A Date?! (1)
I was screwed.
My brilliant plan—to raise hell with Barton as the sacrificial lamb and then fling my resignation letter in their faces—had gone up in smoke completely.
"Wow, Tax Collector, sir! I heard the malicious delinquents are lining up at the Tax Bureau of their own free will again today!"
That was right. The moment I fired a cannon straight through the middle of the capital and blew Barton's mansion to pieces, the terrified tax delinquents had come flooding into the Tax Bureau to pay what they owed, just as Rhea said.
Apparently they had started pouring in like a tidal wave from the instant I surrounded the mansion with Imperial troops.
And on top of that, I had squeezed a thousand gold out of Barton.
So when word reached the Minister that I was on my way back, she had come sprinting out barefoot, dopamine practically spraying from her ears.
These people are all out of their minds.
How was anyone supposed to react when I had gone completely berserk with cannons and rifles in the middle of the capital—in a residential district packed with high-ranking nobles, no less—and they wanted to praise me for it?
Were these people actually sane?
I could not, by any stretch of common sense, understand it.
Of course, protest letters had come pouring in like a flood at first.
But that had only lasted a moment.
Between the thousand gold I had wrung out of Barton and the taxes pouring into the treasury in real time, the national coffers were filling up nicely. The very next day after I finished the job, the Emperor himself summoned the Minister and praised her in front of the entire council until his mouth went dry.
Once His Supreme Majesty the Emperor came out like that, the protest letters stopped cold, and everyone who had been raising a fuss vanished without a trace.
And the result of all that was…
"Tax Collector, sir! The Minister's office is asking who the next malicious delinquent is—they want the related documents transferred over right away!"
"A letter just arrived from the Capital Guard. They say next time we carry out an enforcement, we absolutely have to take them along!"
"Waaah! Look at this! The Commander of the Imperial Army sent a congratulatory wreath! Oh my goodness! There's one from the Imperial Household too…!"
My once quiet, peaceful office had been reduced to pure chaos under the avalanche of letters and wreaths arriving from every direction.
Add Rhea's gushing on top of it all, and my mental state shattered into a thousand pieces.
I want to bite my tongue and die.
Unable to take it any longer, I shoved my chair back, stood up, and walked straight out of the office.
Wasn't there somewhere I could get a little peace and quiet?
Searching for a place that might soothe my exhausted body and mind, I headed for…
"Hoo. It's been a while. But barging in like this during work hours—is that really all right?"
…the office of Brigadier General Cromwell at Imperial Army Headquarters.
He was an old friend I had gotten to know back when I was operating as an Intelligence Bureau agent on the Northern Front.
"Couldn't find anywhere else I could rest easy. It's been a while, so do me a favor."
I dropped casually into his chair and propped my legs up on the desk. He let out a long sigh and shook his head.
"Same as ever. Still a complete pain in the ass…"
Then he pulled a thick cigar from inside his coat, clamped it between his teeth, and puffed out a dense cloud of smoke as he grumbled.
I just shrugged and snorted.
"Heh. And you're still just as foul-mouthed as ever."
"Damn it. I'm already buried up to my neck, and you just waltz in here and announce you're going to slack off right in my face? Are you trying to mess with me?"
"How busy could you possibly be?"
"What?!"
"This isn't the Northern Front. This is the capital—the safest place in the entire Empire. What the hell is the Imperial Army even supposed to be doing here?"
"Ugh. I should just stop talking."
Brigadier General Cromwell stuck out his tongue in disgust and sat down across from me.
As I offered him a sunny smile, he pointed at the mountain of documents piled on his desk and went on.
"My subordinates don't have anything to do. Well—so long as some lunatic doesn't send over an official request for cooperation asking us to blow an entire mansion sky-high in the name of collecting taxes. But the brass like me? We're a little busy."
"Quit whining."
"Whining? Coming from the guy who ran away from work because he didn't feel like doing it, that feels a little rich."
"…Fair point."
"Tsk. I never thought dealing with the capital's old fossils would be this much of a headache. No matter how I look at it, politics just isn't my thing. I'd rather be back on the front lines."
Cromwell kept blasting smoke in thick streams, then gave a bitter smile and glanced out the window for a moment.
"Maybe I should just write a resignation letter myself…"
"You think writing a resignation letter is that easy?"
"Looking at the state you're in, it doesn't exactly look easy."
"If that bastard Bureau Chief hadn't handed me over to Elena…"
"Keh-heh-heh! What can you do? When the top says jump, you jump. Still, you're in a much better situation than I am."
"How so?"
"Minister Elena is at least young and pretty. Me? Day in and day out, all I deal with are toothless old men."
