Chapter 57
Chapter 57
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 057
Chapter Title: The Feelings of Three People
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Kang Ha-neul and Ji Ye-won had fallen for me. To be precise, Ahn Su-ho's judgment was only half right.
Ji Ye-won and Kang Ha-neul. It was true that both harbored feelings of romantic attraction toward Ahn Su-ho—what people commonly call love. Regardless of how intense those feelings were. Even so, the reason his judgment was only half correct was that the two hadn't yet realized their own emotions.
...At least up until the moment he thought that.
"...Senior. My stomach's bothering me a bit. Could you cover table 17 for me?"
"Huh? Oh, sure. But you look really pale. You okay?"
"Yeah. I'm fine. I'll be right back."
After handing off Ahn Su-ho's table to her part-time senior, Ji Ye-won headed straight for the bathroom. She slipped into the farthest stall and let out a deep sigh.
'...Why do I feel like this?'
Ji Ye-won sat on the toilet cover, her face twisted in confusion. She clutched the collar of her shirt tightly, overwhelmed by the unidentified emotion churning in her chest.
The feeling had started the moment she saw Kang Ha-neul standing beside Ahn Su-ho.
It was like someone had gripped her heart in a vise—that stifling sensation grew rapidly the more she took in the sight of the two.
When she saw them chatting so amiably.
When she watched Kang Ha-neul emphasize her connection to Ahn Su-ho, chattering about dates and such.
When that familiar term "oppa" slipped naturally from her lips.
And when she faced Kang Ha-neul, who showed open hostility and acted as if she were Ahn Su-ho's girlfriend.
At every one of those moments, Ji Ye-won felt an inexplicable emotion squeezing her heart tight.
It was irritation. Anger, too. Disappointment, resentment, hurt feelings, bitterness.
But she had no idea that the one emotion encompassing all those tangled feelings was jealousy, born from romantic attraction she hadn't even recognized in herself.
Because she didn't realize it, she felt frustrated.
Frustrated enough to snap excessively at the customers. At Kang Ha-neul.
Unrecognized or not, the emotion didn't just vanish. The hostility toward Kang Ha-neul, rooted in jealousy, permeated every word and action.
She showed blatant dislike. Contradicted her deliberately. Desperately tried to show she was closer to Ahn Su-ho than Kang Ha-neul was.
Childish, petty behavior she'd never stoop to normally.
But she had no clue why she was acting that way.
She hadn't known.
'Feels just like staring at some clingy girlfriend.'
Until Ahn Su-ho tossed out that joke.
The moment she heard it, her cheeks burned. She didn't need a mirror to know her face had flushed bright red.
Embarrassment? Yes, embarrassment. But that wasn't all. Amid the burning shame crept a subtle joy, a sense of relief, anticipation, happiness—those warm, tender feelings felt so foreign that she fled the scene and barricaded herself in the bathroom.
With her hands pressed to her feverish cheeks, she muttered to herself, her eyes clouded with confusion.
"No way... Do I... like him...?"
Am I actually in love with Ahn Su-ho?
The question flooded her mind, and she shook her head immediately.
She did harbor goodwill toward him, but it was purely human-to-human kindness. Gratitude toward the man who had saved her life.
The day she'd moved in next door. The first day she'd met him as Ye Ji-won. The day she'd poured out her bottled-up emotions and sobbed in front of him.
She had concluded that her feelings for Ahn Su-ho were just that—human goodwill. Or so she'd thought.
-Thump. Thump. Thump.
So why was the pounding in her chest only growing faster?
The faint romantic spark she'd never acknowledged until now exploded in size the instant she did.
It wasn't unreasonable. Goodwill was goodwill, no matter the shade. A small romantic trigger was all it took for the accumulated fondness to gradually transform into love.
She hadn't noticed how much that affection had grown, but clashing with Kang Ha-neul and facing Ahn Su-ho made it crystal clear.
'No. That can't be right. It shouldn't be.'
She realized it now, but Ji Ye-won desperately suppressed the rising romantic feelings. She shoved them down, pleading for them not to surface.
'Romance? In my situation right now?'
Ji Ye-won gazed at her ash-gray dyed hair.
She glanced at the name tag pinned to her chest: Ye Ji-won.
She recalled the microchip Min Chae-ryeong had implanted somewhere in her neck to prevent escape.
...And she thought of her friend, Kim Min-ah, whose survival was still unknown.
-Grip.
Clutching her collar tightly, she bit her lip with a pained expression.
She'd been released from the safehouse on the condition of becoming Min Chae-ryeong's long-term pawn. It wasn't about her own freedom. Her only goal was rescuing her friend Kim Min-ah from the Dawn Corps.
