Chapter 1
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 1
My precious little novel died.
It was lunchtime. I was finishing up a mediocre meal at the company cafeteria when I checked my phone and saw the notice.
[I apologize for having to greet you with this kind of news...
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...For these reasons, I am no longer able to continue the serialization. Once again, I am truly sorry...]
“Fucker...”
Haaaah.
A cloud of smoke drifted from my lips, carrying my sigh into the air.
“Son of a bitch.”
It had started out so well. A few favorites and comments were all it took for him to leave a long, grateful reply and start uploading multiple chapters a day.
A week later, maybe? The first sign of abandonment. He posted the classic, “I’m having trouble writing lately T.T,” so I sent him a generous donation, 500 coins worth.
“Shit... 50,000 won is a whole carton of cigarettes...”
But at that moment, I didn’t regret it at all.
Then, four days after that, right before chapter 20, his chapter length was suddenly cut in half. I declared that I’d write a review if he reached 30 chapters, giving him another round of coddling.
“He said he was grateful... said he’d keep going, just for me...”
The long-awaited 30th chapter. After leaving a congratulatory comment, I went straight to the community forums and spent six hours crafting a 5,700-character review. The review hit the ‘best’ list, and new readers started pouring in by the thousands. I thought the novel was finally going to see the light of day.
CRACK!
My fist, clenched without me even realizing it, slammed down on the bench in the smoking lounge.
“Those goddamn fucking pests...”
Yeah, the pests. Those motherfuckers ruined everything.
-The writing is a mess... I'm dropping this. Maybe the author should try manual labor instead~
-Boring as fuck... Dropped.
-Wow... the plot consistency is fucked... lol. Dropped.
They started tearing the novel apart with this nonsense, and then they started shitting all over it on the forums.
Title: A Short Review of Conquering Another World with Sex.
It's a piece of shit, so run away... (cough)
>-Goddess of Ang-Gimotti: lol... is it that bad?
>-Farting Daughter-in-Law: Must be pretty terrible;
>-Samba-Dancing Simba: Dropped it immediately, thx thx
Did I give up there? No way.
It was a long, drawn-out war. I fought back against every single malicious comment, waging war on those fucking pests.
>A mess? LMAO The only thing that's a mess is the inside of your nostrils... T.T Please trim your nose hair!
>Boring as fuck? You mean your mother's life raising you?
>Plot consistency is fucked? Are you illiterate? He's been building up Feminia since chapter 3, what bullshit lol. The only thing that's fucked is your life~
Personal attacks, attacks on their parents. I didn’t hold back. Nothing could stop the rage boiling in my head.
After that, I dug up the pests' entire post histories, IPs, and personal info, publicly crucifying them, and somehow managed to save the novel.
And so, I thought everything was back on track.
“Shit. Fucking sunfish.”
Perhaps the stress had gotten to him. His upload schedule became erratic for a while, and then, not long after, he posted the discontinuation notice and spectacularly died.
Haaaah.
“If you're going to make an excuse, at least make it a good one...”
1 PM, 9 PM, 3 AM. This was a guy who would upload a chapter the second he finished it, no matter the time. And now he was saying, ‘I’m discontinuing due to my busy main job?’ Any stray dog could tell you his main job was being a shut-in.
‘Thank you for your support?’ Is this how someone who's thankful acts? Discontinuing the series and running away?
“If you’re thankful, you should repay me with more chapters...”
There were still donations I hadn’t sent, illustrations waiting to be completed, reviews I hadn’t written...
My eyes started to get moist. I wasn't even this sad when my first love dumped me.
Dokyun’s whole body twisted with the sense of loss from the sudden breakup, but his long experience as a ‘Deep Sea diver’ helped him regain his composure.
“Shit... I loved you, you bastard... Make sure you use a different pen name for your next work...”
If I ever found him, I would unleash the full, unbridled grudge of a betrayed purist.
As Dokyun stewed in his cold fury, the door to the rooftop smoking lounge opened, and a familiar figure approached.
Assistant Manager Jeong Myeong-dae from his department.
“Assistant Manager Chae! There you are!”
“Huh? Were you looking for me?”
“Of course!”
Spotting Dokyun, Myeong-dae let out a sigh of relief, hurried over, and began to complain in an irate tone.
“You know those documents I submitted this morning?”
“The quarterly sales report?”
“Ah, yes! That one!”
This guy doesn’t even know what documents he submitted?
Dokyun somehow managed to suppress a scoff and listened to Jeong Myeong-dae’s whining.
To sum it up, there had been an error in the documents he submitted, he’d gotten chewed out for it, and now he was grumbling about how it wasn’t a big deal.
Dokyun looked at Myeong-dae’s face, full of indignation and resentment.
How the hell does a guy like this not get fired? Is he the CEO's relative? Or did he suck the CEO's dick?
Working at a mid-sized semiconductor company, Dokyun considered his junior colleague to be one of the company's greatest mysteries.
He was the epitome of an incompetent human being, making mistakes in everything he did and whining instead of fixing them. And yet, he somehow managed to hang on to his job. A truly mysterious figure.
“...so... Assistant Manager? Assistant Manager Chae? Are you listening to me?”
“Hm? Oh, yeah, I’m listening. You must be pissed.”
“Right? Anyway, so...”
“Myeong-dae.”
“Yes?”
“Look, I get that you’re angry, but the time is...”
Dokyun tapped the watch on his wrist and showed it to Myeong-dae. 12:53. It was time to get back to work.
“Oh my. It’s already this late. Shall we head back in?”
“Yeah, yeah. It’s tough, but what can you do? That’s office life for you. Let’s hurry back before we’re late.”
