Chapter 42
Chapter 42
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 42
Chapter Title: 9. Sylvia (5)
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“I don’t love you anymore.”
“……”
“I hate you.”
Just as Ian had done once before, Sylvia wore a troubled smile.
“I’m sorry.”
For a very brief moment.
Ian made an expression she had never seen before.
It was one of sorrow and shock.
Not once had she ever seen him wear such a heartbroken look.
Seeing it filled Sylvia with a strange emotion.
Her heart sank as if she felt the same pain as him, making her sad, yet her fingertips and lips trembled with joy.
A shiver began in her dantian and swept through her entire body.
Ian… he’s sad because of me….
It was proof that Ian loved her and yearned for her love in return.
Suppressing a pleasure close to ecstasy and steadying her trembling voice, Sylvia prodded him further.
“So I can’t even apologize.”
She wanted to see that expression again, but Ian simply nodded calmly.
“…Yeah. I can’t force it.”
Ian backed off without another word.
Sylvia spent her time imagining what thoughts he might be lost in alone.
How much grief would he feel?
How much would he miss me?
When would he come crawling back to me?
And what should I do then?
Reject him again?
Or reluctantly accept him?
Ian needs me.
Therefore, Ian has no choice but to love me.
Sylvia was convinced of that.
Even if she treated him harshly, it was all because she loved him, so he would understand.
Sylvia waited in her delusions, but Ian never came looking for her.
Around the time she told him she hated him, Ian was feeling confused.
Was it true that she loved him?
Did she still?
Were these tantrums just her twisted way of showing love?
Was it right to torment someone you loved like this?
He had considered the possibility that Sylvia might stop loving him.
And now, she really said she no longer loved him.
Since it happened in the exact same way he had done to her, he chalked it up to karma.
Emotions couldn’t be forced.
Nor did he have to wait forever just because she once said she loved him.
Love wasn’t something done alone.
You could love someone yesterday, not today, and hate them tomorrow.
Ian accepted that flow.
From the start, their love had been certain, but their relationship was ambiguous.
It had merely reignited awkwardly, something they had put off until after the Demon King subjugation.
It wasn’t strange for it to end this emptily.
One day.
Two days.
Even after weeks passed, Ian didn’t return to how things were.
Sylvia realized she needed to snap him out of his denial.
“Ian.”
“Yeah.”
“I have someone I like now. Not you.”
She wanted to see that sad expression from before.
She wanted him to show that he still craved her love.
That moment when he looked so beautiful and ecstatic, as if God had given humans the emotion of sorrow solely to reveal that side of him to her.
But Ian just shrugged and nodded.
“Really? That’s great.”
“……”
A surge of indignation boiled up inside Sylvia.
“Y-yeah. It is great. He’s way stronger and better than you.”
“Good for you.”
“……”
Ian spoke with utter serenity.
His reaction felt too detached from reality.
Was this approach wrong?
Sylvia began resorting to her old tactic of threatening him with herself as collateral.
“Everything annoys me. I might as well just die.”
“Why did you save me? You could’ve just let me die.”
“I want to kill everyone and then myself. Why even live?”
“Should I just flip the whole Pride Empire upside down? I think I could.”
At some point, Sylvia gave up provoking him and just waited.
She thought it was about time for Ian to come to her.
Her delusions, forcibly suppressed while waiting, only grew stronger.
Ian hates me.
He’s nothing without me, so why does he hate me?
If that’s the case, just leave.
Why stay?
Even saying he loved me was a lie.
Why did he say that?
Why did he accept my love?
Would he finally look back at me if I died?
Her swollen delusions were perfected by Penny’s intervention.
📰 Breaking News “Ian has been using all of you.” “Do you know how much money pours in for historical heroes like you in the 1st Party? It’s not just about the magic stones you sell.” “Every group across the empire is dying to sponsor you and help for free.” “But Ian has never done that. The reason is simple. To keep you from knowing your own value. Don’t all your actions get partially controlled by Ian? Doesn’t he hide a lot from you?” “It’s to make you dependent on him. Even his kindness is a scheme to bind you with human emotions so you can’t leave.” “Nothing is clearer than the flow of money. Look at these ledgers…” Penny had always sown discord before, but they hadn’t believed her.
But hearing it again after falling out with Ian, it all fit too perfectly.
Penny’s analysis was chillingly precise.
Even his declarations of love.
Even accepting her love.
All lies to use her.
If they weren’t lies, there’d be no reason to divert the money he should have spent on them.
Even that sad expression—maybe it was because he couldn’t use her anymore.
For the wretched her, money was a tool for survival and the final proof of Ian’s affection.
Since the other members agreed, they decided to expel Ian.
