Chapter 40
Chapter 40
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 40
Chapter Title: 9. Sylvia (3)
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Ian, who had been hesitating, started to say something but ended up chuckling instead.
"How old are you?"
"...Huh? Eighteen?"
"A kid who isn't even an adult yet talking about stuff like that? Go to bed and grow some more."
"Wha?"
Ian said that as he firmly pressed down on Sylvia's hat-covered head.
"Ah, no! Wait a sec! We're only four years apart anyway...!"
"You called me 'mister' when we first met."
"...You've been hung up on that this whole time?"
"Nah."
Sylvia felt a sense of unreality.
What was this?
Her seriously, painstakingly confessed feelings?
"Wait! I'm really serious...! And who said anything about getting married right away? There's stages and stuff... ."
Her mumbling to herself in a fantasy was honestly a little cute, so Ian couldn't help but laugh.
"Why are you laughing...! I'm serious!"
Sylvia hated how her confession felt like a childhood promise he couldn't even remember.
Ian wiped the smile off his face and asked with a serious expression.
"You mean it?"
"Yeah."
Sylvia nodded without hesitation.
Ian frowned and scratched his forehead as he looked at her.
"...W-Why? You don't like me?"
"It's not that."
"Then?"
"Sigh..."
Ian sighed deeply and swept back his bangs.
What did that reaction mean?
Was he troubled because he loved her too?
Sylvia hoped he'd accept her, even if reluctantly.
"Sylvia."
"Yeah."
"Think about it. Even if I did accept you, what about the party members?"
"What do they have to do with anything? You're not into someone else besides me, are you?"
"No, that's not the issue."
"Then what is!"
To her, who had no deep relationships besides Ian and whose serious feelings were directed only at him, it was hard to understand.
"It's not unheard of for a manager and hero to develop that kind of relationship. But I've never seen it end well."
"Why?"
"Why do you think? The hero has to fight, and the manager has to treat them all fairly, train them, and send them into battle."
"So what's wrong with that?"
"Setting all that aside, you're precious to me."
"...Huh?"
"The other members too."
"......"
"But if you became even more precious, I couldn't send you to dangerous places."
She was happy at the word "precious."
Then disappointed that he said she was equal to the others.
But the possibility of her becoming more precious made her happy again.
Sylvia hated her heart for rising and falling on its own.
In the end, his words were a clear rejection, but she didn't want to give up.
It was the first emotion she'd ever felt in her life.
The first seat she'd claimed, the first person she'd coveted.
"...Then I just need to get stronger."
"Huh?"
"If I get strong enough that you don't have to worry, that should fix it. And two years will pass before you know it. Right?"
He'd answered playfully on purpose, but age wasn't a big issue.
They were aiming for the Demon King's death, but he died without even seeing the Demon King.
She didn't know how strong the Demon King was.
"Got it. I'll get even stronger."
"It's not just about that..."
"Stop. Don't say any more."
Her voice was firm, but her expression wasn't.
She looked like she'd burst into tears at any word.
"Instead, tell me one thing..."
"...What."
"Out of the four of us, who's the most precious?"
Ian had said they were all precious.
But asking anyway wasn't to hear his true feelings—it was just what she wanted to hear.
It was whining, not a question.
"Sigh..."
Ian sighed again and scratched his forehead.
Sylvia squeezed her eyes shut in fear.
'Even if it's not true, please...'
"Lend me your ear."
Sylvia tilted her face nervously.
Ian hesitated but didn't open his mouth.
-Smack!
"Ow!"
"They're all the same, so why ask something weird? Get out. It's bedtime for kids."
She had no confidence in convincing him, given her precarious situation where she could die anytime.
"Tch..."
In a fit of anger, Sylvia felt an impulse to hug Ian's neck and kiss him.
She could do it now.
Her strength had already surpassed his.
Or she could bind him with restraint magic and have her way.
'...No, hold back.'
Save it for someday, even if it's far in the future, when their hearts connect.
