Chapter 97
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 97
With a trembling jaw, Dokyun began to chew.
The first thing he registered was the texture. It was mushy. Utterly and completely mushy. Even though he was chewing fish, it felt like he had a mouthful of jelly.
Then came the taste. An indescribable, peculiar flavor began to fill his mouth. He couldn't taste the usual fishiness of the salmon. It was likely masked by the overpowering aroma of the cilantro.
But that didn't mean the taste of the fish was gone entirely. One thing had to be made clear: she was one of Go Eun-ah's personalities. Which meant she was a phenomenal cook.
The “Steamed Salmon with Cilantro” was a so-called harmony of its two main ingredients, a blend that assaulted my tongue. He would have preferred it if the sharp taste of the cilantro had completely erased the flavor of the fish, if it had just done one thing right. But no, the taste of the salmon was still there, asserting its presence with distinct clarity.
An orchestra of demons.
That was the only way to describe the mind-numbing harmony.
“How is it?”
At Eun-seol’s question, Dokyun looked up to study her expression.
A placid face. Eyes that met his directly. And to top it all off, the corners of her lips were turned up in a slight, infuriating smirk. He wanted to protest, to say something, anything.
But he couldn’t bring himself to utter a word, because she was genuinely enjoying the meal.
Unbelievably, her face was brighter than usual as she shoveled the food into her mouth.
His assumption had been wrong. Eun-seol hadn’t made these dishes to torture him; she had made them because she truly found them delicious.
If he were to offer any criticism, it was obvious how her expression would change.
With a trembling mouth, Dokyun forced a smile and spoke.
“I-It’s delicious…”
The words were a blatant lie.
After answering, Dokyun watched her face. The smile she wore deepened. After a moment, she chuckled softly, then scooped a portion of her steamed salmon onto his plate.
“I’m glad it suits your palate. Here, have some more. You must be exhausted.”
You’re the one exhausting me.
The words were on the tip of his tongue, but they didn't escape his lips. Dokyun knew how to read a room.
“Th-Thank you…!”
Just endure it. Just get through this moment. With that thought, Dokyun forced another bite of the steamed salmon into his mouth.
His eyes squeezed shut as he chewed.
This was food torture. There was no other word for it.
It was a torment he hadn't experienced a single time since his discharge from the military. No, it was an unprecedented form of food torture he hadn't even experienced during his military service.
At least the hazing rituals in the Marines were done with snacks. The taste was never the problem. Of course, you were forced to stuff yourself with an impossible quantity, but that was no different from now. In terms of sheer agony, this moment was overwhelmingly worse.
Suddenly, the face of Sergeant Jeong Chan-ho, the senior who used to offer him snacks, superimposed itself over Eun-seol’s.
“Enjoy your food.”
—Enjoy your food.
The words were offered with a warm smile. But even if the intention was good, there was no guarantee the result would be. Pain and despair. Followed by hatred. Dokyun felt a bitter malice boiling up from within at the unwelcome kindness being forced upon him.
A palate cleanser. He needed a palate cleanser.
Dokyun’s eyes darted to the “Hot Tomato Salad.”
He had no idea why it was “hot” or why steam was rising from the tomatoes, but he grabbed a forkful, thinking, ‘At least it has to be better than this,’ and, ‘It should wash away this sharp taste in my mouth.’ He shoved the tomato and greens into his mouth in one go.
A moment later.
Fuck…!
He regretted his choice. This was just as bad.
The taste itself was more tolerable than the salmon, but the texture was the problem. The hot, mushy tomato combined with the crisp, fresh greens to create a monstrous mouthfeel. And on top of that, the dressing drizzled over the entire salad was…
Hot sauce…!
It was the taste of hot sauce.
The taste that had become a trauma for him after his trip to the pizza place with Eun-ji on Christmas. That very flavor was now ravaging his tongue.
Now he understood. Why it was called “Hot Tomato Salad.”
With trembling eyes, Dokyun looked at her. She was enjoying her meal, taking sips of wine between bites.
As always, he was the only one suffering here.
A deep sigh escaped him. The despair woven into his breath settled over the food, casting a shadow over the vibrant green.
As he was catching his breath, Eun-seol spoke.
“Not eating? It’s best not to leave leftovers. You should eat when you can.”
“Haha, yes…”
She was urging him to eat again. Dokyun squeezed his eyes shut and picked up his spoon.
*
The long, agonizing moment finally ended. Lying in bed, Dokyun took a deep breath, trying to erase the lingering sensation in his mouth.
No, he tried to erase it.
Her cooking was still assaulting his senses. Even after drinking so much water after the meal, even after brushing his teeth so hard he felt like he’d ground his gums away, the sensation of that moment refused to leave, violating his mouth all over again.
He hated it. He hated her, he hated the food, he hated the world.
When would this feeling finally disappear? He squeezed his eyes shut, but the more desperate he became, the stronger the taste in his mouth seemed to grow.
As he lay there, simmering in malice and resentment, she returned to the bedroom, finished with her preparations for the night.
She came to his side and lay down without a word.
When Dokyun turned his gaze to her, he saw that she was wearing a white one-piece dress for the first time in a long while.
Eun-ah’s dress. Eun-ah’s hairstyle. Dokyun knew what this meant.
“Are you leaving now?”
She would be back tomorrow. After a month and a half, Eun-ah was finally returning.
“Yes. There’s no reason to stay any longer.”
Her reply was a confirmation.
