Forced Transfer (1)
The fish in the tank were tearing into a dead one. The very fish I had especially cherished. A school of Bipas greedily devouring the lifeless Sumatra for breakfast.
The Bipas had been a gift, yet they still looked repulsive. They were hideous from the first moment I laid eyes on them, so I never treated them as ornamental fish. The way they ripped apart fish carcasses under the pretense of cleaning was grotesque too.
I couldn't tell if it had died of old age or from an attack, but one thing was certain: the fish being eaten and I could only stare at each other.
I stood there, blankly watching the dead tropical fish get cleared away.
"Oh Hae-in. You're not getting ready and just staring at the fish tank? Snap out of it!"
Before I knew it, my parents were standing in the living room, watching me. Father spoke first, unable to hold back his anger, while Mother kept her face turned away.
"Son... if you do something bad again, we won't be able to protect you. You understand that, right...?"
Mother spoke without looking at me, treating me like a perpetrator of school violence.
Ha... They really were something else.
My previously dazed expression must have twisted into one of disgust, because Father grabbed my collar, his temper exploding as the buttons on my uniform for the forced-transfer high school strained.
"You little shit? Answer me, Oh Hae-in. Say you won't do it again. Speak properly to your parents!!"
"......"
"Answer me right now!"
"H-honey... please stop...."
At Mother's tearful voice, Father finally released my uniform. I straightened my wrinkled blazer and calmly delivered the words that threatened to shake.
"Don't worry. I won't hurt anyone there, and I'll stay quiet."
"You'd better! Our family's reputation... Never mind, just go...."
"...I'll be back."
With those final words, I left the house and headed for the new school assigned as my disciplinary punishment. The weather forecast had been right—it started raining, so I had to use an umbrella.
Ah. The umbrella in my hand was the one Ga-rang had left behind... I'd use it for now.
I opened the umbrella. The only sound was the sticky raindrops hammering its surface.
— Shaaaah.
The path to the bus stop was pitch dark despite the early hour. The rain felt especially viscous today.
"Oh Hae-in. Hey... stop there."
As I walked with vacant eyes, my former friend Lee Ga-rang called out to me while standing in the rain. Without an umbrella, her white hair soaked through, she slowly approached.
"Ga-rang. ...What are you doing?"
"...An apology. A sincere one."
"Apology... I've said it until I'm sick of it."
"You bastard.... How can you still call yourself human?"
It was painful to look at Ga-rang standing in the rain, but her two green lights, bitterly ignited, stared straight at me. Her eyes gazed at me with heartbreaking pity. In the end, I had no choice but to meet them.
"Stop staring. We're finished."
"Wow... You really are beyond saving."
"Yeah. Dragging this out will only frustrate us both."
Ga-rang looked so fragile standing pathetically in the rain that I handed her the umbrella I'd been holding.
"Here. You left this before. I'm returning it."
The hand holding the umbrella gripped mine tightly as I tried to pull away.
"What are you trying to do?"
Her pretty hand, drenched by the rain, clutched mine. Still getting soaked, she looked up at me with lonely eyes.
"...Calm your emotions and speak properly. We still have time."
Ga-rang's hair was unraveling from the constant downpour, and she seemed to struggle to form words.
"Hey. If you keep standing in the rain, your hair will be ruined. And let go of my hand."
"......"
I quietly pried her fingers from mine.
"The bus is coming soon. There's still a little time, but if you don't leave now you'll be late too, so go."
Right on cue, the bus approached. I stepped slightly away from Ga-rang.
"Hae-in... Why did you do it... Our family's secret...."
"....... There must have been a reason."
I couldn't answer the sorrowful question drifting from behind me. Because it wasn't me.
The secret of hers that I'd learned by accident... I had never spoken it aloud.
"Hey! Do you know what the kids say about me...? About me...."
Ga-rang dropped the umbrella and hurled her resentment at me before breaking into sobs.
"And... to Na-rin and Sang-hui too... Even they suffered because of you."
"......"
She even named my precious old friends who had been wounded by the school violence I supposedly committed. Of course, I had never actually done it.
"Have you said everything? Let's part ways."
I had no desire to continue the conversation, so I suggested we end it there. At those words, Ga-rang's rain-soaked, pitiful eyes formed a hollow smile.
"Hae-in. I had hoped that at least you'd tell me you sincerely reflected on what you did."
"Did you? Well, I've apologized until I'm sick of it, so let's end this now. It's getting pathetic."
The moment the word pathetic left my mouth, the version of me reflected in Ga-rang's once-pathetic eyes was now steeped in contempt.
