The Winter of Limbus Pit (6)
The Chief Butler, having just left Julian’s room, stepped out of the mansion immediately. “…It’s still snowing.” As it was the peak of the heavy snow season, the world outside the estate had turned entirely white.
The butler pondered for a moment. Since the young master had arrived at this estate, how many times had he witnessed such a world? ‘There was a time when he would gaze at this snow-white world with sparkling, curious eyes.’
Children are naturally creatures who feel a sense of wonder at the sight of snow. Even for Julian, who had lost his parents early and never learned how to mingle with his peers, the sight of snow used to bring a faint, genuine smile to his face. But at some point, Julian began to view this snow-white world in a different light. The faint upturn of his lips, once anticipating a snowball fight, had been replaced by an artificial smile.
‘It was as if he wasn’t looking at the snow, but at the contaminated mana held within it.’
Perhaps it was because he had matured too early. Unlike others his age, he had begun to look at the inside rather than the surface. Yet, even so, he never erased that faint smile while looking at the white world. It was as if he were acting for the adults, pretending he still harbored a sense of childhood innocence. Today was no different.
“….”
While lost in thought, the Chief Butler had arrived in front of the annex. He stopped his musings and brushed the snow from his shoulders. After checking that even the snow on his shoes was gone, the old butler stepped into the annex. He stood at the entrance for a while, letting the warm air thaw his body a little before heading toward the parlor.
Knock, knock.
As the parlor door opened, a man sitting on the sofa came into view. He was a man who sat with his back stiffly upright, as if he were uncomfortable in this space. As soon as the old butler entered, he rose from the sofa as if propelled by a spring. Wilhelm offered the man a handshake.
“I apologize for keeping you waiting, Shen.”
“It is quite alright, sir.”
The scar-covered man accepted the handshake with a deferential attitude. The man’s name was Shen. To the public, he was known as the Department Head of the Ironclad Special Forces.
“You carried out the mission brilliantly.”
Wilhelm sat on the opposite sofa, habitually tapping his knee with a benevolent smile. Despite the friendly demeanor, Department Head Shen did not relax his tension. He remained seated with his back straight, carefully gauging the old man’s mood. In the uncomfortable atmosphere, the old butler prepared two teacups and placed them in front of himself and Shen, respectively.
“I’m not familiar with the tea ceremonies of you beastmen. I intend to do it in the way I know; would that be acceptable?”
“I am grateful enough that you are serving me tea, sir.”
Wilhelm poured the tea without waiting for Shen’s reply. Each cup was filled with steaming hot water. Only after steeping the tea bags in each cup did the butler speak again.
“…Come to think of it, when was it that we first met?”
“It was this time last year, sir.”
“Yes, only a year has passed. I don’t think… enough time has flowed for me to trust you yet, has it?”
Shen’s shoulders stiffened. His head gave a rigid nod.
“Do you remember? Last year, the young master saved you and your tribesmen from that vulgar circus. And he invited you to a meal as their representative.”
“…I am truly grateful for the young master’s grace, which is as vast as the sea.”
“And yet, do you remember how you repaid the young master’s kindness?”
Shen squeezed his eyes shut. His memory regressed to that day, a day so cold it chilled the bone, when the whole world had turned white.
The life of Shen and his tribe was closer to that of objects than humans. In the slave market of Limbus Pit’s H-Sector, they were displayed like livestock behind iron bars, sold like goods, and returned like defective merchandise when the buyers grew tired of them. Their lives were a repetition of that cycle.
Their role once they were taken up was to become dolls. They became test subjects for newly learned magic, or practice dummies for swordsmanship. If not that, they were playthings for stress relief. When the nobles grew tired of them, they were cast back into Limbus Pit. It was because the legal procedure for killing a slave was too much of a hassle. In that process, his father, the tribal chief, could not endure such a life and closed his eyes. And the day after Shen, who had just inherited the position, became the new chief, Shen’s tribe was ‘returned’ to Limbus Pit as always.
“Mom, where are we going?”
In the middle of the line descending into Limbus Pit, one of the tribal children asked. A long line stretched under the bridge, in the dark shadows. Around the necks of those standing in line hung tags, like labels indicating the quality of livestock. , , … Shen’s tribe was part of that line. With tags around their necks, they were silently walking downward.
“M-mom, I asked where we’re going again? Weren’t we supposed to live there?” the child asked its mother. It was a child who had been a dress-up doll for a young lady while the adults spent their time in horror. The child seemed unable to accept the situation of descending once more.
“Mom!”
The adults could not answer the child’s cry. At the time, the adults were exhausted from the death of their leader, who had been their center of gravity. Perhaps finding the adults’ state pitiful, the child suddenly stepped out of line. The exhausted adults didn’t even notice the child had disappeared.
— Knock, knock.
