Chapter 12
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 12
It was different. Different from any expression Dokyun had seen on her face all day. Different from the glistening eyes that had filled him with fear, and different from the pained grimace she made when she had her fits.
If I had to find the right words for it, her eyes were like those you’d see if you peeled back the eyelids of a corpse. They were utterly vacant. They reflected nothing and felt nothing.
Just looking into them felt like the entire world was being bleached into a grayscale void, my senses dulling. Those eyes seemed to drain the warmth and pulse from the body that was holding me, making me feel as if I were being embraced by a corpse.
A brief silence. In the face of this bizarre, unprecedented expression, Dokyun’s thoughts came to a halt. He remained frozen for a moment before her voice struck his ear once more.
“I asked if you saw…”
He flinched.
The vibration of the air piercing his ear jolted him back to his senses. This was no time to be spacing out. This was dangerous. More dangerous than all the other crises he had faced today combined. His survival instinct screamed at him, desperately urging him to squeeze out an excuse, and fast.
Finally, Dokyun’s mouth opened.
“Saw what?”
The words slipped out clumsily, without a thought behind them. Eun-ah’s pupils narrowed. A strange terror seized Dokyun, as if his neck were caught in her irises, tightening with every millimeter they constricted. His mind raced, frantically trying to piece together an excuse.
‘I didn’t know? I didn’t move? The cabinet door must have swung open when the main door opened and closed?’
Pathetic. They were just excuses, plain and simple. He needed something else, a different breakthrough that could turn the situation around.
“Honeybee…?”
Her prodding intensified his urgency.
Think. Just think.
His thoughts expanded. In a corner of his mind, he replayed the moments after her strange behavior had begun, right when her fit had stopped. Laughter. Sadness. Tears. Comfort. Fragmented scenes flickered past him. Suddenly, a flash of light. The mechanism that stopped her fits was…
‘After she herself is satisfied, or…’
When my own injuries cross a certain line.
Within his expanding thoughts, Dokyun saw the moment she had cut her own wrist. While muttering like a madwoman and clawing at her own skin with her nails, she had mumbled something the moment blood had burst forth.
—Ah, blood.
Dokyun’s eyes lit up. He thought he saw a way out. His gaze shifted to her. He furrowed his brows, feigning distress. Beneath them, his eyes drooped at the corners, etched with gloom. A smooth, well-oiled sentence spilled from his lips.
“Actually… I did see. I’m sorry…”
The moment he spoke, her eyes stared into his, so intensely it felt like they would gouge his own out. He wanted to shut his eyes and look away, but he couldn’t let her gaze leave his face.
“Earlier… before I brushed my teeth, I mean, after we ate, you gave me my punishment, didn’t you?”
He continued slowly, borrowing her own terminology. After fixing her gaze on his lips, he moved his hand, which was out of her line of sight. The gash was on his left wrist. Dokyun moved his right hand and placed his fingers over it.
“And then… you treated it for me, but the wound must have opened up while you went to wash up…”
He put all his strength into his right hand, squeezing his left wrist as if to crush it.
Squeeze—.
It was a sound only he could hear. And indeed, she showed no reaction to the gruesome noise. He had to maintain his expression. He couldn’t show the pain. The face he needed to make right now was that of a small child confessing a misdeed to his parents.
“So it started bleeding… I was trying to find some ointment, but…”
Her eyes followed his. He lifted both wrists to show her the damp bandage.
“I was trying to grab the ointment when I heard you coming, so I got scared and rushed back to bed… I’m sorry for lying.”
He squeezed out a whimper. He thought of something sad. It wasn’t difficult. All he had to do was let the misery that was swallowing him whole at this very moment show on his face.
Silence followed Dokyun’s words. A long, drawn-out silence. Then, Eun-ah’s lowered head slowly rose again.
“Hiiiing…”
A whimpering cry. Tears welled up in her eyes, reflecting the light. There she was, on the verge of weeping.
“Ah… that must hurt so much…”
Muttering through a tear-streaked face, Eun-ah sat up.
“J-Just a second…”
Stretching her body, she reached over the side of the bed and grabbed a bandage and medicine.
“I-I’ll put some medicine on it for you, q-quickly…”
Fumbling but moving with purpose, Eun-ah began to unwrap the damp, stuck-on bandage from Dokyun’s wrist and treat the wound. Dokyun’s gaze fell to his own wrist.
It’s a fucking mess.
The skin, which had already been peeled back, was now completely mangled from the pressure he had applied. As he examined the wound, a sudden wave of pain washed over him as Eun-ah applied disinfectant.
“Hk!”
“Ah… does it hurt?”
“I’m… okay.”
“J-Just bear with it a little longer…”
“Okay…”
He answered, gritting his teeth. Dokyun looked at Eun-ah. She was completely focused on treating his wound. It seemed she had already forgotten all about their conversation from moments ago.
He let out a sigh of relief. He had cleared the biggest hurdle. But a poison so crudely contained was bound to seep out again someday. He had to ride the momentum and end this for good.
“Eun-ah-ssi?”
“Yes…?”
Her gaze, which had been fixed on his wound, drifted up to meet his. She stared at him with an innocent expression, as if she knew nothing. Dokyun mirrored her, crafting a look of sparkling curiosity as he spoke again.
“By the way… was there something else in there? I was in such a hurry to find the medicine that I didn’t see anything else.”
For a moment, Eun-ah’s expression seemed to cloud over, but an instant later, it brightened as if nothing had happened, and she replied.
