The First to Fall
Warning: This chapter contains adult content.
I was still wearing a thoroughly flustered expression when Joo Ha-yeon asked me again.
"How do you feel about me?"
"...That 'how' isn't the colleague kind of how, I take it?"
She nodded.
I scratched my cheek, looking a little awkward. This was a hard situation to dodge.
"...Well. I think you're attractive."
A safe answer. Then Joo Ha-yeon spoke.
"I think so too."
"...Pardon?"
Is she complimenting herself?
I gave her a puzzled look, and she went on.
"I mean I find you incredibly attractive, Shin-hoo."
"...Ha. Haha. Thank you."
Faced with one straight pitch after another, all I could manage was an awkward reply. If she were just some random woman, it might have been different. But she was a companion whose importance in my party now rivaled even Na Seoyun's. Honestly, there wasn't anyone in my party who wasn't important anymore. Which made it hard to treat this casually — not that I'd ever treated her casually. That didn't mean I intended to be led around by the nose, either.
"...Hah."
Joo Ha-yeon let out a deep sigh.
"Will you go out with me?"
And then she threw another fastball right at my face.
......
I couldn't say a word.
"I figured as much. Of course..."
She reacted as if she'd expected this.
"Well, Na-yeon's... a little better, but Eun-ju's attitude has been changing lately too, and Seoyun is going after you completely out in the open..."
The complaints kept coming. I had a pretty good idea what she meant.
"I know it's hard for you to single out just one of us, Shin-hoo. Looking at the state of the party, it's obvious... especially in the Tower..."
Joo Ha-yeon looked me straight in the eyes.
"Did you know? Here, as long as you have the power and the ability, polygamy, polyandry — all of it's possible."
I knew. How could I not?
When I carefully nodded, she gave a bitter smile.
"That skill of yours that suppresses sexual desire... it's impressive. And so are you, for holding back even knowing all this. Really... impressive. Most men, even knowing that, wouldn't have used it."
That was because I had a more important purpose. It wasn't that I couldn't. Thinking about the future, it would have been a stupid thing to do. My brain was in my head, not between my legs. My goal was to save Earth and reunite with my family. Women? I wouldn't turn down the opportunity if it came. But I had no intention of throwing priorities out the window and running wild just because my lower half told me to.
"Well. That's part of what makes you so reliable. And so attractive."
Then she fell silent for a while. Her eyes were still on me. I'd wanted to avoid this, but I'd always known I'd have to face it someday.
Back during that damned fake wet-dream incident, there were things I'd pretended not to hear. Looking at their attitudes since then, I'd figured this was a possibility. So I'd prepared a response, more or less — buy time until I was more used to the Tower. Hold out until around the Middle Floor, until I was familiar enough with this place that a relationship like that wouldn't really matter.
With the three adults, I thought I could fend them off easily enough by citing how others would look at us, or the dynamics of the party. With Na Seoyun, I figured I could push it off a little longer because of her age. Later, once most of the Earth-born mindset had washed off and I'd adopted the Tower's somewhat lighter, less possessive view of romance, I thought a relationship like that would be fine. Getting into something like that while I still had too much Earth in me would just be a headache, so I'd been trying to get more accustomed first. If things went deeper, I'd accept it after that. Well, as Joo Ha-yeon said, Na-yeon was a bit of a gray area — but if this situation kept up, it was true I'd likely be drawn to her romantically as well.
The people we'd meet from here on would almost never be decent, and situations that relatively inflated my own value would keep repeating. After that, I could be as possessive as any ordinary man, and with my grown abilities I could make sure no other man would even dare approach. Someday, I figured, it wouldn't be a problem. Of course, they might be drawn to someone else. If that happened, I had no intention of losing my companions to another party over romance. If it came to that, I'd go to war to stop it.
The one thing I hadn't anticipated was that Joo Ha-yeon had already grasped the Tower's reality so early. Power was truth. Power was everything. In a world like this, Earth's laws forbidding polygamy were worthless. It had become a more savage, more instinctive world. After all, we'd seen that kind of thing starting from the 8th floor, which was just the tutorial. Joo Ha-yeon — no, the whole party — would have figured it out quickly. But acknowledging it was another matter.
