Non-Humans and the Poll Tax (4)
"I-I really don't know anything! Aaagh! Stop!"
"Please, spare me! I've got a family to feed!"
From the crack of dawn, the Audit Bureau staff had stormed in, and the Tax Bureau had dissolved into pure pandemonium.
Some of them put up a rough fight, raising their voices in protest; others latched onto the auditors' pant legs and wailed at the top of their lungs.
The Audit Bureau staff didn't so much as bat an eye. They hauled every last one of them out and turned the Tax Bureau upside down.
"What kind of outrage is this?!"
Theodore, Director of the Tax Bureau, hauled his massive frame outside and bellowed at the person in charge of the raid—only for the cold-faced woman to snort without so much as a glance.
"We are in the middle of official business. Your cooperation would be appreciated."
"What did you just say? How is any of this legitimate official business?! Huh?! What's your name? State your rank and affiliation!"
"Division Chief of the 1st Audit Department, Reina Reinhardt. Will that do?"
"Re-Reinhardt?! Don't tell me you're from the Reinhardt Marquisate…?"
"Director Theodore Brandel, what exactly does that have to do with anything? Are you the sort of man who weighs status and family lineage even during the execution of official duties?"
The moment he heard the Division Chief's name, Director Theodore stammered and floundered, completely at a loss.
Standing at the far end of the corridor and watching the whole spectacle unfold in real time, I shook my head in pure disgust.
Pathetic didn't even begin to cover it.
The fact that Director Theodore and I belonged to the same Ministry of Finance was downright embarrassing.
He must have won the director's seat in a card game. There was no other explanation for a display this disgraceful.
No wonder his subordinates were taking bribes left and right.
If this had been the Intelligence Bureau, scum like him would have died in the field as rookies long before they ever climbed this high.
I understood all over again why Elena had specifically wanted an Intelligence Bureau agent when she created the Special Tax Collector post.
Just then, the floundering Director Theodore's gaze swung toward me. Hot breath snorting from his nostrils, he stomped over.
"It was you! This was your doing—I'm sure of it!"
"I have no idea what you're talking about."
"Shut your mouth! The Minister takes medical leave, the Vice Minister is out at an imperial council meeting, and suddenly the Audit Bureau shows up? Do you take me for an idiot?"
"Are you a novelist too, by any chance? Ever since I transferred to the Ministry of Finance, I keep running into artists."
"Y-you little—!"
This wasn't even a case of getting slapped in Jongno and glaring at someone by the Han River. Watching Director Theodore turn purple and thrash about like a man possessed, I nearly burst out laughing against my will.
He looked like a dancing pig straight out of a circus act.
That seemed to push him over the edge. He started fiddling with his gloves, looking ready to charge me on the spot.
Whoa there. You throw that at me and you're a dead man.
"I knew it from the moment some nobody I'd never heard of parked himself in a 1st-Grade Management Officer's seat. Playing the Intelligence Bureau veteran, are we? Is that it?"
"Wouldn't it be stranger if you knew anything about Intelligence Bureau agents?"
"This bastard's going to keep playing word games till the end?"
"What exactly am I supposed to have done?"
"Ah. So that's how you want to play it? Nibble away at the Tax Bureau first, then swallow the entire Ministry of Finance whole—that's your scheme, isn't it!"
"I thought you were a novelist. Turns out you're just a lunatic."
What? Me, swallowing the entire Ministry of Finance?
He was writing fanfiction at this point.
I was a man who wanted nothing more than to escape this place as fast as humanly possible, and this idiot was mocking me?
Speechless, I drew a short breath and stared at him.
"You think everything's going to go exactly the way you planned? You think everyone's dancing in the palm of your hand? Don't delude yourself. Do you know who I am? I clawed my way up from the very bottom to become Director of the Tax Bureau. I'm Ministry of Finance through and through! Through and through! You think I'm just going to sit here and take this?!"
Whether he grasped my feelings or not, Theodore kept screaming bloody murder at me even as the Audit Bureau staff dragged him away.
"Rohan Blackwood! I'm going to kill you! I swear I'll kill you!"
"Director Theodore, it's time to go. Please cooperate."
"Let go! I said let go of me! Who do you think you are?! Just because you're the Audit Bureau, you think you can treat people like this? Huh?!"
"What are you all standing around for?! Drag him out already!"
He was so enormous that it took four or five burly auditors straining and grunting before Director Theodore's body finally started sliding across the floor.
In every possible way, he was an impressive specimen of a man.
That's right. Don't you forget today's humiliation—and please, do me the favor of getting me thrown out of here.
I watched Director Theodore thrash and get hauled away, a smile tugging at the corner of my mouth.
If he ever came back, I had a feeling he'd put his back into getting me to resign.
Of course, that was only possible if he walked out of the Audit Bureau with all his limbs still attached.
Still, he was a director. He'd cut a few tails, sell someone out, and wriggle free on his own somehow.