But Sylvia never thought Ian would actually leave.
He can’t function without even just me. No way he’d leave this place. What about the Demon King and the curse?
Even out of necessity, Ian would come crawling back.
Then she planned to reluctantly forgive him and take him back.
She hated him, but she still loved him.
“Get out of this party. That’s an order.”
“A-and every time you come back from battle, touching us… it makes us uncomfortable.”
Her voice trembled a little, so her words stuttered, but she helped expel Ian.
She deliberately used formal speech instead of the familiar tone to create distance.
Ian’s massages were the most intimate time with him, and she had never hated them.
Even after they grew distant, she never skipped the massages.
But she thought such lies were necessary.
At the time, she hadn’t fully grasped the meaning of expulsion.
A thrill close to ecstasy.
And the expectation that Ian would beg and cling to her.
But Ian actually left.
“Uh…?”
The expulsion was a form of punishment.
A punishment to make him reflect and realize her value.
The final step in her plan for him to hurt as much as she had and repent.
When Ian apologized desperately, that’s when Sylvia would forgive everything, embrace him, and complete their love.
It was a perfectly flawless plan.
Even seeing him leave made her anxious, but she believed he’d return, missing her.
Or at least for the sake of the 1st Hero Party.
She had underestimated his feelings far too much and exploited him excessively.
Ian couldn’t define his feelings toward Sylvia, who had driven him out, in a single word.
He just recalled her from the second round.
The version of her who killed first and negotiated later, where murder was her means of bargaining.
He had believed saving her from that alley before she was stained by killing would improve her.
Was this outcome her true nature, or his fault?
Unanswerable, he summed it up with her favorite phrase.
Annoying.
There was a vast difference between a wandering heart and completely severing ties.
So Ian decided to treat everything between them as if it never happened.
From that day on, Sylvia sealed those memories in a sturdy box in her heart.
Ian will come back.
Ian won’t leave me.
Ian loves me.
Ian can’t do without me.
Forgetting both bad and good memories, she waited only for Ian’s return.
Surpassing all that time and twisted emotions, Sylvia arrived at Macdullin Abbey.
What should I say…?
At first, she was angry and hurt.
But as she drew closer, joy welled up in her heart.
I get to see Ian….
She could see Ian.
That alone thrilled her.
“If you don’t have business here, would you leave?”
That thrill was mercilessly crushed.
Only after meeting his emotionless gaze did she realize, belatedly.
I… did this to Ian….
Sylvia had killed his feelings.
She had brutally crushed the heart of the man she loved, who had loved her.
Only now, far too late, did Sylvia reflect on her arrogant mistakes.
She felt like she was suffocating in aching regret.
She wished she could suffocate, but she couldn’t, making it even more agonizing.
The sins she committed.
The regrets she piled up.
So, so many.
Yet her selfish heart still hated Ian.
I hate you for looking at me like that, like I’m an object….
But more than that.
No, to the point where that hate paled.
I love you so much more.
Even now, it was true.
Emotions swirled in a vortex.
Hate him, love him, want to kill him, want to kiss him, want to die, want to hold him, want to apologize, want forgiveness.
She missed their precious bond—whatever might remain in the lost time—so much she wanted to cling to it even if it was dead.
The tightly sealed box burst open the moment she saw Ian.
This is the price of my sins….
Sylvia realized.
That she would regret the past and love Ian until she understood the meaning of eternity.
And humans, unable to live forever, could never grasp eternity even in a lifetime.
Love isn’t something done alone….
It wasn’t Ian who couldn’t do it without a partner.
It was Sylvia.
She realized now, seeing the man who left again, that everything was meaningless without Ian.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇ Ian waited in silence for the two of them, then pulled an hourglass from his pocket.
It was a five-minute one.
“I have things to do, and it’s almost bedtime. If you have business, I’d appreciate it if you got straight to the point quickly.”
Sylvia’s dazed eyes flicked between the hourglass and Ian.
She knew what this was.
Ian often set time limits when dealing with people.
To prevent unnecessary time waste.
In other words, dealing with Sylvia and Aria for more than five minutes was a waste of time for him right now.
There was no ulterior motive.
For outsiders who showed up unannounced when he was busy, five minutes was always his default allowance.
Thus, Ian was being perfectly fair right now.
Treating them equally, regardless of their past relationship.
Ian wasn’t pleased to see them, but he had no intention of being rude either.
He just hoped they’d state their business and leave so they could all get on with their own tasks.
Meanwhile, he would gather the remaining members and grow the party.
“Ian….”
Sylvia’s voice, fragile as if it might break, called his name with such tenderness.
Ian’s dry gaze shifted to her.