Naeun (4)
Naeun (4)
The place we entered following the staff's guidance was a small room prepared separately inside.
When the door closed, the gentle music and people's voices from the outer hall seemed to recede.
Water glasses and utensils were neatly arranged on the table.
Naeun sat down carefully without taking off her hoodie.
She kept unfolding and folding the menu while glancing at me repeatedly.
"Oppa, you don't like spicy things much, right?"
"......Suddenly?"
"You said before that your stomach wasn't feeling well."
She pointed to one side of the menu with her fingertip.
"That's why I picked a place that doesn't have many stimulating menus."
"You even remember that."
Naeun nodded her head slightly.
"Yes. Because it's what oppa said."
A little later, the staff opened the door again and entered.
"I'll assist with the order."
Naeun looked down at the menu once, then chose a few dishes.
Most were foods that weren't stimulating.
When the staff confirmed the order and left, the inside of the room became quiet again.
Naeun looked toward the door, then slowly put her hand on her hat.
"It should be fine now, right?"
She said that as she carefully flipped her hoodie back.
The hair that had been pressed inside the hat flowed down over her shoulders.
The face that had been almost invisible, hidden by the hoodie and mask at the movie theater, was revealed under the soft lighting inside the room.
It looked much plainer than before, perhaps because she had wiped off her stage makeup.
Finally, she took off her mask.
"It must have been stuffy."
When I said that without thinking, Naeun's eyes blinked slightly.
"It was okay."
"You kept wearing it the whole time."
"Because I shouldn't get caught."
Naeun neatly folded the mask she took off and placed it beside her.
"It would be troublesome if it got out that I'm with oppa."
It was a correct statement, but it sounded strangely different.
Was she hiding it because she was afraid people's attention would gather, or because she was afraid I would be in trouble? It was hard to tell apart.
Naeun took a sip of water.
"Oppa, are you okay?"
"What."
"You've been going around all day today."
"You're the one who took me around."
"......That's true, though."
Naeun lowered her gaze with a slightly embarrassed face.
"But if it's hard, tell me."
"If I tell you?"
"I'll let you rest."
She said it as if it was only natural.
Soon the food started coming out one by one.
Warm soup was placed first, and then small plates filled the table.
Naeun waited quietly until the staff left, and only after the door was completely closed did she pick up her spoon.
She pushed the soup bowl a little toward me.
"You eat first."
"You."
"I'll eat too."
"Then eat yours as well."
"After watching oppa eat."
"......Why watch that."
Naeun couldn't answer and just fidgeted with the tip of her spoon.
"Just because."
"Haa..."
In the end, I resigned myself and took a spoonful of the soup.
The warm heat and non-stimulating taste went down my throat.
"Is it okay?"
"It's tasty."
Only after hearing that did Naeun seem relieved and eat her own soup.
For a while, only the sound of utensils clashing continued.
It was coming very faintly from the outer hall, and the lighting inside the room was warm.
"Oppa."
Naeun quietly called me.
"Why."
"Is it tasty?"
"Yeah."
"That's a relief."
She smiled slightly.
"I hoped oppa would like it."
I put down my spoon and looked at her.
"You?"
"Yes?"
"What do you like."
Naeun blinked her eyes like someone who heard an unexpected question.
"The food."
"Ah...... I'm okay."
"Not just okay. What you like."
She couldn't answer right away and fidgeted with her spoon with her fingertips.
"Watching oppa eat deliciously."
"Is that food?"
"Well, no......"
Naeun scooped a spoonful of soup.
"I like that."
"That's not what you like."
"Yes?"
"You said doing what I like is good. That's not your preference."
Naeun blinked her eyes for a moment then slowly put down the spoon she was holding.
"Is that so? I don't really know."
She was still looking at me.
"If oppa eats deliciously, I feel good too."
"......You don't even know what you like?"
"I know."
Naeun's gaze immediately went down.
"Probably..."
"Probably?"
"I like singing."
"......"
"If oppa listens."
"Naeuna. Do you know you're saying something really weird right now?"
"A little."
An unexpected answer came out.
"You know?"
"Yes. I know that I seem weird to oppa sometimes."
"......"
