Chapter 68
Chapter 68
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 68
Chapter Title: Pig Hunt (8)
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Two hundred years had passed since Elrain's Emperor His Majesty overthrew the corrupt Caffein dynasty of Franch, and our founder, Bremen von Nant, who played a great role in that, was granted the title of Count of Nant.
During that time, our family had boasted the dignity and valor befitting the Counts of Nant countless times, leading brave and peerless vassals into honorable battles.
And I, the great Schwein von Nant, their blood descendant, was now writing a new chapter in the history of the House of Nant—dealing with a mad dog named Siel von Kroitel who wouldn't even listen to his master's commands and acted however he pleased.
Yes, I had conquered the county of that bastard Helsman, the count from our longtime enemy Franch.
At that moment, the knights around me and the many vassals I thought were loyal were busy praising me.
"Wow, Your Excellency is truly amazing. You even gave that Siel bastard a chance after he dared to make a peace treaty without your permission, and you took the castle without spilling a single drop of blood!"
"That's right! He made a slight mistake in the first battle, but results are what matter, aren't they? The Kroitels might have their noses up high now, but what can you do? We'll just carve off some territory and completely break their momentum!"
"The House of Count Nant seems to have gained a sage lord who surpasses our founder Bremen himself! Come on, Your Excellency, have a drink. This is some fine wine I looted from another serf village!"
So at that time, I thought I could do anything.
In fact, every baron and vassal hung on my every word, and there were even those who would choose real death, not just pretend, if I told them to die.
And in bed, as a hero should, my 'beautiful flower-like possessions' that I naturally had to 'love' were always begging for my affection and showering me with coquettish charm.
But now, the women who craved only my love were gone, of course, and the knights and vassals who had sworn on their lips to die for me had already fled.
Those rotten bastards, running away the moment they hit that cart made of crudely pieced-together wooden planks from Siel...
With those thoughts in mind, I began what was not a retreat—no, a strategic withdrawal—commanding the infantry to head back to Nant.
The guys left behind there... if they die for me, it'll be a worthy death...
They'll understand, right? In return for me defending Nant, I'll take good care of their families.
If they hear in heaven afterward that their pretty-faced daughter became my concubine, they'll surely be delighted.
This should be ample repayment for their loyalty.
By the time I had put some distance between myself and the knights, I heard the shouts of our knights charging at the enemy.
"Charge!! Charge!!"
"Count Nant is watching us!!!"
"Better death than surrender to the enemy!!"
With those words, my loyal knights were charging at Siel's sturdy spearmen, unaware that I had already abandoned the front lines.
Thank you for dying for me. You are precious, but lacking compared to me...
Still, I must vow to repay that natural sacrifice.
That's the ideal knight from the chivalric romances, and I'm a magnanimous leader, after all.
After that, I kept riding toward the infantry unit.
I'm not certain, but there are second sons from knight families among the infantry, and those half-nobles...
If they rack up merits in the war following me, and I return safely, just granting them the right to live as knights and nobles will make them fight harder than Siel's soldiers.
Compared to a mere baron like Siel, I'm the head of a count's house with centuries of history.
For half-knights, dying for me is an honor in itself. Of course, serfs are just livestock in human form.
Like cows and horses, they'll naturally die for their master. When we get back, tossing them some 'barley' like we'd feed the cows and pigs will make them overjoyed.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇ True to their name as two-legged livestock, the serfs were armed with pitchforks, hoes, long forks, and flails—farm tools—and wore nothing but ragged, torn clothes fit for jacqueries.
Especially the serf right in front of me—his chest and groin were so torn that it was half-see-through... Ugh, filthy.
You couldn't expect military discipline from an army of serfs like these in the first place, but don't they even know how to stand properly?
As expected of lowly serfs who just look human. However, Deus himself said, 'Do not despise the cows and horses that work for you.'
So it would be right for me to show them a bit more tolerance and dignity.
Thus, still mounted, I asked the serf in front of me.
"So, jacquerie, who among you is the highest-ranking?"
Hearing that, the serf, knowing his place, bowed obsequiously before my splendor in gleaming armor and answered.
"My lord, the highest among us is Senior Centurion Georg. But what business do you have with him...?"
Daring to question me, a mere serf? Normally, I'd have beheaded him for sullying my honor...
But to show the magnanimity of a noble in not killing him even for daring to question me, I kicked the jacquerie's shin with my gauntlet.
I felt his shinbone shatter to powder at my boot's tip, and the jacquerie clutched his leg, writhing on the ground before me.
"Aaaagh... Aaaah... Aaaaagh..."
Having thus shown noble arrogance, another serf beside the one I kicked dropped to both knees and slammed his forehead into the muddy ground in proper serf fashion, saying,
"My lord, that jacquerie has committed a mortal sin. If you go inside here, Centurion Lincoln will come out. He knows all the details."
Indeed, even in defeat, not losing the dignity befitting a noble is truly important... Though the previous one lost to Siel's army of mere soldiers because my knights were incompetent.
If I exert my excellent abilities, I can lead these soldiers and knights just like now.
Thinking that put me in a good mood, so I smiled at the jacqueries and said,
"I am Schwein von Nant, your lawful liege. Summoning you here is your natural duty, but as a special grace from me! If you return to Nant Castle from here, I shall grant you barley!! Be grateful for my mercy."
Then I signaled to one jacquerie beside me, made him prostrate by my horse, and stepped on him to mount.
