Chapter 121
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 121
I looked at the brightly smiling Honeybee and thought.
Honeybee was looking at ‘me.’
He was always looking at ‘me.’
I wasn’t sure what this ‘me’ was, but I realized one thing for certain: Honeybee wasn’t looking at ‘Eun-ah,’ he was looking at ‘me.’
‘Me’ was reflected in Honeybee’s eyes.
The moment I realized it, my heart began to pound painfully without me even knowing. It ached from being squeezed so tight, yet it felt good. And so, I understood.
So, I’m not Eun-ah.
I was not Honeybee’s ‘Eun-ah.’ I was Honeybee’s ‘me.’
Honeybee doesn’t think of me as ‘Eun-ah.’
No, that can’t be right. I am ‘Eun-ah.’ Even as the thought surfaced, it somehow didn’t feel unpleasant.
…No.
It felt good.
The heat spreading from my chest with every thump was definitely the feeling of ‘good.’ Honeybee had taught me so. This was ‘good.’
Today, yesterday, and the day before, to Honeybee, I was ‘me.’
The one who watched the carp with him was ‘me.’ The one who made sandwiches was ‘me.’ And the one with him in this very moment is ‘me.’
“You know…”
“Hm?”
My lips parted on their own, starting a conversation.
“Since I’m me, it’s okay if I don’t have to hurt, right?”
The question popped out. And in return, an answer came back.
“Of course.”
His reply made my chest grow hot. It fluttered a little, and felt soft.
When I raised the corners of my mouth, the me inside Honeybee’s eyes moved her face.
I loved that expression on Honeybee’s face so much that I wanted to copy it exactly, so I moved my own face.
But when I did, the expression I made was strange.
That was a little upsetting, so this time I furrowed my brow slightly. Honeybee pressed his finger between my eyebrows.
The finger that pressed between my brows slid straight up, and then his hands touched my cheeks, pressing into them.
My lips puckered out, and seeing that, Honeybee chuckled.
“A little later. You’ll be able to do it a little later.”
“Later.”
“Yes, later.”
Looking at Honeybee as he said that, my heart pounded.
It was something I always thought, but Honeybee was so bright and warm that just looking at him like this made my chest feel incredibly hot.
I kept staring at him, and he gently stroked the top of my head before speaking.
“Shall we go somewhere else now? I heard they have whales here, too.”
“I saw the whales.”
“Not dolphins, a real whale.”
“Huh?”
I didn’t quite understand what he meant, so I tilted my head. Honeybee smiled strangely again and took my hand.
“You’ll be shocked when you see it.”
Honeybee said that as I stared at my hand, feeling our fingers intertwine.
I didn’t know what it was, but Honeybee always told the truth, so I had a feeling I’d be truly amazed if I followed him.
*
There was a tank several times larger than the others. An unusual number of people were gathered there, their gazes fixed on one thing.
It’s huge.
Dokyun let out a gasp of admiration as he looked at the whale that filled his entire field of vision.
At a glance, it looked to be well over fifteen meters long. Its long, streamlined body radiated an indescribable sense of pressure.
He was lucky.
They said they were temporarily caring for it for treatment.
He’d found out while searching online to book tickets for the aquarium.
After seeing an article that this aquarium was treating a dying whale, he had bypassed another, much closer aquarium and booked tickets for this one instead.
It was worth the trouble.
Really, when else would he get a chance to see a whale if not for an opportunity like this?
As Dokyun watched the whale swim through the tank, a sense of satisfaction filling his chest, he shifted his gaze to Eun-chae.
She had worn a dazed expression throughout their time at the aquarium, but Dokyun thought her current expression was the absolute masterpiece.
She’s going to start drooling.
Pfft. A laugh escaped him.
Her mouth, which had been slowly parting, was now hanging wide open, and her eyes were wider than he had ever seen them before.
Her body was frozen stiff. When he poked her in the side with his fingertip, she didn’t even flinch. It seemed every ounce of her attention was focused over there.
Finding her appearance utterly comical, Dokyun once again took out his smartphone and took a picture.
Click.
The shutter sound rang out, and only then did Eun-chae flinch, turning her gaze toward Dokyun.
“A picture?”
“Yeah, a picture.”
When Dokyun replied, Eun-chae nodded and turned her gaze back to the whale.
Her mouth fell open again in a daze.
She must really love fish. The thought crossed Dokyun’s mind as he let out a long breath and looked back at the whale.
Might as well get a good look while they were here.
*
Although he had come to the aquarium for Eun-chae, it had been a very satisfying outing for Dokyun as well.
He much preferred this kind of activity—walking slowly and looking at things—to more active ones.
He liked the overall quiet atmosphere, and Eun-chae’s reactions had been great.
What better reward was there than seeing someone react so vividly to something you’d prepared?
Having finished the tour in a rather pleasant mood, Dokyun let out a hollow laugh at the parade of gift shops spread out near the exit.
Right, this is how they get you.
After you’ve had a great time looking at everything, they shove a gift shop in your face, making you feel like you have to buy something.
Watching the little kids clutching souvenirs and throwing tantrums at their parents, Dokyun thought that if he had come with Eun-ji, his wallet might have been completely empty by now.
That was followed by a nightmare vision of the holidays.
Dokyun, who had shuddered at the thought, stopped walking when Eun-chae suddenly came to a halt.