“Ah… no! There was nothing, so d-don’t worry about it…!”
“Aha, okay.”
After speaking, Eun-ah lowered her head again and continued treating the wound.
That should put her at ease for now.
He had erased most of her suspicion. Dokyun let some of his tension melt away and belatedly replayed the situation in his mind.
That was the most dangerous moment of the entire day.
He could say that with certainty. Her face had been so bizarre he couldn’t even describe it, but his instincts had sounded the alarm before his mind could even process the situation. They had let out a piercing scream, telling him this was truly dangerous.
What… what is in there?
The thing that had triggered her strange reaction. What was it?
Condoms?
No. The woman he’d seen would have pounced on him with glee if she knew he’d found them, not squeezed the life out of him. It obviously wasn’t clothes, medicine, or the lamp. That left…
The notebook, the picture frame.
The things she was trying to hide from him. The things I wasn’t supposed to know.
Clues.
Clues to his escape. He had to see them. As Dokyun was lost in thought, Eun-ah, having finished the treatment, spoke up.
“A-All done…!”
At the sound of her voice, Dokyun’s gaze returned to his wrist. He saw a neatly wrapped bandage. It was a remarkably skilled treatment.
Makes sense, considering how often she cuts her own wrists.
The skill was perfectly understandable. Hiding his inner thoughts, Dokyun put on a smile and thanked her.
“Thank you. It feels much better.”
“Hehe…”
Her shy smile looked genuinely happy. Whenever he praised her or complimented her, she would smile like that, expressing her happiness. If he kept that in mind, he could probably avoid fits like the one today.
“N-Now, should we really g-go to sleep?” she asked, already starting to yawn, as if she were sleepy again despite having napped all day.
“Yes. It’s getting late… is it late?”
“Mhm… it’s time to sleep now…”
She never gave him a specific time. Not knowing the flow of time was frustrating. Just as a flicker of irritation began to rise, her urging voice came again.
“Now… l-lie down…”
Shiver—.
The way she said it with a faint blush on her cheeks sounded like it had another meaning, which was a little scary. Forcing his true feelings down, Dokyun smiled and replied.
“Haha… okay…”
As soon as he lay down, the strap once again wrapped around his waist. Then, she lay down beside him, her arm reaching out to embrace his chest.
What am I, her body pillow?
Perhaps the saying that humans are creatures of habit was true. Unlike the first time her hand touched him, when it felt like his entire body was having a seizure, he could now tolerate her arm wrapped around his chest.
Letting out a short sigh, Dokyun looked at Eun-ah, whose eyelids were fluttering with sleepiness, and remembered something he had forgotten.
Come to think of it, how did she even find me?
No matter how much he thought about it, he couldn’t understand this part. They obviously didn’t know each other. In the first place, his intimidating appearance meant he could count the number of women he’d ever interacted with on one hand.
Ah, fuck… I think I’m gonna cry.
A wave of depression washed over him at the thought that the first woman in his life to ever like him was this psycho. Did I sell my country in a past life? My luck with women was beyond nonexistent.
Shit… no, that’s not it.
He had to get back on topic. Shaking off the stray thoughts, Dokyun continued his line of reasoning. He had to know how she found him. There was no guarantee she wouldn’t just find him again after he escaped.
And it’s not like she’ll be caught immediately if I report her to the police.
She wasn’t an idiot. She would know that the first thing I’d do if I escaped was call the police. He had to consider the possibility that she would hide and then snatch him up again, so first, he needed to know how she had found him.
Should I try to fish for it?
His eyes rolled over to look at her. She looked extremely sleepy.
In that state, it might be okay to gently probe for information.
Drowsiness clouds judgment. It bypasses suspicion and deeper meanings, making one accept words at face value. It felt a little soon, but it was a chance worth taking.
…I can’t put it off.
He wanted to escape as soon as possible. He had to gather every clue he could, as quickly as he could.
The thought was long, but the action was swift. Dokyun’s mouth opened and he called her name.
“Eun-ah-ssi?”
“…Yeees…”
The reply came a beat late. She seemed to be on the verge of sleep. Without letting his guard down, Dokyun began to construct his sentence, choosing his words as carefully as possible.
“You must have gone to so much trouble to find me… If I’d known you were looking, I would have come to you myself…”
“…Mmm… it… wasn’t hard… I asked for help…”
Asked for help? Does she have an accomplice?
His mind snapped awake as he added a new possibility to the list.
An accomplice.
It was a possibility he had ruled out. He had assumed there wouldn’t be an accomplice since the purpose of the kidnapping was her own personal satisfaction.
What would they gain from kidnapping me with her?
He needed more, much more information. With that thought, Dokyun summoned the gentlest voice he could and asked her again.
“Really? Can you tell me how? I’m curious.”
“…Yeees…”
Still that one-beat delay. Finally, fragmented words spilled from her lips.
“Ha… hacker… asked… internet… tr-traces… lots of them… so… e-easy to find…”
Muttering that much, Eun-ah could no longer fight off her drowsiness and fell asleep in an instant. Dokyun, who had been listening to her story, let out a sigh mixed with the emptiness of getting an answer so absurdly easily and the regret that followed.
“Ah.”
A hacker. So.
All my shitposting on community forums made me so easy to track.
He squeezed his eyes shut. A certain person suddenly came to mind.
Ferguson. You were right.
Today, of all days, he found himself missing the man who had uttered the famous words, “SNS is a waste of life.”