For the day when the harvest would be sweeter and riper.
She'd held back multiple times from pouncing on him while he slept.
Well, technically, he'd caught her because his sleep hearing was like a ghost's, and she'd been chased out.
After that day, Sylvia had trained with determination.
Believing that if she got stronger, she could stand by his side.
Then one day.
The first SS-grade dungeon appeared.
It wasn't just a city—it swallowed an entire vassal state whole, so it couldn't even be confined to the dungeon category.
A demon realm, hell manifested in reality.
Monsters poured out, occupying the nation.
Ian had tipped off the emperor in advance, who passed it to the vassal state, so casualties were low.
But the infrastructure, trade routes, unaccounted food and supplies—everything collapsed.
Ian couldn't move his party right away.
He had no confidence they'd win.
"You looking down on us right now?"
Kaily snapped, but Ian shook his head firmly.
"Not looking down. Just facing reality."
In the end, no one could overrule Ian.
Six whole months.
Ignoring even the emperor's urgings, Ian focused solely on training the four for six months.
They cleared nearby dungeons for artifacts and holy relics.
In the meantime, countless parties were sent to conquer the SS-grade dungeon and all failed.
All they could do was hold the border with troops.
And finally, six months later.
Ian's party members were deployed to the vassal state's east, west, south, and north respectively.
A week later, the vassal state's territory was reclaimed.
Another week later, the SS-grade dungeon vanished.
Just four people wrote history, and from then on, they were called the "1st Hero Party."
The one who contributed the most to conquering that dungeon was undoubtedly Sylvia.
"Ian-!"
As soon as Sylvia confirmed the dungeon's destruction and got her wounds treated, she rushed back to Ian.
Having achieved a feat that would go down in history didn't matter.
She just wanted to tell Ian quickly that she'd gotten stronger.
Crossing the brink of death, not just Sylvia but the others had grown tremendously.
"Ian! I did it! You heard, right? Yeah?"
Sylvia ran up and threw herself into Ian's arms.
Ian hesitated to hug her back.
Feeling that hesitation, Sylvia hugged him even tighter.
In the end, Ian hugged her too.
"...Yeah. Of course I heard. Good job."
"I'm way stronger than before. For real. You don't have to worry anymore. Next year I'll be an adult, so, Ian..."
Sylvia looked up with a pounding heart.
She believed he'd finally accept her.
At least a promise.
But Ian just smiled awkwardly.
"You're still so tiny, yet talking big."
Sylvia wasn't in the mood for jokes.
It wasn't just today.
After confessing, she'd approached him subtly multiple times to show her feelings, and each time, Ian dismissed it as a child's tantrum.
She didn't want that today.
"Ian... I'm really..."
"Sylvia. Don't say it."
"...Huh?"
"You know it's not possible."
"No. I don't know. I don't know anything."
"How could I with you being a hero..."
"Don't lie!"
Her arms around him tightened.
His leather armor tore under her grip.
"You know too, right? How hard I've worked... You know how strong I am now, right? Yeah?"
"Yeah, you're stronger. But not enough to kill the Demon King yet..."
"You just don't like me? Yeah? If that's it, just say so."
Don't say you don't like me.
"I don't dislike you."
"Then?"
"It's just..."
"I love you."
"Sylvia..."
"I, I really... I love you so much. I don't even know why I feel this way, my feelings are so big they're scary, but you know, I love you more than anyone in this world..."
Ian looked down at Sylvia with the face of a criminal.
It had reached a point where he couldn't take it lightly anymore.
Sylvia hated seeing that expression.
'If you're gonna look that sorry, just say you love me. Then everything would be perfect...'
Ian inhaled as if to speak.
I love you.
His lips and tongue moved as if pronouncing it.
Sylvia observed every change in his lips, tongue, and breath meticulously.
But.
"...I'm sorry."
The answer she wanted didn't come.
The echo of "I love you" turning into "I'm sorry" hurt too much.
"Sylvia, I..."
