Because You Can't Know a Heart Unless It's Spoken
Ania watched the carriage dwindle into the distance beyond the window for a long while. Only when it had vanished from sight did she release the breath she had been holding and look down at the small garden below the mansion.
The garden that had once overflowed with flowers of every color now shone with a golden yellow light.
Winter had come, and the wildflowers had withered and died; only the Geumdonghwa remained.
Even as every other bloom folded its leaves and returned to the earth, the Geumdonghwa alone refused to fade, opening its bright petals without fail.
It was a flower that bloomed its beautiful blossoms in the bitter cold of winter and the sweltering heat of summer alike—a flower that stood firm and flowering no matter the weather.
Ania loved that about it.
Gazing at the Geumdonghwa that remained always in its place, unchanging, she even felt a quiet peace settle over her heart.
Yet even as she looked upon her favorite flower, Ania's heart only sank deeper into tangled unease.
Yesterday, I was sorry.
Sorry.
What had that meant?
Her heart had been sulky, and she had answered without thinking; now she could not know what he had intended.
Sorry for not answering? Or sorry for ignoring her?
Neither meaning was welcome.
In the end it meant he had disregarded her words.
In the end it meant his affection for her had cooled.
Ania shuddered as she felt her body sinking into deep, dark water.
No—it was not merely a feeling. It was real. Her lower abdomen throbbed, and a dull ache pulled taut across her back.
I knew I wasn't feeling well…
Why did her monthly cycle have to arrive today of all days?
If her already sunken mood made her nerves any more raw… she might snap at Edward again for no reason at all.
And then he would only hate her more.
Even though her body ached, Ania let out a small, wry laugh at herself for worrying about that first.
I will not be betrayed this time. I will not give my heart first.
She had sworn those vows, yet before she knew it her heart had filled with nothing but thoughts of that man.
She found herself ridiculous for constantly craving affection from him.
But even if she broke herself in the process, Ania did not want to let Edward go.
The feeling kept overflowing until she could no longer gather it back up.
"With this, we conclude the demonstration."
A sharp scent of gunpowder hung over the wide circular arena, and the matchlock demonstration had ended in success.
From the raised platform the Crown Prince applauded with clear satisfaction; no accidents had marred the event.
Of course the hostile stares of the anti-imperial nobles—those who still clung to the sanctity and legitimacy of the sword—pricked like thorns…
Yet the age of the gun was coming.
At present a matchlock that took a full minute to load and fire might seem an unremarkable weapon, but one day that weapon would reshape the very balance of this world.
In that sense the Crown Prince was a man ahead of his time.
If only I could forge a connection with him…
Faint memories of the novel stirred.
If my recollection was correct, he would one day ascend the imperial throne.
Unfortunately I had no immediate pretext for drawing closer to him.
As Edward Radner, son of a crumbling baronial house, even exchanging words with someone as exalted as the Crown Prince was like plucking stars from the sky.
I scanned the crowd filing out of the grounds, then murmured to the attendant seated beside me.
"We should be heading back soon."
"I shall have the carriage ready at once."
The attendant bowed and slipped into the departing throng.
Evening was drawing near.
By the time I reached the mansion the sun would already have set.
Which meant dinner.
In the mansion's dining room…
Would Ania refuse to share a meal with me again today?
I had apologized, yet her anger was surely far from spent.
Still, we could not go on like this forever, cold and distant.
The very lifeline of the Radner family hung upon Ania's goodwill.
Which meant, in the end, that I would have to be the one to yield.
"Hah…"
I let out a long sigh—and that was when it happened.
"Is something troubling you?"
A low, clear voice rose suddenly from my right. I spun around in surprise and found a figure I had never expected to see.
A beautiful young man whose golden hair alone proclaimed the noble blood that ran in his veins.
"If you wouldn't mind, I could listen to that worry of yours."
The Crown Prince of the Empire.
Eldrigon Leonhart.
"I have been most eager to meet you."
