Of Course the Utility Player Was a Mage
"Companions, huh."
Celis muttered the word blankly.
"Do you actually need something like that?"
"Hm?"
"You touched a demon's heart with your bare hands. And you didn't go mad. Your skin isn't even scorched."
"Well, music accompanied me, of course. I was the one performing, after all. Good music heals the body, the mind, and the very soul."
Caric declared with no small measure of pride.
"The instrument was a bit grotesque, admittedly, but a performer of my caliber can coax a passable tune out of even the lowest-grade equipment."
As if the problem were the instrument.
Celis was utterly dumbfounded. Anyone listening would think he'd squeezed a real musical instrument, not a demon's heart.
"You really are strange."
"Not strange. Interesting."
Caric said it without a trace of shame. And remarkably enough… he wasn't entirely wrong.
Celis felt an odd pull toward Caric. She had never encountered a being so utterly unpredictable. In a world ruled by countless laws, he alone seemed to walk through them as if he were the exception. She found herself wanting to observe this barbarian up close.
As if on cue, Caric spoke.
"I need you."
He said it with eyes that were calm and steady.
"You're the best intelligence source I know of, and the only shadow mage among them. On top of that, you're the most trustworthy."
Celis gave a short snort.
"The best? That's high praise. How well could you possibly know me?"
Yet even as she said it, she found she didn't much mind hearing it.
"Good, I accept the commission. You're already half my lifesaver, after all."
She smiled faintly.
"Advisor to Her Highness the Princess, plus serving as your intelligence operative. Long-term contract. Details to be negotiated separately."
"An excellent choice."
"In return, promise me one thing. That you'll respect my expertise."
Her tone turned unusually careful.
"I mean that you won't ignore my requests or my warnings when it comes to information, magic, curses — things of that nature."
"That's only sensible."
Wisdom was one of those things where more was always better.
"I am a listening barbarian. I take a genuine interest in what others think. Probably connected to my gentle, pure nature."
"Gentle… and pure?"
"That's right. Don't judge me by appearances alone. Spend enough time with me and you'll discover my many hidden charms."
"…Fine."
Celis decided against sharing her honest assessment of that statement. Instead, she got straight to work.
"By the way, that subspace of yours is Crowell's, isn't it? It looks like it, anyway."
"Correct. Is that a problem?"
"I'll rework it for you later. You're sacrificing capacity and convenience for security. There's a new technique out recently that applies top-tier protection without needing the pocket form."
"Can you actually apply cutting-edge techniques without being an enchanter?"
"I'm quite competent."
Celis said it flatly, as if remarking on the weather. Caric liked that about her.
"Good. As it happens, I've thought of something to entrust to you."
He drew Crowell's encrypted documents out of his subspace.
"Decrypt these. Take all the time you need."
"Let's see."
Celis took the documents and skimmed through them, then delivered an estimate on the spot.
"These are Crowell's too, aren't they? I've cracked his ciphers before. Hmm — he's changed the method, but he hasn't torn out the underlying system. Ten minutes and I can have it."
People rose up out of her shadow. They fetched a table from a corner of the warehouse, sat down with pens and paper, and the moment Celis handed over the documents, they set to work.
Caric blinked.
"Ten minutes? Will that really do it? You said he changed the method."
If the old system still worked, why would he have changed anything at all?
"It was never a terribly difficult cipher to begin with. It just requires some knowledge of ancient languages, theology, and symbology. Given enough time, anyone could solve it."
"Must be nice."
How many people walking around had all of that rattling around in their heads? It was the classic delusion of the clever — overestimating everyone else.
Still, Caric had no reason to complain about a competent companion.
Good call leaving it to the expert.
Exactly ten minutes later, Celis accepted two fully decrypted copies from her shadows and passed one to Caric.
"Here, this one's yours."
"No."
Caric answered firmly.
"In situations like this, declining is a virtue. I trust you. Just read through it and summarize for me."
"You just don't want to use your brain, do you?"
"If you insist on putting it that way, I suppose I'll accept."
Caric took the documents. And that was precisely all he did with them.
"Now then, where were we?"
"…This is actually two sets of documents. The first is a collection of weaknesses — the Emperor's faction, the First Prince's faction, the Count's faction, he gathered dirt on all of them thoroughly. No supporting evidence attached, though. It's closer to a set of core summaries."
"That'll do. A precious resource to underpin my barbarian-style post-evidence investigation."
"What in the— you know what, never mind."
Celis, like everyone else before her, had discovered the proper way to deal with Caric:
Do not question every strange remark or absurdity. Infer unknown words from context.
"The other one concerns the cultists' safe houses. They're spread across the whole continent. There's one in the imperial capital, too."
At that, Caric straightened the papers at once.
"How many pages?"
"Eleven."
His eyes swept rapidly across the contents.
"Shop on top, secret base underneath. Classic."
"It's a high-end antique shop on the noble district's main street. Nobles, knights, mages… a place where no one would raise an eyebrow no matter who walked in."
"I'm already looking forward to what's below. This is a big catch."
"The problem is time."
Celis lowered the documents.
"You exposed the Interior Minister as a demon at the assembly yesterday midday, correct?"
