Chapter 27
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 26
Chapter Title: Shopping (2)
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To cut a long story short,
"It's just a bunch of fucking worthless scum."
I clicked my tongue as I looked down at the meaty lumps sprawled across the floor.
Guys foaming at the mouth and passed out, ones rolling around with broken arms, others pissing themselves in terror.
Recycling? Sorting trash? Bullshit.
This place was nothing but a waste disposal site.
They all deserved to be burned to ashes and sent up in smoke.
"Haa... What a waste of time."
I'd lowered my expectations, but not this low.
Taking any of these ragtag losers along would just mean serving up a meat party for those scorpion bastards.
Irritation surged up inside me.
"Ptooey."
I spat on the floor and turned away.
No point wasting more time here. Better head to another sector...
"......?"
That was when I noticed it.
In the middle of the chaos where everyone else was groaning on the ground,
one shadow remained standing.
"......"
Wrapped head to toe in a dingy gray cloak.
The hood was pulled so low that not even eyes, nose, or mouth were visible,
and the cloak hid any curves, making it impossible to guess gender or build.
What the hell is that creepy thing?
I figured it was just a spectator and started to ignore it,
but then the shadow smoothly stepped in front of me.
And from under the hood came a voice with a bizarre accent.
"Are you from the East?"
"......Huh?"
I scowled.
What the hell was that? Slurred speech?
"I'm from the East too."
The figure spouted more incomprehensible nonsense.
The voice had a slightly high pitch, so maybe not a guy,
or perhaps some kid whose voice hadn't fully changed.
But my mood was already in the gutter,
and I had no patience for twenty questions or language lessons.
"...You wanna throw down too?"
"No, I just wanted to talk..."
"What're you yapping about, fuck."
I didn't hesitate, kicking off the ground and charging straight at the figure.
Closing the distance in an instant, I threw a straight punch at the solar plexus.
Fast and clean. Meant to end it right there.
Whoosh-!
"......Huh?"
My fist sliced through empty air.
Or more precisely, the figure vanished just before it connected.
It had leaped back lightly, like a flying squirrel.
Not even a sound of landing.
What the...?
I narrowed my eyes. Luck?
The figure tilted its head and started babbling again.
To me, it looked exactly like,
[To him, is that all you've got? Pfft. ]
Which pissed me off.
"Dodged it, huh?"
This time, I cranked up the speed for real.
Thud!
A low kick aimed at the legs, then shifting trajectory mid-jump to smash the upper body.
A combo that would've spun any normal guy's jaw without a chance to react.
But the figure twisted its body mid-air in a weird way to evade the kick,
touched my shoulder lightly, and tumbled backward to land gracefully.
Softly.
"Well, look at you, doing circus tricks?"
"Wait!"
I curled my lip.
I thought this dump was all trash,
but who'd have guessed a surprise gem at the end.
Shing-!
I drew the dagger from my waist.
Playtime with bare hands was over.
"Let's see if you can dodge a knife to the gut."
Slash!
The dagger traced a cold arc toward the figure's throat.
But it didn't panic.
Clang!
"......!"
Something flashed from inside the cloak, deflecting my dagger.
Up close, it was a small, curved blade about the size of a palm.
Clang! Clang!
Sparks flew. I pressed relentlessly.
Thrusting, slashing, spinning to find openings.
But the figure flowed like a dancer, parrying, countering, slipping away.
Fast. Not just quick feet,
but fluid, eerily flexible movements.
When I tried to overpower with strength, it slithered away like a snake,
and when I chased with speed, it scattered like smoke.
"I told you already."
"......?"
"Hit me..."
I cut my breath short.
"And you pass!"
Squeezing every muscle, I pushed my speed to the limit.
Vwoom-!
The dagger left afterimages as it stormed forward.
Slash and thrust, overhead stab, then upward reverse slice.
A storm of strikes leaving no room to breathe.
"......!"
The figure's movements grew frantic.
Cloak flaps fluttered, barely grazing my blade,
and the clash of its curved sword against my dagger screamed like cries.
Clang! Clang! Clang!
Sparks scattered everywhere.
I cornered it against the wall. No more room to retreat.
Now what're you gonna do?
My dagger snaked toward its opening.
The figure's eyes changed as escape became impossible.
Abandoning flight, it finally bared killing intent.
"You little mutt!"
It swung its curved blade at my throat.
Counter. Just what I wanted.
The instant its blade grazed my neck,
I ducked low and plunged into its guard. Then,
Thud!
I slammed my shoulder into its gut.
We tumbled to the ground in a tangle.
Crash!
Dust billowed up. My head spun from the impact, but
I instinctively seized the mount position.
Reaching to grab its collar and pin it down...
No, I pressed down on its chest.
Squish.
"......?"
The sensation under my palm was weird.
Not hard armor or tough muscle.
Heavy, soft,
and overflowing between my fingers, so full and plump.
"......Huh."
Unconsciously, I squeezed and released to confirm.
Who knew such a monster was hidden under that ragged cloak.
That was when
the figure under me spoke in a voice ice-cold and dry.
"Hey."
"......Huh?"
"Enjoying it? Groping away."
No more gibberish.
Fluent, clear local speech dripping with killing intent.
I blankly looked from my hand
to the red lips peeking under the hood, back and forth...
"Yeah. Nice and firm."
