Chapter 121
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 121
“…….”
The Marquis said nothing.
Whether he was unable to answer or was trying to gauge my thoughts, I couldn't tell. I didn't have the luxury of trying to read someone else's mind as I usually did.
I simply wiped my tears away with my sleeve and spoke.
“I struggled just to stay alive.”
I wished the tears streaming down my cheeks would carve into his heart, not mine.
With a heart that was that wicked, that spiteful, and that honest.
“That is how I survived to be able to speak with you like this. So, do not blame me.”
“…….”
“None of you have the right to blame me.”
Not a single person in this room.
“I wasn't blaming you...”
Marquis Aster Frezier, who looked as if he were about to heave something up, took a slow, deep breath. It was as if a vast, churning ocean was finally settling into a hushed calm.
“……I wasn't blaming you.”
“I’m sure you weren't,” I muttered pointlessly.
I knew.
I knew that as time went on, Grandfather had treated me truly well.
I knew the twins had opened their hearts to me.
And I knew they would go to any lengths for me now.
But what about the Tulia before that?
What about my heart, which had been so anxious, as if walking on thin ice?
The sorrow that had been tightly constricting my chest collapsed like a pile of ash.
The countless red cracks etched into young Tulia’s heart might heal someday, but that day was not today.
I was well aware that neglect was also a form of abuse.
I knew that endurance was also a form of self-harm.
I used to cheer myself up by saying, ‘Everyone is being quite nice to Tulia, considering she’s the villainess,’ but in truth, I knew.
‘Should everyone really be this indifferent and cold to Tulia, who is their family?’
That was my true feeling.
And so.
“I knelt before Grandfather and begged. I begged him just to let me live.”
“…….”
“I told him I wouldn't get married, that I wouldn't do anything, so could he please just give me my share of the dowry in advance? Because I truly felt like I was going to starve to death.”
“…….”
“I kept smiling to win over my brothers. Because I knew they hated me. Because I knew they had no interest in me…….”
How terrified and fearful I was back then, how I trembled at the thought that my throat might be slit at any moment.
The result was a happy ending, but I hadn't yet forgotten that the process was hell.
“You ask why I didn't send someone to the border front?”
I wanted to take every single one of the Marquis’s words, turn them inside out, and hurl my wounds back at him.
Like a wicked daughter desperate to hurt her parents, I couldn't stop questioning him, my eyes rimmed with red.
“Everyone mocked me as the ‘abandoned lady,’ and you expected me to find the courage to send someone to you first?”
“…….”
“To tell you that I was starving and freezing to death, so please, could you spare even a single penny……?”
“…….”
“Could you have done that, Marquis?”
“…….”
“What about Grandfather? Or my brothers?”
“……Tulia.”
Lisian slowly bit his lip.
I looked at Leon’s devastated expression and Grandfather’s heavy gaze in turn, then let out a hollow laugh as tears spilled over.
“See? None of you could have done it.”
“…….”
“None of you would have been able to beg like that……. So why did you all think I could……?”
“…….”
I had been shouting alone, but since no one answered—or rather, no one could—only silence remained.
I quietly shifted my gaze.
Elegant sunlight poured in through the large windows, and the chandeliers and candlesticks radiated beautiful light, yet this place was as quiet as a shadow where no sun reached.
Like flowers frozen to death in the shade, not a single Frezier here opened their mouth.
Since Tulia’s eyes were green, I wondered if my eyes looked like withered leaves right now.
I stood up and bowed politely to the Marquis.
“Thank you for the child support you sent all this time, Marquis.”
* * *
“The Randelleur Warehouse wasn't originally a place like this.”
I muttered as I buried myself deep in the blankets.
A few hours ago, after walking straight out of the council chamber, I didn't return to my bedroom in the main castle.
Nor did I go to Lisian’s room.
I just didn't want to be there, so I walked out of the main castle, and my feet led me here to the Randelleur Warehouse.
