My mother said she still loves my father
My mother said she still loved my father.
I had dozed off while the man administered the blood transfusion, but the jolt of the carriage jolted me awake.
Reclining in a chair made of luxurious fabric, I wondered what was going on and tried to get up in a hurry, but
perhaps the pressure point technique hadn’t fully worn off yet, as I couldn’t move; I could only manage to open my eyes slightly with great effort.
Where am I...?
It seemed I had been lying on a seat inside the carriage.
The luxurious interior decor reinforced my suspicion that this man was no ordinary person.
Though I suppose an ordinary person wouldn’t go so far as to call himself “Your Highness.”
This wasn’t the time for that. Where was my mother?
I turned my gaze to the opposite side of the carriage.
There, with her face flushed, she was sitting on the man’s lap, cradled in his arms.
It wasn’t just her face that was flushed; her breathing was ragged, and beads of sweat were forming on her forehead.
“Ugh, please stop that. Young-ah will wake up.”
The man—no, this crazy bastard—was holding my mother in his arms, burying his nose in her neck as if to inhale her scent, licking her as if to taste her.
“She won’t wake up for a while. Was her name Se-young? Even if she does wake up, what then, ma’am?
Shouldn’t we let the child know who her mother’s master is?”
Judging by the way he smiled at me, he seemed to have realized that while I had regained consciousness, I was still unable to move my body.
You crazy bastard, what are you doing to my mother! Get your filthy hands off her!?
I should have shouted something to pull my mother away from that perverted bastard.
But as if in defiance of the previous abuse, my body betrayed my will and simply told me to wait quietly for recovery.
Mother!!
The bastard, burying his face in the nape of my mother’s neck once more, began to fondle her body as if it were his own.
“But I have more important business to attend to, madam. It’s been a full 15 years. Even if you were unable to have children or recover from childbirth for the first year or two after you ran away, I think we need to confirm whether you’ve been with other men during the rest of that time.”
“Sniff, there’s no way… that could be true!? Eek!!”
“Well, we’ll find out if we ask your body.”
It looked as though my mother’s hands were clutching something between her legs.
“Please stop. Hmph, I’m a mother myself. I haven’t done anything I’d be ashamed to tell my child about.”
“Do you think I don’t know how much effort it takes for a single woman to settle down with a young infant? Did you really think I’d just take your word for it when you say you’re not a woman?”
A hand that wasn’t her mother’s emerged from between her mother’s legs.
And at the tip of that hand, a transparent, viscous liquid oozed out.
Upon seeing this, Mother blushed even deeper and turned her head away, trying to look the other way.
“Why on earth are you mocking a woman who has already left like this?”
“So it’s true that you haven’t had a man around recently? Judging by how drenched you are, have you been longing for a man’s embrace?”
“…!! Are you deliberately humiliating me with such vulgar words?”
“I’m merely asking the truth. Did you know? Your body smells of peaches. It’s been so long since I’ve smelled that scent—I simply can’t resist.”
That crazy pervert licked the liquid off his hand as if it were sweet.
“No, no, stop it!”
My mother, perhaps feeling insulted, blushed even deeper. She grabbed his arm with both hands and pulled him away to stop him from licking it.
“Then how about you clean this hand—which you’ve soiled—yourself?”
“…No.”
“In that case, I’ll have to eat this precious honey myself.”
My mother frantically snatched his arm away as he brought it back to his mouth, her face flushing as red as it could possibly get as she pleaded.
“I’ll do it, I’ll do it! So please…!”
My mother glanced once at the liquid on the hand he’d brought to her mouth, then closed her eyes tightly, put it in her mouth, and began to lick it.
“Haa, hmmph”
Seeing the expression on my mother’s face as she began to lick it so earnestly, I felt confused.
Was my mother really forcing herself to give her body to that man?
Had I just misunderstood the whole thing?
Had the two of them become close enough to do such things to each other while I was unconscious?
Thinking back on their conversation before I lost consciousness, it seemed like my mother and that man already knew each other.
Then what was that fear I sensed in my mother’s demeanor when she first met him?
I don’t know. Maybe I’m just a country bumpkin who’s lived only in the mountains and is clueless about the basics of relationships between men and women, so I’m misinterpreting their connection.
Or perhaps the two of them have already fallen in love, and I’ve just become a thoughtless child holding my mother back.
Maybe I knew all along.
Maybe I’d just been turning a blind eye.
Every time I came down from the mountains to sell the wild greens and medicinal herbs I’d gathered, along with the vegetables I’d grown, and to buy daily necessities,
people would look at my young, beautiful mother with pity.