"Aaaah-!"
Sylvia screamed and collapsed, sobbing.
At her sobs, Ian swallowed the truth he'd been about to reveal.
Hail poured from the sky.
Cold ice shards swept the world, mirroring the chill in her heart.
After a long cry, Sylvia stared at Ian with unfocused eyes before returning to her tent.
"Sylvia, wait..."
-Thwack!
She fiercely shook off his hand trying to grab her and glared at Ian.
"Don't talk to me."
Sharp words came out against her true feelings.
Talk to me.
Grab me.
Even now, hug me again.
Say you love me.
In the end, until Sylvia walked away, Ian couldn't hold her back.
"Sigh..."
Ian sighed as he aligned his broken wrist.
Just a light swat, and his wrist snapped.
Pain was familiar to him, so he didn't show it, and Sylvia didn't even realize it was broken.
"...You should've just accepted her a little."
Mercy, who had been watching from afar, approached and said.
"You know that child's feelings, don't you?"
"...Yeah."
"Even though you know your feelings aren't different."
"......"
"I don't know what scares you so much, but a relationship that's only hurting each other because they're too precious... it's painful to watch. What's with your wrist? Did you get hurt?"
"Nah, it's nothing."
Ian hadn't rejected her because he wanted to.
Why wouldn't he love her?
Sylvia, who had only known scavenging and plundering, spent more time with and closer to Ian than anyone.
The words, writing, habits, culture, common sense, magic, combat skills, social skills she learned—all from Ian.
He vaguely knew her feelings for him were special and affectionate.
Every time a new member joined, she'd get upset at his divided attention.
At first, he thought it was just her immature possessiveness from a poor upbringing.
But the way Sylvia looked at Ian gradually changed.
Ian pretended not to notice.
He hoped those feelings wouldn't solidify.
Unspoken feelings could be ignored, even if they clearly existed.
But Sylvia couldn't hold back her possessiveness turned to affection and confessed, and Ian couldn't accept it.
Ian was potentially on a death clock.
He wasn't sure if he could kill the Demon King by the time he'd died in the second loop.
No guarantee this third loop's time limit was the same as the second.
'It might even be shorter...'
Sylvia had grown stronger, and so had the other three.
But they were still weaker than what he'd seen in the second loop.
It wasn't just Sylvia's weakness.
Ian was even weaker, and he could die anytime.
Having confirmed his growth limit and died in the second loop, he was always anxious.
He often stayed up nights.
He'd just adapted and grown used to it, not showing it.
Even reaching the Demon King's castle in the second loop was only possible by avoiding fights and detours.
His body was that frail, forcing cowardice.
Dying at the castle entrance, he couldn't gauge how strong the 1st Party needed to be to beat the Demon King.
In the end, he had to rely on others to solve his own problem.
Even the goal of killing the Demon King given to him was from some unknown person.
With his life and death in others' hands, how could he not be anxious?
This is why Ian tried to accommodate the heroes as much as possible.
The helplessness of sacrificing others for what he couldn't do.
The responsibility bordering on guilt from that.
Like in the second loop, the third was the same.
His survival was only possible with others' sacrifices.
It was partly to motivate them to grow and fight until they killed the Demon King.
But responsibility and helplessness weighed more.
'I don't want to give Sylvia what amounts to a fated breakup. One like that in the second loop was enough...'
Ian truly cherished Sylvia.
That's why he couldn't accept her.
Waiting until night, Ian went to find Sylvia.
"...Why'd you come."
Sylvia spoke curtly but didn't chase him away.
"Um... Sylvia. You might not believe me, but I'm on a time limit. I just don't know exactly when or how I'll die."
"...Just say you don't like me."
"I'm serious too."
"A superhuman on a time limit? You expect me to believe that? All superhumans are immune to disease."
"Not all are, and it's not a disease..."
"Then what? Did someone curse you?"
Ian hesitated briefly.
If it was a curse, you could call it that...
