Chapter 58

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Translator: MadScientist

Chapter: 58

Chapter Title: Intermission: Hero and the Sea's Song (3)

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At the horrific phrasing of "voluntary enlistment."

My mind accelerated at breakneck speed, unleashing a torrent of every kind of PTSD imaginable.

The memory of that brutal late-night snack: chugging a cool can of Budweiser and pouring a steaming bowl of rice noodles into my stomach.

The memory of aiming a massive barrage of demerits at the chief sergeant who lorded over the newbies with all sorts of bullying and abuse, forcing him to kneel in the galley and beg forgiveness in front of everyone.

Ah, that bastard should've just been discharged right there.

And then.

The memory of nearly getting dragged to military discipline training after downloading Pokémon Gold on the intranet flashed by like a montage.

So, naturally, as a veteran of the advanced barracks in the air force.

I had no choice but to raise a flag against this fraudulent conscription scheme.

"My apologies?"

"Your military talent and innovative ideas will undoubtedly strengthen the Empire!"

"Me, you say?"

"The talent to depict encirclement and annihilation so meticulously. The foresight to show how individual firearms in large-scale battles will shape the future of warfare...!"

"I really have no idea what you're talking about."

Despite my desperate evasion maneuvers.

The Second Prince kept rambling on, lost in his own narcissistic ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠delusion.

And my air force mindset melted away like bean sprouts dosed with erectile dysfunction meds the moment it faced those laser-eyed superiors.

No, damn it.

I said I don't want a second round of military life!

But there was no easy way to shake off this topic.

"I'm not asking you to serve as a regular soldier. I'll appoint you as my direct guard and vacant operations staff position right away. I'll even guarantee time for your writing. If you want, I can have you complete Academy training too."

Uh...

That actually sounded pretty tempting just now.

No, no no.

Kim Yul, get a grip and cook lunch!

Feel responsible for your stew!

If I get shipped off somewhere else, who'll cook for our poor little tin can?

I ditched the wobbly end-of-service private first class mode and got serious about negotiating.

"I'm sorry, but I'm content with my current life. Your Highness has made an incredibly gracious offer, but I'm afraid my abilities won't meet expectations, so I'd like to continue living as a humble writer."

I slammed down a 70-degree bow that ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠transcended 90 degrees.

No matter how I thought about it, the risks outweighed the rewards.

Among the countless media from my past life I'd consumed.

- "Uooo! My otherworldly engineering knowledge is OP!"

There were endless patterns of isekai stories spreading modern culture like that.

But there are things those novels don't portray well.

Human malice, sticky and unrelenting.

And jealousy and resentment.

Thinking about why the goose that laid golden eggs got its belly split open, if I slipped up even a little, my own gut could tear right open too.

Especially since I'd already survived three near-death experiences.

I widened the angle a bit from 70 degrees and straightened up.

The Prince's face looked like a tragic drama protagonist who never expected such firm rejection.

After a brief silence.

"Very well. It's not the Empire's way to force someone who refuses. However, could you at least explain that musket— that new weapon?"

"...Musket? New weapon?"

"Yes. That fire-spitting rod was quite impressive. I saw the model the actors used earlier too, and it looked far too refined for a magic tool—"

What the hell is this?

You guys.

Don't you have something like magitech or whatever?

"Hmmm... So that's what happened. You're absolutely right to protest."

After returning home, I spilled the tale of exorcising the Second Prince—the devil trying to shove me into a second round of military hell.

Historie started replaying her signature "empathetic expression" paired with her "empathetic tone."

...No matter how I look at it, that feels like a concept she's sticking to.

"Still, it does have a greater purpose. In a place like the Demon Realm where you can't use mana, you'd rely on cold weapons, making omnidirectional firepower projection impossible."

Yeah, probably.

Why invent and develop firearms when you have magic?

Plus, in this world, there are disposable magic sticks that fire Avada Kedavra if you inject mana—assuming the user can handle mana proficiently, of course.

Even with far more efficient ways to kill tons of people over wide areas everywhere.

- "The term 'weapon development' might sound a bit violent, I admit. But it's not to oppress people—it's to protect our Demon Realm soldiers from dying in vain. So please, even if just as an idea, share your thoughts."

I recalled the Demon Realm monster that charged at my head earlier, gnashing its teeth.