So I didn't look away. I asked with my eyes, not my words. Even if you say you like me, you can't have me to yourself. Are you still okay with that? She couldn't leave me over this anyway. I'd given her a great deal, there was no one ahead of our party, and there was no safer place than at my side. Even if I turned her down, not much would change.
Joo Ha-yeon, watching me refuse to look away, quietly lowered her head. When she lifted it again a moment later, she was biting her lip.
Still not ready, I thought.
"...The thing is..."
After a long hesitation, Joo Ha-yeon opened her mouth.
"...What can I do? I'm the sinner here. I fell first."
Then she gave a bitter smile.
"...What?"
I was stunned. It had been almost a year since we'd come to the Tower. About eleven months. Not a short time, but we'd still lived more than twenty years on Earth. Matters of the heart were especially hard to accept psychologically. If we'd been powerless and had suffered through miserable situations over and over, it might have been different. But we'd had virtually none of that kind of experience. That was why I'd been so sure this wouldn't happen until we at least reached the Middle Floor and got used to the culture here.
I was wrong.
That reaction was, for all practical purposes, permission. I never expected her to openly allow me to see other women, knowing there would be rivals.
"...Well. I'm also in a bit of a hurry."
"What do you mean by..."
"By what?"
"There's a reason. Anyway. I have no intention of giving you up, Shin-hoo."
She declared it in a firm voice.
"...Why? Why would you go that far..."
"Because you're far too precious a person to let slip away."
Joo Ha-yeon said it with a bright smile.
"You're brave, and self-sacrificing, but you're not a complete pushover either. You're polite, you're responsible, you're incredibly capable..."
She folded her fingers one by one as she spoke.
"You don't treat people carelessly, you respect me, and..."
When ten fingers weren't enough, she lowered her hands and looked into my eyes with fierce intensity.
"You cherish me like this, treat me like I'm precious — how am I supposed to not fall for you?"
......
I couldn't open my mouth. I had no idea what to say. No one in the first cycle had ever come at me this hard. This was a first. The only thought filling my head was that I had no idea what to do in a situation like this.
Then Joo Ha-yeon spread her arms toward me and asked,
"I'm incredibly embarrassed right now. Are you just going to leave me like this?"
...I was flustered, but after hearing all that, I couldn't just stand there. I'd taken a sucker punch, that much was true. Thanks to that, I'd reacted like an idiot and looked like a complete fool. It wasn't her who wasn't ready. It was me.
I slowly approached her and asked,
"...Are you really okay with..."
"Stop there. Even without saying it, it's complicated enough. I don't want to think about that anymore. Can you just focus on right now?"
......
"My arms are getting tired."
A brief hesitation. Yeah. This was it. I didn't feel the need to hesitate any longer. She was fully prepared. So now it was my turn to accept her.
I stepped into Joo Ha-yeon's arms and pulled her into a tight embrace.
"...I can't tell you that I'll love only you."
"I know. What can I do? Even now, you're not accepting me because you love me."
She knew. I'd said I found her attractive, but it wasn't as large or as strong as what she felt for me. I was just accepting her because I didn't dislike her. It wasn't passionate love. It wasn't even strong affection. And it wasn't something I took lightly, either. An emotion that was far too in-between.
Holding me tightly, Joo Ha-yeon said,
"...It's the same here as anywhere. The one who falls first is the sinner."
I had nothing to say to that.
"Don't take me lightly, though. ...Then again, you're not that kind of person."
Of course not. Someone this capable was willingly coming under my shade, into a place she couldn't leave — I had no intention of doing anything that stupid. I answered by drawing Joo Ha-yeon even deeper into my arms.
For a while we said nothing, simply savoring each other's warmth. After a long time had passed, Joo Ha-yeon slipped out of my embrace.
A brief meeting of eyes. Then she slowly closed hers.
I couldn't be dense enough to miss the cue in a situation like this. I carefully leaned in toward Joo Ha-yeon's closed-eyed face.
A soft sensation covered my lips. The moment our mouths met, she gave mine a light suck — a very proactive response. I matched her. We lingered over each other's lips for a long time, the quiet, wet sounds of the kiss filling the space between us. But that alone wasn't enough for her. She slipped her tongue between my lips.
