Chapter 37
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 37
Chapter Title: Starting from the Beginning
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Starting from the beginning.
Sage halted his steps deep within the cave shrouded in thick darkness. Countless tentacles writhed stickily at his feet.
"I hate to even assume this..."
Sage's lips twitched. His brow furrowed in pain, then relaxed, over and over, as if the words were too heavy to utter.
He roughly swept his hand across his face like he was washing it dry and forced out a subdued voice.
"Mother, you've lost your memories."
The tentacles merely squirmed, emitting eerie sounds in lieu of a reply.
"It must have been so hard on your own. So much so that you let go of yourself, bearing those long years all alone."
Sage's gaze settled calmly. This wasn't the time to drown in sorrow.
"Now it's our turn to set things right."
Starting from the beginning.
Esira's first birthday with me.
Nearly another year had passed since then.
In that time, we'd spent days that were ordinary if you called them that—or blissfully happy if you didn't.
Of course, the Abyss hadn't stayed quiet.
It tried to swallow me whole whenever it got the chance.
I didn't care if I fell apart.
What scared me was Esira getting dragged down with me.
I couldn't bring myself to tell her.
I'm her mom, after all.
I could handle it on my own.
Esira stuck to me like glue, and I was getting the hang of being a mom.
Lately, though, my body felt heavy, like a waterlogged sponge.
Nothing hurt specifically. If I had to put it into words, it was like my whole body was slowly sinking into the ocean depths.
"Hoo..."
I sat on the sofa, sighing absentmindedly as I pressed my temples.
Am I getting old?
This is bad. If only there were a potion to make me young again.
"Mom?"
Esira's ears perked up like a rabbit's, and she scampered over.
She plopped right beside me, scanning my face with wide, worried eyes like the world was ending.
"Mom, Mom. Are you hurting? Huh? Are you feeling really bad?"
Esira clutched my clothes with her delicate little hands, fretting. Her face looked ready to burst into tears any second.
'I didn't mean to worry her.'
I stroked her hair.
"No. I'm just a bit tired lately. I'll be fine."
"Liar. Your face looks awful. From now on, no housework for you. I'll do everything."
"Esira, even if you haven't done much, some days you just feel extra tired. Today's one of those days. A quick nap, and it'll be like it never happened, okay?"
Esira didn't drop her suspicious glare.
Words alone weren't enough to reassure her, it seemed.
She fidgeted with her lips for a moment, then curled up and burrowed into my arms, hugging my waist tight.
"Then let Esira heal you."
"Looks like my Esira's the doctor today."
"Yeah! I'll chase away all the bad vibes. Everything bothering Mom, shoo! Go away!"
Esira rubbed her face against my chest, mumbling like she was casting a spell.
Was it because she was so adorable?
The heavy gloom pressing on my chest faded like a lie.
"...Yeah, I think I'm all better thanks to my girl."
I patted her back and smiled brightly. My body, chilled like the deep sea, warmed bit by bit from her heat.
"Not fair! You two are all lovey-dovey without me!"
The door flew open with a bang, and Marigold burst in.
She looked ready to wedge herself between us right then and there.
"Quiet down, Marigold sis."
Esira snapped back with uncharacteristic firmness.
"Mom's sick."
"Huh? Sick? This sis?"
Marigold's eyes went wide.
It was an over-the-top reaction, like a natural disaster had struck.
Well, she'd never seen me bedridden before, so it wasn't that surprising.
Not that it was anywhere near that bad.
"Lemme see."
Marigold hurried over and placed a hand on my forehead.
"No fever..."
This time, she sniffed. She leaned in near my neck, her eyes narrowing.
"Weird."
"What is?"
"You smell sweet."
Her playful glint was gone, replaced by searching eyes.
"Deeper than usual, and kinda damp... Yeah. Like the ocean."
"The ocean doesn't smell sweet."
"You're right? Why'd I think it was sweet?"
"Salty, maybe, but not sweet."
"No, it's not just some plain sugary smell. It's stickier, deeper..."
Marigold frowned, unable to find the right words. She waved her hand in frustration before cutting straight to it.
"Anyway! It's definitely different. Totally not like normal."
"Just tired, that's all."
"Sis, you ignoring my instincts? This doesn't feel like it'll pass with rest."
She planted her hands on her hips and declared firmly.
"Let's go to a pro."
"A pro?"
"Yeah. What good's suffering here? There's a place way better than any hospital. And they've got solid backup too."
A pro.
Someone reliable, and not hostile.
There was only one spot that fit those tricky criteria.
