The First Failing Student (2)

"So that's how you see it."

She looked so used to discarding herself. It made my heart ache. All the more because Selena was my favorite character.

"Is something the matter?"

Unease clouded her neat features. It was clearly because of my reaction.

"No. I just wondered if you really needed to go that far."

"Then is there some better way?"

"Doesn't it feel like a cursed doll?"

"Pardon?"

"Forgetting your own flaws. You thought you'd left them behind, but before you know it, they've come right back."

‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠

Selena swallowed hard without a word. From the look of her, she had some idea what I meant.

"I heard this from someone once. The ugly parts of yourself, the old wounds—you don't cast them off. You carry them with you."

"But… to be perfect…"

"Perfect. Yeah, if you want to be perfect, that's probably the right way. But listen. You don't actually have to be perfect."

"Then what am I supposed to do? If I don't become perfect, I can't stay in this place."

"If you keep carrying the pain, the vessel of your heart grows larger."

"The vessel of my heart?"

Tears welled in her eyes, glittering so piercingly beautiful that for a second I nearly confessed everything. My ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠awareness was being sucked straight into them.

I cleared my throat as best I could and pressed on.

"It means you become able to hold even the ugly parts and call them yourself."

"I don't think I can do that."

"Do you hate yourself?"

She flinched, eyes going round. After a long hesitation she finally nodded.

"Well, I don't hate you."

"What?"

"If there are parts of yourself you think are ugly… want your teacher to carry them for you instead?"

"No, that would be—"

"Until you're spacious enough to hold those ugly parts yourself, I mean. Sometimes when a lump-sum payment is rough, you put it on installments, right? Same idea."

"Ah."

She made a troubled face. Had I overstepped by acting like we already had some private intimacy?

"If that happens… will I end up indebted to you, Sion-seonsaeng-nim?"

"Pretty much. But don't worry. For a ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠student who's struggling, I offer interest-free terms."

"Why would you go that far for me?"

In the game, Selena had been a woman of backbone. She had willingly thrown herself into danger for the protagonist, lost her power, and supported her comrades from afar.

Even when she suffered a sudden accident, her expression barely changed. Part of that was because it was a game, but no matter the situation, if there was something she could do, she offered herself without hesitation.

People had been captivated by Selena's looks. I had fallen for the thoughtful, genuine core of her personality. Even if she was an R-grade character with the absolute worst performance, the kind you used for a minute in the tutorial and then tossed aside.

I had poured every resource I had into raising her.

And now the anxious, trembling expression in front of me stirred something deep. That fragile side, rarely visible in the game, left a sharp ache in my chest.

"Just… I can't leave Selena alone anymore."

"What?"

"Your teacher really loves maids, you see."

"Ah."

She let out a short sigh. Her blank face looked almost disappointed.

If I was going to help Selena without forming a real bond, this was the best I could do. She would definitely be put off by a sudden confession of taste. She was supposed to support the protagonist, not me. I told myself I'd handled it correctly.

"If that's the reason… I can feel less guilty about it."

"Huh?"

"Sion-seonsaeng-nim."

Somehow a soft, settled smile appeared on her face. Selena rummaged for something and held it out to me.

Her phone.

"Please give me your contact information."

"My number?"

"Yes. If we're doing installment payments… I think I'll need Sion-seonsaeng-nim's contact."

"Ah, if that's all. Sure, okay."

With a trembling heart I ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠took out my own phone and tapped it against hers. A brief vibration, and our contacts transferred to each other.

"May I send you a NanaTalk?"

"Yeah. Anytime. I'm free for the time being."

"Hehe. Thank you, Sion-seonsaeng-nim."

A bright, gentle smile I had never seen in-game. She tilted her head to the side as she showed it to me.

"I'll see you tomorrow."

"Huh? Tomorrow?"

"You said I could come by anytime for a change of pace."

"I did. I was just worried you might be busy."

"I'm free as well. For a little while, at least."

"Then that's good."

Selena rose elegantly and bowed her head. My eyes kept drifting somewhere other than her face, but I forced my attention back under control.

I thought I'd said something pretty cool, yet now I worried she might take it as me having ulterior motives.

She walked out of the office with a light, swaying step. Just before the door closed, Selena bowed once more. She was still smiling softly.