And then, the child knocked on the door of a black vehicle that was descending to Limbus Pit alongside the line. By the time Shen noticed, the child had already knocked on the car door.
— We’re doomed.
That thought dominated the minds of Shen and his tribesmen. Cars were symbols of the nobility. Not knowing that, the child had knocked on the door of a car.
“No!”
The child’s mother screamed belatedly. If it were any of the nobles they had encountered so far, it wouldn’t have been strange for the window to roll down and a muzzle to be aimed at the child’s forehead. Shen and his tribesmen squeezed their eyes shut, unable to bear watching the scene that was about to unfold. However, the scene that followed was different from what Shen and his tribesmen had imagined.
The car did not react at all to the child’s knock. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” And leaving behind the soldiers who were bowing repeatedly, the car descended further into Limbus Pit as if nothing had happened. That was the end of it. The child returned to the line without a single scratch, with a metal tag added to its neck.
“Why on earth did you do such a thing!”
“But… I made eye contact with the child inside the car!”
The mother scolded the child while pulling it roughly into her arms. The adults of the tribe also scolded the child, telling it never to do that again. Even then, they had no idea that this would become a bond.
And that evening, a small-statured healer visited Shen and his tribe, who were being sorted in the H-Sector exhibition hall. The healer, wearing a crow mask, introduced himself as Director Schnabel of the Merkur Merchant Group and said:
“I wanted to give alms to the child, but I was busy on my way to work, so I couldn’t. So, is the child here?”
Beside the Director, who was tipping his hat in greeting, a young man who appeared to be a bodyguard was sighing.
*
“I don’t know what will happen if I get scolded by the Master for picking up things like these.”
“Don’t worry, Otto. This isn’t the first time. There have been many times before this, Otto.”
“Why on earth would you….”
“Well. Even pig dung can be used as medicine, so wouldn’t there be a place to use them somewhere?”
The Director, who had purchased the entire tribe, sent them up to Civitas Square. Transforming a warehouse owned by the merchant group into lodging, the Director provided the tribesmen with meals and simple medical treatment.
“Hmm. Even for me, money is tight, so I can’t remove the scars, but instead, I will try to pull the skin together as much as possible.”
Director Schnabel created miracles with nothing but a needle and thread. Having bestowed miracles comparable to low-grade healing on all the tribesmen, the Director then provided them with warm meals and bedding. And he invited Shen, the representative of the tribe, to a high-class restaurant.
“I hope it suits your palate. Ah, you don’t need to worry about etiquette. We will be the only ones here this evening.”
Director Schnabel, who had brought the head of the merchant group along like an attendant, chatted with Shen while slicing his meat as if it were nothing. To Shen, it all felt like a lie. No, he was certain it was a lie. ‘What kind of scheme is it this time, noble?’
In his childhood, after being betrayed for taking the word ‘friend of a noble’ at face value, Shen had stopped believing in the goodwill of nobles. It was because he realized then that to nobles, a friend was no different from an attachment to a toy doll. ‘I must run away beforehand.’
So, on the night the first dinner ended, Shen stole a few silver coins from Julian’s wallet while he was performing night rounds and fled. Along with a twisted sense of duty that he had to at least help his family escape from those evil hands. And the next morning, before he could even discuss fleeing, he was caught and forced to his knees before the Director.
— “Young Master. What will you do with this one?”
It was the Chief Butler who had caught Shen at the time. As if he had expected it, the butler had already bribed Shen’s close associates. Shen bowed his head at the old man’s cold voice coming from above. Wasn’t it something he had expected anyway? Now he would reveal his true colors. He would take off his kind mask and show the sadistic nature he had hidden underneath.
However, the crow-masked Director remained silent for a long time, then said:
“Why did you take the silver coins? I would have given you gold coins if you were leaving.”
Shen lifted his head. The eyes visible beyond the mask held not anger or contempt, but bewilderment. “It seems there was a misunderstanding. I will ask you again, taking this opportunity. Gold coins, a rope, and a dagger. Which will you choose?”
At that moment, Shen’s mind went blank.
“…I have never forgotten that day for even a single moment.”
Shen replied in a hoarse voice. He placed an empty scabbard on the table. That day, Shen’s tribe had earned the right to choose one of three items. To choose the rope and receive training to seize an opportunity. To choose the gold coins and leave the nest to start anew in a new land. To choose the dagger and swear loyalty, promised revenge. The Ironclad Special Forces were composed of those who had chosen the third option. Shen was one of them.
“If it were possible, I would only wish to turn back time.”
“Yes. It is fortunate that you at least have a sense of shame.”
Wilhelm’s eyes narrowed. Along with it, the air in the room instantly turned chilly. “To be honest, I still do not trust you.”
“….”
“My background is what it is. I have seen far too much of how ugly humans can be. I am of the opinion that people cannot be fixed.”