"Oh Hae-in. You're really going to act like this until the end? Fine. I... No, we will also—"
"To me? I don't know what you're planning, but don't act childish."
"Ha... Childish? You really are irredeemable trash. You perpetrator bastard who toyed with us!"
"......Yeah. I'm the trash. The bastard who did terrible things to you all...."
— Shaaaaah.
Even as the rain continued to roar, I was nothing but a school violence perpetrator. A framed one.
"Why? Does it feel unfair? Because of you, Na-rin and Sang-hui—"
"Ha... Yeah. It's all my fault. So can you just leave?"
"Remember this, Hae-in. You threw away your last chance to earn forgiveness."
"Forgiveness? What forgiveness. Spouting such bullshit. Just go already."
The reunion with Ga-rang didn't end warmly. We had only poured bitter echoes onto each other.
Soon the bus stopped considerately at the curb. I boarded without another word, paid the fare, and took a seat. The only spots left were by the window.
I sat down and absentmindedly glanced at the rain-streaked glass beside me. Ga-rang was still standing there, holding the umbrella yet letting herself get drenched, glaring at me. She didn't seem to care that her tied-back hair had come loose into long, wet strands.
The bus pulled away. I roughly wiped the moisture from my clothes.
I pulled a tropical fish magazine from my bag. I tried to kill time with Aqua Life, but the fish inside couldn't erase the raw image of Ga-rang's face.
Drip. Drip. Drip. Drip.
Damn it. Water droplets were falling onto the pages.
The leftover rainwater was still seeping from my body, clinging like a brand. I closed the magazine. My hair stayed damp no matter what.
Before long the bus stopped. I was near the newly assigned school. With no umbrella anymore, I had to walk through the rain just like Ga-rang.
A few passersby seemed to whisper as they looked at me, but I ignored them. Right around the time filthy rainwater began seeping into my shoes—
"Wait there."
As I turned my head, an umbrella appeared over me. I looked down at the person sharing half of it.
A girl with a sly appearance yet an unpleasant gaze. Her uniform told me she attended the same school.
"You don't have to share. I don't need it."
It was true. I was in a whatever-happens-happens state of mind.
"You're a second-year, right? Oh Hae-in. I've never seen that name before."
She had read my name tag. Since she wore an outer layer over her uniform, I couldn't tell which year she was.
"Even stray cats avoid the rain. Stop talking nonsense and take it."
She clearly didn't like the way I looked and was helping anyway. We walked toward school together, avoiding puddles.
"I'll hold it. Want to hand it over?"
I was taller, so I offered, but she refused with a sharp glare. I had no choice but to walk beside her in silence.
Soon we passed through the main gate and entered the school building. I shook off what water I could... and never got around to thanking her or asking her name.
Ha... This is how I've been lately.
I was about to approach her as she opened her umbrella to shake off the water.
"Hey..."
Just as she turned toward my voice—
A group of students who seemed close to her grabbed her hand and pulled her forward. And the name... what a coincidence.
The newly met Na-rin gave me a small wave, then smiled brightly at her friends and left. Her friends glanced at me with clear wariness.
As if they knew exactly who I was.
Of course they did. The news that a perpetrator who had committed school violence against three classmates had been forcibly transferred here must have already spread.
But more than that, the fact that this school also had a girl named Na-rin... They only shared a name, nothing more.
With wet feet shoved into slippers, I headed for the teachers' office. Along the way, several students sent me unpleasant looks.
I glared at them like they were trash, and the boys who had been staring quickly looked away, tails between their legs. My identity had clearly spread through the entire school.
There was nothing I could do about it, but being forced to feel this filthy emotion only made me feel filthier. Still, I endured it. I had promised myself I would live quietly.
— Knock, knock.
I opened the door to the teachers' office and stepped inside. The moment they saw me, a bespectacled teacher approached.
"You're Oh Hae-in, correct?"
"Yes, I'm the new transfer—"
"Forced transfer, you mean. Sigh, for a student like you to end up here...."
The four-eyed bastard sighed openly while looking at me. I could barely control my emotions—no, myself.
"Hey. Watch your mouth."
"Wh-what...? You—"
"Shut your trap."
At my slightly irritated tone, the glasses-wearing teacher froze, unable to speak, and immediately lowered his head. The other teachers looked frightened for some reason.
I had told my parents that morning I would live quietly, yet that promise had already shattered on the first day. If I went home now, I'd only get scolded again. That was the only thought circling in my head.