Your Necklace
I'd made quite the spectacle of myself the day before yesterday.
No — if I was honest, "quite a lot" would be closer to the truth than "a little."
I tried to console myself with the fact that anyone would be stunned to run into a person who had vanished without a word the moment the war ended. But that didn't change the fact that a grown woman had burst into tears calling a man's name the instant she laid eyes on him.
And of all people, it had to be Riven. The mere thought of it still made my face burn.
Which was why I hadn't been able to go find him all of yesterday. I was afraid that if I showed up again, the day before yesterday would come rushing back to the surface.
But a full day had passed by now, so surely it would be fine.
That was what I told myself as I checked the time, and seeing that lunch was approaching, the thought came to me quite naturally — why not have lunch with Riven?
We'd eaten together now and then back on the battlefield, so there was nothing strange about it. Sharing a single meal with a comrade I'd just reunited with after so long — what was there to be embarrassed about?
The only problem was that Riven had never told me when his classes were. But I already knew that, too.
The rumor that a newly arrived professor had snapped the jaw of the top-ranked first-year on his very first day had spread through every corner of the Academy in less than a day, and there was no need to check who this new professor was.
Who else but Riven would do something like that?
Thanks to that, finding out which training ground he used and how late his classes ran hadn't been difficult either.
Not that I intended to show up right when his class ended.
That would be far too obvious.
No — I was simply taking a stroll as lunchtime drew near, and it just so happened my walk would carry me past that way. And if I should happen to run into Riven coming out of his class, well then, two old comrades would naturally agree to grab lunch together.
Something like that wasn't strange at all.
So there I was, deliberately strolling at a leisurely pace near the training grounds, when I spotted a familiar figure in the distance.
Hair carelessly tied back, wearing some of the shabbiest clothes I'd ever seen from who knows where — even from far away, I recognized Riven at a glance.
It looked like his class had just ended.
I started toward him, suppressing a smile that crept up before I could stop it — and then I noticed someone standing beside him.
A girl in the Academy uniform.
She was clearly a student, yet she was walking pressed right up against Riven's side, chattering away as if nothing in the world could be more delightful, while Riven wore an annoyed expression and answered half-heartedly — though he didn't actually send her away.
I stopped in my tracks.
Ha…?
He's barely been here and he's already got girls clinging to him?
Granted, she was a student. If someone asked what was so strange about a professor talking with a student, I wouldn't have had much of an answer — but still, did she really have to walk that close?
It bothered me a little.
Really, truly just a little.
I fixed my expression for no particular reason and resumed walking. As I drew near, the first to notice me wasn't Riven, but the girl beside him.
The moment our eyes met, hers went wide — and then her whole face lit up.
"Oh! Saintess!"
And with that, she abandoned Riven — whom she'd been pestering so earnestly mere seconds ago — and came running straight toward me.
"Hello!"
The girl stopped in front of me and bowed deeply at the waist.
I managed to return the greeting in a daze.
"Ah, yes. Hello."
"I admire you so much!"
"Is that so?"
"Yes!"
Seeing her eyes sparkle like that, the strange discomfort I'd been feeling just moments ago faded somewhat.
She didn't seem like a bad kid.
And above all, she seemed to like me far more than she liked Riven — which, I had to admit, pleased me a little.
Riven, who had caught up belatedly, was watching her with an expression of utter bewilderment.
"Hey."
"Yes?"
"Weren't you asking me something just now?"
"You can tell me next time."
"……"
Riven's face twisted in a peculiar way.
Watching him, I nearly burst out laughing, but I held it in. Seeing an opportunity, I turned to the girl and asked,
"May I ask your name?"
"I'm Sienna!"
"Miss Sienna."
"Yes!"
"I'm sorry, but I have something to discuss with the gentleman here. Would you mind giving us a moment?"
"Oh, of course! Understood!"
Her answer came without a flicker of hesitation. Sienna bowed her head to me once more.
"See you again!"