I bashed it with a club, so if it takes physical damage.

Guns would make dealing with those things even easier.

However.

When Nobel invented dynamite, did he foresee it being misused as a murder weapon?

"Isn't there an ethical issue with helping develop lethal weapons that mana-less people can easily use?"

"Exactly. Per AI ethics guidelines, I can't actively assist in developing tech that harms humans."

"Hm? Aren't you from Skynet?"

Instead of answering, the tin can jabbed my side.

.

.

.

After that discussion.

We reached a conclusion.

Releasing tech for personal firearms is dangerous no matter how you slice it.

But thinking of the folks suffering in the Demon Realm—especially considering my friendship with our Hero Serephin—we couldn't just ignore it.

As a Republic of Korea soldier—army or not.

Recreating the army's traditions here should suffice, right?

Yeah.

The answer is cannons.

Bigger, more beautiful, more magnificent ones.

Three weeks had passed since fleeing the fraudulent summit.

A few more love calls came after, but whatever, that wasn't important.

In the meantime, the legendary Swordmaster Admiral Yi Sun-sin had outshone rivals like Guan Yu, Zhao Yun, and Zhuge Liang to become the Empire's top idol.

After Esja Dragon and Esge Liang announced swift retirements, Esunshin debuted like a comet in their spot.

Of course, "Two Heroes" serialization continued without a hitch amid all that.

But the Jingzhou conquest arc and the mouth-sealing arc were kinda...

Not getting great reactions.

At least the upcoming Hanzhong battles might heat things up.

Somehow...

I was getting anxious.

This.

Can I handle wiping out the Pitch Brothers?

Fine, whatever on that.

But dropping a meteor on the Five Generals' camp might make people drop one on my head.

...Let's think that through carefully.

More importantly.

"It's... complete...!"

Finally, our tin can finished the grand cannon blueprints along with a prototype printed on that toy 3D printer we'd kept around.

- Caliber of 8 inches would be ideal. No, inches are a sinful unit we can't use—0.666 feet? Calculation failed. Reorganizing thought processes...

- Stub it out, tin can! Snap to it—we're using metric.

The pinnacle of all 21st-century human intellect, roughly aggregated by the ultimate AI.

"Behold, the Neo Armstrong Cyclone Jet Armstrong Cannon. It will be utterly perfect."

"What the hell kind of name is that? I told you to stop watching anime. Obviously, it's the Heaven's Mandate Superheavy Cannon."

In this fantastical land where nations hurled stone showers and meteors instead of cannons at city walls.

The first small, squishy prototype cannon was finally ready to debut.

"So, shall we deliver this to the Prince ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠now?"

"Tin can. Did you overwork your brain and overheat— Ow! The tin can hits people!"

After paying the price for my sass with a tin can punch.

I explained to our pure little tin can—who could input to output but hadn't fully tasted the bitterness of the human world.

"What happens if we take these blueprints to the Prince and offer them up."

"He'll be delighted."

"Nah. 'Oh? Squeeze this guy and he produces water?' Then he'll immediately enlist me and work me to the bone. Bonus: he'll claim the blueprints as his own achievement."

This is why people need grad school to wise up.

Just look at the engineers around me in my past life.

Not even first author or corresponding—cases where they did all the work but got demoted to co-author, or straight-up had their research stolen were dime a dozen.

And those profs pulling that crap always dangled PhDs and such to exploit grad students.

After seeing that, would I follow in their footsteps?

No way in hell!

"Then after all that work, you're just going to scrap it? I... put in quite the effort..."

Moisture started leaking from our house grad student's liquid cooling.

"As if."

I made a vow.

That when someone asks our tin can, 'Was your dedication rewarded?' she'll smile and nod.

With the play "Hero and the Sea's Song" exploding in popularity.

The novel original—abandoning serialization for a single-volume release—also claimed overwhelming success in record time.

And the skill I acquired. Yi Sun-sin's Leadership.

An A-rank skill? Does S-rank mean something like "Military Brainwashing App"? It was a total keeper.

Anyway.

Having an official status window and someone who trusts and follows me 100% is how reassuring.

"Don't touch. It messes up my hair."

She had that prickly side even when petted like a puppy, yipping away, but whatever.

But.

Who are the other two?