I Really Thought My Heart Would Drop

I really thought my heart was going to drop. How on earth ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠did he know? Or rather, could he have deduced that much just from the events that had unfolded so far?

Yohan’s mind twisted into a chaotic knot.

It was bewildering. The situation should have played out exactly as it had before. So why—

‘Not only the chocolate incident, but why do things keep changing like this?’

Zeno offered no reply to Yohan’s question.

…Of course.

At this point, only he knew what had truly happened.

It wasn’t that there was no answer; he simply could not give one. That seemed the more accurate view.

Yohan quickly gathered his thoughts.

…Then what should he say in response?

‘I should at least ask the reason behind the question or make it clear that it was an unpleasant one.’

He could not admit anything. Doing so might make it impossible to drop out.

…At the very least, he needed to express his displeasure unmistakably.

In that case.

Yohan made his decision.

He moved his hand to write a reply to the question when Kassian spoke first.

“My apologies. Forget what I just said. I should not have spoken that way to someone who has only just awakened. I am truly sorry.”

The chancellor’s apology.

He even bowed his head as if genuinely remorseful. Seeing this, Yohan changed his mind and wrote a different sentence.

Yohan’s hand moved swiftly across the page.

He did not know how the chancellor had reached that conclusion, but the man had withdrawn first. Yohan seized the opening and managed to move past the moment far more smoothly than he had anticipated.

It was fortunate.

…Whether it was truly fortunate remained to be seen.

Still, no harm in letting it go.

…He would think about this later.

Chancellor, won’t you allow me to drop out?

Yohan’s gaze turned toward Kassian.

“Thank you. And this is merely a personal curiosity, but…”

Kassian trailed off for a moment.

…What is he about to say?

Yohan tensed without realizing it.

The previous question had left him extremely on edge.

“Is it correct that you share no relationship whatsoever with Celestia?”

Ah.

Ahaha.

Hahahahahaha.

…Oh, please.

“Before Celestia left her post, I heard she instructed another student to deliver chocolate to you. You must already be aware of this, yes?”

The chancellor cleared his throat and continued.

“I know Celestia’s personality well. However, I cannot claim to fully understand yours, student Yohan. That is why I wished to hear your answer.”

“I see.”

Kassian nodded.

“Celestia likely did not even realize the implications. You must have gone through quite an ordeal.”

Yes, I certainly did. You understand perfectly.

“This confirmation should suffice. Let us return to our earlier discussion. You wish to drop out? If you require time, simply say so. I can wait two days.”

Yohan closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them again.

The altered questions had caused a slight delay, but it was still enough time to be considered thoughtful deliberation.

…I can say it now.

Having finished weighing his words, Yohan slowly wrote each character on the paper.

He needed time to prepare a gift for the teaching assistant and to offer his goodbyes.

“As long as you do not publicly announce your withdrawal, it should be fine. Rumors about your condition will circulate regardless, but there is a difference between the person concerned admitting it and remaining silent. Is this acceptable?”

Kassian nodded.

“Two days. Complete your farewells within that time. The academy will prepare appropriate compensation during this period. Will you leave the infirmary immediately?”

“I will inform the professor of the mandatory curriculum myself. Should you require anything else, visit the chancellor’s office at any time. The door will always be open for you, student Yohan.”

Yohan nodded.

“What is it?”

Yohan asked.

The situation had changed from the previous loop. He did not know how Professor Aria would react, but the question required confirmation.

…In the past she had made no further contact after the incident.

But now that was no longer certain.

“You need not concern yourself with her. I am approving your withdrawal under my own authority. Naturally she will object, and it borders on disregarding her jurisdiction.”

He exhaled softly.

“By then you will have already left, so it should be fine.”

Yohan nodded.

At the same time, Zeno’s voice resonated inside his head.

‘Yes, that’s right. So that was why he told me to decide before the professor returned.’

Yohan affirmed.

Afterward, conversation continued ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠between Kassian and Yohan. From Yohan’s perspective the topics held little substance; the chancellor was simply attempting to ease the rigid atmosphere.

Once the brief exchange ended, Kassian rose from his seat.

“Then I shall take my leave first. I will arrange matters so you may be discharged immediately if you wish.”

