Chapter 4
Chapter 4
Discipline Officer Shin Seoa
Bang.
Bang.
Bang.
"Hey, wake up! Our PD has turned into a woodpecker!"
At Sia's cheerful shout, the girls sprawled around the room slowly rubbed their eyes awake.
"Hurry up! Otherwise you're seriously going to miss a once-in-a-lifetime sight!"
"Whaaat is it..."
"Our PD is smashing his head into the wall really hard!"
"No way, really?"
At Sia's words, the other three who had still been asleep gradually sat up.
Thud! Thud! Thud!
I was crouched in the corner of the room, wrapped in a blanket up to my neck, continuously bashing my head against the wall.
Had I ever felt this utterly screwed in my entire life?
No.
Never.
Seriously.
Fuck!
Why the hell did I do that?
I hadn't blacked out from drinking since my college days...
"My, my~ Our PD Jongwoo."
Nana, who had been sleeping with her leg draped over my thigh just moments ago, flashed a sly smile and spoke in flawless Korean.
"Congratulations on becoming a sex offender~ Everybody clap~ Yay~"
After Nana, Stella crawled out from under the bed, yawned widely, and pulled out her phone.
"So our PD Jongwoo is going to prison now?"
"Hey."
"He'll get out pretty quickly though. It's his first offense, and he can afford a lawyer. Maybe four or five years? They won't give him ten years just for touching four idols."
"PD Jongwoo will probably be out around the time we release our third album."
"You pervert! I never thought you were that kind of person!"
Even Sia joined in, throwing a pillow at me.
"We're just delicate trainees who haven't even debuted yet! You're awful! Pervert! I'm calling a lawyer right now, and if you don't pay a settlement, I'll MeToo you!"
"Hic... S-shouldn't we call the police...?"
Taeri had completely covered her chest and was sniffling in the corner.
With Nana, Stella, and Sia's merciless assault combined with Taeri's tears, my mental state shattered completely.
'Fuck...'
Would it be better to spend the rest of my life eating prison food?
Or should I bite my tongue and end it all right now to escape this humiliation?
Fuck, I should've controlled my drinking.
I couldn't believe I'd gotten blackout drunk and ended up like this at my age.
Throwing away this wonderful job and my entire life to become a sex offender...
Just as I was seriously weighing suicide against imprisonment—
"Pwahahahahaha!"
"My stomach hurts! Hic! Look how pale PD's face is!"
The girls collapsed onto the floor, laughing so hard they could barely breathe.
Sia was wiping tears from her eyes as she slapped my shoulder.
"Ah, we're joking! We're joking! Nothing happened, okay? You got too hyped up dancing and passed out first."
"Then why didn't you just leave me there? Why drag me into your room?!"
"Were we supposed to abandon our PD on that chilly rooftop floor? The four of us struggled together and carried you up here. You're heavier than you look."
"Then why are all my clothes gone?! Wait a second, you girls were all sleeping half naked too!"
At my protest, Nana casually shrugged.
"Ah, that? You were sweating buckets and saying you were hot, so we took them off so you could sleep comfortably."
"Then why the hell are all of you sleeping naked?"
"We always sleep like that when it's just us girls. It's more comfortable. What's the problem?"
"You girls are seriously... Wow, I genuinely thought my life was over..."
As I shouted angrily, Sia suddenly moved right in front of my face.
At a distance so close it made my heart skip a beat, she smiled with her eyes and whispered.
"PD, if your life was really going to be ruined anyway, wouldn't it have been better to actually touch us instead of getting falsely accused? At least then you'd be a sex offender because you committed the crime, not because you got framed."
"...You know, when you put it that way, that actually makes sense."
It was only for a split second, but her seductive smile caught me off guard and I found myself nodding sincerely.
Stella grinned and suddenly said something bizarre.
"Alright, balance game! If you had to touch one of us and go to prison, who would you pick?"
"What kind of fucked-up question is that all of a sudden...?"
"Come on. Pick one."
"Wait a minute..."
At that, Taeri, who had been quietly sitting in the corner, started crying giant tears.
"Waaah... T-that question is even scarier... PD really looks like he's considering it..."
