Chapter 41
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 41
A week. I hadn’t been counting the days precisely, but that felt right.
The reason I couldn’t count the days… Right, what’s the point of making excuses? It was because I was focused on something else.
To be precise, my every thought was consumed by her.
For a week, we did it the moment we woke up.
We did it when our eyes met over a meal.
We even did it… while we were washing up.
We did it while she was writing, after dinner, and before falling asleep.
‘…’
The moment the brakes I’d put on myself were released, we simply devoured each other like beasts.
The thought belatedly struck me to be careful about contraception, but honestly, I couldn’t be sure. All I could do was pray.
“Hehe…”
Dokyun looked down at Eun-ah, who was playfully toying with his fingers.
The day had ended, we’d come to the bedroom, and we had just finished sharing our bodies once more.
We were lying skin to skin, sharing our warmth and affirming each other's presence, when her clear laughter cut through my thoughts.
In my arms, she held my hand, lacing our fingers together, then releasing them to tickle my palm and trace the length of my fingers, a constant stream of soft laughter escaping her lips.
Even so, her smiling face was so incredibly pure.
“You like it that much?”
“Yesss…!”
Her expression was so endearing that I spoke in a voice full of laughter, and a radiant answer came back.
“I-It’s the best… the best thing in the world…!”
She stopped playing with my hand and threw her arms around me with a smile, making my heart pound all over again.
The warmth that had slowly seeped into me now filled me to the brim, overflowing and making me tremble like this.
Her small gestures, the smile she gave me, the affectionate way she buried herself in my arms—it was all so heart-flutteringly sweet that my eyes followed her without me even realizing it.
When I gently stroked her cheek, the way her eyes slowly closed was adorable.
When I lightly pinched her earlobe, the way she flinched was amusing.
When I brushed the corner of her eye with my thumb, the way she nuzzled her face against my hand sent a tickle through me.
As I was stroking her like that for a moment, she, who had been savoring my touch, let out a small, “Ah,” and opened her mouth.
“O-Oh, right…”
“Hm?”
Her face fell into a pout. The sight of her crestfallen expression made my stomach lurch.
“What’s wrong?”
“T-Tomorrow…”
A sob caught in her throat as she spoke, and a glimmer of light appeared in her eyes.
Seeing her face, Dokyun felt his own chest tighten. He softened his voice and continued.
“Tell me. Hm? Don’t cry.”
“T-Tomorrow… I have to go out…”
“Ah.”
Hearing her words, Dokyun finally remembered something he had forgotten.
‘Right…’
We had spent nearly two weeks inside this house; there were surely things that needed to be taken care of.
For one, the daily necessities wouldn’t just magically replenish themselves forever.
And then there was…
‘The hospital…’
He suspected that was the main reason. He didn’t know the exact diagnosis, but he had certainly felt during their time together that she was suffering from a mental illness.
Things like the drastic mood swings he was seeing right now, or the occasional unfamiliar expressions that crossed her face.
Seeing her take medicine every morning and evening, he could guess that she was probably going out to get a new prescription.
As he was lost in thought, he noticed her head burrowing into his chest.
“Heeiing…”
Suddenly, Dokyun felt that her pouting about having to go outside was like a child throwing a tantrum about not wanting to leave their room. A small laugh escaped him.
“I-I don’t want to be apart…”
The way she clung to him with teary eyes was somehow pitiful.
Dokyun stroked the back of Eun-ah, who was nestled in his arms, and spoke in a soothing tone.
“Go on and get it done. I’ll be waiting for you here.”
“Hnng…”
He felt a dampness spreading on his chest.
Does she like me that much? Does she hate being apart from me that much?
A deep sense of satisfaction filled his chest at the thought, yet a part of him couldn’t shake the question of why she was so attached to him after only two weeks.
The question, Why me?, kept circling in his head.
He looked down at her, her face buried in his chest.
This time, a little over a fortnight, had made me fall for her, but it hadn’t told me anything about her.
I was curious.
Why me? And why was she clinging to me so desperately?
What was it that made her cling to him like this?
What kind of life had she lived, and why was she hurting so much, all alone?
His lips parted, but he didn’t ask.
He had a powerful premonition that the moment he asked, this peace between us would shatter.
In the end, what came out of his mouth wasn’t a question, but words of comfort.
“I’ll be waiting right here, so you can go with your mind at ease.”
“Uuuung…”
“Hmm…”
Her gloomy mood didn’t lift, and as I wondered how to soothe her, I remembered her first outing.
“In that case.”
“…Yesss…”
“Will you buy me a present?”
The face that had been buried in my chest peeked up to look at me.