This disguised life she was leading was all for that purpose. Aside from her minimal work hours to earn living expenses, she spent nearly every day searching for Kim Min-ah.
So how could romance fit into a life like that? Her most precious friend might be suffering at the organization's hands right this moment—how could she selfishly cradle love in her heart while that happened?
That's why Ji Ye-won forced down the budding affection trying to rise. She denied it desperately.
This feeling was a delusion. Nothing but confusion between gratitude and love.
She didn't like Ahn Su-ho.
They'd only known each other for barely a month—falling in love in such a short time? Ridiculous. It was all illusion, misunderstanding, falsehood.
She repeated it to herself over and over.
-Thump. Thump. Thump.
But the heart racing without respite, now fully awakened to the emotion, showed no signs of calming.
"Haa..."
Her sigh, laced with resignation, echoed softly through the bathroom.
Meanwhile, at that very moment, Kang Ha-neul sat across from Ahn Su-ho, poking at her food amid an awkward silence.
She glanced up at him shyly.
An utterly ordinary face, like any guy you'd pass on the street. Height scraping just over 180 cm, shoulders broad enough but nothing special. Not unattractive, but not handsome enough to turn heads—plain, if you had to call it that.
And yet, looking at him made a smile tug at her lips naturally. Guess that means I really do like this guy, after all.
The thought crossed her mind, and Kang Ha-neul broke into a wide grin.
Unlike Ji Ye-won, Kang Ha-neul accepted her romantic feelings for Ahn Su-ho without resistance. When he'd joked, "Are you my girlfriend?", the warm flutter in her chest made her realize the affection she held for him. Sure, she'd grumbled out loud, but deep down, it hadn't felt bad at all. Quite the opposite—it felt good. She even imagined herself as his girlfriend and giggled at the vague happiness bubbling up from the fantasy.
She wanted to get close to Ahn Su-ho. Spend time near him.
Lately, vague thoughts like that had been surfacing. She'd assumed it was just a desire for friendship. So she'd pushed past her shyness and approached him warmly. She never dreamed that urge stemmed from romance, but now she knew for sure. And that was enough.
It had only been two weeks since they'd met. But did time matter when it came to falling for someone? Even a stranger met today could capture your heart.
In this regard, Kang Ha-neul was refreshingly honest with her emotions. She didn't deny them like Ji Ye-won had. If anything, she welcomed the realization. The inexplicable pull toward Ahn Su-ho, the desire to befriend him—it all made sense now as romantic attraction. With that understanding, the subtle stuffiness in her chest seemed to wash away.
'Yeah. There's nothing weird about me falling for Su-ho oppa.'
Kang Ha-neul looked at Ahn Su-ho again. She'd called his looks plain moments ago, but now he struck her as pretty handsome. Had love tinted her glasses already? Whatever. The reason she'd fallen for the man before her wasn't his appearance anyway.
This man—Ahn Su-ho—had saved her life.
If it were just duty as a guard, she could've brushed it off.
But his continued concern for her safety afterward.
Warning her not to trust the Security Force, since it might endanger them too.
Caring for her struggles adapting to the academy without making a show of it.
And above all, that desperate charge against the enemy on the day he saved her—not even death could stop him.
As a woman, wasn't that more than enough to fall for?
With that thought, Kang Ha-neul's face lit up with a smile. The food before her was forgotten. Wrapped in this strange satisfaction, this happiness, she felt as cozy as lying on sun-warmed grass.
"...What's got you smiling like that?"
"Nothing. Just like watching you eat well."
Ahn Su-ho averted his gaze awkwardly at her response. His eyes drifted to the counter where staff bustled back and forth.
Kang Ha-neul knew exactly who he was looking for.
"Worried about that girl from earlier?"
"Huh? Yeah... kinda."
"Because of me? Sorry. I was pretty rude to that Ye Ji-won woman."
Ahn Su-ho mumbled awkwardly, at a loss for words. Watching him, Kang Ha-neul asked softly.
"Oppa. You two aren't really anything, right?"
"I've told you a bunch of times—we're just neighbors."
"You seem way too close for just neighbors. Eating together, shopping together, even going into the bathroom together?"
"That's..."
Ahn Su-ho furrowed his brow, clearly struggling to explain. Kang Ha-neul stared at him intently, as if urging him on.
"Stuff just happened. It's not whatever you're imagining, so don't get the wrong idea."
"What am I imagining?"
"That Ye Ji-won's my girlfriend or that we've slept together. None of that."
It was a more straightforward denial than expected, but Kang Ha-neul still looked unsatisfied.