"Right. Nearly twenty-four hours ago now."
"Which means their vigilance and surveillance will start easing up soon. The perfect window for cultists to pose as walk-in customers and wipe the safe house clean."
"A time attack, then."
Caric bared his teeth in a grin.
"Then we go right now. Special Inspector duties officially commence."
First, though, he needed to brief Annette.
As he and Celis left the basement, Caric pulled out the communication skull. The moment he activated it, a startled voice came through after a short delay.
"Hwaak! C-Caric, sir?"
"That's me, Annette. Can you hear me clearly?"
"Y-yes. But, um, this thing — a mouse skull suddenly talking at me is a little…"
"Isn't it cute, though?"
"Y-yes? Um, yes… I suppose one could see it that way…"
Then how else was one supposed to see it? Caric didn't understand, but he let it slide.
"How did the errand go?"
"Oh, that. It went very well. Talent acquisition complete. And I've found somewhere to go, as well."
"Somewhere to go… then you'll be a bit late, I suppose."
"No. You're coming too."
"Me?"
Annette sounded surprised. But rather than flustered, there was something almost expectant in her voice as she asked,
"Where is it? How formal should I dress?"
Naturally, Caric's answer was nothing like what she was hoping for.
"The cultists' secret safe house. For attire, hmm, I'd say something with a holy feel to it."
This occasion was different from the assembly. It was the noble district, yes, but it would be her first appearance before the public. She needed one striking blow, the kind that lodged itself in people's memories.
"The goal is reactions like 'Is that her? The Princess? She looks like an angel…' The saintess who tamed the beast-like barbarian. That's roughly the image we're going for."
"Wh-what does that even mean…?"
Perhaps because he'd rushed through the call, Caric had skipped the context entirely. Annette seemed unable to grasp the situation itself.
"In short: we need a first impression everyone will love. For you, at least, that's the single most important thing this time."
The cultists Caric could handle himself — especially now that Celis had joined the team.
"Talk it over with Lily."
"Understood! I'll bring the Special Inspector's badge as well. His Majesty sent it over while I was away."
Already? The Emperor's turnaround is brisk. Even granting that the back-channel contact was yesterday.
"Perfect. I'll tell you where to meet us."
Caric gave her the address and shut off the skull.
By the time the call ended, he and Celis had emerged onto the tavern's ground floor. Their stride was unhesitating. But the moment Caric pushed open the door and stepped out onto the street, he found himself at a loss.
Hmm….
He didn't know the streets, and now that he looked, there were far too many people around. If he started bounding through the crowds the way he had across the snowfield, he'd be flattening buildings and citizens alike in numbers best not contemplated.
"Celis, is there some way to move quickly?"
"Naturally. Follow me."
"Knew I could count on you. Of course the utility player is a mage."
Celis led Caric into a dark alley. She held out her hand.
"Take hold. And don't resist."
Caric's enormous hand closed over Celis's pale, slender one.
In that instant —
Saaaah!
Shadow coiled around Caric like a cocoon. His vigilance spiked violently, killing intent even leaking out on reflex. But there was no hostility in the shadow — none at all. He steadied his mind in a heartbeat.
Celis flinched briefly herself, but like the professional she was, she immediately resumed what she was doing.
The two of them merged fully into the shadows.
They leapt from shadow to shadow in a chain of short-range jumps.
Suuuuuh!
With lesser skill, the jumps would have stuttered and severed mid-transit, leaving the passenger violently motion-sick. But Caric felt not the slightest discomfort throughout the entire journey. Even a layman could gauge Celis's mastery by sound alone: the suuuuh never broke, flowing on seamlessly from one shadow to the next. It felt, to his senses, like riding in a car hurtling down a perfectly straight highway.
In under five minutes, they had crossed the city and arrived at their destination — an alley directly across from the antique shop.
"There it is."
Still hidden within the shadow, Celis pointed across the street. There stood an antique shop that looked conspicuously high-class. Just as the documents described, it wouldn't have seemed the least bit odd even if high-ranking nobles came calling for appraisals.
"Give me a moment. I'll scout an infiltration route."
"Infiltration, is it."
Caric shook his head.
"No need. I have considerable expertise in that field myself."
It was the kind of voice that inexplicably inspired trust in whoever heard it.
"Hmm. Really?"
Celis found it surprising, yet accepted it immediately.
"I suppose you might, actually. Fine. What's the plan?"
"I lead. You follow naturally."
"Huh?"
"You'll see."
Caric strode straight up to the shop's front door. He tried the handle — locked. A small voice sounded from within.
"We're terribly sorry, but we are not open today. Please visit again another time."
"What are you on about? I received an invitation to the VIP-only secret appreciation event."
"I believe you've come to the wrong establishment. There is no such event scheduled."
"Whew, this is a sore one indeed. Discriminated against just for being a barbarian, am I? Planning to keep your secret games all to yourselves, are you?"
No further answer came from inside. He tried a few more lines, with the same result.
When people showed this little regard for a fellow man's sincerity, Caric had no choice but to respond in kind. He lifted one colossal foot.
And then —
KWAAANG!
"Barbarian business! Open up!"
As he kicked the shop door clean off its hinges, the 'infiltration' began.