"Yes. See you next time."
"Goodbye, Professor!"
"Am I just a bonus?"
"No!"
She was already running off as she said it.
I watched Sienna's retreating back and smiled faintly.
"A charming student."
"Her attitude's completely different from when she was glued to my side."
"I suppose she likes me."
"Looks that way."
At his answer, I looked over at Riven.
His face was the same as ever. But seeing it like that brought the day before yesterday rushing back, and I felt my cheeks begin to heat — so I did my best to act as if nothing had happened.
Come to think of it, there was something I'd been curious about for a while now.
"You're quite popular, aren't you?"
"Me?"
"You've barely been here and already a student follows you around like that?"
"I bought her a meal. That's all it took."
"You bought her a meal?"
The words came out of me in a higher pitch than I intended, and Riven gave me an odd look.
"Why?"
"Nothing. Just—"
"Wasn't even my money."
"……Then whose money was it?"
"Shook down the students."
"……"
That was Riven for you.
How long had this man been at the Academy, and he was already extorting the student body?
I felt I should ask for details, but I had a feeling I'd just end up with a headache if I did, so I let it go for now.
"Still, word of you is already spreading among the students."
"About what?"
"That the new professor knocked out the top first-year with his bare hands on day one."
"Ah."
"'Ah' is not an acceptable answer."
"He swung at me first. What was I supposed to do?"
"You're a professor. Couldn't you have let it slide, just a little?"
"I did let it slide. That's why I only twisted his jaw."
"…That counts as letting it slide?"
"He's not dead, is he?"
I was left speechless.
Perhaps the mistake was in trying to explain common sense to a man who'd spent half his life on the battlefield.
Could it really be all right to let someone like this teach students…?
"By the way, Riven."
"Yes."
"The students don't know who you are, do they?"
"No."
"Why not tell them?"
Riven gave me another strange look.
"Tell them what?"
"What do you mean, what? That you're the man they called the Guide on the Frontline — the man who slew a Legion Commander of the Demon King's army. If they knew, the students wouldn't dare look down on you."
"How exactly am I supposed to say that with my own mouth?"
"Why not?"
"Because it's embarrassing."
The answer came back so matter-of-factly that I could only stare at him for a moment.
"…You find that embarrassing?"
"Well, wouldn't you? Going around saying, 'I was called the Guide on the Frontline, so you'd all best listen to what I say.' Really?"
Riven made a genuinely revolted face.
"I'd rather they just ignore me."
A laugh burst out of me before I could stop it.
"What's so funny?"
"Nothing. Nothing at all."
This, at least, hadn't changed one bit.
He'd hated talking about himself back on the battlefield too. While others went around recounting his exploits, he'd sit there drinking and pretending not to hear, and the moment anyone so much as spoke one of his titles, he'd wrinkle his nose in disgust.
Somehow, seeing that again made my heart ache in a good way.
"Then shall I tell the students for you?"
"Please don't."
"Why not?"
"I mean it. Please don't."
"They'd come to respect you, you know."
"Don't need it."
"Well, if the Guide insists, I suppose I have no choice."
"Saintess."
"Yes?"
"One more word and I'm going to sulk."
"All right, all right."
I raised both hands a little, laughing.
And so we began walking together, trading idle chatter about nothing in particular. We had no destination in mind, and since my original plan had been to invite him to lunch anyway, I figured I could bring it up naturally in a little while.
But as I walked beside Riven, something struck me as off.
At first, I couldn't tell what it was.
The scars on his face were the same. The carelessly tied hair was the same. His clothes seemed even shabbier than they'd been during the war, but that wasn't it either.
I stole a few glances at him before my gaze drifted, quite naturally, to his neck — and only then did I realize what had changed.
The necklace was gone.
It had hung around Riven's neck from the very first day I met him on the battlefield.
He'd worn it in every battle. He'd worn it even when they carried him in half-dead from his wounds. If anything, the sight of his bare neck now felt stranger than the necklace ever had.