“….”
“And I still have not forgotten that you betrayed the young master’s goodwill. Do you know how much the young master was hurt because of you?”
“He must have been deeply heartbroken….”
Tsk. Wilhelm clicked his tongue, as if cutting off Shen’s words. “Since then, the young master has not said ‘thank you’ to anyone outside this mansion. Are you trying to gloss over that with a mere word like ‘heartbroken’?”
“….”
“Even after you returned from completing your mission, he did not ask me to convey his thanks first until I spoke up.”
Wilhelm crossed his legs and gazed into his teacup. Yes. He remembered. The reason Julian stopped smiling sincerely even when looking at snow was because of things like this. Shen was not the first to betray Julian’s goodwill. The countless adults to whom he had reached out first had always betrayed Julian’s goodwill. The servants of this mansion, the other executives of the Merkur Merchant Group, the patients who had been treated in Limbus Pit. The dirty adults had betrayed the child’s pure goodwill beautifully. Whenever that happened, Julian would always react like this:
— “They are people with many wounds. I must understand them.”
But Julian, who said such things, was inevitably becoming wounded himself. The child who had matured too early was too skilled at hiding his own wounds, which took the old butler time to notice. And by the time he noticed, Julian was attaching logic to all the goodwill directed toward him and all the goodwill he sent out.
— “This… yes. I just did it out of courtesy.”
— “You don’t need to be grateful. It’s only natural.”
Since then, Julian never expressed sincere gratitude. And only the butler, who had cared for Julian since he was one year old, could discern that fact. The only fortunate thing was that his condition had improved slightly starting two years ago. After being accepted by the family of the Nihilit household, he had begun to stop making excuses for his goodwill, at least within this mansion. But Shen had gone and driven a nail into Julian’s condition, which had been gradually improving.
Grind. Remembering that fact, the old butler forgot even his dignity and ground his teeth. The old butler lifted his teacup. He shook the cup once under his nose to calm his surging agitation before continuing.
“He was a person with many wounds. I thought they were finally healing… but you went and dug them open. I do not think that can be expressed as mere heartbreak.”
“I believe I have committed a mortal sin. I am prepared to… atone for the rest of my life.”
How many times had this conversation taken place? But Shen could not harbor any complaints. A wound from a sword ends in a scar, but a wound from having a hand bitten off rots and festers from the inside. Now that he knew Julian’s goodwill was never hypocrisy or deception, he could not complain about the butler hating him this much. Because Shen, too, was suffering from terrible self-loathing every single day.
“I repeat, I do not trust you. Betrayal is only difficult the first time.”
“….”
“So, even if I hear you say you will atone for the rest of your life, I find it hardly credible. Can you not give me a more concrete goal? It would be easier for me if you just told me when you were leaving.”
At the butler’s sharp question, Shen hesitated for a moment. Soon, he spoke again.
“I will atone until I can receive a word of thanks from him.”
The butler’s shoulders trembled. It meant that Shen also knew what state Julian was in.
“…You had better.”
Sip. Wilhelm sipped his tea and closed his eyes tightly. When the old butler opened his eyes again, that sharp gaze was once again filled with benevolence.
“Yes. Now, let us discuss the compensation for your hard work.”
The old butler recited the rewards Julian had prepared for the man sitting across from him. But as those rewards were enumerated one by one, the hearts of the two adults left in the room grew only heavier.
*
Once upon a time, there was a flower garden full of white lilies. One day, a few red roses grew in that flower garden. A young lily approached those roses and asked:
— “Hello, isn’t the sunlight nice today?”
But the rose, instead of answering, pricked the lily with its thorns. The wounded lily asked another rose:
— “Ouch. Why did that flower prick me?”
But that rose, too, pricked the lily without any explanation.
— “It hurts…. Why did the flowers prick me….”
The lily asked another wounded rose. And that rose, too, pricked the lily.
A long time passed, and from afar, a new lily visited the flower garden.
— “Wow, what a beautiful flower garden! I want to be friends with you all!”
At that moment, the wounded lily, terrified, screamed:
— “Don’t come closer! You’re trying to harm me, aren’t you? You’re trying to tear me apart!”
The wounded lily slashed the approaching flower mercilessly. And when it came to its senses, the lily realized. The petals of the red flower that had been approaching it were white. That what had actually been stained red was its own gaze. And that the thorns that had been hurting it had, at some point, densely taken root in its own body.
— “Ah… ah….”
The lily that had pricked its new friend screamed.
— “I should apologize right now….”
But the wounded lily, seeing its own arms covered in thorns, soon changed its mind.
— “No. Anyway, I… was a flower like this from the start.”
And instead of an apology, it chose rationalization.
A few months later.
— “What a beautiful rose garden.”
The flower garden that had once been pure white had become a garden of red roses.