"A real curse? Who? Let me research and lift it. Tell me."
"Not a curse. I just can't explain it..."
The longer Ian agonized, the deeper Sylvia's suspicion grew.
"I don't know what it is either. But it's certain I might die."
It was hard to believe, but Ian's expression was too grave.
Sylvia decided to believe it for now.
"Then... that's the main reason you can't accept me?"
"Yeah, the biggest one."
Sylvia mulled over the answer, then her eyes welled up.
"Don't die... You can't leave me behind..."
"Who's dying now? So..."
Ian caught his breath briefly.
Thinking of the Demon King and time limit he tried not to dwell on brought back memories of his chased past.
"Wait until I kill the Demon King."
"...Why does it come to that? Is it a curse from the Demon King?"
If anything, it wasn't wrong.
But he couldn't affirm it, not knowing the quest's true nature.
"Something like that."
"You said I could kill the Demon King... Then it should be fine, right?"
"Not certain yet. Don't know how strong he is. Even with you four, no guarantees."
Sylvia swept back her bangs, sighed deeply, and replied.
"Got it."
"Okay..."
"But hug me. No, wait."
Not waiting for a reply, Sylvia lunged at the seated Ian and clung to him.
Sitting on his lap, she hugged him and smirked.
"I'll kill the Demon King, so you do the waiting, Ian."
His complicated feelings choked him, so Ian couldn't respond.
Sylvia pulled back and stared blatantly at his lips.
"Don't do that."
"That's cheating."
Sylvia hugged him again and said.
"I love you."
Unable to return the words, Ian just hugged her tighter.
That was enough for Sylvia.
Then one day.
"What were you doing in Aria's tent last night?"
"Oh, she said her mana circuits were unstable and asked me to come over..."
"Liar. I heard everything. What Aria said to you."
"You eavesdropped...? Anyway, I left right after. Nothing happened, and I didn't respond."
"Still! It pisses me off that you even heard that! Spend that time with me instead!"
"It's not like that... No, sorry."
"It pisses me off..."
Sylvia spun around to leave after her piece, but Ian grabbed her shoulder.
Out of her mind with anxiety that she might lose Ian, Sylvia slapped his hand away hard.
-Thwack!
"Don't touch me. I'm serious..."
At that moment, Ian furrowed his brow slightly and let out a low breath.
It had been half-whining until then, but his reaction made her truly angry.
"You just sighed at me?"
"Not..."
"Forget it. Do whatever. Don't grab me this time."
Sylvia left, secretly hoping he'd grab her again, and this time Ian didn't.
Ian touched his wrist, slumped into a chair, and summoned Kati with the slave ring.
Kati soon arrived with a potion bottle.
"Master..."
Seeing her frown, Ian waved it off.
"It's nothing."
His wrist bone wasn't just broken—it was shattered.
As a superhuman with high-grade potions, it'd heal in days, but it wasn't painless enough to hide completely.
He'd grimaced in front of Sylvia.
At the time, Ian could only blame himself.
He didn't know why Aria had said that to him.
But Sylvia had overheard.
Sylvia's anxiety fed her delusions day by day.
Aria wants Ian.
I might lose him.
'I met him first, spent the most time...'
To kill that anxious delusion, Sylvia had to provoke Ian for reassurance.
At the same time, make him anxious, force his gaze only on her.
So no one else could see him.
Possess him.
Bind him to her.
"I won't do it."
"Huh?"
"No more hero stuff. Don't know why I should. Demon King can live or die for all I care."
"Sylvia. Why all of a sudden..."
Ian's goal was to kill the Demon King.
But he couldn't do it alone.
Even with the 1st Party, no guarantees.
Conversely, he didn't want even one missing.
'Ian needs me.'
So even if Sylvia was harsh, he couldn't be harsh back.
He had to soothe her.
After realizing that.
"Dunno, just don't wanna. Might as well just die for all it matters. You have Aria anyway, and the other members, so who cares."
Sylvia's emotional bullying had begun.