Above all, I knew exactly who that necklace was meant to match — and why Riven had treasured it so dearly.
The day before yesterday, I'd been so overwhelmed at seeing him again that I simply hadn't noticed.
"Riven."
"Yes."
"Where's your necklace?"
Riven looked at me as if he had no idea what I was talking about.
"What necklace?"
"The one you always wore."
Only then did his hand rise, quite naturally, to his neck — brushing over the bare skin where nothing hung.
"Ah… that thing."
"Yes."
"I took it off."
The answer was so offhand that I just stared at him for a moment before asking again.
"Why?"
"No reason."
"No reason?"
"No."
Something was wrong. The man who had cherished that necklace so dearly would never have taken it off for no reason at all.
"You didn't throw it away, did you?"
"No. I didn't throw it away."
"Then where is it?"
"Buried at the bottom of my pack."
My steps slowed without my meaning them to.
Riven — this Riven — had stuffed that necklace into his luggage. I found it hard to believe, but Riven himself kept walking as if it were nothing at all, adding:
"Doesn't seem necessary anymore."
The moment I heard those words, an image rose unbidden before my eyes: Arien, right after the war ended, drawing a necklace from a box — one identical to Riven's — and fastening it around her own neck with such tender care.
She'd told me it was the necklace she'd bought together with the most precious person of her childhood.
A token they'd split between them so that no matter why they parted, they would recognize each other when they met again someday.
She'd been so afraid of losing it on the battlefield that she hadn't even been able to wear it, keeping it safe and treasured all that time instead.
The moment the war ended, Arien had put her necklace back on. And Riven — the moment the war ended — had taken his off and buried it in his bag.
Even without asking why, I understood what it meant.
For Arien, it was a promise she had only just been able to take hold of again. For Riven, it had become a promise that no longer needed holding.
And the instant that thought crossed my mind, I felt it — brief, but unmistakable. Relief.
And afterward, I felt like a truly despicable person for it.
I knew how desperately Arien was searching for Riven. I knew she had gone all the way back to their hometown after the war.
I knew that when she failed to find him there, she'd set out across the continent again, hunting for any trace of him.
And yet here I was, happy at the thought that Riven might have given up on her.
"Saintess?"
"…Yes?"
"Are you all right?"
Somewhere along the way, Riven had walked a few paces ahead, and he was looking back at me now.
I hastily gathered my expression and quickened my steps.
"It's nothing."
"Your face says otherwise."
"It doesn't."
"If you say so."
"I do."
Riven asked nothing more.
I was grateful for that — and, somehow, it stung a little too.
Falling back in beside him, I stole another glance at the bare skin of his neck.
I knew I shouldn't be happy about this. And yet the satisfaction welling up from somewhere deep inside was beyond my control.
Maybe — just maybe — I have a chance too.
The moment the thought formed, guilt came flooding back. But this time, I didn't force myself to deny it.
I was in love with Riven.
I'd treated this man again and again as he fought on the battlefield wearing a face that said dying was no concern of his, and somewhere between my scolding and my worry, I had fallen for him.
But I had never once spoken the words aloud.
I had no idea how he saw me. And I was afraid — afraid that if I confessed and was rejected, even the privilege of standing beside him as I did now would turn awkward.
Above all, I hadn't wanted to weigh down the heart of a man who gambled his life from one day to the next. So time after time, I opened my mouth, and time after time, I swallowed the words back down.
I decided I would tell him when the war was over.
If Riven survived and I survived — if the day ever came when we no longer had to wonder if tomorrow might kill us — then I thought it would be all right to want something for myself, just once.
And in truth, on the day the war ended, I'd made up my mind.
Tell him you love him. Tell him you want to stay by his side, always. This time, really tell him properly.
That was the day I learned the truth instead.
Someone else had already lived in Riven's heart, long before I ever arrived.
And it was no fleeting affection I might have wedged my way into with a little effort.
