Chapter 9
Chapter 9
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Translator: penny
Chapter: 9
Chapter Title: Do You Not Like Me?
-----------------------------------------------------------------
The week she had desperately prayed would never arrive passed by in the blink of an eye, as if mocking Esther.
She prayed for the trading ship to return soon, yet she found herself contradictorily wishing to avoid the confrontation with Helios that would come before it. With that realization, Esther threw on a shirt the moment she got out of bed.
"Guild Master, are you all prepared?"
From the crack of dawn, Carter's voice knocked at her door, and Esther instinctively knew she could delay no longer.
Opening the door, she saw Carter waiting just outside, stepping aside smoothly as if on cue.
"Everything is ready for departure."
"Alright, let's go."
The morning air was a bit chilly, so as Esther stepped out, she grabbed her coat from the wall hook with one hand.
Outside the building, a single wagon loaded to the brim with goods awaited them.
"We're heading out."
Confirming that Esther and Carter had boarded, the coachman gave a light tug on the reins, and the horses surged forward as if they'd been eager for the signal.
"At least the sunlight's nice today. That's a relief. With things like butter or dairy, we can't transport them in the rain—we'd have to split the shipments."
Esther wholeheartedly agreed with Carter's words.
Just one trip to the Imperial Palace filled her with dread, but the thought of facing Helios twice over made revulsion swell up like a tide.
For a fleeting moment, Esther wondered if she wouldn't have felt this vague inferiority complex toward Helios's ambiguous actions—whether they were help or not—if she had become as capable a guild master as Ete.
"It's good for the guild, in truth, but..."
Just the idea of getting tangled up with Helios filled her with aversion.
Realizing her own emotions, Esther let out a sigh. What good was a second life if she was still harboring such childish thoughts?
She knew this wasn't something to handle emotionally, yet here she was, letting personal feelings cloud her judgment on official business.
"What was that?"
Carter, seated across from her and gazing out the window, turned at the sound of her sigh. Esther just weakly shook her head.
She knew it was her own failing—her lack of ability—yet she couldn't help but pitifully seek excuses from the outside world to run away.
Before the boredom could set in, the carriage slowed to a stop near the rear entrance of the Imperial Palace.
As the final jolt faded, Carter opened the door with practiced ease and stepped down.
Esther was just about to follow him to the ground when—
"Th-the Empire's Little Sun... I-I greet Your Highness the Crown Prince."
Carter, who had alighted first, sounded utterly flustered.
Esther desperately hoped she'd misheard the words that reached her ears.
But that hope was cruelly dashed. Otherwise, that familiar voice wouldn't have rung out.
"Indeed. Welcome."
A low, resonant timbre responded curtly to Carter. At the same time, Esther lifted her head, which she'd been keeping lowered to watch her step.
There, before her, golden hair shimmered dazzlingly in the sunlight.
Helios. For some reason, the man was standing right in front of her, curving his thin red lips into a small smile.
"We meet again, Guild Master."
"I greet the Empire's Little Sun, Your Highness the Crown Prince."
Esther, still half in the carriage in an awkward half-bow, managed her greeting.
She thought she heard a soft chuckle from above her head, but she had no desire to confirm it.
"You look quite uncomfortable greeting me from in there."
Esther scowled, head still bowed. She wondered if he knew and was deliberately making her greet him here of all places.
People don't change, she realized once more. Then, a large hand suddenly appeared before her eyes.
"You look rather worn out. Was the carriage ride that unpleasant? Are you alright, Guild Master?"
Helios extended his hand, his voice brimming with concern.
A surge of resentment bubbled up—why hadn't he offered his hand so easily back then?
He noticed her brief fatigue from the short ride but had ignored her when it felt like the world was collapsing around her.
At first, it was pure fear. Then came the terror that the past would repeat itself.
Brief hope and endless despair had gnawed at her for a week straight.
Now, only anger and resentment toward them remained.
Why, when you knew me so well, did you never once help me? Esther wanted to grab Helios by the collar and demand answers.
But it was impossible. He had no memory of it.
What if all those memories had been erased? Would things have changed? Would she have thrown herself at him again, like a moth knowing it would burn upon touching the flame?
"Are you still not feeling well, perhaps?"
Her swirling thoughts snapped at Helios's words.
Esther replied to him, her emotions still uncomposed.
"I'm fine."
Instead of taking the hand he offered, she gripped the edge of his sleeve and stepped down from the carriage.
Her gaze stayed fixed on the ground. She lacked the courage to face Helios.
"Thank you for your consideration, Your Highness."
