More Than Myself — Mama, and the Children
Acrab, having lost an arm, leapt backward in a panicked scramble. Blood spraying from the stump scattered through the air as it chased after its fleeing mistress.
"You fucking bitch! What are you all standing there staring at! KILL HER!!"
Her subordinates came charging with swords and axes.
Acrab, desperate to escape the terror of aging, had begged the Colossus for its blessing of regeneration — and in return gained a monstrous capacity for recovery. An arm, no doubt, would grow back in less than a minute.
"Paula. You remember the words, don't you?"
White flames raced along the ground beside me as I cut down the charging cultists without pause. The fire, relentless as a hunting hound, snapped at Acrab's legs and worried them, tearing them apart.
"GYAAAAAAK! You fucking—! C-Cult Leader! The ritual! NOW!"
Acrab screamed for the Cult Leader in a voice shrill with desperation, but there was no answer.
"Cult… Leader…."
Her body crumbled away inside the flames. The hand she stretched toward the Cult Leader even in her final moment shattered into countless pieces and rained down across the floor.
"A discarded piece, then. Seems he needed more sacrifices."
"Yes. I wanted to hurry things along. A consecration is required to summon the South Guardian Star."
"But what are we going to do about this? I burned them all with Holy Fire, so the sacrifices must be running short."
Instead of answering, the Cult Leader spread his hand and activated the curse. The ancient words carved into his palm flared crimson.
A moment later, the cultists surrounding the barrier began exploding from within.
"GYAAAAAAAK!!"
"W-what is—! GUEEEEEK!"
"No, I don't want to—!!"
With their final screams, the cultists transformed into lumps of meat. Soon every spot the eye could reach — inside the barrier and out — was blanketed in corpses and blood.
"Guardian Star of the South, come forth unto this place."
Only the blood lifted from the corpses of the low-ranking cultists strewn across the ground, gathering into a mass in midair. A sphere that began the size of a human head swelled abnormally fast, and before anyone realized it had grown as large as a horse.
Paula hastily unleashed her Holy Fire at the sphere. The flames swallowed the orb of blood in an instant and began roaring skyward.
"Too late."
With the Cult Leader's chilling declaration, a colossal fist burst out of the fireball.
"GWOAAAAAAAH—!!"
Hard on the fist's heels, an enormous slab of muscle revealed itself from within the sphere. The blazing inferno seemed utterly incapable of dealing the beast so much as a scratch.
"Paula, that monster is the South Guardian Star. Don't even think about facing it. It's a bad matchup for you."
"So that's… the Red Colossus's incarnation."
A giant assembled from the scraped-together bones and flesh of countless humans. Its face bore nothing but a single hideous eye, and its only armament was a cross-shaped shield. But a five-meter frame packed with brutal muscle was, in itself, a grave threat.
"Lady Antares. What do we do now?"
"The Cult Leader has to prepare his ritual, so he'll probably sit tight until every Guardian Star is dead. I'll deal with that hulk myself."
"Didn't you say the South Guardian Star was stronger than you, Lady Antares?"
"I said he was stronger than me, not that I couldn't beat him. You keep your eyes on that one."
I pointed a finger at the man standing guard at the Cult Leader's side. The Cult Leader, in turn, pointed a finger at Paula.
"Aldebaran. You go in as well. Subdue the Saintess."
"As you command."
At the Cult Leader's summons, the bull-horned man Aldebaran crashed into the battlefield. I saw Paula sent flying by a blow from his massive iron club, but I had no room in my attention to spare for it.
"Acrux. The strongest of the Guardian Stars. I lost to you again and again."
"KWOAAAAAAAH!!"
"So it seems it's finally my turn to win."
When Acrux planted his massive foot, the earth shuddered. But that was merely a light preparatory motion. Shield thrust forward, Acrux bent his knees.
"KWOAAAAAAH!"
KWAKWANG!
With the sound of the ground collapsing, Acrux's enormous body launched like a artillery shell. Even though it was nothing more than the act of charging with brute force, the air churned and gale winds blasted outward in every direction.
I twisted my body sideways, slipping clear of that crushing mass of weight. In the same motion I stored the execution axe into my bracelet and drew out a new weapon.
"I spent some time thinking about how to deal with you."
Into the back of Acrux's knee — his back turned from the momentum of his own charge — a throwing dagger engraved with fish scales flew and buried itself.
"KWOAAAAH!"
"Regenerating, as expected."
The dagger's coarse surface shredded the flesh as it sank in, but before long both the wound and the dagger alike were swallowed up by the writhing meat.
"Fine. Let's see just how far you can regenerate."
"KUWAAAAAK!!"
This time Acrux seized the shield in both hands and began hammering down wildly, like a man squashing a bug.