For a count like me to mount a horse, using a 'serf' as a mounting block is only natural.
No, even being touched by a noble count like me is the greatest fortune for that wretch.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇ After riding for about twenty minutes, there was a tent that was quite luxurious and large even for half-breeds.
And inside, half-noble bastards were fervently discussing strategy.
"Damn it, Centurion Georg! We're done for! We're about to get arrested for disobeying orders!"
"What are you talking about? Centurion Awyn! If we're arrested, we're all dead!"
"For this one, let's report it as distributing supplies to serfs who needed them. Then we'll be punished lightly for not reporting procurement, and we can survive. Surviving is the greatest filial piety, isn't it?"
"Filial piety my ass! Already!!"
The fools continued for a bit longer before spotting me.
The moment they saw me, every soldier in the tent, from Centurion Georg downward, knelt on one knee in respect.
Even among half-breeds, those with half noble blood know how to show decorum before me...
"Who is the man in charge here, Georg?"
To my words, a knight in his forties standing in the best spot in the tent cautiously replied.
"That would be me, sir. The current battle situation is...?"
"Don't you think I can explain all that myself? Do you think I'm a child?! Why demand I explain everything?"
"My apologies, but our advance was delayed... Seeing you must have suffered greatly, I just wanted to help now."
Different from uneducated jacqueries—even half-noble brats have class. Georg, was it? I should look after him well.
But that's for later. For now, even if I leave the knights to die, I need to get back to my territory before the enemy somehow.
"Too late. Your soldiers delayed because they looted instead of getting their four months' pay. Pathetic... As expected of vermin serfs... Isn't that right?"
"Yes, Your Excellency..."
A shadow seemed to cross Georg's face as he spoke, but it must have been shock at failing to execute the plan properly even after I arrived.
So I magnanimously pretended not to notice and continued.
"The 1,600 knights charged the wall of carts you see there but couldn't break through. To survive and preserve your forces, I came to this unit. Nobles who obey my orders and join in defending the castle will receive proper pay and land; serfs... I shall specially feed you barley to your fill. How about it?"
Georg muttered "1,600 knights, 1,600 knights" repeatedly as he listened, fixated on that part.
Sounds like a magic spell, hearing it like this.
After over thirty minutes, Georg smiled at me and said,
"Your Excellency, winning and losing in war is natural. So don't worry—rest well for now. We'll depart tomorrow. I've also prepared some food in my tent fit for you."
...This Georg fellow is quite useful. Preparing food because he worried I'd be tired.
Normally I'd pat his shoulder and reward him personally, but no time or leisure now...
"I was hungry—perfect timing. Thanks, Georg."
As I said that and moved to rest in Georg's tent, a tremendous impact struck the back of my head.
What, what is it?
As I pitched forward with a thud, Georg called to the other infantry leaders and said,
"Kill that bastard. With all the knights dead, it's over. You want to die like dogs following a lord with no honor?"
Hearing that, I tried to shout, 'You treacherous cur bastard!!' but my mouth wouldn't move.
"Listen up. Lord Kroitel has a huge grudge against our lord here. Now that he's in our hands, we have to kill him and bring proof. You know why, right?"
"If the infantry heading to Lord Kroitel learn we let that pig live, he'll turn his spears on us."
Georg laughed and said,
"Get to work. Strip the armor, then smash arms and legs bit by bit. Make it as cruel as possible—that'll vent our resentment for his discrimination, and earn more reward from Lord Siel."
You bastard Georg, half noble blood and you betray your lord...
But my body wouldn't move from the blow to the back of my head, and soon the soldiers had stripped me of my arm and leg armor, even my torso plates.
Then the wicked soldiers swung their iron maces at my toes and fingers.
With a crunch, my fingers and toes burst apart.
I couldn't move or make a sound... but the pain hadn't hit yet...
Moments later, I could make a sound from my mouth.
And what poured out was...
"Aaaaaagh!!! Aaaaaah!!!"
Just an incoherent scream. Ignoring my plight, they calmly swung at my ankles, wrists, calves, forearms, elbows, knees, shoulders, thighs in order.
Each time, unimaginable agony tore through my body.
The pain wouldn't fade; at first I wanted to live, but now I'd rather just die.
It hurts too much... beyond words...
"Aaaaaagh!!"
Now the wicked bastards brought their maces down on my torso.
With the sensation of my spine snapping, my shattered legs felt nothing anymore; after more blows, only my waist hurt...
No pain from hands or arms either.
And those bastards laughed as they...
"Our Count Excellency, who always called us half-breeds and scorned us, stuck us in a dump like this... It's an honor to send you off ourselves. Die now. Neck next!"
Then I felt excruciating pain as my neck broke, and after that... I couldn't think anymore.
The last sensation, the pain of a person's head bursting like a wet mud ball dropped from on high...
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇ The war was perfect.
Though 300 of our 5,000 soldiers were seriously wounded or killed blocking the knights' charge, that was a steal for routing 2,000 knights.
Of course, numerically a steal, but from the perspective of 'the families waiting for them'...
My heart isn't at ease.
And ha, with the 'Siege of Nant Castle' ahead, requiring even more such sacrifices...
How many more soldiers will die in a war that wouldn't have happened if I'd been just a bit more perfect...
Lost in such thoughts as I gazed at the distant horizon, a messenger shouted from behind me.
What the messenger said was.
"Sir Baldt says the schnitzel has arrived, so come to the war council and see for yourself!!"