"But I don't really know how to not be weird. I just care about oppa."
"......"
"Whether you're eating well, sleeping properly, if there's anywhere that hurts. I care too much."
Naeun was still looking down.
"What are you talking about right now."
Naeun's hand went down below the table.
Soon she carefully placed a small object down.
A black remote control.
It's an object I can't forget even if I try to forget.
"......You."
I felt like my throat was blocked and cold sweat seemed to flow.
But Naeun took her hand off the remote.
And slowly placed both hands on her own knees.
"I don't want to use something like this. Oppa gets hurt."
"......Then why are you showing it."
My voice came out sharply without me realizing.
"Because oppa keeps worrying about it."
"......"
"I didn't want to hide it and talk."
"What."
"If I want to say I want to help oppa......"
Naeun slightly clenched her fingertips.
"I thought I should show that I have this first."
"......."
"If I pretend it's okay while hiding it, that's a lie."
At those words, I looked down at the remote.
Among the soup and plates on the table, it alone looked like an object from a completely different world.
"You knew too. What this is."
Naeun nodded her head slightly.
"Yes."
"You had it while knowing?"
"......Yes."
With both hands placed on her knees, she stayed still with her hands off the remote.
"Why."
"I was scared."
"Of what."
Naeun couldn't answer for a long time.
Then she spoke in a very small voice.
"That oppa might disappear."
"......."
"I know I'm weird. Having this, and not being able to let go even though I know oppa would hate it."
Her gaze slowly fell downward.
"But still, I was scared."
Naeun's voice trembled a little.
"If oppa suddenly disappears, I feel like I won't be able to do anything."
Naeun carefully pushed the remote a little toward me.
The black remote slid across the table closer to me.
I reflexively stiffened my body.
But Naeun immediately took her hand off, and placed both hands on her knees again.
"I'll put it on oppa's side for now."
"......."
"I won't touch it."
Just because the remote was placed on my side didn't mean everything was resolved.
Whether Naeun could take it back if she wanted.
Whether this remote alone was the end of the problem.
I couldn't be sure of anything.
Even so, the fact that Naeun didn't hide it and took it out strangely shook me.
"Why are you doing this."
"Because I want to help."
"......What?"
"Oppa."
The lighting that had felt warm just a moment ago now seemed to sink strangely cold.
Naeun was looking straight at me.
"I don't like oppa getting hurt."
"......."
"I don't like you being scared either."
"So?"
"So I want to help."
Her voice was still small, but clearer than before.
"I'm not saying I'll do something right now."
"......."
"I can't do anything yet either."
Naeun looked at the remote for a moment.
"But doing nothing is even more unpleasant."
Naeun quietly continued.
"I know oppa doesn't trust me."
"......."
"But it's okay."
She smiled very faintly.
"Today I just wanted you to know this."
"What."
"I don't want to use this."
Naeun's gaze went up from the remote to my face.
"Because oppa hurts."
***
The car slowly went up onto the road.
It was late at night so there weren't many cars on the street.
"So we just go to the Dormitory, right?"
"Yes."
Naeun sitting in the passenger seat answered quietly.
Because of the hoodie and mask she put back on when leaving the restaurant, her expression was almost invisible.
"Oppa."
"Why."
"Are you angry?"
"......"
Since I didn't answer, she also fell silent.
But she slightly clenched the fingertips she placed on her bag.
And in that hand was the black remote.
I looked only ahead while holding the steering wheel.
"What you said earlier about helping."
"......"
"Are you serious?"
"...Yes."
"Then you want me to believe that?"
"I'm not saying believe it right now."
"......"
"I know oppa doesn't trust me."
"If you know, shouldn't you give that to me?"
"Not now."
"Is that the help you talked about?"
"When my turn is over, someone else comes to get this."
"So you can't give it?"
She nodded her head slightly.
"You said you'd help."
"If I give it now, oppa will be in more danger."
"That's your thought."
"That's right. It's my thought. So I can't give it right now."
"......"
"Instead."
Her voice became a little smaller.
"Instead what."
"...... There's a dressing room in our Dormitory room, right."
"The place you locked me in?"
"...Yes. I'll tell you the password there."