I Woke Up Alive Again
I let out a low groan. “Ugh… Huh? I’m alive again. Hooo…”
Memories flooded back the moment I opened my eyes in front of a cave at the entrance to a massive mountain range.
“Wait… No fucking way. It’s still attached…! Whoa… It moves when I squeeze it!”
The instant I woke up inside the damp, pitch-black cave entrance, Atoz Reb frantically patted himself down, yanked open his pants, and shoved his hand between his legs. A thick, heavy presence—stiff as steel and radiating a majestic sense of “I’m still here”—filled his palm.
“That bastard. Did he finally lose it?”
“Well… In a situation like this, going crazy is the only thing that makes sense, don’t you think?”
I glanced back. The knights who had escorted us here were gossiping about me. Honestly, I couldn’t blame them. I was about to die, yet here I was, rock-hard, gripping my cock with both hands, tears streaming down my face in pure relief. Anyone would think I’d gone mad.
Atoz shivered all over as he gently kneaded his warm junior, letting out a deep sigh of relief. The reason was simple. The moment he arrived at this cave entrance, a skull-splitting headache hit him, and all his past lives—fifty years’ worth of pure suffering—flashed through his mind.
His first life ended when he went from weird mukbang streamer to snuff YouTuber and got poisoned on camera. His third life began at age five when his balls were forcibly removed so he could serve as a gimi-naesi, a royal food-tasting eunuch, for a yokai empress disguised as the imperial consort. That’s right. Those sons of bitches even cut off his dick, wrapped it nicely in silk like some kind of treasure, and gave it back to him.
Just remembering it sent a fuse-blowing rage through his brain. Atoz forced himself to stop thinking about it.
Thankfully, the Sichuan Heart Technique he had obtained in his second life—as a distant branch member of the Sichuan Tang family—would be his only weapon in this life.
“Get inside! Keep going! Further in, I said!”
“Sob… Mother! Hic… Hic…”
Sobs and screams echoed endlessly from all directions. Atoz, who had been leaning against the wall near the entrance organizing his memories, looked toward the far end of the cave where soldiers were dragging a giant firefly-like figure while beating her.
“What the hell is that?”
“Hooo… Tough bitch! I was just trying to raise the knights’ morale since we’re all going to die anyway, but she keeps resisting. Hooo…”
“Is she finally exhausted?”
Judging by her torn and filthy clothes, she looked like she might be the daughter of some noble. Even in that state, the fabric was clearly the kind worn by high-ranking people from Chernih County.
When one of the knights chaining her tried to put his hands on her body, she thrashed wildly despite clearly not being in her right mind. A fist sent her flying.
Oh… She’s glowing again.
“Fuck, seriously! Even if you stab her in the stomach with a sword, she just heals and comes right back at you…”
“Just throw her inside. Eating something like that might actually kill you.”
“I wanted to see what a noble lady’s underneath looks like… Hehehe.”
“By the way, where’s Charles?”
“He tried to break her legs and jump her, but she kicked him right in the balls and knocked him out cold. His buddies dragged him away.”
“Hah! That guy’s dick was already tiny. Now it’s probably even smaller. Hahaha!”
The knights dragged the noble daughter deeper into the cave and kicked her inside.
“We will never forget your sacrifice. This was an unavoidable choice made by the Judge of Prophecy, the one who seeks to eradicate the sin that has taken root in this land. Your noble sacrifice will be remembered forever by House Chernih and the kingdom.”
With that, they left.
A tremendous rumble echoed as we were sealed in perfect darkness.
For a long time, the air was filled with curses, sobs, and furious shouts. Eventually, people began forming small groups of three or five, groping their way deeper into the cave. There was no point staying near the entrance. The iron door blocking it would never open again.
This place was a cave, an execution ground, and a living hell all in one—a place where people who couldn’t be used as slaves, people whose existence outside would be too disturbing, were sent to starve or go mad and die. The powerless nobles who had irritated the king, failed saint candidates with too much holy power for the temple to ignore, or, in this case, the count’s daughter currently twitching on the floor.
She was the fiery dutiful daughter who had screamed about justice while smashing all her father’s businesses to pieces. Since the territory’s biggest export was healthy slaves, everyone else had already disappeared. Now only she and I remained in this place. She seemed to have lost her mind.
I, on the other hand, wasn’t particularly worried. I was a professional at dying. I had died, died again, and died some more. I’d probably die soon too…
The truth was, I had never lived long enough to become an adult. I always died before then. The goal of this life was simple: live a long time, lose my virginity to beautiful women, eat well, sleep well, and live well. If I failed, I could just try again in the next life. That was the extent of my ambition.
I sat down on the cave floor and began cultivating the Sichuan Heart Technique. It actually had another name, but I’d forgotten it. I wondered if it would taste spicy since it was from Sichuan… That’s right. This was the technique that, if you only learned half of it, would cause a dongguiyeojin—a self-destructive explosion of poison that killed everyone around you when you died.
Back when I lived as a member of the Tang clan, they had only taught me half the technique. I ate sour or bitter dishes, bathed in thick jars, and survived that way. In the end, unknown masters of light footwork had thrown me, still inside my palanquin, straight into the head of the Mara Blood Cult’s leader. That was where my memory ended.
The elder who had been kind to me visited a few days before his death, placed his hand on my head, and I thought my skull would split open. When I woke up, I was inside the palanquin. That was how I had known the latter half of the technique since my third life.
I sat on the cave floor, meditating and breathing evenly as I circulated my internal energy.
“Krrgh…”
This life hadn’t gone anywhere near poison, so my resistance was terrible. Even though I hadn’t eaten any toxic substances, the poisonous energy began flowing little by little through my meridians.
