumb.
"Red Hare."
"...Nngh. No. It was a bet, so... you two live happily together."
Come on. This made me look like a total piece of garbage, didn't it? This was mine to begin with. And I had a vaguely ominous feeling about the consequences.
"...Cheer up. If I want to get you to Mars City faster, it's better if I'm the one riding this, right?"
"...I don't even need to go anymore..."
"What?"
"Ah, nothing."
With Red Hare and even the Golden Hoe in my possession, I was busy clearing every quest that had been bottlenecking me for ages. I needed to make as much progress as I could while I had them borrowed. Which meant I ignored the occasional burning stare I felt from the Demon King's character behind me.
I spent the whole day galloping around on horseback.
"T-take me with you."
The Demon King's character, who had been daintily trailing after me on Red Hare like a noble lady, had hiked up her skirt and was now chasing my character on foot with everything she had.
"Together..."
A slip, a splat — and a moment later her character went down in a spectacular sprawl, face-planting straight into the potato field. I'd just watered it thoroughly, so the soil was extremely sticky.
Oh crap.
I was in the middle of a full gallop, but I jumped off the horse immediately and helped her character back up.
"A-are you oka— hiiik!"
Okay, my ass! The gold dress I'd bought her was caked in dirt, and her face was slathered in a mud mask that made her look like one of the natives from King Kong.
"Pffft! You look so damn ugl—"
Oh no.
The Demon King's mud-caked character face was so hilarious I couldn't help bursting out laughing in real life. I glanced over at her. She was staring at me with murderous eyes, having caught me failing to hold in my laughter. The temperature around us seemed to drop at the same time.
"I'll wipe it off for you. Just wai—"
"...No. I'll do it myself."
She was smiling, but her expression was ice-cold.
"...Are you sure you're okay?"
"Mm-hmm. You're super busy, right? Go on, hurry. I'll just scrub myself off at the pond over theeeere, all by myself."
...Is she actually okay?
"...Alright."
"Yeah... go."
I'd borrowed Red Hare from her, so I needed to squeeze every last drop of value out of it. I left her mud-caked character behind and climbed back into the saddle. Clop, clop.
"...He's actually leaving...?"
The Demon King muttered something. It was too quiet for me to catch.
"What?"
"...Nothing. Work hard."
She'd be fine. Probably.
"I'm sorry."
I offered her a catch-all apology.
"Hmm? For what?"
At the dinner table, my bowl was piled with nothing but canned beans and carrots.
"I'm just sorry for everything. So... can I have some of that too?"
In the Paper Crane's bowl — a creature that couldn't possibly eat — sat a serving of kimchi stew giving off a rich, savory aroma. Petty little...
"I'd love to. But what can I do? Sorry, that's all there is. We have to feed our Paper Crane, you know."
"...The Paper Crane can't even ea—"
She shot me a look.
"Look at him, eating so well."
If I kept pushing, Chain Lightning would graze right past my ear. She really held a grudge. This little... yeah, no doubt about it. She was definitely getting revenge for the Little Farm incident.
"...Earlier, in Little Farm..."
"...Yeah."
"I'm sorry I laughed at your character's face."
"...That's not it, though?"
It's not? Then what is it?
In the quiet kitchen, only the clink of dishes and the sound of chewing remained. The Demon King staying in a foul mood was not a good sign. She seemed to be sulking with all the immovable dignity of a mountain, but... maybe I should change the subject.
"Oh, right. About that trip."
She twitched.
"...T-trip?"
Oh, for crying out loud.
Three seconds ago she'd looked as gloomy as a private on the last night of leave, about to ship back to base. One mention of a trip, and a shine entered her eyes. The leftover momentum of her sulking was still there, though, so she didn't immediately go, A trip! We're going on a trip! Heheh!
"...A t-trip, what about it? Keep talking."
When I didn't continue, she grew impatient and demanded I go on.
"We decided last time we'd go to the Ghost Plateau on the 32nd floor and Mist Lake on the 66th, right?"
"Yeah, yeah! Wow. Youuu! You remembered...! Mmph!"
Her excitement had spiked so fast she couldn't stop herself, and she hurriedly clapped a hand over her mouth. She cleared her throat twice and lowered her tone again.
"...Yeah. That's right. Mist Lake."
So painfully transparent. The Demon King was holding her excitement down, as if she knew that going from angry to laughing would make hair grow on her ass. But the next words out of my mouth undid all of it.
"Sounds fun. Should we bring some food?"
"That, that! What should we bring? Sandwiches? Seasoned black beans?"
Utterly delighted, she dropped every last scrap of her earlier mood and pride, hopped up from her chair, and bounced on her feet.
"A trip! We're going on a trip! Heheh!"
She recited the exact line I'd predicted a moment ago.
Wow... she's really excited.
According to my forecast as the official Demon King Weather Service: humidity zero, not a cloud in the sky, weather ridiculously clear. In this state, she'd agree to anything I asked. For instance.
"Can I have the kimchi stew?"
"Of course. What were you waiting for?"
I slurped it down.
"Can I squish your cheeks?"
"Sure! Of course."
She instantly deactivated every buff on her cheeks, trotted over, and presented her face. I stretched. And stretched.