She had her intuitions too. She could tell at a glance that Ahn Su-ho and Ji Ye-won weren't just casual acquaintances. What kind of "neighbors" shared a bathroom if they weren't girlfriends or friends with benefits?
Kang Ha-neul wished he'd explain the details. But her instincts told her he wouldn't.
No matter how much she pried, he'd never answer. It might even earn his resentment for being so clingy.
Resting her chin on her hand, Kang Ha-neul let out a small sigh. Her mind was a mess, but she forced herself to simplify. Not girlfriend, not anything. If that was true, fine. For now, at least.
"...Um, oppa. That joke you made earlier."
Kang Ha-neul fidgeted with her lips as she called to him. A faint blush colored her cheeks.
"Joke?"
"The clingy girlfriend bit."
Ahn Su-ho's expression stiffened. He had no idea yet how to handle Kang Ha-neul's feelings.
"I was just kidding around. No need to take it seriously—"
"Honestly? That joke didn't feel bad at all."
"What?"
"If anything, I think... I was a little happy. Just a tiny bit."
As if she couldn't care less about his hesitation, Kang Ha-neul took a subtle step forward.
"Just putting it out there."
A small step.
A metaphorical one.
Not an outright declaration, but enough for Ahn Su-ho to grasp the meaning.
Having taken that step, Kang Ha-neul shyly turned her head away. But her gaze stayed firmly on him.
"...Yeah?"
Ahn Su-ho responded to her implied message with an awkward smile—one too vague to read as yes or no.
It might seem indecisive at first glance, but in truth, it was consideration for Kang Ha-neul. A careless word or gesture from him could wound her.
'If I act here like I like Kang Ha-neul too...'
If she harbored romantic feelings for him, and that statement was born from them, and he reciprocated...
Their bond would deepen. Exactly what he'd hoped for, given his desire for a close relationship with her.
But Ahn Su-ho couldn't act rashly. He didn't want to.
The old him would have seized the chance without hesitation, fabricating affection to win her over. He'd have exploited her feelings shamelessly for his gain.
The same went for Ji Ye-won, not just Kang Ha-neul. If both felt even a hint of romance toward him, great. He'd use it freely for the future, for whatever plot twists lay ahead.
The freshly-possessed him, even the him from not long ago, would have thought and acted that way without a second thought.
Because they were just characters in a novel. That's what he'd believed.
But now?
Every encounter with them—laughing, crying, rejoicing, grieving, delighting, brooding, raging, sulking, apologizing, blushing, expressing gratitude like living, breathing people.
The conviction he'd held since possessing this body—that this world was merely a novel—had begun to waver profoundly.
Rationally, logically, leveraging their feelings was the sound choice.
But when he leaned toward that rational path, a sharp pang twisted in his chest. What they called a guilty conscience.
'No matter how novel-based it is, if this is a real world, aren't they real people too? It's wrong to exploit their emotions without giving honest reciprocation.'
Unlike Kang Ha-neul or Ji Ye-won, Ahn Su-ho felt no romantic affection for either yet. His heart had no room for such softness. Leading them on while that was true felt wrong.
...He thought that, yet at the same time, another voice whispered.
'It's still a novel world, novel characters. My top priority is getting back to my original world. For that goal, I have to use whatever I can.'
The sudden situation left Ahn Su-ho's mind in turmoil. Two opposing views clashed wildly in his head.
The version of him chasing pure logic for return, and the ordinary human side upholding conscience and morals. Those two values wrestled endlessly.
That's why Ahn Su-ho could only muster that ambiguous reaction here.
That hazy smile, that neither-yes-nor-no answer—it was for Kang Ha-neul's sake, but also for his own.
"... "
Kang Ha-neul, unaware of his inner conflict, could at least sense he was deeply pondering how to respond.
"Ehehe. Why the serious face? I was just joking around."
She said it deliberately to lighten the mood.
If she didn't, once he finished agonizing, he'd probably reject her not-confession outright.
Fearful of even that slim chance, she backpedaled like fleeing.
"...Oh? Had me worried there."
Ahn Su-ho latched onto her escape too. Awkward laughter passed between them.
After that, they chatted normally, finished eating, and left the restaurant. Ji Ye-won never reappeared before them. Even after they parted ways and Ahn Su-ho returned home, despite her promise to show up, Ji Ye-won never appeared.
The day's tangled emotions among the three faded into ambiguity. Each—Kang Ha-neul, Ji Ye-won, and Ahn Su-ho—needed time to sort their thoughts.
The weekend passed, and Monday finally arrived.
The morning of the Class 1's dungeon exploration practical dawned.