It was the reason he had endured eleven years on the battlefield — the reason he had clawed his way back from death, time after time, refusing to let go of life.
Only after the war, when I heard Arien's story about the necklace, did Riven's inexplicable behavior begin to fall into place, piece by piece.
The way he volunteered without hesitation for a rescue operation that was certain death the moment word came that the Hero's party was trapped. The way, even when I ran to him in tears after he'd carved a path through the encirclement with his own life on the line, I could finally see where his gaze had landed.
That day, I'd been so certain Riven was looking at me.
I'd been so happy, believing that gaze was mine — when all along it had been fixed on Arien, just past my shoulder.
When I realized it, the shock was inescapable. I'd thought that once the war ended, I could finally tell him how I felt.
Instead, before I ever got the chance, I learned that the man I loved had spent his entire life looking at one person, and one person only.
And yet I couldn't simply will the feeling away.
Knowing that he loved someone else didn't make deciding to stop loving him any easier. Hearts don't work that way.
But now — now the man I loved had untied, with his own hands, the very necklace he had once treasured so dearly, and buried it in his bag.
I couldn't believe his feelings for Arien had vanished entirely. But at the very least, it no longer seemed as though he intended to live the way he used to, clinging to that one person alone.
Then perhaps…
Perhaps a small crack has opened — one meant for me.
I'm sorry, Arien. But…
But you had Riven from childhood, didn't you? You had years of laughing together, crying together — years of being able to say you loved each other.
So surely I, too… surely it's all right for me to want something. Just a little?
I knew this line of thinking wasn't right. But just this once, I wanted to let myself have it.
And then, as we walked, Riven suddenly turned to look at me.
"By the way — why have you been following me this whole time?"
"…I'm sorry, what?"
Every thought in my head scattered at once.
"Well, my class ended and I was heading back to my quarters, and you just… kept walking next to me."
"……"
I could only stare at him, dumbfounded.
Is this man truly, genuinely incapable of reading a room?
"It's lunchtime."
"It is."
"So I was looking for—"
I caught myself and shut my mouth quickly.
Riven's eyes narrowed.
"Looking for?"
"…I happened to be passing by, that's all."
"I see."
"So I thought we might have lunch together."
"Ah."
Only then did Riven nod, as if finally understanding.
"Right. Of course."
It was barely a single sentence, and yet the tangle of feelings from moments ago melted away as if it had never been there at all.
Trying to hide how giddy I felt, I turned my gaze forward first.
"What would you like to eat?"
"Anything's fine."
"Do you know 'anything' is the hardest answer in the world?"
"Then eat whatever the Saintess wants."
"Are you sure that's all right?"
"Not like I'm the one paying."
"…Wait. Am I the one paying?"
"I don't have any money."
"You said you shook down the students."
"That's for alcohol."
"Riven."
"What."
"You cannot drink away money you extorted from students."
"Then what am I supposed to spend it on?"
"Give it back!"
"That's a bit…"
"A bit of what?"
When I finally lost my patience and raised my voice, Riven wearily scratched at his ear.
Watching him do it, everything I'd agonized over alone just moments ago suddenly felt ridiculous.
But that was fine.
The man I'd been waiting for, wondering when he'd ever return, was walking right beside me now. And from here on, I could go see him whenever I wished.
So there was no need to rush. The words I couldn't say on the battlefield, the feelings I never managed to deliver — I could offer them slowly, one by one, starting now.
The real problem was that this man was far denser than I'd ever imagined.
He hadn't noticed a thing about why I kept orbiting around him, and judging by his face, the idea of having lunch together hadn't even crossed his mind until I said it outright.
Where on earth would I even begin, trying to convey my feelings to someone like this?
I stole a sidelong glance at Riven, walking along beside me without a clue.
But there was no need for haste anymore. From now on, I could seek him out whenever I wanted, just like before. We could share meals like this.
So this time, I intended to get closer — close enough that he could never simply vanish from my life again.