Chapter 4: The Rom-Com Formula
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 4: The Rom-Com Formula
Seeing the protagonist, Sakamoto Ryuji, lead the transfer student out, I quietly rose from my seat.
Just then, Satoru, who sat in front of me, asked.
"Ah, Kim-kun, if you're done with Jump, can I read it?"
"Be my guest."
I handed him the copy of Jump I'd finished, and with a piece of melon bread in his mouth, he started reading happily.
Satoru was in my class back in our first year, so he was one of the few people in Class 2-B who knew that all the school rumors about me were fake.
For someone like me, who isn't particularly sociable, he was a truly valuable asset.
Ever since I started training my body like a madman in my first year, I'd keenly felt the sharp decline in the number of people who would casually talk to me.
As I closed the back door of the classroom and stepped into the hallway, eyes naturally gathered on me.
I ignored their stares and followed the back of the protagonist's head, visible in the distance.
Lunchtime had just begun, so the hallway was crowded with students, but wherever I went, the crowd parted to the left and right as if on cue, letting me pass with ease.
…Talk about a Miracle of Moses.
In any case, as I walked toward the emergency staircase, in the complete opposite direction of the school store, I thought about the events that were about to unfold.
'First, Sakamoto will apologize to the transfer student.'
There's a formula to romantic comedies.
Just like the saying goes, it's a story you've already seen. A formula so predictable that you don't even need to watch the rest to know what happens.
In my past life, I had never read 'Scramble Love,' so I knew nothing about the events to come.
All I knew were the faces of the main heroines who had made it into the final popularity poll rankings, and that 'Scramble Love' was known for following the classic rom-com tropes.
Therefore, I 'deduced.'
If I didn't know what was going to happen, I figured I just had to predict it.
That was the reason why, even after becoming a high school student, I couldn't put down my copy of Jump.
Romantic comedies have evolved in unconventional ways over the years.
Naturally, if you don't understand the latest trends, you can't predict what comes next.
While I was lost in thought, I lost sight of the two, but I could easily guess where they were headed.
A place where the two of them could go at this time of day, a secluded spot perfect for a secret conversation.
As far as I knew, the only such place was the schoolyard behind the building.
I went down the emergency stairs and through the exit leading outside. Not too far away, I could see two figures.
'Bingo.'
I cheered inwardly and hid at a distance where I could just barely hear their voices.
Immediately after,
"Sorry! I didn't do it on purpose!"
Slap!
'There it is! The prayer-pose apology!'
As expected of a rom-com protagonist.
In the two years since I possessed Kim Yoo-Sung's body, I had never once seen anyone strike that pose. I can't believe he actually did it.
Anyway, after receiving his apology, Kishimoto Rika stood with her arms crossed, looking down at the top of the protagonist's head. Judging by the way her lips were twitching, it seemed she wasn't actually angry.
She was silent for a moment, but then, as if she couldn't hold it in any longer, she burst out laughing.
Then, with a cat-like smile, she said,
"You're surprisingly innocent, aren't you?"
Sakamoto Ryuji lifted his head, seemingly having grasped the situation a little too late. "You!" he shouted, but Kishimoto Rika just laughed nonchalantly and thumped his chest with her fist.
"What happened this morning was an accident. I'm not so petty as to hold a grudge over something like that, you know?"
"…Then why did you pretend to be mad?"
"Hmm… Because the look on your face when you saw me was priceless?"
"Argh! Do you have any idea how much I agonized over that?!"
"Ahahaha! That face! That's the one! You're hilarious!"
"Grr! If you weren't a girl!"
As Sakamoto Ryuji trembled with two clenched fists in frustration, Kishimoto Rika teased, "Why? You'd hit me if I were a guy?" before slipping her hands into her cardigan pockets.
"Anyway, that's the end of the incident from this morning. Don't you go bringing it up in front of others, either."
"…Fine."
As the protagonist, who had been played from start to finish, replied with an exhausted look, Kishimoto Rika said with a shameless expression,
"You got to see a pretty high school girl's panties for free and were forgiven. You should be happy. Why the long face?"
"How can you say that about yourself…."