Aunties and grandmothers would say that raising a child alone was hard work and, using me as an excuse, try to set her up on blind dates.
The men who had their eyes on my mother would click their tongues as if I were some kind of obstacle.
Everyone saw me as a burden to my mother.
Whenever that happened, my mother would come home and hug me, saying that I alone was enough.
Perhaps my mother was even deceiving herself.
“It seems the child has woken up.”
Just as I was feeling confused, the man’s side noticed my movement and informed my mother that I had woken up.
“My dear, Young-ah, are you all right?”
As if she’d never blushed, my mother rushed over to me in an instant, embraced me, and checked on my condition.
A warm glow enveloped me.
“Mother, I’m fine.”
Held in my mother’s arms, looking at her face and meeting her eyes, I told her I was fine.
I had a feeling that someday I would have to say those exact same words to her.
From my mother’s embrace—her face still slightly flushed—came a faint, sweet scent of peaches.
After traveling for quite some time, the carriage came to a stop in a very bustling city.
As it was dinnertime, we decided to have a meal and spend the night in this city before setting out the next day.
It was already past Yusi (between 5:00 p.m. and 7:00 p.m.), so the sun would soon set in this region.
Stepping onto solid ground for the first time in a long while as the carriage came to a stop in front of a luxurious-looking inn, my stomach churned.
Was it because I’d gone too long without eating, or was I feeling motion sickness from traveling by carriage for such a long time for the first time in my life?
In contrast to my confused mind, my body—which had just expended all its energy recovering—was screaming for food.
In the brightly lit dining room on the first floor, the innkeeper rushed out and prostrated himself.
“I pay my respects to Your Majesty.”
Judging by the number of people who had followed him out and prostrated themselves as well, it seemed the entire staff of the inn had come out to greet him.
“Well, you’ve worked hard. Prepare two rooms and a separate, quiet place for us to eat.”
Seeing how naturally the man gave orders, it seemed this massive inn was also his property.
“As you command!”
At a single command from the man, all the staff quickly dispersed and returned to their posts.
Seeing an organization displaying such discipline bowing down before a single man standing right before me,
I felt an ever-growing sense of contrast between them and myself. Rather than wondering if I could protect my mother,
I began to question whether stepping forward in the name of protecting her was truly in her best interest.
As I followed the man upstairs, I saw that an entire floor had been cleared out to make room for a meal.
How much money and power would it take to pull something like this off?
Having lived only in the mountains, it was impossible for me to even begin to fathom.
As I sat in my chair waiting, my eyes met those of the man across from me.
“I am—no, ahem. My name is Ma Cheon-seong.”
He suddenly began introducing himself.
Seeing how he almost referred to himself as “this one” but then settled for a more ordinary introduction,
I thought he might have been in that position for quite some time.
“I am….”
The words wouldn’t come easily.
Thinking of that overwhelming cliff I’d seen earlier as just a fragment of this man, I wondered if, assuming there were a heaven above heaven,
it would surely refer to this man, Ma Cheon-seong.
“So, your name is Se-young, right? It’s a nice name. I’ve heard about you from your mother.”
“Yes, my name is Se-young. I don’t have a last name.”
“You’ve been living just the two of you with your mother? You must have had a hard time taking care of her.”
Suddenly, he’s being kind to me.
Where had that arrogant man I met at first gone? Was he now pretending to be a friendly older brother from the neighborhood?
It seemed like this guy had feelings for my mother and was trying to get close to me by putting on a friendly facade.
I wished he’d just stop.
To me, my mother is my only family.
But I didn’t have the overwhelming strength, power, or wealth that the man standing before me possessed.
As I kept seeing that gap between us, I grew increasingly insecure.
I didn’t want to let my mother go, but I couldn’t ignore her happiness just because of my own selfishness.
Still, I can still vividly picture how my mother acted toward him when they first reunited.
For now, I need to find out what kind of relationship they have and exactly why she acted the way she did when they reunited.
“Se-young, the truth is, I’m your father….”
“Father?”
“He’s a friend of your father’s, Young-ah.”
My mother suddenly interrupted the conversation.
Unlike her usual self—who always listened to the other person until the very end—she clearly looked a bit flustered.
“Um, you two….”
Just as I opened my mouth to clarify their relationship, a rumbling began in my stomach.
At the sound and vibration—as if an earthquake had struck—the two of them smiled and looked at me.
“Haha, you little rascal. Looks like you’re really hungry. Hey, go ahead and grab the first dish that comes out.”
“Young-ah, the food will be out soon. Let’s just wait a little longer.”
How could these two get along so well? My stomach churned a little more.
