Chapter 123
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 123
Dokyun let out a small laugh as he watched Eun-chae, who had finally fallen asleep, her shoulders rising and falling with each breath.
Thankfully, Eun-chae loved the fairy tales.
…Actually, she loved them a lot.
As if reading all ten books wasn’t enough, Eun-chae had pestered him to reread her favorites over and over, putting him in a difficult spot.
Reading itself wasn’t the problem, but she would pepper him with a constant stream of tricky questions, just like when he’d read her the story of the disobedient Green Frog. How could he not be at a loss for words?
Letting out a low groan at the memory, Dokyun carefully laid Eun-chae down on the sofa and stood up.
It was dinnertime. He had to prepare a meal.
What should I feed her…
The question weighed on him.
Nearly two weeks had passed, and in that time, he’d learned that taking care of someone’s meals was no simple task.
It was a chore to think of a different dish every time so she wouldn’t get bored. It was a chore to consider the nutritional balance. And it was a chore to force her to eat when she got picky about the side dishes.
Dokyun let out a soft sigh, then glanced back at Eun-chae and chuckled again.
He never thought he’d learn the hardships of raising a child before he even got married.
I gave her meat last time, so I should focus on vegetables now…
But a worry crept into his mind: what if she just picks at her food before running off to the aquarium again?
After mulling it over for a while, Dokyun let out a short breath and headed for the kitchen, massaging his stiff neck.
He could figure out how to get her to eat when the time came. For now, he had to make the food before she woke up.
*
Eun-chae woke up just as the meal he’d prepared was being placed on the table.
Seeing her shoot up in surprise, Dokyun worried something was wrong and rushed over to the sofa, checking her expression as he asked, “What’s wrong? Are you not feeling well?”
“Huh?”
Seeing Eun-chae looking around blankly, Dokyun’s face filled with concern.
A cold sweat had beaded on her forehead. A faint tremor traveled through the hand he placed on her cheek.
Anyone could see she wasn’t well. As Dokyun stroked her face, Eun-chae caught her breath and looked up at him.
“Honeybee wasn’t there.”
“Huh?”
When Dokyun tilted his head at her words, Eun-chae leaned her head against him and continued, as if muttering to herself.
“I was in a strange place, but Honeybee wasn’t there.”
Her words were a little cryptic, but Dokyun understood their meaning at once.
“You must have had a dream.”
“A dream?”
Tilt. Seeing Eun-chae’s head lean to the side, Dokyun sat down next to her and patted her back.
“Yeah, a dream. Um, it’s like a thought you have while you’re sleeping.”
“You can think while you’re sleeping?”
The question made Dokyun let out a small groan.
How was he supposed to explain this?
His own knowledge was too shallow to explain what a dream was in a way Eun-chae could understand.
He hesitated, his lips parting and closing, before adding a slightly simplified explanation.
“Well, you just had a dream, right? A dream is a thought you have without even realizing it, and that’s why it feels so real.”
“Oh…”
Dokyun let out a small sigh of relief as Eun-chae nodded, seeming to understand. He then asked another question.
“So what did you dream about that made you look so pale?”
“…A dream where Honeybee wasn’t there.”
Her words were still vague.
As Dokyun tilted his head again, Eun-chae scrunched up her face as if trying to recall the memory, then added an explanation.
“It was really painful, and really sad, but Honeybee wasn’t there. So I looked for Honeybee, but I couldn’t see you…”
Eun-chae trailed off, her lips parting again. She narrowed her brow and slowly continued.
“…So I was scared.”
So she had a nightmare.
Just as Dokyun was thinking of what to say, Eun-chae spoke once more.
“And… Eun-ah was there.”
“…Huh?”
At her next words, his fingertips trembled slightly.
Eun-ah.
His body had reacted to the name before he even realized it.
Eun-chae furrowed her brow, trying to recall the dream’s contents, before adding a more detailed explanation.
“Eun-ah was sleeping. It’s cold if you sleep on the floor, so I tried to wake her up, but she wouldn’t get up. I kept trying, but she still wouldn’t wake up.”
Dokyun’s mouth opened and closed.
He wanted to ask for more details.
Something was coming to mind.
If this wasn’t just a simple dream but a manifestation of her subconscious, if Eun-ah had truly fallen into a deep sleep… The thought made his heart plummet.
He hesitated for a moment, but seeing Eun-chae’s shallow breaths, he forced himself to swallow the questions that rose in his mind.
Asking her about it now would be a bad move.
She already looked so anxious.
Dokyun patted Eun-chae’s back, took a deep breath, and pushed away his rising unease.
In a way, he had expected this.
What was the situation like the last time he’d seen Eun-ah? Hadn’t she hidden away, passing control to Eun-byeol the moment she was forced to confront the gap in her memory?
The stress must have been immense.
Perhaps, just as in the dream, she really had fallen asleep deep within her subconscious.
He knew the solution.
It was something he had always kept in mind, a method he had heard so many times it was now etched into his brain.
…Eun-chae’s integration.
If they integrated Eun-chae, Eun-ah would return.
Dokyun looked at Eun-chae, who was now nestled in his arms, her eyes gently closed.
He knew it. He knew it was what he had to do, but not yet.
…Just a little longer.
He wanted more time.
He wanted a more satisfying farewell, not one rushed by a deadline like this.
He knew it might be selfish of him.
He knew it might be unfair to Eun-ah, and to Eun-seol.
And yet, the reason he swallowed his impatience was that he had already grown attached to Eun-chae.
Dokyun steadied his wavering heart, forced a smile onto his lips, and spoke to her.
“You just had a bad dream.”
“Huh?”
Eun-chae lifted her head. Looking into her blank eyes, Dokyun made a slightly mischievous face and continued playfully.