"Alright, alright. My bad. It was a joke. Now stop messing around and bring me my clothes. I need to get dressed and leave."
"Hold on. I'll find them."
At my urging, Stella began rummaging through the mountain-sized pile of laundry in the corner of the room.
Bras, panties, pajamas, and underwear in every color imaginable flew through the air.
"Why are you looking for my clothes in your underwear pile...?"
"That's where we usually throw laundry."
"Do you girls ever do laundry?"
"When we run out of things to wear."
"They say girls' high schools are filthy, but you girls are really—"
Bang!
I hadn't even finished speaking.
The dormitory door flew open as someone stormed inside.
"Did you forget you have dance practice this morning? Do you know what time it is? Why haven't you come down ye—!"
The owner of that cold, razor-sharp voice was Secretary Shin Seoa, dressed in her usual immaculate suit.
Her words suddenly stopped.
Secretary Shin's frozen gaze slowly swept across the room.
Stella digging through a pile of lingerie.
Three half-naked beauties wandering around.
And me, sitting in the corner in nothing but boxers, wrapped in a blanket with a bright red face.
Exactly three seconds later, a terrifying killing intent began radiating from behind Secretary Shin.
Like a demon crawling straight out of hell, she slowly turned her head.
Her eyes landed on Nana, who had been teasing me the hardest.
"Miyazaki Nana. Explain."
The instant Secretary Shin's icy voice fell, Nana's eyes began darting around wildly.
The same Nana who had been speaking perfect Korean moments earlier hurriedly waved her hands.
"Eeeh...? Seoa Onni... Nana, Korean is very difficult... Nana doesn't understand anything Seoa Onni is saying... I know nothing... absolutely nothing..."
Watching Nana instantly switch into full Japanese mode the moment things became inconvenient nearly gave me aphasia.
"H-Hey! You were speaking Korean perfectly fine just a second ago! What does that make me?!"
"W-Watashi also know nothing..."
"Yusia, Stella. Then you explain."
"Uh... We should probably go to dance practice!"
"Yeah! I suddenly feel like dancing! Let's go, girls!"
"Y-Yeah!"
Sensing danger, the four quick-witted girls hurriedly grabbed clothes, got dressed, and bolted out the door before Secretary Shin could stop them.
Leaving me behind.
"PD Lee Jongwoo."
"..."
"PD LEE JONGWOO!!!!!"
"...No, seriously, nothing happened. I just got drunk and fell asleep, and they dragged me into the room—"
"WHY WERE YOU DRINKING WITH IDOLS?!"
That morning, I sat kneeling on the dormitory floor in nothing but my underwear while Secretary Shin verbally tore me apart.
Every expression of contempt available in the human language assaulted my ears.
Animal.
Trash.
Dog in heat.
All sorts of labels were branded onto my forehead and ripped away again.
Only when my legs started going numb did Secretary Shin finally release me.
"Hehehe, PD Lee. Looks like you had quite the exciting morning. Being young is nice."
"Go to hell, President. Nothing happened."
Seeing President Park Hoseong clutching his stomach and laughing at my miserable state in the hallway, I raised my middle finger at him.
His laughter didn't last long.
Secretary Shin slowly turned her head.
Her cold eyes locked onto President Park.
"President Park. You left work early yesterday at three o'clock and practically ran away, didn't you? I've already checked the corporate card records for the premium beef purchase. Come over here. You're getting punished too."
"Huh? N-No, Secretary Shin. PD Lee took the card to buy meat for the girls—"
"Did you think I wouldn't know you have another corporate card?"
"...Agh!"
In the end, President Park ended up kneeling beside me without even getting a proper chance to defend himself.
For an entire hour, we were forced to listen to a terrifying lecture about maintaining the dignity of a startup entertainment company, professional ethics, and trainee protection regulations.
After the storm passed through the president's office.
The two men slumped miserably on the sofa let out deep sighs at exactly the same time.
"Haa..."
President Park scratched his bird's nest of hair and muttered.
"...PD Lee. Want to grab a beer?"
"Sounds good. I'll go fill up two glasses from the break room machine right now."
"But you still smell like alcohol."
"It's hair-of-the-dog medicine."
Was my work life really going to be okay at this rate?