The chancellor departed, leaving Yohan alone in the infirmary.

‘Yes, it does.’

‘I’ll rest a little first.’

The earlier question had struck harder than expected.

…He needed a short rest.

I really thought my heart was going to drop.

Roughly an hour later, Yohan stepped out of the infirmary.

‘That took longer than expected.’

‘It is, but…’

Indeed.

Yohan’s discharge process could fairly be called smooth.

He had not needed to review documents or undergo further examinations.

All that was required was to state that he wished to be discharged, meet the professor from the medical department, and walk out of the infirmary.

‘This must be thanks to the chancellor speaking with them beforehand. Otherwise I would have faced more obstacles.’

The memory of the medical professor’s expression—looking as though he had bitten into something foul—lingered.

Even while examining Yohan’s throat and while writing the prescription, the man had stared with obvious doubt about whether it was truly acceptable to let him leave. In the end, however, the chancellor’s directive had prevented him from interfering.

Instead—

‘He gave me an enormous amount of medicine.’

Yohan glanced at the several bottles the professor had pressed upon him.

…This was easily several months’ worth.

There had been no need to prepare quite so much.

It hardly seemed necessary.

He was not even ill…

‘Yes, I will.’

Well, it was not a difficult task.

Yohan set off toward the dormitory.

‘I’m going to choose a gift for the teaching assistant. That was why I said I needed time.’

‘Not yet. Wouldn’t it be fine to go and see first?’

It could not be helped.

…From the beginning, he—

‘This is the first time I’ve ever bought a gift for a woman.’

That was why.

It bore repeating: leaving White Palace Academy without permission was, in principle, strictly forbidden.

That meant anything required had to be obtained within the academy itself. In exchange for subjecting even the haughty nobles to this rule, the academy had meticulously prepared everything to their exacting standards.

One such provision was the street lined with numerous shops on one side of the academy grounds.

It was known as the “Silk Road.”

‘Yes. This place is practically a space created exclusively for nobles.’

It had been designed to suit their fastidious tastes. The goods on display carried price tags commoners could scarcely imagine, and most commoners considered the academy-issued supplies more than adequate.

‘For reference, I never visited this place at this point in the previous loops.’

He had lacked the money.

The monthly living allowance provided by the academy was nowhere near enough to step foot inside.

That did not mean, however, that he lacked an eye for quality.

Having lived through countless repetitions, he had naturally developed the ability to distinguish fine items.

He was confident in his ability to choose something good.

…Whether she would like it was another question entirely.

‘I’m going to look at accessories.’

Something had occurred to him.

.

Yohan entered a jewelry shop. The owner, seeing an unfamiliar face, tilted his head briefly. But after observing Yohan browse the selection, he quickly adopted a courteous demeanor.

“Is there something in particular you require? If you describe it simply, I will bring out everything we have.”

It seemed his bearing had left an impression.

Merely glancing at items and discerning their quality.

Though the face was new, the owner clearly judged him to be no ordinary customer.

Yohan wrote on the paper he had prepared and handed it to the owner.

The owner read the note and tilted his head once more.

…Not a noble?

The question rose in his mind, but Yohan’s next action left him no choice but to hurry.

Yohan had placed a money pouch on the counter.

Through the slightly open mouth of the pouch, dozens of gold coins glinted.

…Noble or not, a sale is a sale. He must be running an errand for someone.

“I’ll bring them at once!”

The owner shouted and dashed into the back.

.

‘It really is.’

Yohan answered with a small chuckle.

Before leaving the infirmary, Kassian had given him the money so that he could spend ample time with those he was connected to.

It was far more than necessary.

‘He said it was separate from the official compensation.’

…It had probably come from the chancellor’s personal funds.

At first he had refused, finding it burdensome.

But the chancellor’s firm insistence had left him no choice but to accept.

…Well, thanks to it he could prepare a proper gift. He ought to count that as a blessing.

Even if she might not like it.

‘Fortunately, there was exactly what I had in mind.’

Yohan lightly tapped the box.

The item he had chosen was a hairpin adorned with small jewels forming blue flowers in full bloom.

‘The teaching assistant’s eyes are blue. And in the past, I occasionally saw her wear hairpins.’

At this point in time he had never witnessed such a sight.

But in the past, he had.