...Damn.
This. This right here. A texture I could never get tired of for the rest of my life. Her cheek flesh, stretching softer than anything else in the world. Absolutely magnificent.
Ah, this was something only I, a survival expert of the Demon King's Castle, could request after precisely measuring her mood. Should any amateur try to copy this, they would immediately get their forehead flicked into oblivion or be torn apart by a hellish beast, so please take note.
...Incredible.
Suddenly even the beans and carrots I was chewing tasted sweet. Oops, better stop here. A true gourmet never overindulges.
"Ohoho. Then tomorrow we'll spend the whole day prepping for the camping trip."
"Sure. But where are we going? Mist Lake? Ghost Plateau?"
She shoved her face right up to mine, put her lips to my ear, and whispered as if sharing some tremendous secret.
"Don't be too shocked, okay? We're going to both."
...Going to both was fine by me. She was this happy about it.
"Hey. You wanted to go to the Ghost Plateau last time, right?"
She asked me. I did remember answering that way before.
"Ah, yeah."
"Why was that?"
...Come to think of it.
The reason I'd suggested the Ghost Plateau on the 32nd floor before. Simply because, of the destinations she'd proposed, it was the closest to the ground — maybe I'd have some kind of chance to escape.
...No need to come clean about that. And it wasn't true anymore, anyway.
"The atmosphere's nice, and it's cool, so it feels good."
"Right, right. Pretty good instincts for a camping newbie."
"That feeling like something's about to jump out, but it's still quiet."
"Hwaa, yes! Exactly that. That whole-body tingly feeling, right?!"
"I like Mist Lake too. Sometimes you can't see the stars because of the fog, but the way they settle on the still water is pretty."
"Oh my! You saw those stars!? D-did you try it there too? That thing! You know... skipping stones, splash-splash on the water...!"
"Skipping stones?"
"Yes! Skipping stones! Skipping stones!"
"I tried it when all my party members were asleep. Every time I threw one, the stars floating on the lake shattered like candy—"
She'd been blooming with conversation about the travel destinations, and eventually she couldn't hold her excitement in anymore — she lunged and threw her arms around me where I sat. I'd gotten a little worked up listing places with her too, so there wasn't even room for fear to sneak in. At this rate, the day might come when I got stabbed by her horn.
"Yes! Yes! I love it! I love it so much!"
The Demon King rubbed her face all over my stomach. Her breath reached through the hoodie she'd given me, tickling, and I was a little worried my waist might snap in her white arms — but for some reason, I didn't want to pull her off.
"Heheh... I feel like I might burst right now."
She lifted her head from where she'd been nuzzling into me. Her face was flushed with excitement, like a kid at an amusement park ticket booth.
...Cute.
I was in a good mood too, catching it from her. I hoped this trip would be a happy one for her.
...But.
Why hasn't she gone on a trip until now?
Seeing her this unbearably happy, it was clear the Demon King loved traveling. And judging by how she occasionally went down to the first floor to deliver finished dinosaur dolls, it wasn't like she couldn't leave the 100th floor.
Why, then?
"...Eheheh. What do I do? It's pounding so hard here."
Still draped over my lap, she pointed at the left side of her chest.
I shouldn't ask why. If she hasn't gone not because she didn't want to, but because she couldn't, there must be a reason.
She still hadn't recast the buffs on her cheeks. For the first time, I reached out and touched her cheek without asking permission. Not pulling — stroking.
"...Hehe..."
She stretched up her two pale arms and caressed my cheeks in return. Anyone watching would have found the scene pretty ridiculous.
"This feels really good. I should do this more often."
"...You should."
"...So... this is... a friendship trip, right?"
A friendship trip... did she pick that up from some catalog?
Even in her excitement, the Demon King asked me carefully. She often seemed to want confirmation of things.
"Yeah. Since we're going as friends."
Instead of answering, she buried her head in my chest once more. Tight — as if she had no intention of showing her face. Then she kicked her pale feet in the air.
Why did I do it? Was I a little excited about traveling with her too? Or was it because I liked seeing her smile?
I went and made a terrible slip of the tongue.
"...It'd be nice to take pictures, too."
Ah.
The moment the words left my mouth, I knew I'd messed up. But the sound had already ridden the air into her ears. Maybe I'd gotten overconfident from all the times my words had made her happy. I'd spoken without running it through my brain first.
"W... wow..."
She popped her head out of my chest, mouth hanging open in wonder.
"That's so... I... that's so..."
The Demon King just worked her lips, unable to string the words together. Did sensitivity scale with mana, too? If so, I'd be a cold-blooded bastard second to none.
...Ha.
Before I could even get a word out, she sprinted to the storeroom. No — even if I'd had all the time in the world, I wouldn't have found the words to take back that lie.
"Huff... hah... pictures... you have to."
She came running back, panting, and pressed a camera into my hands.
...Fuck.
I was definitely a complete idiot. I'd already settled on a title for the book I'd publish if I ever got out of here. The Bullshit Circus of a Complete Fucking Idiot.
It was a moment of profound self-loathing.
"The pictures we take on the trip will come out in just a year too, right? Yeah?"
"..."
"...Yeah?"
I'm sorry.
"...That's right."