“Yes!”
Dokyun cut off Myeong-dae, who looked like he could complain all day if left unchecked, and patted him on the back, guiding him into the building.
Sigh, I can’t wait to go home.
On days like this, when nothing went right, he just wanted to go home early, order some chicken, and soothe his mind and body by binge-reading the precious novels he’d been saving.
Heh, now that’s the good stuff.
The thought of his unopened collection of pet projects made his gloomy mood lift a little.
Six hours until I can leave. Just gotta hold on.
Though it had been less than an hour since he’d eaten, his mouth began to water.
*
Time passed. That evening, Dokyun sat in front of his computer at the office, his entire focus on the time displayed in the bottom right corner of the monitor.
3, 2, 1.
The clock struck 19:00. Quitting time.
Screeeak.
From his seat by the window, beyond the partition, Department Head Han stood up.
“Good work, everyone! Let’s all head home.”
“Good work, sir!”
“Have a good evening~”
At Han-bujang’s declaration, employees all over the office rose from their seats, exchanged goodbyes, and headed for the elevators.
Thump.
Dokyun was no different. He’d had everything ready to go ten minutes before quitting time. All he had to do was stand up and head home.
Which one should I read first? Hypno-Training at the Girls' Academy? The Dystopian Murderer? The Ghost Fleet's Third-Class Helmsman?
He’d been so all-in on Conquering Another World with Sex that he had a huge backlog of novels to read.
Oh, right. I should order delivery first.
A smile spread across his lips. So many precious novels were waiting just for him. Just as Dokyun, steeped in blissful satisfaction, started walking toward the elevator...
“Assistant Manager Chae!”
“Yes?”
Dokyun turned at the sound of his name. Han-bujang was looking at him with a wide grin.
Shit, why are you looking at me like that?
A small seed of anxiety sprouted in his chest.
“How about a drink tonight?”
Han-bujang approached Dokyun, making a gesture with his hand as if he were knocking back a shot of soju. Dokyun quickly composed his expression and opened his mouth.
“I'm sorry, sir. There's a jesa [ancestral rite] at my house today.”
“Does your family hold a jesa every single month?”
“My father is a very traditional man.”
“You were just smiling like someone on their way to a party.”
If you know, then just let me go.
“I was just happy thinking about seeing Porong-i at my parents’ house. It’s been a while.”
“Hmph... Is that so? What a shame...”
Han-bujang’s face fell, and he suddenly looked like a puppy abandoned by its owner. Judging by that expression, he must have had a huge fight with his wife this morning.
Dokyun dared to guess that whoever got caught by Han-bujang today would be forced to listen to a lecture on marriage and life until dawn.
“Well then, I’ll be on my way. I’m short on time.”
“Alright, off you go.”
Giving up quickly in the face of Dokyun’s firm refusal, Han-bujang turned around. He spotted Myeong-dae packing his things in a corner of the office, and a huge smile bloomed on his face as he called out to him.
“Assistant Manager Jeong!”
Amen, Myeong-dae...
After confirming Myeong-dae was now staring at the department head with a panicked expression, Dokyun offered a small, silent prayer and turned away.
Wait for me, my darlings! Oppa is on his way!
Whatever happened to Jeong Myeong-dae was none of his business. Now completely free to leave, Dokyun walked with a spring in his step, heading for home.
*
Creeak.
“Huh? Did I leave the door open when I left?”
A rooftop apartment on the outskirts of Seoul. The home of a man living alone, one who still used a key instead of a digital lock. Sometimes, things like this happened.
“Heh, maybe I’m a little careless?”
His spirits high from thinking about the novels he would read tonight, Dokyun muttered to himself as he entered his apartment. He tossed the suit he was wearing onto the bed and began to set up the fried chicken he’d had delivered on the table.
“Where should we go, Myeong-dong or Cheongnyangni~”
He couldn’t stop humming. The thought of his precious novels and chicken—the perfect end to his day, the true ecstasy of life—made his excitement skyrocket.
He opened the chicken box.
“Ooh...”
Its golden hue put gold bars to shame. The heat and greasy aroma wafted to his nose, stimulating his salivary glands.
“Fuuuck! This is ecstasy!”
Physical contact between a man and a woman? The release of bodily fluids? What was all that about? This was real ecstasy.
He took the pickled radish out of the box, went to the sink, tore off a small corner to drain the brine, then grabbed a glass. He opened the fridge, took out a beer, and popped the cap with a satisfying psst! Tilting the glass, he poured slowly, carefully, to minimize the foam.
Glug, glug, glug.
After filling the transparent glass with golden nectar, Dokyun, smartphone in one hand and a chicken leg in the other, began his sacred ritual.
Crunch.
The batter shattering in his mouth, the rich juices bursting through. The sensation of his mouth being utterly ravaged, and on top of that, the prologue of a new novel making his heart flutter.
Dokyun ‘climaxed.’
“Khaaaaa...!”
Ah, life was so beautiful. His mood, which had hit rock bottom at lunchtime, was now tracing an endless upward curve, leading him to heaven.
Just as Dokyun was lost in the thought, Could I really die from sheer happiness?
CRACK!
Thud.
A dull noise, and Dokyun’s body collapsed.
A heavy, spreading pain in the back of his head. His vision blurred.
Huh...? Am I really going to heaven?
Was the happiness too much for him to handle? His thoughts weren’t functioning properly. The world flickered rapidly, pulling his consciousness down. As his awareness sank, an overwhelming drowsiness washed over him.
Sssk-.
...?
In the flickering world that was fading to black, Dokyun felt like he saw the shadow of a person before he lost consciousness.
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“Hehe... Found you~!”