The place Tulia had known as her castle.
The place where Tedric was later exiled.
Tulia’s old bedroom, which used to be filled with nothing but old bedding that smelled of dampness, had been completely refreshed.
With good blankets, sheets, and pillows that were fluffy, soft, and fragrant.
Wrapping myself in things that felt like clouds made me feel a little better.
Adel, who had performed this magic, sat beside me and meticulously straightened the blankets.
“Thank you.”
“It’s nothing, My Lady. It’s only natural.”
She had been quietly present in the courtroom earlier.
So she must have heard everything I said while shedding those tears.
Adel probably hadn't known either—the fact that my child support had been completely embezzled.
Since even I hadn't known.
“My Lady, you must be hungry.”
Her eyes were slightly red as she looked at me. I blinked and spoke in a raspy voice.
“I’ll eat dinner before I sleep, Adel.”
“I’ve already prepared some stew, My Lady. I thought meat might be hard to digest, so I made a cream stew with button mushrooms and clam meat.”
A generous serving of button mushroom cream stew in a wide ceramic bowl.
Steam rose from the hot cream stew, where crisp croutons were beginning to soften and melt.
“It’s going down well. Even though I didn't have an appetite.”
As I finished half the bowl in an instant, Adel replied with a voice thick with emotion.
“It’s because your heart feels empty and sorrowful, My Lady. Please, eat plenty.”
Late that evening.
I nodded at Adel’s request to pull the bell pull if I needed anything, as she would be in the room next door.
‘This used to be a place where no one would come, no matter how much you pulled the bell pull.’
Was it because my status had changed?
Or because I finally had people on my side?
A fire roared in the hearth, and the bedding, which smelled of sunlight, was already imbued with a cozy warmth.
The room itself was still old, but that actually helped calm me down.
When I first opened my eyes here.
When I looked in the mirror and saw Tulia Frezier standing there.
It was truly absurd.
From the moment Tulia’s memories began to flow into me, and after the status window bestowed that terrifying Main Quest upon me...
Whenever I was scared, I relied on the persona of ‘Tulia.’
Tulia is a crazy, reckless brat.
Tulia is the ultimate boss of this area.
She made me do things I could never have done as Han Ina.
Perhaps the existence of Tulia Frezier was my only shield, and at the same time, my only life.
That was the kind of existence she was.
“A long time from now……”
When I’ve successfully completed the Main Quest as Tulia and no longer have to worry about my life.
Will I fully refer to myself as ‘Tulia’ then?
I didn't know.
I only knew that I wanted Tulia to be happy.
Which was the same as saying I wanted myself to be happy.
I got up and walked to the window. When I pulled back the shabby, old curtains that hadn't been replaced yet, dust fluttered everywhere.
“Cough, cough, hack, wheeze!”
Coughing, I hurried to fling the window wide open.
The night sky was infused with dim moonlight. The air was cold, but it snapped me awake.
“Phew. I thought I was going to suffocate.”
Winter was slowly coming to an end, and when spring arrived, the vast grounds of the garden would be filled with tulips.
‘I even made them plant a ton of tulips on purpose. Since I’m the one in charge of the internal affairs now.’
I had told the gardeners to fill half the garden with tulips, and not a single one of them protested. They all just bowed and said they would, which was almost a thrill.
I imagined the tulips in full bloom in the garden. All sorts of colors and vitality. A spring full of life.
That space, glowing with every color imaginable, would be a fantasy just to look at. It would be a comfort.
“Let’s be happy. If only out of spite, we have to be happy.”
Just as I was muttering to myself.
Knock, knock.
The sound of a knock followed immediately.
“Adel? Come in.”
With the creak of the door opening, I heard heavy footsteps.
They were different from Adel’s usual soft, quiet steps.
The weight was clearly different, a heavy tread that could be felt.
I turned around, my eyes widening.
“Marquis?”
Because Marquis Aster Frezier was walking into the room.