As if fleeing a crawling insect's touch, Esther quickly released his arm.
Fortunately, Carter stood right in front of her the moment she alighted, beckoning her subtly. Without hesitation, she moved toward him.
"......"
Helios gently caressed his wrist where her hand had touched, the sensation still vivid. It was an unconscious gesture amid the strange unease rising again.
Ever since that day, something had felt off. After meeting Esther at the funeral, he'd started having bizarre dreams.
Screams of people, Esther staring at him with eyes full of resentment from ahead. And...
"Your Highness, shall I introduce the goods?"
Snapping to attention, Helios responded nonchalantly.
"Let's head inside first."
The servants waiting at the rear entrance sprang into motion. Esther, who had kept Helios waiting for days, approached the carriage to lend a hand with the unloading.
"Guild Master."
"Yes, Your Highness."
Helios's heart sank at the sight of her head bowed, eyes averted.
He'd known it wasn't his imagination, but confirming it again felt like his heart was being shredded.
Helios grew urgent. He wanted to ask what was wrong—what had gone awry.
Perhaps there were words she couldn't say back then, with people around.
Clinging to that faint hope, Helios wanted to speak with Esther once more. Just the two of them, without anyone else.
"Won't you come up with me first and talk?"
"As for matters related to our past dealings, Carter knows far more than I. It would be better if we both—"
As Esther turned to call Carter, the desperate Helios grabbed her wrist. Startled, she shook off his hand.
"Forgive me, Your Highness."
"No, don't apologize. I grabbed you without a word."
Watching her polite, straightforward apology, Helios felt his insides burn black.
Even before Ete's death, she hadn't been this guarded. The thought that he had to somehow make amends circled relentlessly in his mind.
"I have something to tell you alone. So, come up first."
"If you command it, I shall obey. Forgive me for failing to discern your intent, Your Highness."
As Esther slightly turned her head, her red hair fluttered in the air like petals falling from a blooming rose. Helios cleared his throat softly, feeling a strange stiffness in his body from her sweet scent.
"Then let's go in."
Helios hurried through the rear entrance to hide his emotions, unable to mask his regret.
If only Esther had walked ahead of him, he could have at least savored the sight. With such thoughts, he quickened his pace to his reception room.
"What is it you wish to ask? Though my skills are lacking, I'll answer anything I can."
The moment they entered the room, Esther fired off her question as if she'd been waiting.
"Won't you have some tea first? His Majesty mentioned wanting to increase trade volume with the Elpis Merchant Group, so this might take a while."
Helios pressed a button on the table, and soon a maid entered, placing teacups before them. A soft pouring sound accompanied warm steam rising gently.
"Sit down for now."
Following Helios as he took his seat, Esther leaned back on the sofa.
This situation—left alone with him—was exactly what she'd wanted to avoid, and the moment she realized she couldn't endure the silence, she spoke up.
"Regarding the trade..."
"You..."
Both spoke at once, their words tangling.
Esther had no choice but to close her mouth. No commoner would dare continue over the Crown Prince.
Helios pressed on, frustration in his voice.
"Is it true there's truly nothing I've done wrong to you? Do you simply not like me?"
"Pardon?"
At the unexpected question, Esther looked up to see Helios anxiously stroking the teacup handle.
"Our first meeting didn't seem so bad."
Helios finally voiced what he'd kept bottled up.
The secret only they shared, unspoken since learning he was the Crown Prince. Helios was certain her reaction then had been at least fondness.
"Wasn't that meeting enjoyable for you? I won't hold it against you for my sake as Crown Prince, so tell me the truth."
"......"
"Or were you angry that I didn't reveal I was the Crown Prince? Is that why you couldn't say, because of my position?"
Once the words spilled out, Helios's grievances poured forth like a burst dam.
Watching her lips part and close nervously made his throat dry.
"I want to be close to you. Not just as the guild master of a trading partner, but also..."
Helios rushed on without waiting for a reply.
"...as the free-spirited woman who smiled at me so brightly without pretense and led her guild with her own skills."
It's over, Helios thought. His face burned; he'd revealed too much. Proof came as the silent Esther beside him said nothing.
Unable to grasp what to say next, another cold dagger pierced his heart.
"To befriend Your Highness? That's absurd."
"What?"
At the ridiculous response, Helios forgot his embarrassment and stared at her.
"I know my place. How could I not? I'm just a commoner, and meeting Your Highness like this is pure luck."
"......"
"Don't keep a mere commoner around on a whim of fleeting fancy or curiosity. I've forgotten everything from that day. Nothing remains for me."
Helios felt as if he'd been struck hard on the head by something.