"Ahem! I may have spoken out of turn."
"Instead of that, why not make the best of it and try getting along with Elena? You two were academy classmates, weren't you?"
"Have you lost your damn mind?"
I spat out a curse at that load of garbage, and Cromwell snickered, flashing a thoroughly punchable grin.
But only for a moment.
He took a deep drag on the cigar in his hand, then opened his mouth again with a face that looked bitterly resigned.
"I started my military career on the battlefield. Adjusting to life here hasn't been easy."
"Mm. I suppose it wouldn't be. Same for me."
"Right. I figured if anyone would understand, it would be you. They drag people who've only ever known the battlefield into the capital and suddenly tell them to handle administration and God knows what else—work they've never done in their lives. Is everyone out of their minds?"
"That's exactly what I've been saying."
"Which is why I want you and Elena to get along even more."
"Yeah, sure, I can—wait, what?"
I had almost nodded along without thinking. I jerked upright, eyes flying wide, and sucked in a sharp breath.
Has this bastard completely lost it?
What the hell does your suffering have to do with that?
I was so flabbergasted the words stuck in my throat with a hard click.
Undeterred, Cromwell launched into his nonsense with a face of absolute seriousness.
"Now that the war's over, do you know what bothers Imperial officers like me the most?"
"No idea. Don't want to know, either. Why would I need to know that?"
"Money. It's money."
"Oh, give me a break."
"Because of the war, they drafted soldiers and officers by the truckload and stockpiled mountains of military supplies—and then the war just… ended, just like that, completely hollow. The brass up top are struggling to clean up the mess."
"And I'm supposed to care because…?"
"Because of course the top is trying to slash the budget any way they can, while the bottom is screaming for money. And in the middle of all that, people like me are the ones who suffer."
I twisted my face into a scowl and sneered at him.
He paid me no mind whatsoever.
Cromwell just kept ploughing steadily ahead with what he wanted to say.
"And right in the middle of all that, you not only handed over five hundred gold for unit operating funds, but the national treasury is filling up too. The old fossils have gotten a whole lot more agreeable. So from where I'm sitting, wouldn't it be better for me if you and Minister Elena kept working together for a long, long time and racked up plenty of results?"
"For God's sake, just write the damn resignation letter."
"Don't look at it so negatively. Try thinking a little more positively. What's wrong with Minister Elena? She's from a powerful family, she's capable, and on top of that, she's beautiful."
"Then why don't you go chase her."
"Unfortunately, I already have a fiancée arranged by my family, so that would be rather difficult."
"'Unfortunately,' my ass."
I could not listen to another second of Cromwell's garbage. I stood up and brushed myself off.
"Leaving already? Stick around a little longer."
"I think I'd rather rent a room at an inn and rest there."
"Always so damn touchy. Next time you come, don't show up empty-handed. Bring something."
"……"
At Cromwell's thoroughly playful parting shot, irritation surged up so hard I bit down on my lip and walked out without a single word of reply.
You son of a bitch.
Just watch me come back.
Even the man I had thought of as a friend was against my resignation.
As expected, there wasn't a single person in this world you could trust.
And what was that? Get along with Minister Elena?
Ugh. I was going to lose my mind.
Well, she is pretty, but still…
For a second Elena's face floated unbidden into my mind. I shook my head hard and forced myself to snap out of it.
Still, I managed to kill a decent amount of time.
By the time I trudged back to the Ministry of Finance, the sun was already sinking low on the horizon.
I checked the time. Quitting hour was right around the corner.
I considered just turning around and going home—but then Rhea popped into my head, almost certainly still waiting for me alone in the office.
She would absolutely be sitting there like a puppy that needed to pee, refusing to clock out until I got back.
So, with no other choice, I went into the building and headed for the office.
I absently returned the greetings of employees heading home one by one, and finally arrived at the office door.
That was when a familiar perfume—soft and sweet, like candy—tickled the tip of my nose.
Don't tell me…
A sudden jolt of unease hit me, and I tried to spin on my heel—
"Heeh? I wonder what important business kept our Special Tax Collector out of the office all day long?"
—when the Minister herself stepped out from the far end of the corridor in a pure white dress.
Damn it…
She was lying in wait? Is she a stalker or what?
I flinched and started backing away—only for Minister Elena to close the distance in a blink, seize my arm without warning, and haul me along.
"I already sent the Secretariat home. So as punishment for playing hooky today, our Special Tax Collector is going to have to go on a date with me."
Aigoo. I had felt something off from the moment that bastard Cromwell started running his mouth.
Of all the days—couldn't even make it to quitting time before this bolt from the blue dropped on my head.
More importantly… wasn't this an abuse of authority?