It's Common Sense That Male Special Students Have the Biggest Dicks♡
“Ow.”
I woke from a dream of falling from somewhere high.
I had an annoying jinx where something terrible always happened on days that started with a dream like that, and an uneasy chill lingered in my chest. Even so, vague anxiety was hardly an acceptable reason to skip school.
“Hah... Why did I have to be born in an era like this? If I’d just been born a few years earlier, I would have graduated from school by now...”
A few years ago, amid accelerating technological advances, the crucial importance of extended compulsory education became a national priority, lengthening the mandatory schooling period from twelve years to a full fifteen. That meant completing six years of elementary, three of middle, and three of high school—twelve years in total—was merely the baseline. And so, at the ripe age of twenty, when we rightfully should have been out drinking alcohol as legal adults, our generation was instead forced to attend a Higher Education Academy, shackled and suppressed by suffocating school regulations.
If it weren’t for the entrance ceremony, I might have tried playing hooky for the day. But the entrance ceremony featured orientation and recreational activities meant to help everyone bond. Missing today meant risking social alienation for the rest of my time here.
Still, there was one saving grace: our school was a prestigious, all-girls academy. Even the faculty was composed entirely of women. In other words, it was a spotless sanctuary where I wouldn't have to lay eyes on pathetic delinquents or crude men. Thankful for that small mercy, I boarded the morning academy bus.
“We will now begin the entrance ceremony.”
The voice echoed across the auditorium, belonging to someone who had no business standing at a podium: a bleached-blonde thug covered in vicious, intimidating tattoos. What did people call men like that again? Ah, right. A blonde, tanned delinquent—a gyaru-oh, commonly mocked as a geumtaeyang. He was the spitting image of one.
How could someone like that—a man, no less—be standing inside our academy?
Just as that bewildered question formed in my mind, murmurs began rustling through the crowd around me. Girls harboring the exact same doubts started trading hushed whispers.
“Who is that...?”
“Is this some kind of event...?”
“Could he be an invited guest speaker?”
“Ah, they did mention there would be recreational activities, after all.”
“Still, it's so offensive.”
“Seriously. What were the teachers thinking, bringing someone like that here...?”
“It really brings down the class of the school.”
“It leaves such a bad taste in my mouth.”
“Honestly, he's kind of disgusting.”
The murmurs grew steadily more scathing. Yet nobody considered such reactions uncalled for. Applying to an all-girls academy rather than a co-ed school was a clear statement that none of these girls had any fondness for men outside their immediate families or boyfriends. In a communal academic setting, having the opposite sex around only bred friction and discomfort. At the very least, every girl gathered here viewed men as disruptive creatures that hindered personal efficiency and focus.
I, Yeon Cheongha, felt precisely the same way.
And by my judgment, this was the exact moment for me—the top-ranking freshman and student body representative—to step forward.
“Excuse me. I believe an introduction is in order. Are you truly in an official position that permits you to take the microphone and address us from the stage?”
“Pfft.”
“Snrk.”
Giggles and snickers rippled through the assembly. My classmates were clearly in agreement with my challenge. In truth, the man was profoundly suspicious. Instead of answering my question, he merely tilted his head, regarding me with an amused smirk.
“Please give us an answer.”
He still offered no reply to the hall. Instead, he muttered something incomprehensible under his breath—a whisper so low that only I and a handful of students standing at the very front could catch it.
“Heh... interesting. Smart bitches really don't fall for it as easily, huh?”
The moment I parted my lips to call out his vile, suspicious remark, the bastard raised the microphone back to his mouth.
“Mic check, one, two. Hey, everyone. Think again. You’re all elite students, aren’t you? You should be able to remember. Absolutely. Come on, jog your memories.”
His voice was slimy, cloying, and disgusting—a tone practically dripping with foul vulgarity. The insolent composure in his voice grated on my nerves to no end.
“Answer the question properly. If you attempt to brush this off again, I will report you to the authorities.”
“Whoa there. Can’t have you doing that.”
After that mocking brush-off, he pulled the microphone away from his lips and muttered to himself once more: “Guess I’ll have to give them a little push this time.”
Bringing the microphone back up, he addressed the crowd. “Think real hard, everyone. How could a man possibly be standing here? And looking at me, what do you think I'm here to do? Huh? Use those clever little heads of yours and think. Smart bitches like you should know. Pfft.”
An undisguised, arrogant sneer echoed through the speakers.
That sound violently tore through what little patience and reason we had left.
“Excuse me! You!”
I was the first to raise my voice, shouting above the murmurs.
“You’ve clearly lost your mind! I’m reporting you this inst—”
The words caught in my throat.
My brain seized.
A terrifying sensation struck me—as if my mind had completely died, only to be dismantled, reassembled, and forcefully rebooted in a fraction of a second, crashing over my consciousness like a tidal wave.
“Ngh... ah...”
It was a dizzying, bizarre shock, but I shook it off. I had to finish what I was saying.
“You... ah, wait? Uh... You’re... That’s right... Of course... As a countermeasure against the low birth rate, rumors have been circulating since last year. That an exceptional male or female student would be assigned to single-gender academies as a Special Student. Yes... I clearly remember that now.”
