The Bakery Girl (7)
"You said the two of you weren't anything to each other…"
Paul stared at me with a flustered look on his face.
I wanted nothing more than to shut my eyes. There was nowhere to put my burning-red face.
Paul spun on his heel and bolted out of the training room.
"Wait! Hold on, Paul!"
But he left without so much as acknowledging me. Only Crane and I remained in the silent training hall, crushed beneath the weight of the atmosphere.
"Ugh… what am I supposed to do now?"
I swallowed the curses that kept trying to claw their way out.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
Crane finally spoke, his face full of apology.
"What are we going to do? If Paul starts spreading rumors, my life at the academy is finished!"
My voice was thick with hatred and rage. I clenched my fists until my knuckles went white.
"I ought to just…"
I ground my teeth, aching to put one solid hit into Crane's fat body. But I held back.
When I thought about it, I had never wanted to be close with Paul in the first place. And if I was being honest, I barely interacted with the other students as it was — so even if rumors did get out, nothing much would change.
Realizing I had gotten angrier than the situation warranted, I felt a little bad for Crane.
"We're done for today. I'm not in the mood anymore."
I said it and held out a hand to Crane, who was still sprawled on the floor. He looked up at my outstretched hand with eyes full of relief, as if my sudden change of attitude had finally let him breathe again.
Having finished the day's mayonnaise delivery, I was about to leave the bakery.
"Miss Blair?"
"Yes?"
The shopkeeper called me back and held something out.
"This is a sandwich I made this morning. Please give it to Anton. That boy always eats so poorly — I worry about him."
He smiled faintly as he handed me a basket with the sandwich inside.
"Ah… yes, of course."
Come to think of it, after everything Professor Anton had done for me, I should have been the one looking after him. That was my failure. But when I really thought about it, there wasn't much I could offer him. He was already famous as the kingdom's greatest swordsman. What help could the adopted daughter of some minor noble house possibly give a man like that?
I could bring him meals every day, of course — but I was afraid of the strange rumors that might spring up and damage his reputation.
I followed the road toward the academy and before long arrived at Professor Anton's office. It was still so early that neither students nor staff were anywhere in sight. There was probably no one inside either.
The shopkeeper left a note saying he sent it, so I'll just set it down somewhere discreet and slip away before anyone notices.
I reached for the doorknob. For some reason, a chill ran straight down my spine.
—Click.
The sound of the door opening rang through the silent corridor. To my surprise, Professor Anton's back came into view — he was sitting at his work desk inside the room.
"Professor…?"
He couldn't speak. He only trembled, glancing at me sideways again and again. His face looked as if he were staring into a nightmare.
"Miss Blair? This is… this is… I just had something I needed to check for a moment…"
A magic crystal sat on the desk. The image flowing from it was familiar — a small girl pinned beneath a muscular man, being thoroughly and messily violated. Tears were gathering at the corners of the girl's eyes in the recording.
My gaze drifted to the professor's lower half. His pants were half-pulled down, his posture awkward and crouched. A thought flashed through my mind.
Wasn't this the most ridiculous situation of anything that had happened recently? Should I get angry? Cry? Laugh? I simply froze in place.
Right. The professor was a man after all. Men always struggle with managing their sexual desires. I knew that well enough myself…
But this — the professor using me as material to masturbate to. No one would welcome that. Least of all when the person doing it was a hero you had always admired.
Without a word, I walked to the desk and touched the magic crystal, stopping the playback.
"You don't have a girlfriend, do you, Professor?"
There was no need to dance around it. He had always been an honest and righteous man, and speaking directly was better.
"That's true…"
The professor answered while looking away, like a child caught doing something bad by his mother.
"I think it's natural for an unmarried man without a girlfriend to do… that sort of thing, so please don't feel ashamed. But this…"
I didn't want to start cursing him out of nowhere. I knew full well that he was a genuinely good person. I also knew that even in situations where he could have taken my body freely, he had protected me instead.