Before long, I burst out laughing.
"You speak the language, and you've got big tits."
Not letting go, I declared with conviction.
"You pass."
"Let go soon. Before I really kill you."
Even at her vicious reply, I couldn't stop laughing.
Just like that time,
it felt like finding a ruby ring in a trash heap.
.....
The situation was over.
We stood at a distance from each other.
The figure indifferently straightened its disheveled cloak,
while I savored the feel from moments ago and sized it up.
Female, for starters, with excellent-sized tits. About my height.
And damn solid skills too.
Pretty good draw from this dump, I thought,
when
"Hand it over."
The dry, rustling voice cut in.
"......What?"
"Pay for groping."
The figure stuck out a hand toward me.
"No freebies in this world.
You groped, so pay up."
"Ha."
I let out an incredulous laugh.
No blushing in shame, no rage at being touched,
just straight-up presenting a bill?
"How much? For touching tits."
"1 silver."
"No way in hell."
I snorted and waved it off.
"As a former brothel owner, I say that's a total rip-off."
"......Rip-off?"
"I didn't finger you or suck 'em.
Just a quick squish over clothes, and you want 1 silver? Fat chance!"
I ranted, pointing accusingly.
"And let's be real, haven't checked your face yet!"
"......"
Pointing at the drab hood,
"How do I know if these are pretty girl tits or some hag's saggy udders,
or maybe tusked orc boobs for all I know!"
My yell echoed through the slum underground hall.
The figure silently endured my tirade, then
wordlessly raised a hand.
Whoosh.
The thick hood pulled back.
Jet-black straight hair hidden in the cloak cascaded down past the shoulders.
And the revealed face.
"......"
I blanked out for a second.
Healthy, smooth skin without a single blemish, pure Eastern beauty.
Long eyes without double lids, cool yet seductively alluring,
a sharp nose and cherry lips in perfect harmony.
Like meeting in the flesh the debut cover model from the prime spot in my past life's new releases.
The face of an S-rank Japanese AV actress, blending innocence and decadence.
A beauty so out of place in this trash heap.
With her face exposed, she looked up at me impassively and asked.
"Still..."
"......"
"A rip-off?"
I blankly shifted between her face, chest, and face again.
Calculations raced in my head.
5 seconds later.
I pulled a silver coin from my pocket
and gently placed it on her palm.
"Mm, fair price. Approved."
Face really does make all the difference.
She snatched the silver like a hawk and tucked it deep in her cloak.
"Deal done."
"......You're one crazy bitch."
Anyway,
"What was that gibberish earlier? You speak fine now."
Her gaze went to my crown, specifically my hair.
"Hair color."
"My hair?"
"It's black."
She said flatly.
"Thought you were a compatriot like me."
"Ah."
Now it clicked.
This chick really came from the Eastern continent,
and thanks to this cheap dye, she'd felt an unexpected bond.
"It's dyed. I'm a local."
"Figures. You act just like the thugs here."
"Fuck you."
I chuckled and stepped closer.
Misunderstanding cleared, time for business.
"Alright, now for the background check."
"...Background check?"
"Name. Age."
Basics if we're working together.
But she clamped her mouth and just stared.
"Spit it out. Name first."
"Why should I?"
"...What?"
She gave me a pitiful look, then
pulled the hood back on,
"Not a compatriot, no business, so I'm out."
And turned away without hesitation.
"Hey, wait."
I reached for her shoulder in disbelief, but
remembered the 1 silver scam and pulled back. No more gold-digging.
"Aren't you a mercenary?"
"Yeah."
She kept walking, answering dryly.
"Didn't hear what I said earlier?"
"What?"
"I'm hiring!"
"All I saw was you beating up the guys here."
Now I got it.
She wasn't here when I yelled "3 gold" from the platform earlier.
Slipped in late and approached because of the black hair.
"Hey, stop."
"No."
"I'll pay."
"Don't believe you. Won't even give 1 silver, just yapping."
She headed for the stairs without looking back.
I smirked and pulled out the heavy pouch from my bosom.
Clink-!
I upended it, spilling onto the floor.
Over a hundred gold coins from raiding the viper's secret stash.
A golden waterfall poured onto the filthy ground.
The dim underground hall flashed with brilliance.
"......!"
Her steps halted abruptly.
"Believe me now?"
I nudged the pile with my foot.
Slowly,
she turned back like slow motion.
"......What's the job?"
"Sword work."
"How long?"
"Short: one night. Long: till morning?"
I picked up a gold coin and tossed it to her.
Thud.
She caught it instinctively and bit it to check.
So suspicious.
It's real, idiot.
"1 gold upfront."
"......For real?"
"Success, and 2 more gold."
Generous offer.
No one in these slums shells out like this.
She strode back to me.
I grinned, satisfied.
Her answer, predictably,
"Food."
Uh, what?
"......What?"
"Buy me food too."
She pulled off the hood again, leaning in close,
thrusting that face right under my nose,
"Then I'll do it."
Her eyes sparkled eagerly.
"1 gold, you shameless..."
"You got money. Buy it."
She nodded at the gold pile,
with the most brazen, entitled expression.
And added,
"P.S., I like meat."
"......Ha."
Damn, what a nutjob.
For a second, I wondered if I'd picked up a retard by mistake,
and started getting a bit worried.
.....