“A present…?”
“Yes. A present.”
At the word “present,” her face turned bright red, and I could see she was thinking the same thing I was.
“Huuu…”
She buried her face in my chest again, and I could feel the heat radiating from her.
It was amusing to see her suddenly so shy, and I smiled before speaking again, pressing for an answer.
“Will you buy me one?”
“Ye-Yesss…!”
An affirmative answer came from my arms.
Had her mood improved a little? I could feel her toes, touching mine under the blanket, start to wiggle.
“Then we should sleep now. You need your strength for tomorrow, right?”
“Yesss…!”
After replying, she lifted her head again, met my eyes for a moment, then puckered her lips and pressed them against mine.
Peck.
A brief touch, and then her lips were gone. From a distance that filled my vision, she gave me a radiant smile and offered a quiet goodnight.
“G-Good night…”
“You too, Eun-ah. Sleep well.”
“Mm…”
I felt her give a short reply and snuggle into my arms. As I gently stroked her back and patted her, I could feel her breathing soften as she drifted off to sleep.
I glanced down and saw her face, her eyes closed peacefully in sleep.
She was going out.
In other words.
‘…I can find out.’
About this house. About her past.
*
There she was, dressed for her outing in the same way as before.
A hat pulled down low, a thick cardigan worn over her dress, and a mask that covered most of her face.
‘…I’m losing my mind.’
The very same outfit I once thought made her look like she was about to go hunt someone down now looked cute.
She looked like a terrified little herbivore. It seemed I was completely blinded by love.
‘…No, I need to get a grip.’
I had something to do.
Shaking off the thought, Dokyun smiled and spoke to Eun-ah.
“Have a safe trip.”
As Dokyun saw her off at the front door, Eun-ah’s head tilted up slightly, revealing teary eyes from beneath the brim of her hat.
The fact that she was already on the verge of tears again made me want to laugh. I opened my arms, and she rushed into them, clinging to me as if she truly couldn’t bear to be apart.
“Heeiing…”
“Now, now, you have to go.”
“Yesss…”
Her voice was limp.
With her head bowed, I lowered her mask and kissed her. The way she stared up at me with wide, round eyes was truly delightful.
“You have to buy me a present, right?”
I felt like a third-rate gigolo for emphasizing it so many times, and it felt pathetic, but Dokyun pushed that feeling down and smiled at Eun-ah.
Thankfully, the trick seemed to have worked. Her face brightened a little, and she nodded her head vigorously.
“Ye-Yesss…!”
After answering, she turned and began pressing the numbers of the passcode at the front door.
Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.
Halfway through opening the lock, she suddenly turned back to stare at me, her face once again crestfallen, which made me laugh one more time.
A slight smile on his face, Dokyun raised his right hand to wave her off. She returned a bright smile, gave another nod, and headed out.
She left through the front door, and it closed behind her.
Chime-!
Dokyun confirmed the door was shut, then opened his tightly clenched left fist and stared at the two keys resting on his palm.
A key with a clover-shaped handle and another with a simple round one.
‘The key to the study and…’
Most likely, the key to her workshop.
He hadn’t seen a key like this among the ones she used in her daily life, so it was probably the one.
After checking the keys, Dokyun clenched his fist tightly and steadied his breathing.
‘I have to check… I have to find out…’
His heart hammered in his chest. He was aware that he was doing something dangerous, but he felt he couldn’t go on living with these questions unanswered.
Suddenly, as he tried to calm himself, Dokyun felt a hollow laugh escape him.
In the end, even though his objective was different from the first time he’d held the keys, the place he needed to check was still the workshop.
‘Escape…’
Funnily enough, in the moment she opened the front door and left, the thought of checking the passcode hadn’t even crossed my mind.
My head was so full of thoughts about her that escape hadn’t occupied even a speck of my mind.
‘I do… have to get out, eventually.’
To the people outside, I had just vanished. There would be people worried about me.
Thinking of the outside world, his life before being confined here flashed through his mind, but the thought didn't last long.
‘More important than that.’
He wasn't sure if it was the right way to put it, but there was something more important.
Dokyun’s head turned toward the hallway behind the living room.
‘First… to the study.’
He had to check the rest of the diary he hadn’t been able to read.
His feet began to move, one step at a time.
Passing through the long living room, Dokyun entered the hallway and headed for the door on the inner left side. He stood before the study, took another deep breath, then inserted the key into the lock and opened the door.
Click-!
As he unlocked it and opened the door, the hinges let out a piercing shriek.
With a familiar motion, Dokyun entered the study and flipped the light switch on the wall.
Flick.