BAM-! BAM-! KWAAANG-!
He outmatched me in strength and speed both. But slipping a dagger into every gap his sweeping movements left open, I never stopped moving.
"Grrrrrr…."
"Starting to feel it, hmm? Hard to move, isn't it? You should've regenerated in moderation."
How many times had I driven daggers into the joints of his arms and legs? Acrux had slowed to a visibly crawl.
"You're supposed to remove the foreign objects before you heal the wound."
"KWOAAAAAAH!"
What I summoned for the killing blow was the weapon I handled best of all — a halberd designed to resemble a scorpion's black exoskeleton.
Like a scorpion spreading its pincers and cocking its stinger, I raised the halberd's razor edge.
"According to the texts, what the Red Colossus prizes above all is the heart that pumps blood through its entire body."
"GWOAAAAH! UWOAAAAH!!"
"So when the heart is destroyed, the connection to the Colossus is severed completely."
Acrux slammed down his shield, swung his fists, tried to trample me into the earth. But the wilder his movements grew, the more the daggers lodged in his joints shredded him from within.
"KWOAAAAK?!"
THUD!
Losing his balance in an instant and driving one knee into the ground, Acrux left his chest completely wide open. And the scorpion never misses the opening of its prey.
Boring through the thick flesh, crushing the bones fused into one, and at last — the moment the stinger touched the heart—
SZZZZZZZT—!!
"KWEEEEEEEK?!!"
From the hole punched through his chest, a transparent liquid poured out along with the blood, and white steam billowed up into the sky.
"G-GWOAAAAK! GWEEEEEH!! EEEEEH!"
Shrieking, Acrux wrung out the last of his strength and tore the halberd free — but what I needed to do was already done. The deadly venom, potent enough to kill even a dragon, had been scattered into his heart and was now coursing through his entire body.
"GWEEEEEK…. Kek…. Kruhk!"
KU-GOOM-!!
The colossal body crashed to the ground with a thunderous roar and a shockwave of wind — and soon even the smallest twitch had vanished.
"Paula! Finished?"
"No."
The fight wasn't over yet? At the unexpected answer, I hastily turned my head toward the direction she was fighting.
"Shall I finish him, then?"
"…Next time, tell me that first. Burn him."
Paula, seizing the hair of the dismembered Aldebaran, kindled her flames and burned him whole where she stood. It was simply that she acted spoiled around me more often than not — but she really was the Flame Saintess from the original story, without a doubt.
"How long do you plan to keep hiding behind that barrier? There are no Guardian Stars left to fight for you."
I shouted at the Cult Leader, who still did nothing but watch from beyond the red barrier. His ritual wasn't ready, and every Guardian Star who might have protected him was dead. The red barrier still stood, but Paula could punch through it easily enough.
Despite his obviously hopeless position, he simply went on wearing that insidious smile.
"I haven't the faintest idea what you're talking about. There are four Guardian Stars, are there not?"
The crimson ancient script carved along the Cult Leader's outstretched arm began to glow. In an instant, my vision flooded red.
"Paula! Get away from—"
My consciousness sank into deep, deep darkness.
Where am I? Is this a dream?
"Mama!"
No. It can't be. I can hear them — those lovely voices. This is my reality.
"Spica. What is it?"
Pink-haired Spica had always been the most attached to me. Perhaps because she was such a timid thing, she'd always wanted to be wherever I was.
"Quit bothering Mama so much. I know you wake her up every single time you get up to use the bathroom at night."
"Regulus, you—! I told you that was a secret!"
Regulus, the eldest, had always worried over me. He was still only a child, and I was so proud of him for it.
"Mama? I told you not to pat my head…."
And I remembered patting it anyway, over and over, despite the protests — enough times to make her sulk at me.
"Mama's home! Welcome back!"
"Mama! Castor broke my toy!"
"Did not! Ain picked on me first!"
Truly, my lovable children.
As always, I was calling each of their names in turn, hugging them, kissing their cheeks — when I noticed a child crouched alone in the corner.
Pure-white hair, and eyes that seemed to hold the whole sky.
"Lady Antares."
That one word makes my eyes sting. I reach out into the incomprehensible emptiness, and the blood streaming from my eyes soaks my fingers. As if surfacing from a haze of hard liquor, my head splits with pain and every stray thought comes flooding in.
"Paula. It seems my mind is being controlled."
"Yes. In reality, you're fighting me with everything you have. Even getting in here was pure luck."
"The ritual will begin soon, won't it?"
"Yes. If this goes on, the Colossus will be resurrected."
"…Let's go."
Paula reaches out her hand to me. And the moment I take it, someone grasps my other hand.
"Mama. Where are you going?"
"…Spica."
Don't waver, Antares. You can never meet these children again. You cut them off yourself, didn't you?