“It’s your punishment for only eating meat.”
Flinch.
Seeing her flinch at his words, Dokyun let out a small laugh and gently stroked her hair.
“So you have to eat your vegetables too, right?”
At his words, Eun-chae’s lips pressed into a firm line.
He could see her firm resolve to continue being a picky eater, which almost made him laugh. But then, Eun-chae glanced at the dining table, narrowed her brow, and gave a slight nod.
*
A few more days passed.
Since that day, Eun-chae began having nightmares more frequently.
Whether in the middle of the night or during a nap, she would wake from a nightmare, shake him awake, and bury her head in his arms.
Why is this happening? The thought had crossed Dokyun’s mind until, belatedly, he realized a possibility.
This was probably a sign that Eun-ah and Eun-chae were separating.
Eun-seol had told him once.
The reason Eun-chae had never been separated from Eun-ah before was because Eun-chae had thought of herself as Eun-ah.
That was why Eun-chae could be identified as one and the same within Eun-ah’s delusion.
Based on that, the previously stagnant process of separation was now underway because Eun-chae no longer thought of herself as Eun-ah.
All things considered, it was a good sign.
The moment Eun-ah and Eun-chae were completely separated would be the moment Eun-ah’s delusion ended. There was no reason for it to be a bad thing.
And yet, even though this was the moment he had been waiting for, the reason his heart felt so heavy had to be because of Eun-chae, who was just now beginning to understand the world.
The moment the separation was complete, Eun-seol would try to delete Eun-chae.
That was because Eun-seol didn’t know Eun-chae’s current situation.
Since Eun-chae was a personality outside of Eun-seol’s control, Eun-seol couldn’t know what was happening on the outside when Eun-chae was present.
Dokyun wanted to persuade Eun-seol. He wanted to give Eun-chae a chance to live a little longer, even after the separation was complete.
So, Dokyun came up with a plan. After days of deliberation, even sacrificing sleep, he thought of a surprisingly simple method.
‘Ask Eun-chae to call out Eun-seol.’
He would persuade Eun-seol now, at this very moment, while Eun-chae was not yet fully separated and he still had a chance to intervene.
It wasn't an impossible plan.
If Eun-chae could summon Eun-seol through a method other than self-harm, that act alone would prove a great deal.
It would show that Eun-chae was no longer a danger. It would show that Eun-chae was changing.
And with that, he could create the grounds to persuade Eun-seol.
Dokyun lowered his gaze to Eun-chae, who was sitting on his lap, looking at a picture book.
He had been in the middle of reading to her.
The Ugly Duckling.
Eun-chae was particularly fond of this story and pestered him to read it every single day.
When he asked what she liked so much about it, Eun-chae would think for a moment before simply answering, “Just because.”
Whenever he heard that answer, Dokyun would stroke her head and let out a soft laugh.
How could he not understand?
It’s only natural for there to be no reason for liking something.
Something good is just… good.
You could list countless reasons why, but none of them could be the fundamental answer to that feeling of ‘good,’ could they?
It’s simply that your heart is moved, that something settles perfectly into it, and all the elements that make it up become the reasons for ‘good.’
Eun-chae had finally learned a healthy form of affirmation.
He couldn’t let it end like this.
He had to persuade Eun-seol. Not just for Eun-chae’s sake, but for his own as well.
Dokyun closed the book he’d finished reading, took a deep breath, and spoke to Eun-chae.
“Hey.”
“Hm?”
Eun-chae’s gaze turned to him.
Dokyun looked at her as she tilted her head blankly. His lips parted, then he took another breath and continued.
“…Could you call Eun-seol for me?”
She wouldn’t ask who Eun-seol was.
Eun-chae knew who Eun-seol was better than anyone in the world.
How could she not? She was the one who had always put the brakes on her. It was impossible for Eun-chae not to know.
Tension began to creep into his body.
Dokyun watched Eun-chae flinch at his words.
She hesitated, unable to meet his gaze, her eyes darting around the room. Then, she gripped the hem of his shirt tightly and managed to speak.
“Does that mean… I have to go to sleep again?”
The words were blurted out, as if dropped.
Dokyun instantly understood what Eun-chae meant by ‘sleep.’
It had to mean sinking into the subconscious.
He could understand her anxiety.
How could it be pleasant? Who would enjoy going into a sleep with no promised end, with no idea when they would wake up?
Dokyun watched Eun-chae, who was radiating anxiety with her entire body. He set down the book in his hand and wrapped her in a tight hug.
“No, this time it’ll be very short.”
Pat. Pat.
Patting her back, Dokyun then pressed his forehead against hers and continued in a soft, gentle tone.
“It’s because I want to spend more time with you, because I want to go more places with you, that we have to be apart for just a little while.”
“Just a little while?”
“Yes, just a little while. You’ll just fall asleep for a tiny bit, and then you’ll wake up again.”
As he spoke, Dokyun felt the trembling in Eun-chae’s body slowly subside. He stroked her cheek and continued.
“When you wake up again, should we make sandwiches?”
Eun-chae’s lips parted.
Staring at him blankly, she gripped his shirt tightly and replied.
“Lots of meat?”
At her response, Dokyun let out a quiet chuckle and nodded.
“Yes, a whole lot.”
So much that it won’t fit in one bite, he thought as he looked at her. Finally, Eun-chae gave a small nod.
“When I wake up, we’ll be together again?”
“Yes, we’ll be together again.”
“Okay…”
She nodded one more time.
Immediately after, she pulled away from Dokyun’s embrace, moved to sit beside him, and closed her eyes, falling silent.
Her breathing continued softly, and then her body went limp.
Dokyun watched her, swallowing his nervousness.
When the eyes opened again, the one moving the body was Eun-seol.