Delicacies from land and sea that I’d never even heard of before kept appearing, and not a single dish among them had a taste or aroma that didn’t suit my palate.
Ma Cheon-seong instructed the waitstaff to place a plate in front of me every time a new dish arrived, then ordered more food, and
My mother picked out the parts that looked the most delicious and placed them on top of my rice bowl.
Before I knew it, she had stacked my plate high like a tower. It was the first time I’d ever eaten that much.
“I’m glad you enjoyed your meal.”
“He’s not usually a picky eater, but I guess the food really suited his taste. This is the first time I’ve ever seen him eat this much.”
Watching them exchange pleasantries, I felt resentful toward myself for having eaten so mindlessly.
What kind of state am I in, of all people, who’s supposed to be protecting my mother!
For a young boy like me, not even 15 yet, it was a frustrating situation, but at the time, I had no choice but to drive myself even harder.
“Thank you for the meal…”
I cleared the table and went to wash up.
After the meal, the innkeeper came to tell me the bathwater was ready, so—at my mother’s insistence—I went to take a bath.
I felt a bit sticky, perhaps from sweating profusely after losing consciousness, so I headed over—and what I saw before me was a small private bath.
Since it was my first time in a private bath, I might have sweated a little too much.
When I returned to the room, Mother seemed to have already finished bathing; her skin glistened, and her cheeks were flushed, giving off a warm glow.
I approached Mother, who was standing by my bed at the far end of the room, and embraced her.
“Young-ah, did you finish washing? Did you wash yourself thoroughly and evenly?”
She felt a little unfamiliar today, but seeing how worried she was about me, I realized she was indeed my mother.
“I’m not a child anymore, you know.”
My mother held me close, and in her embrace, I felt the same comfort I always had.
She really is the mother I’ve always known. Just because she showed a moment of unfamiliarity didn’t mean she wasn’t my mother.
“Mom, there’s something I’d like to ask you.”
“Go ahead, tell me. I’ll answer to the best of my knowledge.”
“Is that man, Ma Cheon-seong, really Dad’s friend?”
Mom paused for a moment before answering.
“Yes, he is your father’s friend.”
“So, do you like him, Mother?”
“Well… what do you mean by that?”
My mother’s voice wavered for a moment.
“If my Young-a had such a thought, there must be a reason.”
This was awkward. I felt as if I’d committed a sin—as if I’d seen something I shouldn’t have—when I replied,
“I saw what you and that man, Ma Cheon-seong, were doing in the carriage.”
“It’s just… I saw the two of them talking affectionately, and the thought suddenly crossed my mind.”
Mother looked me straight in the eyes.
This was a promise between Mother and me.
As long as we looked each other in the eyes, we agreed not to lie to one another and to speak only from the heart.
“Does it bother you, Young-ah, that your mother seems to get along well with a man named Ma Cheon-seong?”
“…It doesn’t make me feel good. But when I think about how much you’ve suffered because of me, if you say you like him, I’ll try to put up with it.”
My mother’s eyes welled up slightly as she hugged me.
“My Young-ah has really grown up…”
I stepped back from her embrace after she sniffled once, looked into her eyes again, and asked.
“If you say you like him, I’ll try my best to like him too. But there’s something that’s been bothering me.
It’s the expression you had on your face when you first met him.”
“Can you tell me what kind of expression I had?”
“You looked very, very frightened.”
“Well, that was because I was taken aback.
Your mother and I had a disagreement during our last meeting and parted ways.
I was planning to tell you what I was thinking the next time we met, but you came by sooner than expected, so I was caught off guard.
The reason I’m following him like this is that once I’ve sorted out my thoughts, I intend to persuade him and then return.”
“Is that so…? Then why did you try to send me off alone when we first met him?”
“Well, that’s because I had to discuss matters that were still too difficult for a young child to understand. My thoughtful child—you’ve been worrying so much about me that it’s been eating away at you. To make it up to you, I’ll buy you something even tastier than what we ate at the inn earlier on our way back.”
Mother seems to have forgotten even the condition she set—that she would never see me again.
I have just one more question to ask. After pushing my body to the limit, eating my fill, and even taking a bath, I’m so drowsy that my vision is blurring.
“Do you still love Father?”
Mother gave a slight smile and replied.
“Of course, I still love your father, Young-ah.”
Having heard the words I longed to hear, I returned to my bed and lay down.
“Good night.”
“Are you going to sleep?”
“Yes.”
“I love you, Young-ah.”
“Me too….”
With those words, I sank into a deep sleep.
I heard Mother mutter something one last time and the sound of the door opening, but having let go of the thread of consciousness, I could no longer hear her.
“I’ll always watch over your daily life, Young-ah.”