An unexpected ally had dropped into my lap. I couldn't say I hated it.
"Are you certain you'll be all right?"
Once Theodore and several other staff members had been dragged off, Division Chief Reina of the Audit Bureau approached and asked.
"What do you mean?"
"Director Theodore already knows you were the whistleblower. You could face retaliation later."
"Ah. No need to worry about that."
"If you wish, our Audit Bureau could arrange personal protection…"
"That won't be necessary either."
I cut off her follow-up offer without a second's hesitation.
She looked briefly startled, as if she hadn't expected that, then composed her face again and gave a short nod.
"If you insist, then so be it. I hear you're formerly of the Intelligence Bureau. Should any trouble arise from this matter, I hope you'll inform me."
"Today's events are going to give the Audit Bureau plenty of headaches of its own. Can you even handle that? I'm genuinely fine—just focus on the case."
"I believe you may have misunderstood me. That is not what I meant."
Misunderstood? Then what exactly had Division Chief Reina been trying to say?
I furrowed my brow at her cryptic words—and a moment later she glanced around, stepped in closer, and murmured under her breath.
"From what I observed earlier, the Special Tax Collector seems to be treated like a stone that rolled in from somewhere else. Our Audit Bureau does not treat capable talent that way."
"……"
"If the Special Tax Collector were to join us, creating a single 1st-Grade Management post would be no trouble at all."
Good heavens. How could someone deliver such complete nonsense with a face that terrifying?
If I went, they'd just throw me into every headache imaginable—go arrest so-and-so, go raid such-and-such place. Honestly, the Audit Bureau and the Ministry of Finance were six of one and half a dozen of the other.
Why was everyone so desperate to get their hands on me?
A sudden headache rolled in.
"Heh. Well then, I'll take my leave."
Whether I answered or not, Division Chief Reina moved off with that same thin, knowing smile still on her lips.
Damn it. Was I going to have to make a midnight run for it?
"S-Special Tax Collector, sir. A-are we really going to be okay like this?"
Rhea surveyed the empty Tax Bureau in the wake of the storm, trembling with a face full of dread.
"I'll take full responsibility. So you don't need to worry."
"Sh-shouldn't we have at least reported to the Vice Minister or the Minister first…?"
"The Minister is out on medical leave and didn't come in. The Vice Minister, who's acting in his place, is at the imperial palace and isn't at his desk either."
"Even so, this feels a little…"
"Secretariat Rhea. If there's no Minister and no Vice Minister, isn't it only natural that a 1st-Grade Management Officer steps in as acting authority?"
I laid it on thick, shamelessly spouting complete nonsense.
Because, of course, the actual acting duties were being handled by 1st-Grade Management Officers from other departments.
"The tax collectors charged with gathering the people's taxes were lining their own pockets and bleeding the citizenry dry. I consider that a grave crime that dishonors the imperial house and shakes the very foundations of the Empire. Do you disagree?"
"N-no, sir. I th-think the same…"
"Of course, as you say, reporting to the Minister and Vice Minister first would have been proper. But what was I supposed to do? Both of them were away. And once I'd uncovered a crime this serious, I could hardly pretend I hadn't seen it, could I?"
At that, Rhea went completely silent, like someone who'd swallowed a mouthful of honey.
When you stripped it all down, nothing I'd said was actually wrong.
Well. The justification is solid enough.
I shrugged and turned away.
All I'd wanted was to rough up Wilson and a few other tax collectors as payback for taking bribes.
I hadn't expected the Audit Bureau to march straight into the Ministry of Finance and trash the place this openly.
Their methods were so completely unlike the Intelligence Bureau's that even I had been a little thrown.
And the fact that the Minister and Vice Minister had both been out at the same time hadn't been something I'd arranged either.
But thanks to that, Theodore now knew I'd been the internal whistleblower.
The Minister, the Vice Minister, and the other senior officials would absolutely make an issue of it.
The justification is airtight, so they won't be able to touch me right away—but internally, they'll all be lighting fires under themselves to get me thrown out.
The Audit Bureau's spectacular rampage, plus the exquisite timing of both the Minister and Vice Minister being away, had unintentionally brought me one step closer to my dream of resignation.
A cow taking a backward step and catching a mouse, as the saying went.
They called it a blessing in disguise, didn't they? And things were falling into place like this again?
Rhea was watching, so I couldn't show it—but I felt so good my mouth kept twitching upward on its own.
"Rhea, you're dismissed for the day."
The appetizer was over. Time for the main course.
I wanted to savor the main dish alone, so I ordered Rhea to clock out and set off at once.
"What?! There's still four hours left until the end of the workday!"
I could hear Rhea protesting something behind me, but I didn't so much as pretend to listen.
Honestly, though—wasn't the normal reaction to be happy when your boss sent you home four hours early?
I swear, that Rhea was impossible to figure out.