Chapter 35
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 35
Chapter Title: Liu Bei, Cao Cao, and Lü Bu (8)
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Ulysses Caesar's dice came up with a 4.
When he'd bet with Chloe, it meant luck on the level of Sogyil.
According to the gambler's creed of never betting unless you're certain, even that level of luck wasn't quite a sure thing.
But Kim Yul was the sort of man who didn't blindly trust the luck handed to him—instead, he used it as a foundation to carve out his own destiny.
Besides, even if he lost the bet, it wouldn't have mattered much.
Unlike the Cao Cao arc, where compromise was impossible, the Liu Bei arc had already involved quite a few liberties even in the original Romance.
Sword Master Liu Bei.
A Jangbi who's smart when you get to know him.
The fairest beauty in Xuzhou, Lady Mi.
It was the epitome of the author's convenience-driven settings.
Besides, the original historical tale was straight from the chronicles anyway—what did it matter if 150 steps became 300?
And then.
As the strategist proverb goes: "Man plans, but heaven decides."
"What? A bet? Sounds fun! With who? Where? Why?"
On the day of the showdown.
It was surely heaven's will that he ran into Esthea, who'd been prancing around the neighborhood noisily since morning.
Kim Yul spilled the whole story in a rush, and the more she heard, the more Esthea couldn't help but sympathize with him.
Of course, her angle was a bit different.
"How dare they! Trying to grab and shake my slave!"
"I'm not your slave... And your tail's sticking out."
His timid remark got drowned out by the flapping of her tail, but in any case, Esthea was now brimming with the desire to deliver a biased judgment in what should have been a fair bet.
Gazing down at the scene.
A wicked smile that seemed to whisper "just as planned" briefly flickered across Kim Yul's lips.
.
.
.
Of course, Esthea was a great and noble and fair dragon.
Sure, she had a slight—a very slight—streak of possessiveness, but she wasn't the type to abuse her power over petty squabbles.
If she were, Kim Yul and Historie would already be strung up together in her lair, dangling as writing machines.
However.
Up to the second arrow, which she'd lost purely on skill, that was fine.
Right before Chloe loosed her third arrow, Esthea furrowed her brow ever so slightly.
On the bowstring, the bow itself, the arrow.
The blessing of the wind spirit clung to them.
No matter how feeble that elf looked, with a spirit's blessing, the arrow could easily hit the spearhead planted there.
Esthea, who had already grabbed Kim Yul by the collar out of uncontrollable curiosity and devoured every last stockpiled volume, felt this was unfair.
Lü Bu's feat was achieved purely through her archery skills!
How dare she use a spirit's power!
In that instant, horns sprouted on her head only to vanish again.
And with that, the spirit's aura completely vanished from the field.
For a roll of 4, it was a disappointingly dull matchup.
And my fantasies came crashing down too.
Elves are usually the cliché archetype who excel with bows, right?
So if the dice came up ambiguous, I'd planned to soften the conditions as much as possible to minimize damage.
But to think she'd be this pathetic...
Well, suits me just fine.
"Looks like you lost the bet."
I was dying to rub it in, but provoking her too much here could backfire with resentment.
She might be a hopeless young lady, but she was still from a ducal house.
A commoner like me—with no title, no pedigree, no assets—getting too cocky could blow up in my face.
Live power must be handled with care, after all.
So.
"My condition is simple. Just sign this document I've prepared."
I handed over the papers containing my prepped Plan A.
Chloe took them limply and read through, then...
"Wh-what the elf...! This is utterly heinous!"
She shot me a glare with eyes blazing like fire.
"This is a slave contract, desuwa...! Unacceptable, desuwa...!"
"Hmm."
The loser... talking back?
...I wanted to whisper, but yeah, a lifetime slave contract surrendering body and soul is tough to swallow.
But.
That's how negotiations work.
Lead with a shocking demand that's impossible to accept, then follow up with something reasonable.
"Hmm, how about this instead?"
I snatched the trembling paper from her quivering hand and offered Plan B.
Would it work?
"Umm... this much...? B-but, my dignity, urgh..."
