Growing Distant (7)
"I don't really care. You didn't do anything to me. But… if you ask me, you guys are the real assholes. Wasn't he the victim of some punishment game in the first place? Is the whole world running a hidden-camera prank on me or what."
Those were the words that came out of Yena's mouth.
Words that surprised even me.
Yeah. That hadn't been the mood at all until now.
Not with Choi Ahyeon, and not with the friends around her either. Unlike me, they were people who already had a solid foothold in the school, so the atmosphere and public opinion they'd shaped first carried real weight — and it dominated. Well… I hadn't said a word about any of it myself, so of course the current had only ever run one way.
But even so.
Even so, I never expected someone who wouldn't get swept up in that majority opinion.
Ah — of course, Junyong had been like that before, but still.
"Ah, no… it's just funny, that's all."
"Whatever. Do what you want."
Yena said it like she couldn't care less.
Honestly, part of me wanted to blurt something out right then. I wanted to thank her for saying that — wanted to say it over and over. But I held it in. Yeah. If I suddenly came out like that, it'd just be weird. If I did, her impression of me might flip in an instant. Better to just be grateful on the inside. It already felt like enough of a comfort. At least not everyone thought that way. Knowing there was someone who saw it the right way was more than enough to steady me.
"Alright — everyone's checked who their group members are, right? I'm assuming you've already talked a bit. We'll go over the performance assessment in more detail later."
The teacher said that before I knew it, and told us to return to our seats — without me ever getting a chance to say a single word.
But… if things started off like this, would we even be able to put the performance assessment together? From the jump, there was already a little friction between Yena and that other girl. The topic had been me, sure, but even so, it felt wrong to call it my fault. If she hadn't brought it up in the first place, none of this would've happened.
"Yo, how was it? Your group okay?"
The moment I got back to my seat, Junyong asked right away. The way the corner of his mouth twitched, his intentions didn't seem entirely pure.
"Better than I expected, actually."
"Huh? For real?"
"What were you hoping for. But yeah, seriously. Honestly, I was surprised too…"
"Kka-is—"
Junyong's reaction came out as disappointment and relief stacked on top of each other. That was the whole point of the word, after all — a mashup of "bummer" and "nice." But this guy — what exactly was he so disappointed about?
"So who're you with?"
I answered that one by roughly pointing them out with a glance.
"Holy shit… you're with two girls?"
"Yeah. Looks that way."
"Ah, man, that sucks. Why am I… stuck with three guys."
Honestly, I hadn't felt any particular way about being paired with two girls. But hearing Junyong say it, a tiny sense of victory did bloom. Of all things, three guys. And this was a guy who liked girls that much, too.
"Three guys can make a masterpiece."
"Masterpiece my ass… we're just gonna end up at a PC bang together. Anyway, you guys talk about anything?"
If he was going to ask that… we were in the same boat on that front.
"Nah. Barely said anything."
"Huh? You said it was fine."
"It is fine, but… the fact that it got fine is kind of the problem? Like it's already messing with the project."
"Who'd you say again?"
"Her and her."
"Ah — Ha Yena and Jo Yeonju?"
"Yeah."
Junyong looked like something had just occurred to him. Like he was about to say something.
"You guys are screwed too, if you ask me."
What.
A curse, out of nowhere.
"Why…?"
"First of all, you're in it. You can't sing for shit, so what are you even gonna do."
"Then I just won't sing…"
"But from what I know, those two don't really have anything going on either."
Why was he being so ominous. And how did he even have that kind of information.
Besides, we were still first-years… of course nobody had much yet. The ones who came in already skilled were the impressive ones. And they'd said from the start that this wasn't about judging raw ability. That part would be fine. Honestly, it wasn't even the time to be worrying about skill. Too early. We might not even make it to the stage where skill was worth discussing.
"Hey, what's your Inbyul ID."
Thankfully, once class ended, the girl named Jo Yeonju came over to me first. After that first meeting had ended on such a weird note, I'd been a little worried — but I hadn't expected her to approach me like this. Maybe she just figured we had to get it done.
"Ah, let's do Talk instead of Inbyul."
I'd closed my Inbyul account, after all. She seemed to be thinking of making a group chat.
"Okay. Tell me. I'll invite Yena too."
"Yeah."
Still — for someone who'd said those things right in front of me earlier, she was treating me surprisingly normally. It wasn't like she'd suddenly been enlightened. Maybe she just didn't have any real bad blood, and her reaction earlier had only been because I'd become a hot topic — a temporary celebrity of sorts.
"So… when are you free? What are we gonna do?"
"I…"
I started to answer right away, then hesitated for a second. Without thinking, I'd been running through Ahyeon's schedule in my head — wondering if there was something I had to do with her, or if something might come up. That was the groove my thoughts had settled into over a long time. But now… I didn't have to do that anymore.
"I'm free whenever. You guys just pick a time that works for you."
"Yeah? Then… should we figure out what to do with Yena?"
"Yeah, let's talk it over together."
It seemed like things were going surprisingly smoothly — and then.
"Do whatever you want. Oh, and give me as little as possible."
And just like that, this one was going off the rails. A group performance assessment, and her face and tone said she had zero interest. If anything, she just seemed mildly annoyed.
"Why…?"
I asked. It was so at odds with the image I'd formed of her earlier that the question came out on reflex, from pure shock.
"I'm pretty busy. So I don't think I'll have time to practice together or anything. Sorry."
"Ah…"
What on earth was she doing that she was too busy to properly take part in a performance assessment? From what I'd heard… there wasn't anything particularly special going on with her. Of course, I wasn't taking that information as gospel. Ah — or maybe that was exactly why she was trying to check out like this.