Since I was at it, I decided to try the method I had only theorized about in my previous life (the one where my dick disappeared!). Atoz circulated the faint poisonous energy seeping into his meridians throughout his body, then deliberately pushed some of it toward his groin.
He hadn’t noticed it earlier when he was fondling himself inside his pants, but it seemed like some adjustment was necessary. Maybe because he had lived so long without possessing anything… Back then it had been like a dragon, but when he measured it with his fingers inside his pants, it looked like it could use some growth and hardening.
Using the folk remedy known as “bee sting therapy” and its poison application, he would send the toxic energy to his member to achieve a similar swelling effect.
“Krrgh… This fucking burns! It feels like it’s being ripped off!”
“Poison expands and destroys cells.”
Combining the knowledge he had learned in Sichuan with the effects of his poison cultivation, he concluded that the poison would act as a medicinal elixir inside his body. He continued forcing the toxic energy into his corpora cavernosa.
“Ooooh! Look… Look! It turned purple! Aaaagh! It hurts so much!”
Atoz was working hard to check off the second item on his bucket list. All so he could sleep well later.
After constantly circulating his internal energy to return his purple friend to normal, the color finally came back. It had also grown a little bigger. A very satisfying result.
Worried about side effects, he took it for a test drive. His pants began to twitch and throb. Thanks to this bizarre training, his internal energy had increased slightly as well.
When he focused his energy into his eyes, he could see through the darkness. The only downside was that his eyes kept stinging.
He adjusted his pants and was about to head deeper into the cave when his eyes landed on the count’s daughter. The territory was called Chernih County, so he knew the family name, but what was her name again? His memory was hazy.
Whether it was mana, holy power, or battery life, it had all run out. She was no longer flickering.
“Um… Excuse me… Are you alright?”
There was no answer. He moved in front of her and looked at her face. It was a complete mess of tears and dirt.
“Ugh… Uuu… Uhh…”
He listened carefully to her mumbled response, then roughly wiped her face with his sleeve. Her eyes had no focus. Come to think of it, she hadn’t reacted even when he touched her.
The knights really should have held back a little lol, he thought, then immediately shoved the trashy idea out of his head. He helped her up and moved deeper into the cave with her.
Now it was time to explore.
The deeper they went, the damper and more exhausting it became. Perhaps because he had learned poison cultivation, he could sense sinister energies spreading everywhere.
Why the hell do I have to be stuck here like this?
A divine oracle had descended upon the temple. The oracle of the self-proclaimed “righteous and just” main god of Kabbalah, the Judge of Prophecy, had pointed at House Chernih. It declared that sin had taken physical form and descended upon the county. And that had happened a full seventeen years ago.
What kind of demonic Christmas nonsense was that? And why deliver a prophecy seventeen years late? It seemed the gods of this world operated on a ten-year delay.
Thanks to that, hell had unfolded here. Occasionally, terrible screams and the stench of blood could be felt. It seemed everyone was beginning to realize this was a place without laws.
The deeper they went, the more moss-like things appeared. He briefly considered using the “eat dirt and live healthily” method he had learned in a previous life. Ah. That was how his little sister had died and he had been sold off. Hmm… Better not. There was moss here anyway.
He tore off a bit of moss and tried it. Mm… It was poisonous. Tasty, though. It tasted like soda. Like soda with only carbonation and no water. He should gather some.
It seemed quite a bit of time had passed while he was cultivating his poison technique. An entire ecosystem had already formed inside this cave. When one person couldn’t endure their hunger, ate poisonous herbs, and died, someone else would eat the corpse and die, then someone else would eat that person and die. A perfect living hell.
And because of the sinister energy, everyone seemed to be going a little insane. That was probably why they had resorted to cannibalism.
“Uuuuh…”
Even the noble daughter seemed to agree, which meant there really was something in this cave. The fact that he could cultivate his poison technique on bare ground was clear proof.
After wandering for a while, he found a small puddle, gave her water, and let her rest. He sternly warned her not to wander off alone. If anyone saw her, they’d probably scream “Zombie!!” and smash a pot over her head… She responded with an “Auuuuaaaah” that sounded vaguely affirmative, so he took a short break before continuing his exploration.
He searched every corner, hoping to find a secret passage leading outside or a side path created by a landslide on the opposite side of the cave entrance. Whenever he saw moss, he tasted it and gathered what he could. Ah, this one isn’t poisonous. I should feed it to the noble daughter.
While wandering like that—
“Hey.”
“Huk! Who the fuck—?!”
“Kyaa! Oh my… You scared me!”
Who was that? Her outfit looked quite exotic.
“Who are you?”
“Um… Well… I’ve been wandering around here for a while… I couldn’t find any normal people… Then I saw you and followed you.”
“I see. Were you traveling alone?”
“Yeah! It’s really scary, and I can’t see well, so I was groping around trying to find my way and almost fell somewhere.”
“In that case, luckily I can see a little in front of me. Why don’t you come with me?”
“Should I?”
She smiled warmly and groped around until she found his arm, then linked hers with it. At that moment, a strangely twisted white Kabbalah character flashed vividly in his mind.
Great Sin - Lust's Erosion
A fishy stench strong enough to split his skull rushed in. The memories of his life as a gimi-naesi, living among countless yokai, rang like a struck bell. She was currently having her soul devoured little by little, her very existence being erased.
Atoz gently wrapped his arm around her waist. She didn’t resist as he pressed his body against hers without hesitation. She simply smiled brightly.
The reason he was here.
It’s you… isn’t it?