Chapter 46
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 46
Chapter Title: I Thought It Was Just Admiration
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"I thought it was just admiration. I thought she was just an idol I wanted to be like."
"The whole world's in an uproar."
"……."
"Asrania's dead. No one can believe it."
It was a story that would be on the lips of gossips for the next ten years.
It might even be remembered far longer.
Because no body was ever found. There were even conspiracy theories floating around that she hadn't actually died.
The Commander kept his mouth firmly shut, maintaining his silence.
Beatrice closed the file containing Asrania's records and shook her head with a bitter expression.
"That's why I'm asking. How are you holding up, Commander?"
The Commander rubbed his dry face and forced his mouth open.
"……I don't really know."
A hollow emptiness that left his insides feeling scraped out. At the same time, an oppressive pressure that made it hard to breathe.
"It feels like one side of my chest has been carved out, cold and raw, while my gut is clogged up like I've got indigestion. I don't even know how to describe this feeling."
"I get it. It's your first time sending someone off like this."
As the Commander's eyes wavered, Beatrice pretended not to notice.
"You think I'm any different? I've been through countless farewells, but……."
Beatrice stared out the foggy window.
"This one... tolerance just doesn't build up for it."
"……."
"It's a good thing it never gets familiar. If you stop feeling even the sorrow, that's when you've truly become a monster."
A strange silence flowed between them.
Beatrice changed the mood.
"By the way, I hear the Exim bunch has gone right back to normal."
The Commander looked puzzled and asked,
"Back to normal?"
"According to Marlboro, it seems like some kind of camaraderie had started forming among them lately. Due to someone's influence, apparently. He was even thinking of testing the waters and cooperating with the change."
Beatrice's eyes grew icy.
"The moment she died, they snapped right back to their old selves, like they were putting on a show."
"……."
"That's how they see it, I suppose. That people changing doesn't always flow toward the good."
The invincible Asrania.
She'd had a child, started living like a human... and then she was murdered.
Change doesn't always lead to a happy ending.
"This change is the worst omen we could hope for."
Beatrice didn't explain exactly what had changed.
The Commander understood instantly.
Asrania.
It had to be.
Because the Asrania of the past and the Asrania he'd met were completely different people.
"Brace yourself. The one being who held the leashes on those monsters is gone."
"You mean……."
"The inhibitor is gone. There's no one left in this world who can control Exim."
Beatrice added the warning gravely.
"No one can predict where those off-the-leash hounds will bite next."
In the noisy corner of a rowdy tavern, mercenaries clinked glasses and cackled.
"Hey, you hear the rumor?"
"What rumor?"
"Word is, Exim's Number Four got taken out."
"For real? How the hell does a monster like that go down?"
The man lowered his voice to a conspiratorial whisper.
"Not sure on the details, but they say she got fucked like a dog before she croaked."
"Fucked? You mean she got raped or something?"
"Could be. Word is she got used as a toy and went out pathetically."
"Kuhaha! Man, someone actually managed to kill that bitch."
One mercenary wiped the booze from his chin.
"You never know what the world's gonna throw at you. Even Exim's Number Four ends up as a pile of meat."
"Yeah. Kinda disappointing, though. They say Number Four was a real looker."
The guy across from him grinned lecherously and chimed in.
"Not just pretty—supposed to be a drop-dead beauty. Damn, the guys who raped her must've saved a country in their past life. Fucking jealous, shit."
"Hey, hey. Didn't that woman have a daughter?"
"Daughter? Yeah, if the mom's that hot, the kid's gotta be prime too. Bet the daughter got it right alongside her."
"Mother-daughter platter, huh? Kyaa, gets me hard just thinking about it!"
The tavern erupted in roaring laughter that shook the rafters. Crude curses and dirty talk were their appetizers.
"Puhahaha!"
"Ah, I wanted to rape that bitch too. What a waste. I would've lined up just to get a piece."
The mercenaries pounded the tables, doubled over in drunken glee just from the fantasy.
That was when it happened.
Thud. Thud.
A chilling footfall stopped right behind their backs.
The mercenaries instinctively whipped their heads around.
The tavern reeked of stale booze and sweat.