"If you don't like it, we can go with the first option."
"No, not that one, desuwa!"
It worked.
What's with the "desuwa," though?
This world is a little off its rocker no matter how you slice it.
Dragons chant spells in Latin.
Assassins and elves spout clumsy pseudo-Japanese.
Hell, kanji are treated like demon script.
...Well, they are the script used on the continent ruled by that ping-ping Great Demon King, so maybe it fits?
Anyway.
The core of the second proposal was as follows:
Don't grab my tail.
Actively cooperate with my creative endeavors.
Actively promote my works.
Always provide any conveniences needed for my creative activities.
Still riddled with poison clauses, sure.
But better than Plan A's "body, mind, property—all surrendered to Kim Yul," right?
"St-still, urgh, this demands too much, desuwa...? Guaranteeing all this for just one little bet isn't fair, desuwa...?"
Some pride left in her, huh.
I drove my prepared dagger into her chest.
"Can't be helped, then. I'll just scamper off to the Empire Daily, tip them off that the lady of the Wisperaud Ducal House sucks at archery, and while I'm at it, sign a deal for my next work."
"Eek...! How monstrously evil...!"
Of course, I had zero intention of jumping ship to the Empire Daily.
They boasted the top spot in the industry, and their league was worlds apart from Truth Newspaper.
But their sponsor was the Emperor himself.
Unlike this fool, they weren't an environment where a voice like mine could thrive.
And the scouting offer from last time? The terms were brutal.
- If the Empire Daily deems a submitted full manuscript objectively lacking in completeness, they may demand revisions within 14 days of receipt, and the creator must revise and resubmit.
In plain terms: "If we don't like your manuscript, we'll make you revise it forever."
- If, within 6 months of publication, a work hasn't recouped 80% of the advance through royalties, the creator must immediately repay the Empire Daily the advance minus any royalties earned in those 6 months.
"We'll front you cash, but if the book doesn't earn it back, cough it up."
Classic predatory clauses where publishers screw over authors—even in the modern world.
This is the industry leader...?
"Sigh... Fine, desuwa. I'm an elf who gracefully accepts defeat, desuwa."
"Wise choice."
"But don't think this means I've lost, desuwa! Someday I'll break that smug nose of yours, void this contract, and make you grovel at my feet, desuwa...!"
The young lady unleashed her parting shot and fled in a huff.
Anyway.
Victory!
I turned to the onlookers with a beaming smile.
"That elf's a bit off mentally too, but Kim Yul definitely has a demonic side. Be careful, Esjang."
"Yeah! Humans are so fun!"
What.
Why.
A week later.
Despite her bitchy, utterly incompetent personality, Chloe was a top-tier elf who honored her promises.
Not only did the specially slotted "Two Heroes" series special fill the front page of Truth Newspaper,
"Buy Truth Newspaper today and get a limited-edition bonus magazine! Features the Lü Bu side story!"
Even a side story from Lü Bu's perspective—which had to be slim since she wasn't the protagonist—was published alongside.
The slight difference?
The author of Two Heroes: Lü Bu Edition wasn't Kim Yul.
"Historie. You've definitely gotten stronger. Not quite my equal yet, but close."
"If you're going to compliment me, could you do it more gently?"
"Then our tin can would get all puffed up and cackle 'The end of human literature is nigh' again."
"I don't cackle in such frivolous ways."
She was a tin-can author truly throwing her hat into the Fantasy Land ring for the first time with her own words.
As Kim Yul put it.
Write even one parody, and your growth as a writer explodes.
He'd even persuaded Historie with examples.
Authors who'd started with Touhou Project parodies and woven in regression, possession, reincarnation tropes to birth masterpieces.
Authors who'd fused the protagonist and author concepts from My Youth Romantic Comedy, ditching romance for a perfect meta-work.
Authors who'd TS'd the Harry Potter series to maximize Malfoy's appeal.
Having absorbed those paths of all those parody-born literary giants—from mega, giga, tera evolution to dark evolution itself—this epochal hack was born.
Historie, pen name "Hitori."