I gave her an awkward little wave goodbye.

"My face… looked okay, right?"

Morning of the third day. I came in to work.

Too many thoughts had kept me up late, so I had skipped breakfast. After filling my roommate's stomach and heading out, my own guts were growling.

"Koreans run on rice, damn it."

Without much thought I swiped my access card and pressed the button. The sliding door glided smoothly aside.

"Huh? Selena?"

"Seonsaeng-nim!?"

Selena was standing near my desk. She spun around in a flustered panic.

How did she get in?

"What are you doing here first thing in the morning?"

"Well… I was grateful. I was doing something maid-like."

"Maid-like? Don't tell me you cleaned this place?"

"Yes. Housework is pretty much the only thing I'm good at."

"'Pretty much'? Do you have any idea how impressive someone who handles housework well actually is?"

"Is that so?"

"Yeah. I lived alone for a while, so I know. Laundry, cleaning—and trying to cook every single meal yourself? It's no joke. Made me realize all over again how amazing my mom was."

"Thank you, Sion-seonsaeng-nim."

She smiled shyly and tucked her hair behind her ear. After some awkward fidgeting and dithering—

"Well then, I'll be going."

"Huh? Didn't you have something you wanted to say?"

"No. Cleaning was the whole point."

"Ahh. You went to a lot of trouble."

"Have a good day."

"Yeah, you too."

Before I could finish she shot out of the room like an arrow. I idly breathed in the faint fragrance she had left behind, then flinched in surprise.

"The air quality really does feel different. And I just got here—I hadn't even tidied up yet."

She had rearranged the furniture so that her careful consideration practically radiated from the room. Maybe she wanted me to catch some sunlight even while doing paperwork. Warm light now fell across the desk.

"A flower pot, huh. I'm terrible at keeping plants alive."

Some unknown flower giving off a sweet scent. The white petals somehow reminded me of Selena.

"Hm?"

I leaned blankly against the desk and something stuck to my palm.

"What is this? Water from the pot?"

It was a bit too cloudy for water. Slippery, almost.

"Sniff sniff."

Wait. This smell…

I startled and hurriedly yanked out a tissue to wipe it off. Then I stared at the liquid still clinging to the edge of the desk.

Nah. No way. It couldn't be.

With a trembling hand I wiped that part clean as well.

Ding.

"Huh."

What is this? So the system actually gets updates? More importantly, why did a random student suddenly get locked onto Selena?

A weekly quest meant it had to be finished this week. Today was Wednesday. Four days left.

"There's no penalty for failing the quest, right?"

I felt an oddly insistent pressure not to dodge it and just clear it. How should I put it… like it was deliberately handing me a custom-made quest?

"Better to do the counseling quest first, right? I don't know what that system is, but it feels more ethical than the one above it."

Counseling, though. It had been a locked feature until now. I'd have to wait and see what it was actually for.

"Haaah."

Even if the game was unfriendly, once it became reality it could at least try to be a little nicer, right? No… thinking about my past life, the historical accuracy was actually pretty solid.

Compared to the difficulty of Earth Online, this was a cakewalk.

If simply talking with Selena already counted as counseling, then was I done for today? Two more counseling sessions within the remaining four days…

"Creampie? What is this, some kind of erotic game?"

Oh wait. This was a B-grade game world drowning in sex jokes. The characters and the protagonist constantly traded filthy banter in that deranged storyline.

Ero… game?

Anyway, I'd just watch how things developed. It was a weekly quest with no hard deadline set yet. I could always push it to next week, right?

Ding.

"Yes, sir. Understood."

Now I got it. Whoever sent me here was watching me in real time. And playing with me!

Why the hell did I have to get isekai'd into this trash game? If I'd known it would turn out like this, I never would have trolled in the first place.

"Oh."

As I leaned on the desk and let out a deep sigh, my phone buzzed. For a second I hoped it was Selena, only to shudder when I saw the name on the screen.

Chairman of Celestia Academy. Metis.

Those six letters—Chairman Metis—filled me with dread. Of course they did. The other party was an AI girl with superintelligence.

If she ever figured out that I was a human from another world and that this place was a game world…

Well, then I'd just tell her to go look for a tile with a traffic light on it. And while she was searching, I'd run.