Right. How could someone of my caliber have forgotten something so fundamental?
The true meaning of the dream I had this morning suddenly became clear. It hadn't been a warning of misfortune; it had been an omen that I was completely overlooking a critical piece of knowledge. How mortifying.
“I'm sorry. Still, since we're the same age, it's fine if I speak casually, right?”
Looking strictly at the outcome of the policy, it sounded bizarre on paper—a single young man dropped into an academy overflowing with women. Yet when I thought about it rationally, the policy had undeniable merit. When women were kept entirely among themselves, they naturally grew ignorant about men. And humans fear what they do not know. If young women developed a phobia of men, marriage and dating rates would only plummet further.
Convinced of the policy's social utility, I addressed him again with composed authority.
“Could you please introduce yourself? You must have had a reason for taking the stage.”
I thought I had done an impeccable job of hiding my embarrassment behind an aloof facade, but apparently my fluster had bled through. The bastard burst into crude laughter and muttered under his breath.
“Ahahahahaha, fuck! So that’s how your head twisted it this time? Man... smart bitches really are fucking hilarious. Pffft.”
My cheeks grew warm, and my voice tightened. Because I recognized my earlier rudeness in challenging a legitimate Special Student, I restrained my temper, raising my voice only slightly.
“Even if you are a Special Student, I expect you to show basic courtesy.”
The man snickered again, as if physically incapable of holding back his contemptuous amusement, before grinning down at me.
“Hey, since you dropped honorifics, I’m dropping mine too, got it? Then why don’t you say it with your own mouth? What are the selection criteria for being chosen as a Special Student?”
The criteria for a Special Student...?
What was it again?
I scrambled through the filing cabinets of my mind, desperately searching my memory. Finally, I found it.
Yet the moment I grasped the answer, my breath hitched. That... that was something I could never possibly say aloud.
“Th-That’s...”
My voice trailed off, stuck in my throat.
“You gotta answer me. You bitches have a duty to answer up to five questions a day as long as they don't break the law, don't you?”
Ah... ah?
There was... such a rule.
Right, of course there was.
What is wrong with me today...?
To repeatedly blank on such foundational, common-sense knowledge... Nothing like this had ever happened in my entire life.
In any case, he was the sole male in the entire academy. It was bound to be terribly awkward for him. Forcing communication through mandatory inquiries would undeniably help him adjust to the student body. And for us as women, initiating open dialogue with a man would undoubtedly help foster romantic receptivity down the road. It was thoroughly rational, common-sense logic, yet I had let it slip my mind. My physical condition must have been truly abysmal today...
Still, wasn't this question crossing the line? Wouldn't it be considered illegal harassment?
Doubt churned inside me. But then, the qualifications he met to be assigned here were an established public fact that everyone already knew. Even if it was mortifying to voice... it technically didn't violate the law.
...Besides, there was no regulation specifying the exact words I had to use.
“Y-Yes. The standard for being assigned to a girls' academy as a Special Student is... having the highest testosterone levels among male students within the district... and being the one who is the largest... that's who gets selected, as far as I am aware...”
The man’s smirk widened. My prudish phrasing clearly failed to satisfy him. He had a deliberate, malicious intent in mind—anyone with eyes could see it. Yet I had no right of refusal. Enduring this without faltering was a burden I had to shoulder to prove my standing as an elite representative.
“Hey, the largest what? Pfft... Snrk. Hehehe.”
“I-I will answer. A man's private pa—”
“Hey! You fucking bitch!”
Ugh...!
Drowning in the absolute peak of humiliation—a toxic brew of shame from my own ignorance and the raw filth of the word I was being forced to articulate—the heavy, commanding male bellow made my entire body violently flinch. It broke my pride and forced me to acknowledge my transgression.
At that exact moment, that bizarre sensation of my brain being forcefully restructured crashed through my skull once more. And with that mental shift, my mistake became glaringly, painfully obvious.
“...I’m sorry for not calling it a dick. You’re... yes. That is... You... you were assigned here as a Special Student for being the man with the biggest... the biggest dick in our district.”
Pfft. Snrk. Suppressed laughter erupted across the hall.
This time, it wasn't just the bleached-blonde delinquent on stage. It came from the girls all around me. And from the female teachers watching from the back of the auditorium. Though the faculty wore expressions of slight pity, they couldn't entirely stifle the amusement bubbling up their throats.
Chortles, muffled snickers, and breathless giggles echoed from every corner. The hall filled with every conceivable sound of young women desperately failing to hold back their laughter at my expense.
After that, was it a relief?
No, calling it a relief would be going too far. It was my own fault from the start for failing to properly memorize the revised educational guidelines. In any event, the rest of the entrance ceremony proceeded according to the schedule I had anticipated.
However, due to the physical contact involved in the upcoming recreational icebreakers, the bleached-blonde Special Student was formally excused from participation. It would have made everyone uncomfortable, so I considered it a very sensible decision on the teachers’ part.
Yet... at the time, I had no idea what kind of catastrophic fallout that simple decision would bring.
Yeon Cheongha