"Yena, come on, we still have to do it together. What are you gonna do if you just bail?"
Yeonju, who'd been talking beside me, said that. She wasn't wrong — aside from the slight edge of irritation in her tone.
"What are you talking about. I never said I was bailing. Just leave me whatever and I'll do it."
Yena said, then slid forward and slumped face-down over her desk. She looked tired on top of everything else.
"For now… let's just try to work it out a bit more."
Faced with that attitude, I at least tried to smooth things over quickly. Whatever else was true, Yena was being uncooperative, and Yeonju had every reason not to be in a good mood about it. But… Yena, why was she coming out like this. The image of her I had in my head was getting scrambled. Or maybe… she'd only been able to say those things earlier because she didn't care that much about my situation either.
After that… our group made zero progress. We just stayed stuck in the state I'd hastily patched together. Ah — of course, I did try something in the group chat we'd made. I posted a few cover songs that looked easy and simple. Normally, with my personality, I wouldn't have stepped up like that first. But the unread "1" still hadn't disappeared. It looked like it never would.
And because of that, eventually…
"Hey, Jinho. Just sit still. She's like that — why are you the only one working so hard."
Yeonju pulled me aside to say that. She still seemed pretty pissed about earlier. Maybe it was also the way their conversation had gone a little sideways from the first meeting — that was probably still hanging over things too.
"Still… we all have to do it together in the end."
"She said she'll do whatever we give her. So just leave her alone and hand out the parts the day before."
"…That's."
Ugh. Was this some kind of standoff. I understood well enough why Yeonju was taking that stance, but from my position it was a little awkward. How could you actually do something like that. For one thing… my image of Yena was still on the good side. Should I try talking to her again? Haah. I had zero talent for starting conversations. But if I just threw in the towel with them, my already-not-great image would only head for rock bottom. Yeah. I had to turn something around, didn't I.
.
.
.
Lunchtime.
I kept going back and forth — should I talk to her, should I not, and when should I even do it — until lunch finally arrived. She still hadn't even read the group chat. Yeah. Even if she was that busy… she should at least communicate through the chat, right. With that in mind, I glanced over at Yena. As it happened, she was getting up from her seat — probably to go eat. Was this… the moment. For some reason, a pressure that said it would only get harder if I didn't do it now made me restless. So I just followed her without thinking.
"Yo, where are you going all of a sudden? If you're eating, take me too!!"
Junyong from the seat behind tried to grab me, but I didn't have time to explain. In the meantime Yena had opened the back door and gone out, and I tried to catch up with slightly quicker steps.
"Ha Yena!"
The second I stepped through the back door, I spotted her from behind and called out. Not loudly — we hadn't gotten that far apart.
"Huh?"
Yena spun around, startled. Only then did I notice the girls around her who looked like her friends. Probably the ones she ate with. But… now that it had come to this, it was a little embarrassing. A pointless flush of shame, too.
"Uh… our group chat… I posted a few things, so I was hoping you'd check them."
When I said that, Yena stared at me for a moment. Then she turned her head the other way.
"You guys go ahead first."
She said it to the friends with her. I hadn't meant to hold her up that long…
"Is this about Talk?"
"Yeah. We made it earlier. You just never checked."
"Ah, sorry. Didn't know."
How she couldn't know was beyond me, but I let it go.
"So… we can at least communicate together, right?"
"Yeah. But are we doing it with this K-pop stuff?"
Yena said, looking at her phone. She seemed to be checking the chat now.
"It's easier to practice that way, and… everyone kind of already knows them. Familiar, right."
"Whatever. Do what you want. I don't really care. Just tell me when it's decided. And keep my part as small as you can."
"Is there something you'd rather do?"
She said do whatever, but it didn't sound like she was particularly into it, so I asked just in case.
"Mm…"
Yena thought for a second. The fact that she paused at all meant there was something on her mind.
"Nah. Just go with whatever you guys want."
"Come on, say it while you can. I'll try to work something out."
"I said no."
"Ballad? R&B? Hip-hop? Or… just pop, maybe?"
"Haa. I said no, for real. Why are you being so annoying about it."
Had I been too pushy. In the end Yena said it like she was fed up. But she wasn't actually annoyed — not really.
"Yo, why are you going to eat without me?"
In the middle of that, Junyong's voice came from behind — apparently he'd followed me out. He looked back and forth between me and Yena for a second, then—
"Ah, okay. I was starting a cafeteria boycott today anyway."
—said that out of nowhere, and went right back through the back door. But if you say it like that and leave… the people left behind end up in a slightly awkward atmosphere. Yena, though, didn't seem to care at all. In a casual, easygoing voice—
"You were gonna eat too, right? Let's go. I'm hungry."
—she said, and started walking ahead. And I just followed after her.
.
.
.
On the stairs down to the cafeteria.
"Ahyeon, what are we gonna do about our performance assessment?"
"If we're prepping for auditions at the same time, we're gonna be so busy."
"It's fine. We can handle it. And that tutoring video you posted yesterday was so pretty!"
We ran into kids from the Entertainment/Acting Department. Unfortunately, of all people — Entertainment/Acting Department kids. And among them, Choi Ahyeon's group.
"It's Gu Jinho…!"
"Heh heh."
They didn't say anything outright, but the way they murmured among themselves when they saw me was the same as always. Aah. Of all times, running into them while I was walking with Ha Yena just made it more embarrassing. Even so, I went down the stairs with Yena without showing anything on my face. And just like that, I slipped past Ahyeon quickly.
Choi Ahyeon didn't say a word.
Before, when the kids around her acted like that… she at least used to try to stop them.