Wondering what was wrong, he turned his eyes and saw Eun-chae, her gaze stolen by the ornamental fish that filled one entire wall of the gift shop.
Her mouth was hanging open again.
A sense of slight trouble washed over Dokyun as he mentally calculated his bank balance.
Minus the money I moved to my savings account, minus what I put into stocks…
The money he’d received from Eun-seol, lost to crypto, and then recovered had all been put into savings, so he was a bit short on cash.
He hesitated for a moment, but after watching Eun-chae unable to tear her eyes away from the colorful fish, he squeezed his eyes shut and made a decision.
What was the big deal? One little souvenir would be fine, wouldn’t it?
His stomach churned a little, but seeing her so interested, Dokyun thought it would be good to buy her something. He spoke to Eun-chae.
“Should we buy one?”
“Huh?”
Seeing her tilt her head at his words, he wondered, Wasn’t she looking because she wanted one? But then he saw Eun-chae’s gaze return to the fish, and he let out a small laugh and added.
“Want to try raising one?”
“Raise one?”
“Yeah, the house is a bit bleak. I think having an aquarium would be nice.”
After he finished speaking, Eun-chae looked back and forth between the fish and Dokyun before finally, after a long moment, nodding her head.
“Okay.”
An affirmative answer. Dokyun gave another small laugh and nodded back.
After that, they chose the fish, chose the tank, and chose all the equipment that would go inside. After paying, Dokyun looked at the receipt and felt his stomach clench.
…Wow.
It felt like his flesh was being carved away.
As a sense of lament began to rise, Dokyun soothed his aching gut by looking at Eun-chae, who was practically radiating excitement.
Right, if she’s happy, that’s all that matters.
If the result is good, then it’s all good, right?
Just as he was thinking that and about to head outside, Dokyun’s body jumped at a loud shout that suddenly echoed through the gift shop.
“BUY IT FOR MEEEEEE!!!”
The sound reverberated everywhere. Dokyun turned his head to see a little kid doing windmills on the floor and his parents standing beside him, at a complete loss.
It was clearly a scene of a child throwing a tantrum.
…You have it rough.
The grim reality of marriage was right there.
“BUY IT FOR MEEEEEE!!!”
The shout rang out again. As Dokyun let out a few hollow laughs at the sight, Eun-chae, who was watching beside him, asked him a question.
“Is he a bad child?”
At her question, Dokyun’s gaze turned to Eun-chae.
She tilted her head as she asked. Dokyun let out a small laugh, nodded slightly, and answered.
“Hmm, I guess so?”
“Then does he have to be punished?”
The question followed as a matter of course.
Dokyun hummed in thought before parting his lips slightly.
“I guess so?”
Dokyun answered, but then, thinking that this explanation alone wasn't enough, he turned his gaze back to the aspiring b-boy and continued.
“But hurting him still isn’t good.”
“Why?”
“Because today’s events would be left as a bad memory.”
To be honest, in situations like this, corporal punishment was often more effective.
However, Dokyun wanted Eun-chae to learn a different way. He met her eyes and continued in a gentle tone.
“At times like this, you should hug him tight and calmly explain why he shouldn’t act this way.”
“But that’s not a punishment.”
Dokyun felt a little troubled by her response.
It was true that calling it a punishment was a bit of a stretch.
“But being hurt is sad, isn’t it?”
“But punishments are supposed to hurt.”
“You don’t necessarily have to punish someone by hurting them.”
“Huh?”
Dokyun smiled slightly at Eun-chae, who was furrowing her brow and showing her confusion, and continued.
“Hurting someone you love is a very sad thing. Right?”
“Yes.”
“Usually, when the moment comes that you have to punish someone you love, you try to think of a way that won’t hurt them.”
There were many ways besides inflicting pain. That was the meaning behind his words.
Dokyun hoped Eun-chae would learn more things.
Eun-chae was Eun-ah’s past, Eun-ah’s pain. Wasn’t it time she learned something other than pain?
Dokyun filled his voice with that sentiment and asked Eun-chae a question.
“How was today?”
“…It was good.”
She answered, nodding her head.
A deep smile spread across Dokyun’s lips as he continued.
“It was probably the same for that kid. Just like it was for you, just like it was for me. That kid probably had a really fun day today, too.”
Eun-chae’s gaze shifted back to the child rolling on the floor.
Watching her, Dokyun added an explanation.
“But in this moment, if he receives a painful punishment because of that behavior, all the good memories from today will end on a bad note. For that child, today will become a painful memory.”
Of course, when that kid grew up, he would understand why he had to be hurt and how immature he had been.
He might even look back on this day as an adult and chuckle.
However, that was not an appropriate addendum to help Eun-chae, who never even had the chance to learn such things, understand.
“So, to make sure the good moments of today remain beautiful, and so that the warmth of being gently corrected is what’s remembered, it’s better to hug him tight, right?”
“…Yes.”
Seeing Eun-chae nod, Dokyun gave a small shrug, then turned his body and continued.
“Shall we go now? It’s about time we head home and eat.”
“Okay.”
Eun-chae said, then looked back one last time at where the child was.
There, the parents were now holding the child, patting his back and soothing him.
Just as Honeybee said, maybe that child will take home a happy memory today.
As I was thinking that.
“So, what do you want for dinner?”
Honeybee asked.
I turned my gaze back to Honeybee, looked at his smiling face, and answered.
“Meat.”
At my answer, Honeybee smiled again and nodded his head.