"Mama will… Mama will… be right back, I…."
It's an illusion. An illusion the Cult Leader is showing me to keep me caged. These children are gone. So vivid, and yet they do not exist.
"Mama, you're going far away? Hic! Will it take long?"
"Spica, why are you like this again. Mama will… come back, even if it's hard on her."
No. I'm never coming back. I cut you off with these hands of mine. I gave you all up, forever.
"…Lady Antares. You don't have to come back to me."
"Paula?"
Behind my hesitation, Paula's voice reached me. Calmer than it had ever been, her expression gentler than it had ever been.
"They're the children you wanted to protect. More than anything, those children were with you first, weren't they."
"You too — you were one of them. But these children…."
It's fake. The smiles they aimed at me, the sad eyes conjured up at the word leaving, even the soft voices drawing near.
"These children…."
But the memories I carry are real. The children existed like this, and if they were alive today, this is exactly how they would speak and act.
"I want you to be happy, even inside a lie. Because I know how much you've been suffering."
"But you…."
"Even if the Colossus is resurrected and the world ends, this place will never disappear. So… it's all right. When we get outside, I'll erase these memories for you."
Paula slowly released the hand she'd been holding. Roughly wiping away the tears trailing down her face, she turned her head and walked on ahead.
"Mama, why is that big sister crying?"
"…Because she doesn't want to leave Mama behind."
Then Spica beamed and said:
"Then Mama should just take her along!"
"Silly. Mama can't leave because you keep crying!"
"Am not! I didn't cry!"
The other children, hearing the commotion, came crowding in. But once they had all gathered in one place, every one of them simply fell quiet and looked at me. In the stillness, the only sound was my own weeping.
"If I leave this time… I can never come back. Now…."
"Mama. We already know."
It was Zuben who said it — the brown-haired boy who loved his books.
"That the time we were given was short. And that the end of it would hurt."
It was Albali, curious and ever studious, who said:
"That's why Mama always gave us her very best. Said she'd make us happy, even if only for this moment, right now."
It was Acubens, who gave his all to everything he did, who said:
"Thanks to you, we were happy."
"Someday we'll have to part from you, Mama — but these memories are real."
Spica with her fountain of tears, Regulus with his maturity beyond his years. Every one of them had known that they had been carefully handpicked for death.
I hadn't been the only one braced for farewell.
"Big sister with the white hair!"
Spica darted out ahead of me, grabbed Paula's hand, and stopped her in her tracks.
"Our mama's pretty, isn't she!"
"…Huh? Yeah. Of course she is."
"Then take her with you! Our mama cooks really well! And she's pretty! A-and she smells nice!"
"Hey, you said 'pretty' twice."
"So our mama isn't pretty?"
"No… she is pretty."
Regulus, following after Spica, took Paula's other hand. Guided along by the children, Paula drew closer and closer to me.
"Hurry up and go, Mama."
"But… but…."
Alesha pushed my back. So did Acubens, and Zuben. Nine children pushed me toward Paula.
"If I leave like this, all of you will…."
"It's okay!"
Someone's voice rang at my ear.
"Losing you hurts more than never seeing you again, Mama!"
A voice I couldn't place — perhaps, maybe, one that all eleven of my children had raised together.
"Because we love you, Mama, more! More than you love yourself!"
This world is a lie. But the children living in my memories are the truth. Then are these words a lie — or the truth?
"Mama also… more than you love yourselves…."
At least the words passing my lips are true — and so I can only pray that this voice reaches my children.
"I love you."
What remained in my hands was a single handful of longing, aimed at a wish that could never come true. And an immeasurably vast love.
The world that had been pure white regained its color.
The ground was ash-gray, the walls black, and here and there a faint blue light shimmered in the gloom.
Paula — her white body covered all over in red marks — looked at me and smiled, hollow and spent.
"You finally came?"
"…I'm sorry. I was late."
Wiping away both the tears falling from the eye that remained and the tears of blood from the one now gone. Thinking of the child of mine still with me — and of the children of mine now lost forever.
"Libra, tip the scales."
I gripped the execution axe. Remembering Zuben, the child now sleeping forever within it — remembering all the other children, asleep forevermore.
"My children… those memories of theirs…."
I rage. I rage with a fury beyond all measure.
"The pure love that was entrusted to me — don't you DARE cut it to your own pattern and defile it!! You goddamn bastard!!"
From above to below. Like a falling star — and like a guillotine cleaving a condemned criminal's neck in two.
My blade split the barrier apart.
"G-Great Colossus! Descend! Right now, I beg you—"
KWADUDEUDEUK!!
Every ounce of vengeance and resentment carried within that stroke became a crimson sword aura — and cleaved the Cult Leader's body clean in two.