Chapter 34
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 34
Chapter Title: Kid's Dad
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Rinea would say it whenever she had a spare moment.
"Become a better person."
At mealtimes, while doing laundry, even as she lay down to sleep.
Like she was chanting a spell.
And every time I heard it,
I'd think to myself just how pathetic it was.
A penniless whore hoping to raise her kid into a success story so she could leech off him later.
The classic "kid coin" wishful thinking.
I didn't have any cheat-level powers or genius-level brains.
Hell, I'd spent thirty years scraping by at the bottom in my past life,
so what difference would being born from your crippled womb make?
That's why her constant nagging grated on me like an earache.
So one day, I just straight-up asked her.
"What the hell does that even mean?"
"...Huh?"
"What exactly is a 'better person'?"
Rinea looked flustered.
She paused mid-brush with her worn-out comb in my hair, pondering for a long while.
I knew what kind of answer an uneducated woman with nothing to her name could scrape together.
"Um... someone who doesn't do bad things?"
"And what's a bad thing?"
"Like... hurting people? Or doing stuff you shouldn't..."
Okay, so what counts as "stuff you shouldn't"?
I pressed her relentlessly.
Rinea fidgeted, counting on her fingers.
"Well... lying? Stealing?"
"What about selling your body?"
Her face flushed beet red at that.
She pouted and shot me a glare.
"...That's just to survive."
"Hmph."
"You're such a brat."
I snickered,
and she pinched my cheek with a mock stern face.
"Anyway... just don't do bad things. Stay healthy.
Live happily with the people you love..."
A simple definition, no grand philosophy or ambitions.
"Wouldn't that make you a better person?"
That phrase stuck to her lips like a habit
might just have been her way of wishing for an ordinary life.
Of course, her usual mindset toward me—"My kid will turn out different"—
stemmed from dissatisfaction with her own life,
projecting her fantasies of a better existence onto me without asking...
But I had to admit one thing was off.
At least she wasn't scheming to cash in on her kid someday.
That realization dulled the irritation a bit.
"Alright, got it. Basically, don't commit crimes?"
"Yeah... bad things lead to big trouble."
Rinea playfully
pressed her slender wrists together and held them out in front of me.
"You'll go to jail."
.....
How fucking ironic.
Right now, I was being hauled off to prison.
Clank, clank.
The heavy iron chains bit into my wrists and ankles, the sound pounding in my ears.
Burly, fully armored brutes gripped my arms, dragging me along,
while at least fifty more thugs marched in a long column ahead and behind, radiating killing intent.
How the hell did it come to this? Rewind a bit...
.....
Right after escaping the underground,
I climbed to the third floor and ripped down the curtain hanging in the scorpion bastard's room.
Then I wrapped it tight around the kid.
If we'd gone out like that and someone saw us, I'd look like a kidnapper or a pervert.
Prime loli-con bait.
[Wahhh! Waaahhh!]
And her crying was another issue.
It wasn't just ear-piercing; it felt like my eardrums were bleeding.
In the end, I picked up a relatively clean wooden block from the floor
and whittled it down with my dagger.
[Bite this.]
I shoved the makeshift pacifier into her mouth by force,
and finally, the wails turned to sucking sounds.
Thinking we could slip out quietly now, I reached for the door—
Crash!
A sudden impact,
and the door I'd been pushing flew inward instead.
[Don't move!!]
[It's him! Surround him!]
Dozens of armored goons poured in,
their spear tips all trained on me in unison.
[By the laws of the kingdom,]
[you are under arrest for the distribution and proliferation of prohibited narcotics.]
[......What?]
The fuck?
Drug distribution? Proliferation?
...Me?
.....
Flashback over.
Back to reality.
And so here I was,
not a hero who'd wiped out a drug ring, but the ringleader who'd spread the powder everywhere,
being dragged like a dog by the kingdom's guards.
"...So that's why that bitch came back."
She must've spotted them swarming in while she was out coin-farming.
Before I got skewered or arrested,
she'd dashed back to grab her cut.
Before slipping away alone, that is.
You fucking dog of a woman. Should've spoken up straight.
Even if it's a one-day fling bought with coin, this is cold-blooded.
Stupid bitch?
Nah, the stupid one was me!
Proves that a dumb head means a suffering body.
Thud!
That's when Noy, glued to my side as we walked, face-planted.
The pacifier flew from her mouth, tumbling across the dirt,
and
"Waaahhh!!"
she started bawling again, loud as ever.
"Get up! Walk straight, damn it?!"
A guard's spear shaft whipped toward her,
smacking her back with a thud.
"Hng! Kaa... Waaahhh...!"
Noy rolled on the ground.
The cloth around her unraveled into the mud,
leaving her stark naked again,
a fresh red welt blooming on her bony back.
Hm, that'll bruise.