“…Was the meal to your satisfaction?”
And a persistent question.
“…Yes.”
Dokyun felt the faint sentimentality that had been welling up inside him vanish at her relentless questioning. It had been so long since he’d seen her in this outfit that he’d almost forgotten the taste, but this cruel woman was forcing him to remember it all over again.
“Is that so? Then that’s settled.”
She gave a slight nod. Dokyun glanced at her, then forced an awkward smile and changed the subject.
“You’ve worked hard all this time.”
Another farewell for a while. Thinking this, Dokyun let the sentimental feeling rise again as he spoke, and Eun-seol replied.
“It was nothing.”
She said it as casually as ever. After a brief pause, she spoke again.
“…Don’t be impatient.”
“Okay.”
There was no subject, but Dokyun knew instantly what she was trying to say. She was surely talking about his attitude toward Eun-ah.
He remembered how she had comforted him not long after Eun-ah had been confined to bed, when he had been anxiously staring at her cast-covered leg.
He remembered how she had reprimanded him when his mind was filled with thoughts of ‘I have to do something,’ and ‘This is all my fault,’ as he tried to open the door to the workshop.
She was a strange person. She knew his own feelings better than he did, feelings he himself tried to ignore, and she always looked out for him first.
And for that, she was someone he was always grateful for.
As she offered him parting words of advice, Dokyun wondered what he could say to ease her burden, even a little.
“Don’t you worry. You know I’ll handle it well, right?”
“Bullshit.”
A blunt reply. Dokyun felt a laugh escape him.
As he chuckled, she let out a heavy sigh, then closed her eyes and added one last piece of advice.
“She’s been asleep for a long time, so she’ll feel a gap. She’ll try to ignore it, but it won’t be easy. She’ll be anxious, so comfort her.”
“I will.”
Final words of caution. With that, she pressed her lips firmly together.
A sign that she would say no more.
Dokyun understood her gesture and closed his eyes as well.
They didn’t say goodbye.
*
The next day, Dokyun woke to a familiar weight pressing down on his body.
A faint heartbeat. A fragile warmth that felt like it could vanish at any moment. The gentle rise and fall of breath.
When Dokyun opened his eyes, he saw Eun-ah, her face buried in his chest as she breathed softly.
After such a long time, nearly two months, she was back. The moment he realized it, he was struck by how unfamiliar the weight on top of him felt.
Perhaps it was only natural. He had now spent more time with the other personalities than he had with Eun-ah. She had been asleep for well over half a season; it was perfectly understandable that this weight would feel strange.
After a moment of thought, Dokyun lay there blankly before reaching out to stroke Eun-ah’s hair.
It was soft and silky against his fingers. At his touch, she lifted her head and offered a bright smile.
“G-Good morning…!”
She spoke with a lovely eye-smile. This, too, had been a long time.
“Good morning.”
“Mhm…!”
Dokyun returned her greeting, then let out a soft laugh as she snuggled back into his side. He wrapped his arms around her.
“Heehee…”
Her silly little giggle tickled his ear. The scent of her body filled his senses.
It was a funny thing. Even though their bodies had been together this whole time, he only became aware of it when he was with Eun-ah. It was probably because she was the only one with whom he shared this kind of intimate skinship, but Dokyun found it to be a truly welcome thing.
Only when he was with her could he feel this warmth, could her scent drift to him. These things made her special. They allowed him to never forget her, even while being tossed around by all those other unique personalities. More than that, they made him miss her.
Dokyun hugged Eun-ah tighter. The things that let him feel her presence were all so faint, so fragile they felt like they could disappear at any moment. He had to hold her this tightly just to feel them.
Even though they had been together constantly, he had missed this warmth for over a month and a half.
He had finally gotten back the warmth he had fumbled for when waking up alone in bed.
At that realization, a faint smile touched Dokyun’s lips.
“Did you sleep well?”
“Y-Yes…!”
Her reply was slightly stuttered. She peeked her head out to look up at him. After a moment, Eun-ah stretched her neck forward and pressed her lips to his.
A soft ‘smack’ echoed, and a moment later, he felt the brush of soft flesh.
As Dokyun stared blankly at what had just happened, she giggled again and buried her face in his chest.
A beat later, a laugh escaped Dokyun, and he patted her on the back.
“Should we get up now?”
“Nnngh…”
He’d suggested it, thinking they should probably get something to eat, but her answer was a firm no.
“T-Today is a lazy day…!”
Eun-ah snuggled deeper into his arms and continued with a smile.
“I-It’s still the middle of winter, so… j-just a little longer…”
Her words made Dokyun flinch. Still the middle of winter. Reacting to her words, he stroked her back and replied.
“Okay. Today is a lazy day, just for today.”
“Mhm…!”
Dokyun closed his eyes, feeling Eun-ah snuggle against him, smiling endlessly.
Only a few words had passed between them, but he could already feel the gap. For him, it had been nearly two months since he’d last seen her, but she must feel as if she had been with him the whole time. The long wait had been nothing more than a single night’s dream to her.
For a moment, Dokyun thought that this thing called emotion was incredibly lazy.
Even though he already knew everything, even though Eun-seol had warned him so explicitly, his feelings only started to stir after he actually spoke with Eun-ah. It would have been nice if they had prepared themselves in advance, but these lazy emotions were only now starting to work, shaking him to his core.
A wave of pity washed over him. And with it, sadness.
The season of new sprouts was approaching, but she was still stuck in the middle of winter.