The surroundings were instantly flooded with light.
This time, he closed his eyes the moment the light came on to protect his vision.
Afterward, as Dokyun slowly opened his eyes, he saw the interior, completely unchanged from last time.
‘…Has she not been in here since then?’
He had considered the possibility that she might have suspected him and searched the house, but that didn't seem to be the case.
Bookshelves filled the space, packed with books. It was an overwhelming sight all over again.
His gaze momentarily stolen by the oppressive view, Dokyun squeezed his eyes shut to clear his head and approached his target bookshelf.
Thud. Thud.
The soft sound of his footsteps echoed as he approached the bookshelf. He knelt before it and stared for a moment at the familiar title.
[The Rusty Sword and the Hummingbird’s Tomb.]
The book that had gotten him into genre fiction.
He remembered the location perfectly, since the diary had been hidden right behind this book.
When he pulled the book out, the diary that had left him with such an unsettling feeling greeted him, looking exactly as it had before.
My hand reached out on its own, pulling out the yellowed diary and opening it.
As I brushed the cover, the same faded princess and unicorn stared back at me.
“Huuu…”
A breath escaped me.
Now, I had to see the part I hadn't been able to read.
Rustle-.
The soft sound of a page turning filled the air.
[Today, I hurt Mother again.]
It was the first sentence, one he had already read.
Dokyun’s hand quickly flipped past the pages he had already seen.
Several pages turned, and soon the diary continued with new content he hadn’t read.
[Today, Mother praised me.]
[Mother said thank you for being in pain for her.]
I had thought about it constantly.
Why? Why had that sentence bothered me so much?
[Today, I was in pain for Mother again. Mother smiled at me.]
‘For her…’
[I’m so happy, but my hands are crying.]
[Are these tears of joy?]
‘Tears from my hands.’
There was something that had been bothering him in the back of his mind.
The thoughts connected, and the fragmented pieces began to fit together.
‘Punishment, education, for her, tears.’
And.
‘Self-harm.’
The completed puzzle painted a single hypothesis.
Her mother…
‘That crazy bitch…’
She had ignored her daughter’s self-harm, and even encouraged it.
Squeeze-.
The hand holding the diary clenched tightly. His breathing grew ragged, and his teeth ground together, betraying his fury.
He turned the page once more.
[Mother praised me again today.]
[Today, I finished my book and didn’t disturb her work.]
[I’m so cold.]
My head grew hot. My heart began to pound even harder.
[Today, I made Mother sad.]
[But it’s okay. Because today, I can be in pain for her again.]
“Fuck…”
A curse slipped through his clenched teeth. His shoulders heaved with his ragged breaths.
The diary turned to the next page, and for a moment, Dokyun froze, his body filled with bewilderment at what he saw.
‘…It’s torn.’
A section of pages, probably about seven or eight, had been ripped out.
Only a single page remained after it.
Thump. Thump.
Dokyun calmed his violently trembling heart and slowly turned the page.
Flip.
When he turned the page, there was only a single word written there.
[Die.]
He couldn’t understand its meaning.
However.
‘…The handwriting is different.’
It was written in a rough, scrawled script, different from the round, neat handwriting of the previous pages.
Having reached the end, Dokyun closed the book and sighed.
‘What I’ve learned is…’
The fact that she had been abused.
‘…And the handwriting on the last page.’
The mystery only deepened.
The fact that she had been abused made his heart ache, but the diary's contents were too fragmented to deduce any certain facts.
As he was sighing like that.
‘…?’
A sense of wrongness. A feeling he couldn’t quite explain washed over him.
Again, he opened the diary to the first page.
[Today, I hurt Mother again.]
Nothing.
[Mother held me tight.]
Nothing.
[I’m so cold.]
Nothing.
[Now I can be in pain for her.]
Nothing.
[I am happy.]
Nothing.
With a trembling hand, he checked the last page of the diary one more time.
[Die.]
‘…It’s not here.’
Throughout the entire diary, any mention of her sister…
‘Not a single line…’
Was missing.
‘How?’
Her father? It was possible he wasn't around. Single-parent households weren't that rare.
‘But…’
Her sister, whose existence had been confirmed by her own lips. Her sister, who was clearly still alive, who seemed to be close to her.
‘Not even a single line…’
The fact that she wasn’t mentioned in the diary.
‘Does that make any sense?’
Thump. Thump.
His heart began to hammer again.
A tremor that started in his fingertips began to consume his entire body.
His head, which had been burning with rage, turned ice-cold in an instant.
‘Something is wrong.’
Just as he was feeling that…
“What are you doing?”
A voice came from behind him.