"The Commander."
More precisely, where the Commander was.
"Ah..."
Esira pouted. Her expression twisted subtly.
To her right now, it probably looked like something had gone down between me and the Commander in the past.
Ex-boyfriend treatment was a bit unfair, though.
Marigold nodded knowingly beside her.
"No one else to go to but the Commander."
Esira muttered in resignation.
She knew as well as anyone—there were no other options.
'I'm honestly not sick enough to bother the Commander.'
But they'd only relax if I did something.
"Esira, you don't want to?"
"...Don't want to. But."
She looked up at me and nodded solemnly.
"I hate Mom being sick more. So instead!"
Esira thrust up her index finger.
"Just the checkup, okay? No hanging around that ugly uncle."
"Of course."
"Really just the checkup."
I pinched her cheek, and she rubbed against my hand with a still-grumpy face.
The Commander's place was still bustling as ever.
"Must've been a trek from way out there."
The casual version of the Commander.
He greeted us with a friendly smile.
Looked perfectly fine, perfectly diligent.
Reina, standing beside him, bowed awkwardly.
"It's been a while... Lady Asrania."
"You've grown a bit."
"Ehehe. Thanks."
Reina fiddled with her earlobe, bashful. She was clearly more at ease than our first meeting.
The Commander got straight to business.
"So, what brings you here?"
"Mom's sick."
Esira jumped in before I could answer.
Marigold chimed in too, gesturing wildly as she listed symptoms.
"Says her body's heavy. No fever, but no energy. Totally different from usual."
Is it really that bad?
The Commander pondered briefly, then nodded.
"Hard to judge from words alone. Gotta see for myself. Let's do some tests."
He naturally took the lead. Even as we walked the halls, he snuck glances to check on me.
"Need a hand if it's tough?"
"Not that bad."
The Commander gave an awkward smile.
We chatted idly as we walked the corridor.
Then, out of nowhere, he said with a half-amused, half-resigned look,
"You know how they treat me around here lately?"
"How?"
"The guy who brainwashed you, they say. Haha. Hilarious, right? I don't even remember. Driving me nuts. Follows me everywhere like a label."
"Really? Never heard a peep about it in front of me."
The Commander looked genuinely aggrieved.
"But if you want, I could try making the rumors true—"
"Just cut the nonsense."
Two icy glares hit him instantly.
"......"
Marigold and Esira stared daggers.
"Was just trying to lighten the mood..."
The kids knew exactly when this guy spouted crap.
The door opened, and a woman in a white coat appeared.
Less doctor, more mad scientist vibe.
Beatrice, one of the Commander's key people.
"Come in. Alone."
"...Esira, wait here a sec."
"...Okay."
I squeezed Esira's hand once before entering alone.
"Patient gown. Put it on."
"It's just fatigue—"
"If it was just fatigue, you wouldn't drag yourself here... I'd appreciate it if you changed."
In the end, I obediently changed.

Doctors' orders and all.
Beatrice fastened a metal ring around my wrist.
"Tell me if it's uncomfortable."
She attached a cold sensor to my nape. A faint vibration traveled straight to my bones.
"Lie down."
As I leaned back on the bed, complex machinery descended, bathing my body in red light.
Only the hum of machines and keyboard clacks filled the room.
"Done."
The device retracted, and I sat up.
"Results?"
"Hold on. Analyzing."
Beatrice didn't look away from the monitor as she tossed out small talk.
"Heard about you from the Commander."
"Badmouthing me?"
"Nah. Opposite. All praise, which is the problem. My ears are callused."
She swiveled her chair to face me directly.
"Honestly, I'm grateful. A big shot like you cooperating with him is damn near a miracle. Word around is you two were lovers back in the day."
"Rumor."
"I know. I see it that way too. He's not from this world, so no time to even meet."
She nailed the key point.
"But without that context, I'd buy it."
"...Why?"
"Comparing past data, you're a totally different person now."
Beatrice's gaze flicked to the door. Esira waited beyond it.
"Without the Commander—or that kid—would you be here so meekly for tests?"
Probably not.
"If you want, it'd be great if you joined us. Facilities here are top-notch, good for the kid too."
Never expected a scout offer from the protagonist's crew.
Not a bad pitch.
"Pass on the scout. Results ready?"
"Just popped up. Interesting."
Beatrice's eyes darted between the monitor and me.
"No reaction at all. Blank."
"Good?"
"Dunno if 'good' fits."
Beatrice paused, searching for words.
"It's not the reaction of a normal living being."