No one around to throw themselves in harm's way for her now.
I'd killed Beat, after all.
My wrists and ankles were chained, limiting me to a shuffle anyway,
and I had zero reason to take a hit for her.
Of all the rotten luck, running into Beat and her spawn there.
Should've killed 'em all, torched the place, and bolted.
Wasted time playing hero,
missed the guards' footsteps outside amid the racket.
Blame it all on that useless mother-daughter duo.
Just get up already—instead of rolling and wailing like that...
"Ah, hold on."
"...?"
The words slipped out unbidden,
halting the guard's foot mid-stomp on Noy's back.
"Let's hustle, yeah?
You wanna hang around reeking like this?"
The column moved slow.
Over an hour in, and we hadn't even cleared the slums' seventh district.
Main culprit: Noy collapsing every few steps.
"...Hah, you blind? This little shit's..."
"So kill the nuisance and move on.
We'll get there at nightfall like this."
The guard's face twisted at my jab,
spitting,
"You're the prime distributor, this one's a user.
Both headed to jail for severe punishment."
Guess that's by the book.
"Can't kill us here, then?"
"...Right."
"Then carry her or something since you won't."
His face soured.
"You want me to carry that filthy drugged-up brat?"
The guard recoiled in disgust.
Fair enough. Mud-caked, drooling from the drug haze—not fit for noble soldiers' armor.
"Fine, put her on me."
I raised my chained hands.
"I'm beat as is; no more dragging."
"..."
He glared murderously, then signaled their captain up front.
The silver-armored guard captain glanced over, nodded lazily.
"About time."
I shuffled up,
grabbed the mud-smeared pacifier from the dirt.
Stuck it in my mouth, sucked off the grime,
tongued away the dirt, rinsed with spit.
Shoved it back into the shivering kid's mouth.
"There, quit crying. Be good."
"Hic... Mm... "
Noy stared blankly, then stopped sobbing and sucked away.
I turned my back to the dumbstruck guards and squatted.
"Load her on. Tie her down if you can."
They grimaced but hoisted Noy onto my back like luggage, binding her tight with rope.
Her damp, warm body pressed against me.
Bony as hell—not too heavy.
The captain approached, eyeing us.
"Pretending to care now, after corrupting her?"
"How many times? Wasn't me."
I grumbled back, bouncing to settle her,
and stood.
"...Keep denying it; evidence is overflowing."
"Sigh, suit yourself."
I exhaled heavily.
For the record, from the chaining-up to now,
I'd been denying it nonstop.
Just got looped responses: evidence exists, overflowing, we're certain, shut your mouth.
Like an ARS AI chatbot.
"Move out."
The march resumed.
Feeling the extra ankle strain from the pacifier-munching kid,
I pondered inwardly.
Evidence, huh. What could it be?
The powder crates scattered underground?
Women croaked like lab rats in grotesque states?
Or the scorpion and his goons' corpse pile?
Circumstantial at best—not enough for "prime culprit" certainty.
Only one thing left.
'Witness.'
Someone fingered me.
Said I was the perp, the source of all this drug mess.
Who? Tough to pinpoint now.
Suspects galore.
Ten years under that psycho Sharl,
with Kain—noble houses, merchant guilds, this shithole.
Scoured the kingdom.
Killed who needed killing, collected debts,
snatched decent lays for the master's pussy toys.
They'd curse my face, grind teeth, personal attacks.
Borrowing the scorpion's words,
strutting with Kaintrea's name on my back.
Kain always at my side,
Kaintrea backing scary,
they shut up on-site—no retaliation.
But framing me as a criminal? Sneaky revenge.
Even with dyed hair and masks,
someone might've clocked me.
Tavern wench I groped for intel,
or a surviving small-fry from the viper's warehouse.
Hell, even Paerin.
Money-grubber like her,
playing dumb to claim my bounty too.
"Hah... what a life."
Why are all the untrustworthy shits drawn to this nice, warm-hearted body steeped in good deeds?
That's when it came.
"Slurp... Daddy."
A tiny voice from my back.
Noy spat out the pacifier and mumbled.
"Daddy... hungry."
I let out a baffled chuckle.
Daddy?
Me? Never creampied a pussy in either life—just jerked off.
"Daddy my ass. Who’s your dad?
Never even fucked your mom."
"Hunggry..."
Whining for something in her mouth.
Makes sense—
her brain's regressed from the powder ages ago,
wood pacifier's got no juice,
so yeah, hungry.
I craned my neck, scanning the guards flanking me.
All grizzled, bearded stinky uncles.
"Hey, fellas."
"...What."
Casual ask.
"Any of you got milk coming from your nips?"
Not a single one among the bunch lactated.
Too bad.
Ya never know.
Maybe a former married mom TS'd into an uncle,
glitch left her with moobs that squirt.
One might've been hiding.
.....