"Ah— mmph."
Her soft tongue brushed lightly against my teeth, and I opened my mouth and gently drew it in. Soon our tongues began to tangle together. She led the kiss with remarkable skill. Just receiving it was enough to feel good. The kiss grew more intense, and she raised her arms to wrap around my neck, pressing herself even closer. My hands had found their way — one around her waist, the other cradling the back of her head — as we clung to each other passionately.
How much time had passed? We were so absorbed in each other that we lost track, and when we finally pulled apart, a single translucent bridge stretched between the tips of our tongues.
"Haa... haa..."
Joo Ha-yeon rested her hands on my shoulders, her face flushed, breathing hard. Even so, she looked at my face with passionate eyes. I met her gaze with equal intensity. Then she lightly swept her hand across my chest, over my clothes.
"...You're not going to tell me to go back to my room now, are you?"
I had no such intention. Instead of answering, I buried my face in the nape of her neck and lightly licked along the line of her throat.
"Nnngh..."
She let out a satisfied moan. Then she slipped her hands under my shirt and gently stroked my back. I felt her soft touch glide over my skin.
A heavier breath escaped me. She answered it with a soft moan of her own. Light caresses, still standing. I licked along her neck, gradually lowering my head to kiss her collarbone, and at the same time slipped my hand softly beneath her clothes. Pressed close together, I gently traced her waist, then slowly moved my hand along her side, along the line of her back, and up toward her chest. Her clothes rose gradually with the path of my hand.
At some point she seemed unable to keep her hands still, stroking near the crown of my head, and said with a flushed face,
"N-next... on the b-bed, please."
Without a word, I lifted her up and carried her slowly to the bed. The inn's old mattress made a small creak as it received Joo Ha-yeon's body. I planted my hands on either side of her head and looked down at her.
"It's too late now. Even if you try to stop me, I won't listen."
She nodded, her face flushed. I lightly kissed her reddened cheek and slowly removed her top. She moved her body to make it easier for me, matching my actions.
I gazed quietly at her bare form. Her flushed face. The beautiful line of her neck where I'd licked and buried my face. The elegant line of her shoulders and her subtly alluring collarbones. From there, breasts larger than I'd expected; a slender waist — whether she'd always had it or whether it was from all the training — and the faint suggestion of an eleven-shaped line of abs. And between them, a cute navel.
Sensing my gaze, Joo Ha-yeon lightly covered her upper body.
"D-don't stare so much..."
A voice full of shyness. That cute gesture, so different from the passionate kiss, made me smile without meaning to.
"I-is it fair that I'm the only one undressed?"
"You have a point."
I spread my arms lightly.
"Then why don't you even things out."
Her shy demeanor brought out a mischievous streak in me. Joo Ha-yeon, as if she had no choice, uncrossed the arms that had been covering herself and lifted my shirt. She came close to undress me, and watching her fully exposed, swaying breasts, she shot me a pretty glare.
"Pervert."
I gave a light shrug. That reaction seemed to burn off a lot of her shyness. Now she approached me slowly and began to caress my body. As if returning exactly what she'd received, she lightly licked the nape of my neck, then my collarbone, her hands gently stroking my back and abdomen. Then she lowered her head, licked the nipple on my left chest, and with her other hand gently circled the one on the right. A soft pleasure tickled my brain.
"...I don't think I did that to you, though."
As if in revenge, she smiled cutely and reached her hand toward my lower half. And then her expression immediately turned puzzled, and a moment later — whatever she'd thought — her face went white.
Ah, crap!
That damned skill! I'd released the libido-suppression skill while we were kissing, but I'd forgotten the side effect — temporary erectile dysfunction. It would fade naturally with time, but right now every second counted.
I hurriedly drew up my mana to force an erection. Doing this would make the side-effect period even longer. What would have been ten days would now last a month. During that time, even using mana wouldn't get it up again. But right now, I couldn't afford to wait.
The timing, however, was a little late.
"...D-do I... really have that little... appeal?"
Joo Ha-yeon's trembling pupils turned toward my face.