"Professor. You don't need the magic crystal anymore, right? May I take it?"
Even through his embarrassment, Professor Anton nodded.
I fell silent for a moment. A sharp sting pricked at the tip of my nose. The truth was, I was hurt. That the teacher I had admired and respected would do something so shameful. I knew I ought to understand, given how much I owed him…
No — I didn't like that I couldn't understand, that I was being this petty. I should have been able to say it was fine, as if nothing had happened. Tears were slowly welling up along my lashes. I wiped my blurred vision with my sleeve.
"This is a sandwich the bakery shopkeeper asked me to give you, so please eat it. I'll be going now."
Unable to bear it any longer, I stood. Then he urgently caught my wrist.
"Wait, Miss Blair. I'm sorry for behaving like this…"
"But I never intended to do anything to you. It's just… just…"
He couldn't go on. His clothes were disheveled, his eyes frantic. Intense emotion rose across his usually composed face. His gaze fixed on me as I watched him in silence, offering no reply.
"You just needed a dirty video?"
"No. It isn't simply that. My feelings for you aren't like that…"
The professor's expression looked as if the sky itself were collapsing.
"I swear to the heavens — it is not some shallow feeling."
At those words, I let out a long breath. Only now did my instincts finally catch what was in his heart. And I was confused. It was Professor Anton's heart — no one else's. Suddenly my chest felt tight. How was I supposed to answer feelings like these?
"That doesn't mean I expect anything from you right away. Please just forget what happened today."
Like severing a tail, Professor Anton's words came out in broken pieces. Suddenly I felt a pang of disappointment. Just forget it, as if nothing had happened — after he had used a recording of me being violated as jack-off material. An inexplicable unpleasantness washed over me, souring my mood.
My mood soured?
Did that mean it had been good before?
"This can't be…"
I muttered the words faintly and snapped back to myself with a start. I looked at Professor Anton with bewildered eyes. He wore the same expression of incomprehension at the change in my face.
"Professor."
"Yes?"
"You're not married and you don't have a girlfriend… why aren't there any women around you?"
I asked, feigning composure while holding back emotions that felt ready to drop me where I stood. Perhaps thinking the question had come out of nowhere, he looked flustered and fell into thought for a moment.
"Well… maybe because I haven't met a woman I like yet? Of course, there have been plenty of women who approached me for one reason or another…"
"So there aren't any now, and there won't be any in the future either?"
"Probably…"
He seemed at a loss for words.
"Then shall I help you?"
"Wh-what?"
A questioning exclamation burst from his lips.
"If you don't want it, just say so."
The corners of my smiling mouth trembled slightly.
"No… that… what do you mean by that?"
He asked back, thoroughly flustered.
I had already promised Crane a footjob once a week for helping stir the eggs. Professor Anton was a benefactor who couldn't even be compared to that. I thought I could even allow him the use of my hands.
"You're my benefactor, Professor. Seeing you do this alone makes me feel sorry for you…"
"Hmm… but I've never thought of my students that way before…"
As he said it, his gaze drifted to the magic crystal I was holding.
"…"
He hung his head again, looking extremely embarrassed. He had claimed he had never thought that way — but it seemed he had just remembered, once more, that I had seen the crystal.
"I suppose I have no excuse."
Only then did Professor Anton quiet down and begin listening to what I had to say.
"I'll take care of it for you with my hand once a week."
"Is that really all right?"
Anton asked, his gaze half suspicion and half expectation. I quickly started turning things over in my mind.
"It's a relationship without feelings. I simply want to repay your kindness."
With men like this, saying there are no feelings involved removes the burden.
"If that's how you think of it… then I'll take you up on that."
The professor's face as he poured out his true feelings looked a little lonely. My own heart wasn't entirely at ease either — it was complicated. But if the benefactor I had always admired could lean on me just a little, wouldn't that be a good thing?