In the midst of the filthy scene stood a being that could never blend in—an otherworldly presence.
Jangling ornate jewelry, flowing garments. A mysterious beauty who looked like she'd just stepped off a stage.
It was Naviera.
"……Wow."
One mercenary let out an awestruck sigh.
Naviera swallowed her boiling rage.
It was infuriating, enough to bring tears to her eyes. How dare these scum talk about Lady Asrania like that.
The booze-soaked, lust-addled mercenaries couldn't sense the killing intent.
"What's this? A pretty little dancer lost in here?"
"You lost, sweetheart? Or……."
One mercenary staggered to his feet.
"Bored and looking to play with some big brothers? Walking right into our laps."
"That face is right up my alley. Come here, I'll treat you nice."
Naviera slowly raised her hand, suppressing emotions on the verge of explosion.
"……Huh?"
When the blue lightning lit up the room, the mercenaries' faces shifted from lust to horror.
"T-That's……!"
Color drained from their faces.
A railgun, built for killing people.
Blue electricity sparked viciously.
"Wh……?"
"W-What the hell is this?"
By the time they grasped the situation, it was too late.
"Fuck. We're dead."
Flash.
A blue blaze swallowed their vision.
Half the tavern vanished without a trace.
Leaving the chaos behind, Naviera ran blindly.
She stopped only when her breath reached her throat, at a deserted lakeside.
"Haa, haa……."
Naviera collapsed to her knees, hugging them close.
Her face reflected on the mirror-still lake surface.
Eyes bloodshot with rage.
None of Naviera's usual nobility remained.
"Sob... Lady Asrania……."
Then, the sound of grass rustling behind her.
Naviera's shoulders flinched. Thinking it was a pursuer, as she started to turn— a familiar voice pierced her ear.
"Didn't you make this a bit too big a deal?"
It was Blackjack.
Blackjack emerged from the darkness, muttering pityingly. A headache seemed to be coming on.
"Haa……."
Accompanied by a deep sigh.
Blackjack scanned Naviera's disheveled state, then spoke in a troubled tone.
"You've given up on hiding your identity altogether now?"
"……."
"Were you planning to abandon your role as Batiuus's saintess entirely?"
Naviera bit her lip and bowed her head.
She had no words.
It was an act born of momentary rage she couldn't hold back.
Blackjack scratched the back of their head vigorously and gazed at the distant pillar of black smoke rising.
"No matter how pissed you are, you gotta think about cleanup. We went through hell setting up a fake saintess as a smokescreen, and you just blow it all up?"
"I didn't ruin anything. No witnesses. Everyone who saw my face is dead."
"That's exactly why you didn't need to take the risk."
"……A woman who's nothing without her sword is awfully chatty today."
"Who the hell's not in their right mind? Even I have to keep you grounded."
"Who's not in their right mind?"
Naviera shot back sharply, roughly wiping her eyes.
"I'm fine. Perfectly fine—in the most brutally healthy way possible."
She hugged her knees tighter and stared at the lake again.
"……You know what I used to be like?"
Naviera let out a chuckle. It was close to a scoff.
"I was such an idiot back then. Being the saintess was my whole world. My destiny. Dressed like a doll, praying on command, smiling on cue……."
Her voice trembled faintly.
"People looked up to me, but I felt like I was suffocating. I wanted to run away. To be free."
Splash.
A pebble she tossed into the lake.
Ripples distorted her reflection.
"That's when I learned about Exim... and Lady Asrania."
Her deadened eyes sparkled for a moment.
"It was a shock. Willful, rough, freer than anyone. She had everything I'd never have in my life."
A life forbidden to Batiuus's saintess.
Naviera's dreamed paradise, an unreachable star.
"I was jealous. Insanely so."
She lifted her head to gaze at the pitch-black night sky.
"That's when it started, I think. Sneaking out of the temple. Rebelling a bit, secretly joining Exim... Next thing I knew, here I was."
Wondering if Asrania had become a star up there.
Tears finally welled in her eyes.
"I thought it was just admiration. I thought she was just an idol I wanted to be like."
With the falling tears, the truth she'd hidden spilled out.
"I realized it too late. That it was my first love."