As I followed Eldrigon down the corridors of the imperial palace, he spoke over his shoulder.
"Me… Your Highness?"
"Yes. Edward Radner. You."
Why on earth me?
I longed to ask, yet noble etiquette forbade it, so I buried the question and walked on in silence behind him.
Presently Eldrigon stopped before a door where a butler and a maid stood waiting. The moment they saw him they bowed low and opened the door with practiced grace.
"Come in."
It was not his private office.
It was a reception room prepared for guests, yet so lavish that one could easily have mistaken it for a working study.
In the breathless tension I summoned every scrap of protocol I could recall.
One must never look a member of the imperial family full in the face; every action must express gratitude.
And… one must never sit before the imperial personage has taken a seat.
I entered the reception room and stood before a chair. Eldrigon smiled.
"Haha, just as I heard—you are a proper fellow. Sit comfortably. There is no need for ceremony in my presence."
I took the words for empty courtesy, yet the moment the door closed Eldrigon crossed one leg over the other and settled into his seat with complete ease—so much so that the dignity of royalty seemed almost to vanish.
"I am deeply grateful for the honor of this personal invitation. It is beyond anything I deserve."
"No need to stand on ceremony, I told you. I simply wished to speak with you."
He smiled faintly.
"Unburdening oneself is never easy. It can feel like a burden. So I shall ask first. How… is married life treating you? Enjoyable, I hope?"
When my expression betrayed that he had struck the mark, Eldrigon laughed heartily.
"Ahaha. Not particularly enjoyable, it seems."
"……"
"Married to the woman called the greatest beauty in the empire, and still not enjoying it… You are a greedy man."
"That is not so, Your Highness. I am enjoying it."
"I am only joking."
He chuckled as though genuinely amused and took a sip of the tea set upon the table.
"I understand perfectly. Ania is a rather exhausting child, after all."
"You seem to know my wife well."
"Indeed. She was a younger sister I rather doted on. I was quite surprised when she announced her marriage—because she herself said she wished to marry."
"My wife… said so herself?"
"You are hearing this for the first time, I take it."
He made an intrigued little sound and smiled, eyes crinkling.
"Ania never told you?"
"No… she did not."
"Truly an unchanging child."
The young Crown Prince pursed his lips, rose from his seat, and walked to the window.
The evening light that had settled outside was painting the reception room in hues of crimson.
"That child rarely ever speaks what is inside her. People around her have always adjusted themselves to her, so she may simply believe that is how things ought to be."
I did not know how to answer, so I listened quietly to his words.
"Because of that, one can find her a little stifling, a little troublesome. Is that not so?"
"She is more than I deserve."
"Lip service always shows on the face, Edward. I can see clearly enough that you are having a hard time because of her."
Eldrigon's calm, pinpoint accuracy left me no choice but to concede.
"Your Highness is correct."
"Haha. Still, I entrust her to you. Ania may seem a bit childish at times, yet she chose to marry you, so she must have taken a liking to you, Edward."
He clapped his hands once, and the doors of the reception room swung wide open.
"You should be on your way now. Ania will be waiting for you."
"Yes… I shall take Your Highness's words to heart."
I stepped out under his escort.
The path leading out of the palace lay to the right; the Crown Prince's office corridor stretched to the left.
Surrounded by attendants, he walked slowly down the right-hand corridor, then suddenly turned back toward me.
"Edward!"
"Yes, Your Highness."
"There was something I particularly wanted to say, and I nearly forgot."
Eldrigon wore a smile whose depths I could not fathom as he spoke.
"It is important for a husband and wife to talk a great deal. Because a heart is something you cannot know unless it is spoken."
"I shall keep that in mind."
"Then go carefully. We shall meet again if the chance arises."
I bowed low, and Eldrigon walked steadily away.
A heart is something you cannot know unless it is spoken…
Turning his words over in my mind, I climbed into the carriage bound for the mansion.
Before I knew it… the evening had grown deep.