When he immediately pointed that out, Kishimoto Rika blushed slightly and slapped Sakamoto Ryuji's bent back.
"Ahem! Proper words! Nice words!"
Forced to stand up straight, Sakamoto Ryuji glared at her resentfully, but Kishimoto Rika, finding the whole thing hilarious, let out a "Nee-hee-hee!" laugh and walked away.
*
Right after their conversation, which I presumed to be an event from the original story, concluded, I tossed aside the tree branch I was holding to come out of hiding.
My impression from watching their exchange was that it was a textbook introduction to a youth rom-com.
Applying the rom-com formula, 'Kishimoto Rika' is a typical bright and easygoing gyaru character.
She's the type of heroine that acts as bait, effortlessly drawing in readers who aren't even fans of the genre.
Her flawless, bright smile was certainly worthy of her subtitle as the undisputed number one in the popularity polls.
I had no intention of interfering with the original story, but I felt like I'd seen something good for the first time in a while. I sat down on a nearby bench and took out the lunchbox I'd brought from the classroom.
It was a Chinese-style lunchbox I had packed myself this morning.
I would have preferred to eat with my friends in the classroom, but given my appearance, I thought I might make others uncomfortable, so I came outside.
It seemed I'd have to eat alone with nature as my companion for a while, at least until my classmates got somewhat used to my presence.
I picked up a piece of yu-lin-gi, which was still crispy despite being cold, and was about to put it in my mouth.
"Kim Yoo-Sung! What is the secretary of the great Student Council doing here!"
A familiar, scolding voice suddenly came from behind me.
I gently placed the yu-lin-gi back in the lunchbox and cautiously turned around.
"…President, what are you doing here?"
"I tracked your phone's location. Ohohohohot!"
Isn't that an illegal act you're announcing so proudly?
A beautiful girl with a black hime-cut hairstyle, fanning her mouth with a black fan adorned with gold foil as she let out a series of princess-like laughs.
This was Saionji Kumiko, the student council president of Ichijo Academy.
A direct descendant of a prestigious noble family based in Kyoto, she was the head of a student council with a suspicious amount of power.
The vice president and all the other student council officers were her personal minions, making it less a council and more a private clique.
In a rom-com, she's the type who would be relegated to an insignificant supporting heroine or a rival gag character.
In any case, I couldn't figure out why someone like her was here.
"Weren't you busy with the start of the new semester, President?"
"That may be so, but I can spare enough time to eat with a subordinate who is likely eating all alone and lonely."
The president said, giving me a look.
It meant I was to go with her.
Knowing I couldn't refuse once she'd made up her mind, I obediently picked up my lunchbox and followed.
Walking side-by-side with her across the schoolyard, I asked,
"Where is the Vice President who's always with you?"
"I sent him ahead to the student cafeteria to save us a seat. It gets completely full if you're late."
I thought we'd be eating in the comfort of the student council room, so it was surprising that she'd go out of her way to the student cafeteria.
"I doubt they have anything there that would suit your palate, President."
At that, the president glanced at me, then covered her face with her fan and said,
"Hmph! I am perfectly capable of eating the food of commoners, you know. That dish I had at your family's restaurant the other day? The jeyuk-bokkeum-deopbap? It was quite acceptable."
It was genuinely surprising to see the person who used to elegantly cut a steak in the student council room during our first year now casually mentioning spicy stir-fried pork over rice.
Is this what they call personal growth?
However, I had to correct one of her misconceptions.
"I'm sorry, but the student cafeteria does not serve jeyuk-bokkeum-deopbap."
The president's eyes widened as if she'd heard something unbelievable.
"What?! Then what in the world do they serve?!"
"They have a similar dish, gyudon. You should try that instead."
If she's tasted a commoner's dish from Korea, isn't it only logical that she should try a commoner's dish from her own country next?
The president muttered, "Gyudon… gyudon… it has a nice ring to it," then clenched her fists.
"I, Saionji Kumiko, shall successfully complete my commoner experience by partaking in this dish called gyudon!"
Ohohohohot!
Watching the president's one-woman show, I thought to myself,
'She'd be perfect if she just kept her mouth shut.'
A classic case of a pretty face going to waste.